Current Events > How do you feel about parents who drive their children extremely hard?

(+) Yeah! (+)

You know, goal-orientated lifestyles. Being pushed hard to become doctors, laywers, business owners, national politicians, etc.

I think these parents are vile, but knowing CE, and their ruthless right-wing ethics, they probably think these parents are inspired.

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Probably going to be me in the future
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MeIon Bread posted...

You know, goal-orientated lifestyles. Being pushed hard to become doctors, laywers, business owners, national politicians, etc.

The former, yes, that will be me 100%. The latter, lol no. They can be what they want to be. As long as they have a plan.
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MeIon Bread posted...

You know, goal-orientated lifestyles. Being pushed hard to become doctors, laywers, business owners, national politicians, etc.

I think these parents are vile, but knowing CE, and their ruthless right-wing ethics, they probably think these parents are inspired.

I kinda wish my parents would have given more responsibilities growing up. Adult life hit me like a ton of bricks, so it woulda been nice to be a bit more prepared.

I'm married now. We have our own home and a 3 year old boy, with baby number 2 on the way, so I've managed to do okay. We want to give our children responsibilities and teach them to be productive.
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"Productive".

Oh man. Society's obsession with productivity, at the expense of happiness is amazing. Although you seem like a fairly well-adjusted person.

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i think you have to strike a balance between pushing your kids to prepare them for adult life & letting them enjoy their childhood
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Authoritative vs authoritarian parenting. One is recommended over the other. Authoritarian parenting can have some disastrous consequences later on in life.
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People don't realize it's not one or the other.

Both driven to extremes could work. And it could cause your child to go crazy/not be prepared.

A balance is needed. And even with a balance...children are wild cards. You could do everything right and still end up with a loser child. You could do everything wrong and end up with a genius who will innovate the world.
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RedWhiteBlue posted...

Help your kids find a purpose. Take them out to do new things. Help them learn to network and push them to explore their hobbies more at like 9-13ish when they pretty much are at their hobby development prime.

I took this to be what TC was talking about
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Trying to get them towards a certain career when they're like 5 seems kinda fucked
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Highwind07 posted...

In some cases those kids grow up to be academically successful but maybe not so much socially and also may suffer some serious cases of low self esteem.

Also in some cases they burn out early and just collapse in on themselves.
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Goldice posted...

People don't realize it's not one or the other.

Both driven to extremes could work. And it could cause your child to go crazy/not be prepared.

A balance is needed. And even with a balance...children are wild cards. You could do everything right and still end up with a loser child. You could do everything wrong and end up with a genius who will innovate the world.

Sure, but the goal is to provide a nurturing, encouraging environment with appropriate rules and discipline for your kids. Yeah some children can live in neglectful households and become better for it, but thats the exception and not the rule.

There are 4 types of parenting: authoratative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful. Really only one of those is recommended by the AAP and for good reason.
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I didn't know parenting was divided into 4 groups. What's wrong with permissive? I take it that's one of the "bad" ones?
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MeIon Bread posted...

I didn't know parenting was divided into 4 groups. What's wrong with permissive? I take it that's one of the "bad" ones?

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/117/6/2047.figures-only

Theres a little table under the figures tab
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MeIon Bread posted...

"Productive".

By preductive, I mean actually doing something. Not still living at home with us when they are 35. Just setting on the couch playing video games, watching netflix or posting on CE. If that's all they aspire to do, then what happens when mommy and daddy are gone?

What they do, doesn't matter. I mean, I wouldn't be ecstatic if their chosen profession was assassin or prostitute, but you get the picture.
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Dyinglegacy posted...

MeIon Bread posted...

"Productive".

By preductive, I mean actually doing something. Not still living at home with us when they are 35. Just setting on the couch playing video games, watching netflix or posting on CE.

What they do, doesn't matter. I mean, I wouldn't be ecstatic if their chosen profession was assassin or prostitute, but you get the picture.

This topic was civil until that posting. :( Good going.

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MeIon Bread posted...

Dyinglegacy posted...

MeIon Bread posted...

"Productive".

By preductive, I mean actually doing something. Not still living at home with us when they are 35. Just setting on the couch playing video games, watching netflix or posting on CE.

What they do, doesn't matter. I mean, I wouldn't be ecstatic if their chosen profession was assassin or prostitute, but you get the picture.

This topic was civil until that posting. :( Good going.

Uhh, huh? I felt that my post was reasonable and explained what I meant with my use of the word productive. What did you read into it?
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Living with them at 35, playing video games, etc.

Come on. That wasn't very subtle. Although I am very unproductive, a failure. :O

Have you ever seen those "power" families, where everybody over a certain age is really successful, makes loads of money, and you're excommunicated from the family if you're "not good enough"? Think like the Kennedy family. Just sad.

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MeIon Bread posted...

"Productive".

Oh man. Society's obsession with productivity, at the expense of happiness is amazing. Although you seem like a fairly well-adjusted person.

You never come across as happy when you post here
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There's apparently a word for it: tiger parenting, just a fancy word for authoritarian parenting. I highly disapprove of that style of parenting as children are not allowed to be individuals and are essentially a continuation of their parents' dynasty.

I prefer authoritative parenting meaning I desire only two things from my children: that they are well-behaved and that they do well enough in school and later their career to be able to achieve self-sufficiency. As long as they can meet those expectations, I won't be standing over their shoulders every minute of the day preventing them from pursuing their own interests even if I feel it's a waste of time.
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authoritative parents have self esteem issues
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MeIon Bread posted...

Living with them at 35, playing video games, etc.

Come on. That wasn't very subtle. Although I am very unproductive, a failure. :O

Have you ever seen those "power" families, where everybody over a certain age is really successful, makes loads of money, and you're excommunicated from the family if you're "not good enough"? Think like the Kennedy family. Just sad.

I have no idea who you are, and my post was in no way meant to make light of your situation. I was merely stating what we don't want for our children.
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I will disown my kids if they aren't ivy league like me

I now understand where parents come from where they push the kids to get jobs that are guaranteed pay of at least $100,000. They see how hard it is in the real world and its a struggle. Thing is that parents should explain that to the kids while they are growing up so they understand the reason why and maybe theyll enjoy the career more and thank the parents for pushing them so hard.
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Why are you not a doctor yet?

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My parents were disappointed in me for making a 94 on an exam.
Yeah they pushed me alright.
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my parents didn't have high expectations. just graduate high school and succeed for the most part.
i guess i'm financially fine for now which is a plus was worried yesterday :(.

still have to take care of a dog (she's very valuable as a companion).
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kingdrake2 posted...

my parents didn't have high expectations. just graduate high school and succeed for the most part.
i guess i'm financially fine for now which is a plus was worried yesterday :(.

still have to take care of a dog (she's very valuable as a companion).

Graduating high school in the modern world is pretty much no expectations at all

I remember a while ago in the news, posted on CE, there was that Asian boy, about 10, who got a B in some exam, and his father drove him out to some remote mall, and just left him there.

I don't think the police was happy.

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