Current Events > Liberals have coined a new term called "Toxic Monogamy"

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DarkChozoGhost
10/16/18 10:07:07 AM
#51:


I understand disliking the term "toxic monogamy," but all but maybe two bullet points on that list are 100% correct.
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Unbreakable
10/16/18 10:10:10 AM
#52:


YUHH posted...
im pretty sure milkman is actually into cuckoldry with how much he froths at the mouth about it

sorta like the preachers who are secretly gay

Yeah, I thought that was obvious
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#53
Post #53 was unavailable or deleted.
Rexdragon125
10/16/18 11:23:56 AM
#54:


This is like the time I saw a SJW unironically crusading about biological sexual preferences because they were sexist
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AlephZero
10/16/18 11:24:28 AM
#55:


cuckoldry is the thinking man's fetish
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thanosibe
10/16/18 11:33:04 AM
#56:


thelovefist posted...
Conflict posted...
Most of that list is incredibly stupid but a few make sense

It is too bad that the good points on that list will become conflated with the moronic points.
I have the weekend off and the kids are going their grandpa's as my wife and I are going to celebrate 19 years married. All that list is moronic because it's just points that even married people that love each other try not to do or practice. It's sounds like a list some mad millenial made because they seem to hate marriage, and think all marriage is bad instead of just not being for marriage themselves.

And the opposite goes true with people that are for marriage. I don't give two fucks if my boys never get married but find a woman and stay with her if they love each other.

The toxicity of all this either or bullshit when it comes to relationships is starting to get sick. People are so ate up with hate and jealousy that they have to turn to trying to make everyone else as miserable and unhappy as they are.
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King_Hellebuyck
10/16/18 11:35:28 AM
#57:


I didnt expect such a well defined list when I clicked on this but the image in the OP was surprisingly informative and agreeable.
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spudger
10/16/18 11:37:23 AM
#58:


Tmaster148 posted...
I'm going to guess 1 person said it and that 1 person has now triggered you.

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Anteaterking
10/16/18 11:54:47 AM
#59:


thanosibe posted...
All that list is moronic because it's just points that even married people that love each other try not to do or practice. It's sounds like a list some mad millenial made because they seem to hate marriage, and think all marriage is bad instead of just not being for marriage themselves.


I don't think the list itself supports your argument.
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thanosibe
10/16/18 12:20:53 PM
#60:


Anteaterking posted...
thanosibe posted...
All that list is moronic because it's just points that even married people that love each other try not to do or practice. It's sounds like a list some mad millenial made because they seem to hate marriage, and think all marriage is bad instead of just not being for marriage themselves.


I don't think the list itself supports your argument.
Ok, so what about it don't you think does?

I don't think "X exists in marriage" is a good argument to the validity of marriage as a practice. Does still birth or miscarriages erase the value people hold to procreation? That's why I said I think this list is just someone going out of their way to devalue marriage. Not someone looking to point negatives that can happen in marriage to make it a better arrangement in of itself.
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GameboyTroy
10/16/18 12:21:19 PM
#61:


SageHarpuiaHX posted...
Realtalk though, why the fuck would you get married if you were still going to fuck other people?

Being married is supposed to be an exclusive thing.
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Anteaterking
10/16/18 1:34:15 PM
#62:


thanosibe posted...
Ok, so what about it don't you think does?

I don't think "X exists in marriage" is a good argument to the validity of marriage as a practice. Does still birth or miscarriages erase the value people hold to procreation? That's why I said I think this list is just someone going out of their way to devalue marriage. Not someone looking to point negatives that can happen in marriage to make it a better arrangement in of itself.


I just don't know why you're reading this list as "someone who's not married bashing people who are".

Like "Jealousy is good because it means love" is something that fills abusive marriages. You can be married and say that's bad. It's not just a belief propagated by married people either; e.g. Hallmark movies propagate them as well as other media.

There are plenty of married couples who think that the idea that children are the end goal of marriage is ridiculous. Is it any more ridiculous to think that the only end goal of a relationship is marriage?

I just don't see the bitter unmarried aspect of this that you do. I think you are somehow feeling attacked by this, but it doesn't say marriage is bad.
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thanosibe
10/16/18 3:11:30 PM
#63:


Anteaterking posted...
thanosibe posted...
Ok, so what about it don't you think does?

I don't think "X exists in marriage" is a good argument to the validity of marriage as a practice. Does still birth or miscarriages erase the value people hold to procreation? That's why I said I think this list is just someone going out of their way to devalue marriage. Not someone looking to point negatives that can happen in marriage to make it a better arrangement in of itself.


I just don't know why you're reading this list as "someone who's not married bashing people who are".

Like "Jealousy is good because it means love" is something that fills abusive marriages. You can be married and say that's bad. It's not just a belief propagated by married people either; e.g. Hallmark movies propagate them as well as other media.

There are plenty of married couples who think that the idea that children are the end goal of marriage is ridiculous. Is it any more ridiculous to think that the only end goal of a relationship is marriage?

I just don't see the bitter unmarried aspect of this that you do. I think you are somehow feeling attacked by this, but it doesn't say marriage is bad.
Maybe I am getting influenced by the overall bitter attitude this forum seems to have towards marriage/relationships rather than being able to single out the post in the OP singularly. And that some context around the post in the OP might shed light on the poster's intent in posting this.

"The idea of commitment is synonymous with exclusivity" seems to be the one that's most blatantly mean spirited. The whole idea of marriage is to be exclusive to someone. That's the definition of monogamy. Now I am not going to argue whether monogamy works for everyone, but from discussions on this board and elsewhere open relationships where no one is exclusive, and it works for all parties involved are very rare. A track record like that seems to speak to the opposite of what the poster in the OP is claiming.

