Current Events > Who would win, one billion silver back gorillas, or a sentient apache helicopter

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NeuralLaxative
10/11/18 2:18:15 PM
#1:


Who would win, one billion silver back gorillas or a sentient apache helicopter with arms - Results (19 votes)
One billion silver back gorillas
57.89% (11 votes)
11
A sentient apache helicopter with arms
42.11% (8 votes)
8
Helicopter included for reference

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Vicious_Dios
10/11/18 2:18:57 PM
#2:


Dat first pic.
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Middle hope
10/11/18 2:19:22 PM
#3:


Is it a real chopper or just someone who identifies as one?

Does it have unlimited ammo and fuel?
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vocedelmorte
10/11/18 2:20:02 PM
#4:


Flying >>> ground
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Bloodychess
10/11/18 2:20:16 PM
#5:


Possible nsfw image.

At the very least, have fun explaining that one if someone in IT hates you enough to make it an issue.
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ThePrinceFish
10/11/18 2:23:05 PM
#6:


I was going to say that the gorillas could use Soviet manpower tactics and throw gorillas at the chopper and wear it down until it ran out of ammunition. But if it his two giant jacked arms coming out of it, those gorillas are toast.
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MeIon Bread
10/11/18 2:23:54 PM
#7:


The monkeys, because the helicopter would run out of ammo after killing a few hundred. Then the other hundreds of thousands of gorillas would destroy the helicopter.
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spanky1
10/11/18 2:24:41 PM
#8:


One billion is a lot. I'm assuming the helicopter has limited fuel and ammo, so I voted for the monkeys.
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Spidey5
10/11/18 2:26:25 PM
#9:


Is the helicopter doing the monkey dance with those buff arms?
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ThyCorndog
10/11/18 2:29:13 PM
#10:


it only takes 1 gorilla to take down the helicopter. it's only a matter of leaping high enough to take it down. since a helicopter has an upper limit on how high it can go up due to atmosphere thinning, eventually the mound of gorilla corpses will be so high (1 billion gorillas is a lot) that a gorilla will be able to leap up and bring down the helicopter
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MrPeppers
10/11/18 2:30:29 PM
#11:


1. Are the gorillas pissed?

2. How much can the Apache chopper bench?
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#12
Post #12 was unavailable or deleted.
philsov
10/11/18 2:34:58 PM
#13:


fuel and ammo are going to be a bitch, but I can assume the arms of the apache give it the ability to steal/refuel/reload/self maintain so it'd eventually win, even if the 1b original gorillas all died off and it had to kill their grandchildren.

Even the monkeys need food and water, and have finite lifespans.
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ThyCorndog
10/11/18 2:40:26 PM
#14:


philsov posted...
Even the monkeys need food and water, and have finite lifespans.

not if they're pissed

MrPeppers posted...
1. Are the gorillas pissed?

this is important
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Orthopox12
10/11/18 2:47:26 PM
#15:


I think the Apache would make a mistake before it could dispatch that many stinky apes.
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NeuralLaxative
10/11/18 2:51:53 PM
#16:


1. Gorillas are definitely pissed. Their dicks are all out for harambe

2. The helicopters name is Chad, he is an alpha of the highest caliber. Like any chad, he can bench at least twice his weight. Hes constantly playing Fortunate Son from a loud speaker despite being born in the 1% of helicopters
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ThePrinceFish
10/11/18 2:54:17 PM
#17:


NeuralLaxative posted...
Like any chad, he can bench at least twice his weight.

oh fuck

an apache's typical loaded weight at takeoff is over 17,000 lbs and those arms look like they are a pretty hefty addition.

Chad isn't fucking around.
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ThyCorndog
10/11/18 2:58:18 PM
#18:


adult male silverback gorillas weigh anywhere from 300 to 430lb
let's average it to 365

we're looking at 365 billion pounds of gorilla
if chad apache can lift twice his weight (34k), he can only lift approximately 0.0000093% of the gorillas at once, which is only about 93 gorillas

sorry chad apache, but I think the gorillas got this one
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Orthopox12
10/11/18 3:00:20 PM
#19:


NeuralLaxative posted...
1. Gorillas are definitely pissed. Their dicks are all out for harambe

2. The helicopters name is Chad, he is an alpha of the highest caliber. Like any chad, he can bench at least twice his weight. Hes constantly playing Fortunate Son from a loud speaker despite being born in the 1% of helicopters

Oh shit
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philsov
10/11/18 3:21:08 PM
#20:


ThyCorndog posted...
adult male silverback gorillas weigh anywhere from 300 to 430lb
let's average it to 365

we're looking at 365 billion pounds of gorilla
if chad apache can lift twice his weight (34k), he can only lift approximately 0.0000093% of the gorillas at once, which is only about 93 gorillas

sorry chad apache, but I think the gorillas got this one


But the lifting motion here is that of a deadlift, not a bench press. Assuming human strength rations, Chad can pick up closer to 150 (if not more) gorillas by mass, although it'll be like the dude who can't hold all those limes.

