Current Events > Should guys pay on the first date?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I don't think I ever paid for both on a first date

Each person usually takes care of themselves
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the girl usually offers to pay half
i had a date on saturday where i paid for the whole thing though
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depends on if youre going out with a girl or a WOMAN.
lol i dunno
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depends on how the date is going IMO.

If you guys are really hitting it off, then yes guy would be smart to pick up the tab.

if the date is meh or just terrible and there's no chemistry, you bail after the drinks/apps.
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Is your aim to get lucky? Then you best be paying.
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I generally pay. I don't mind, I feel like a daddy when I do. Also especially if I'm the one asking a girl out then yeah I pay.

If the relationship is going well though after a few dates I split too

Imo, if its the first date whoever asked can pay but dont push it. Otherwise and after that either split or rotate

The person who asked the other party out should pay for the date.

When it comes to online matchmaking, that's a bit trickier, but I'd say the dude should pay as well just because I know that the ratio of men to women on those things are way out of whack and you should just be happy to get a date on that with an actual woman, so pay up.
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I'm a traditionalist in this sense but I'm also of the belief you shouldn't be taking someone out to somewhere expensive on the first date.
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Takes all I got just to afford to pay attention.
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theAteam posted...

I'm a traditionalist in this sense but I'm also of the belief you shouldn't be taking someone out to somewhere expensive on the first date.

Also true.

Im a big fan of like bowling and a drink

theAteam posted...

I'm a traditionalist in this sense but I'm also of the belief you shouldn't be taking someone out to somewhere expensive on the first date.

Usually coffee is my go to

That or CPR classes
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inviter should plan on paying for the date

invitee should plan on covering their half if needed
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Doom_Art posted...

theAteam posted...

I'm a traditionalist in this sense but I'm also of the belief you shouldn't be taking someone out to somewhere expensive on the first date.

Usually coffee is my go to

That or CPR classes

I've been told by multiple women that coffee isn't putting enough effort in.

I'm no longer dating those women.

CPR class is an interesting one, though. Worst case you both leave with a new good skill.
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pauIie posted...

inviter should plan on paying for the date

invitee should plan on covering their half if needed

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theAteam posted...

I've been told by multiple women that coffee isn't putting enough effort in.

I'm no longer dating those women.

Hmm, never heard anyone say that honestly but if they feel that way, I'd say you're doing yourself a favor by no longer dating them. I mean, that's kinda entitled ain't it?
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I pay

But I expect the whole "fighting for the check" scene to play out
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I always pay as a power move.
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Chad does not pay for his shit.
incels pay for everything.

Twin3Turbo posted...

theAteam posted...

I've been told by multiple women that coffee isn't putting enough effort in.

I'm no longer dating those women.

Hmm, never heard anyone say that honestly but if they feel that way, I'd say you're doing yourself a favor by no longer dating them. I mean, that's kinda entitled ain't it?

It's par for the course on Tinder/Bumble. they know they have a lot of options and can demand more than they would IRL.
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For a lot of guys I went out with, going on a date was a favor. I was being nice by giving them a chance. I'm not gonna spend $50 on top of that. I can stay home and be just as happy and wait for the next date.
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The guy should be prepared to pay on the first date unless the girl makes it abundantly clear in advance that the bill's going to be split. That in and of itself might be some kind of a test but honestly you're better off without a woman who feels it necessary to "test" you through something as dumb as that.
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Yeah. Like a gas station, pay first and then pump.

rikasa posted...

For a lot of guys I went out with, going on a date was a favor. I was being nice by giving them a chance. I'm not gonna spend $50 on top of that. I can stay home and be just as happy and wait for the next date.

Why even date in the first place?
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theAteam posted...

rikasa posted...

For a lot of guys I went out with, going on a date was a favor. I was being nice by giving them a chance. I'm not gonna spend $50 on top of that. I can stay home and be just as happy and wait for the next date.

Why even date in the first place?

It's rikasa she can get any man she wants.
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if she gave you a good time and was a good date, you should offer to pay.
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catboy0_0 posted...

if she gave you a good time and was a good date, you should offer to pay.

if not then you excuse yourself to go to the restroom m i rite
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pauIie posted...

inviter should plan on paying for the date

invitee should plan on covering their half if needed

im going with this
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Hexenherz posted...

catboy0_0 posted...

if she gave you a good time and was a good date, you should offer to pay.

if not then you excuse yourself to go to the restroom m i rite

lmao yes. if she ignores you and is on her phone the whole time she wouldn't even notice
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catboy0_0 posted...

if she gave you a good time and was a good date, you should offer to pay.

I don't get it. Why does it only apply to the guy? What if he gave her a good time and she felt it was a good date? Should she pay then?
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Twin3Turbo posted...

catboy0_0 posted...

if she gave you a good time and was a good date, you should offer to pay.

I don't get it. Why does it only apply to the guy? What if he gave her a good time and she felt it was a good date? Should she pay then?