So... pick 'em up, ascend, drop. Let gravity or thin air do the rest. After about 7 million trips, the gorillas will have lost. Ammo schammo.
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voldothegr8
10/11/18 3:23:06 PM
#21:


Does the helicopter get unlimited fuel and ammo? If so, helicopter. If not, gorillas.
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NeuralLaxative
10/11/18 5:03:17 PM
#22:


Chad doesnt get unlimited fuel or ammo but does have large arms perfect for refueling on the go and could likely out distance the silver backs for enough time to do it
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Paragon21XX
10/11/18 5:09:42 PM
#23:


NeuralLaxative posted...
1. Gorillas are definitely pissed. Their dicks are all out for harambe

Where? I don't see their dicks out...

*gets out magnifying glass*

Oh...you're right. It was difficult to see it when their dicks are typically less than 2 inches erect.
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ThyCorndog
10/11/18 5:30:45 PM
#24:


Paragon21XX posted...
NeuralLaxative posted...
1. Gorillas are definitely pissed. Their dicks are all out for harambe

Where? I don't see their dicks out...

*gets out magnifying glass*

Oh...you're right. It was difficult to see it when their dicks are typically less than 2 inches erect.

even then, they're still packing 2 billion inches of gorilla dick
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glitteringfairy
10/11/18 5:32:57 PM
#25:


NeuralLaxative posted...
Chad doesnt get unlimited fuel or ammo but does have large arms perfect for refueling on the go and could likely out distance the silver backs for enough time to do it

Does the helicopter have infinite refueling and reloading resources?
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Hexenherz
10/11/18 5:33:24 PM
#26:


The gorillas would win, because one billion gorillas is a ton of gorillas and sentient or not the helicopter's going to run out of munitions and fuel.

I'm curious now if there's even enough ammunition in the world to kill one billion of anything.
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Fossil
10/11/18 5:42:45 PM
#27:


If we are being honest for one second with an Apache that actually had arms (lol), it would win for effectively being able to reload its own ammunition and refueling. It would be a bit tricky, but it would be possible. Not to mention gorillas can't go everywhere an Apache could go, so it could easily outpace them or land somewhere out of their reach to reload.

It also hasn't been mentioned which is ok because I wouldn't expect anyone to really know, but the Echo model Apache has the ability to control UAV's. With that in mind, an Apache with access to UAV's would clear the gorillas a lot faster. Just land the Apache on top of a straight drop cliff with no chance for a gorilla to climb and you don't even need it to fly. It could just sit there all day.

Also, the gorillas would eventually starve and die. Pilots could stash quite a bit of food in the storage compartments of an Apache.

So, Apache > gorillas
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ThyCorndog
10/11/18 5:43:56 PM
#28:


the gorillas can form a giant gorilla pyramid and reach the apache
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Orthopox12
10/11/18 5:44:57 PM
#29:


Why dont we throw in an M1A2 Abrams that is a total Brad abd has arms.
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Space_Man
10/11/18 5:46:52 PM
#30:


How smart are the gorillas?

How much prep time does the apache get?
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NeuralLaxative
10/11/18 5:54:23 PM
#31:


Orthopox12 posted...
Why dont we throw in an M1A2 Abrams that is a total Brad abd has arms.


Broh! Broh! Do u even lift?!
Y5KsVWS
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Orthopox12
10/11/18 6:32:55 PM
#32:


NeuralLaxative posted...
Orthopox12 posted...
Why dont we throw in an M1A2 Abrams that is a total Brad abd has arms.


Broh! Broh! Do u even lift?!
Y5KsVWS

Now who would win?
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LethalAffinity
10/11/18 6:39:04 PM
#33:


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NeuralLaxative
10/11/18 8:53:45 PM
#34:


LethalAffinity posted...
Ten trillion lions


Male or female lions? Are they pissed?
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Orthopox12
10/11/18 9:47:13 PM
#35:


NeuralLaxative posted...
LethalAffinity posted...
Ten trillion lions


Male or female lions? Are they pissed?

Female in heat
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nemu
10/11/18 9:50:35 PM
#36:


Assuming it has a way to refuel and restock and it is not limited by lifespan, I'm sure there is enough ammo on earth to take care of them over a few thousand years.
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voldothegr8
10/11/18 10:25:45 PM
#37:


nemu posted...
Assuming it has a way to refuel and restock and it is not limited by lifespan, I'm sure there is enough ammo on earth to take care of them over a few thousand years.

It could probably get done in 10 years or less given that when not reloading/refilling it's killing.
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nemu
10/11/18 10:34:28 PM
#38:


voldothegr8 posted...
nemu posted...
Assuming it has a way to refuel and restock and it is not limited by lifespan, I'm sure there is enough ammo on earth to take care of them over a few thousand years.

It could probably get done in 10 years or less given that when not reloading/refilling it's killing.

It would probably depend where this is taking place and how far to safety. It may have to really balance its killing if it needs to travel dozens or hundreds of miles to get what it needs. Then it will probably need to leave for a time to gather supplies from other countries as it clears out military bases. If it has access to just billions of bullets nearby, then yes, it can just constantly slaughter, refill, slaughter, repeat.
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NeuralLaxative
10/12/18 12:40:34 AM
#39:


Orthopox12 posted...
NeuralLaxative posted...
LethalAffinity posted...
Ten trillion lions


Male or female lions? Are they pissed?

Female in heat


Lions solo
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