Then she can pay on the second date, if she wants.
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Hexenherz posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

catboy0_0 posted...

if she gave you a good time and was a good date, you should offer to pay.

I don't get it. Why does it only apply to the guy? What if he gave her a good time and she felt it was a good date? Should she pay then?

Then she can pay on the second date, if she wants.

Why not the first? And why only if she wants? Why is she entitled to not having to financially commit but the guy is?
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I don't think there should be norms for this, honestly. It should be that the two people in question figure it out for themselves.

Twin3Turbo posted...

Hexenherz posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

catboy0_0 posted...

if she gave you a good time and was a good date, you should offer to pay.

I don't get it. Why does it only apply to the guy? What if he gave her a good time and she felt it was a good date? Should she pay then?

Then she can pay on the second date, if she wants.

Why not the first? And why only if she wants? Why is she entitled to not having to financially commit but the guy is?

Because I'm a traditional type of person in this respect and I wholly support both parties in a relationship cooperating and contributing equally but I still think the guy should pay for meals. I'm not opposed if the girl really insists but traditionally that's not how it's supposed to go.

I don't think that's how it *needs* to go, of course every couple is going to approach it differently. But that's what's comfortable to assume and depend on because that's what society has known for so many centuries.
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pauIie posted...

inviter should plan on paying for the date

invitee should plan on covering their half if needed

Not a bad way to look at it tbh. Reasonable expectation, but be prepared if it doesn't work out that way.
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Usually. Ive been on a date before where I got the meal and the girl paid for some expensive drinks after. That was nice.
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Even most feminist women think the guy should pay
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Hexenherz posted...

But that's what's comfortable to assume and depend on because that's what society has known for so many centuries.

To be fair, dating as we understand it today is very, very recent. Nowhere near centuries old. Courting as a whole is a few hundred years old though, but that definitely didn't involve the guy paying for dinner.

Depends

I always insist on paying. Meaning I will proactively take out my wallet and pay. If I see the woman pull out her purse, I will say "I got it"

Is she insists on paying, then we will pay for ourselves. No need to make her uncomfortable.
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I don't really get this argument, because one thing I got from my father was the "no fuck you I'm buying" mentality with EVERYONE.
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Split it.
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Dragonblade01 posted...

Hexenherz posted...

But that's what's comfortable to assume and depend on because that's what society has known for so many centuries.

To be fair, dating as we understand it today is very, very recent. Nowhere near centuries old. Courting as a whole is a few hundred years old though, but that definitely didn't involve the guy paying for dinner.

That is a good point, but I was looking at it from the point of view that "the man should be the provider" - in that respect. Even though... I think in general that's a pretty outdated viewpoint isn't it :\
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That's sexist.

Doom_Art posted...

I don't think I ever paid for both on a first date

smh
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Yes, and if she doesn't want me to then...I don't and find some one else
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IMO, the person who invites, should the one who pays.
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rikasa posted...

For a lot of guys I went out with, going on a date was a favor. I was being nice by giving them a chance. I'm not gonna spend $50 on top of that. I can stay home and be just as happy and wait for the next date.

this is a troll right
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Hexenherz posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

Hexenherz posted...

But that's what's comfortable to assume and depend on because that's what society has known for so many centuries.

To be fair, dating as we understand it today is very, very recent. Nowhere near centuries old. Courting as a whole is a few hundred years old though, but that definitely didn't involve the guy paying for dinner.

That is a good point, but I was looking at it from the point of view that "the man should be the provider" - in that respect. Even though... I think in general that's a pretty outdated viewpoint isn't it :\

Well, what's interesting is that courtship and dating were somewhat progressive institutions. After all, before that, women and marriage were mostly just used as bartering chips.

Dragonblade01 posted...

Hexenherz posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

Hexenherz posted...

But that's what's comfortable to assume and depend on because that's what society has known for so many centuries.

To be fair, dating as we understand it today is very, very recent. Nowhere near centuries old. Courting as a whole is a few hundred years old though, but that definitely didn't involve the guy paying for dinner.

That is a good point, but I was looking at it from the point of view that "the man should be the provider" - in that respect. Even though... I think in general that's a pretty outdated viewpoint isn't it :\

Well, what's interesting is that courtship and dating were somewhat progressive institutions. After all, before that, women and marriage were mostly just used as bartering chips.

Right, but the woman was still traditionally the "homemaker" and the man the "breadwinner". I know those in themselves are rather obsolete views but I still think some of it carries over to the modern day (such as in the man paying for dinner, or at least insisting on paying for dinner on the first date).
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Twin3Turbo posted...

Hexenherz posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

catboy0_0 posted...

if she gave you a good time and was a good date, you should offer to pay.

I don't get it. Why does it only apply to the guy? What if he gave her a good time and she felt it was a good date? Should she pay then?

Then she can pay on the second date, if she wants.

Why not the first? And why only if she wants? Why is she entitled to not having to financially commit but the guy is?

if she offers to split, she can and she's probably a keeper
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