"The idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chuck of how you value yourself" Again, how I estimate my worth as a husband or even a father is mine to choose. There is nothing inherit about valuing yourself based on what you can do for others. No one should tell anyone how to estimate their value as a person. And if I do equate myself based on what I offer as a husband and father, and I am happy with that, then it is not an inherently bad idea.

There's too many absolutes in the way the post is presented which is what makes me instinctually think discussion is not what the poster is after. But without context I can not say for sure.
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_Goggalor_
10/16/18 3:14:38 PM
#64:


VipaGTS posted...
Milkman5 posted...
why do a lot of liberal journalists waste their time writing hate articles on Friends

why do you spend so much of your time trolling about Liberals on CE? The only difference between you and them is they actually have accomplished something, whether you agree with them or not, while the most you've accomplished is getting this response from me...


Why do you troll about conservatives? It goes both ways.
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YUHH
10/16/18 3:15:08 PM
#65:


_Goggalor_ posted...
VipaGTS posted...
Milkman5 posted...
why do a lot of liberal journalists waste their time writing hate articles on Friends

why do you spend so much of your time trolling about Liberals on CE? The only difference between you and them is they actually have accomplished something, whether you agree with them or not, while the most you've accomplished is getting this response from me...


Why do you troll about conservatives? It goes both ways.

Why do you beat your mom and think you have any modicum of writing talent?
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DarkTransient
10/16/18 3:15:29 PM
#66:


RebelElite791 posted...
Uhh, I mean take issue with the name if youd like but nothing about that list in the pic is wrong (except maybe the part about exclusivity depending on the couple)


Holy shit. It's a rare day when I agree with RebelElite on something.
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_Goggalor_
10/16/18 3:16:28 PM
#67:


YUHH posted...
_Goggalor_ posted...
VipaGTS posted...
Milkman5 posted...
why do a lot of liberal journalists waste their time writing hate articles on Friends

why do you spend so much of your time trolling about Liberals on CE? The only difference between you and them is they actually have accomplished something, whether you agree with them or not, while the most you've accomplished is getting this response from me...


Why do you troll about conservatives? It goes both ways.

Why do you beat your mom and think you have any modicum of writing talent?


Shut your fucking mouth. Jesus fucking christ, what are you, 10?
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YUHH
10/16/18 3:17:17 PM
#68:


_Goggalor_ posted...
YUHH posted...
_Goggalor_ posted...
VipaGTS posted...
Milkman5 posted...
why do a lot of liberal journalists waste their time writing hate articles on Friends

why do you spend so much of your time trolling about Liberals on CE? The only difference between you and them is they actually have accomplished something, whether you agree with them or not, while the most you've accomplished is getting this response from me...


Why do you troll about conservatives? It goes both ways.

Why do you beat your mom and think you have any modicum of writing talent?


Shut your fucking mouth. Jesus fucking christ, what are you, 10?

Older than you actually but that's irrelevant to my question.
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philsov
10/16/18 3:18:08 PM
#69:


OP on most nights:
https://xkcd.com/2051/
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SaithSayer
10/16/18 3:19:31 PM
#70:


_Goggalor_ posted...
YUHH posted...
_Goggalor_ posted...
VipaGTS posted...
Milkman5 posted...
why do a lot of liberal journalists waste their time writing hate articles on Friends

why do you spend so much of your time trolling about Liberals on CE? The only difference between you and them is they actually have accomplished something, whether you agree with them or not, while the most you've accomplished is getting this response from me...


Why do you troll about conservatives? It goes both ways.

Why do you beat your mom and think you have any modicum of writing talent?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FV1rDoJa6M" data-time="
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_Goggalor_
10/16/18 3:20:18 PM
#71:


YUHH posted...
_Goggalor_ posted...
YUHH posted...
_Goggalor_ posted...
VipaGTS posted...
Milkman5 posted...
why do a lot of liberal journalists waste their time writing hate articles on Friends

why do you spend so much of your time trolling about Liberals on CE? The only difference between you and them is they actually have accomplished something, whether you agree with them or not, while the most you've accomplished is getting this response from me...


Why do you troll about conservatives? It goes both ways.

Why do you beat your mom and think you have any modicum of writing talent?


Shut your fucking mouth. Jesus fucking christ, what are you, 10?

Older than you actually but that's irrelevant to my question.


You're a real piece of garbage. Seriously.
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YUHH
10/16/18 3:20:42 PM
#72:


_Goggalor_ posted...
YUHH posted...
_Goggalor_ posted...
YUHH posted...
_Goggalor_ posted...
VipaGTS posted...
Milkman5 posted...
why do a lot of liberal journalists waste their time writing hate articles on Friends

why do you spend so much of your time trolling about Liberals on CE? The only difference between you and them is they actually have accomplished something, whether you agree with them or not, while the most you've accomplished is getting this response from me...


Why do you troll about conservatives? It goes both ways.

Why do you beat your mom and think you have any modicum of writing talent?


Shut your fucking mouth. Jesus fucking christ, what are you, 10?

Older than you actually but that's irrelevant to my question.


You're a real piece of garbage. Seriously.

At least I don't beat my own mom.
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Mr_Biscuit
10/16/18 3:21:25 PM
#73:


Stupid name but reasonable list of bad assumptions about love
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KaiserDragoon67
10/16/18 3:28:34 PM
#74:


It comes off as cucks trying to feel better about themselves.
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YUHH
10/16/18 4:29:06 PM
#75:


YUHH posted...
_Goggalor_ posted...
You're a real piece of garbage. Seriously.

At least I don't beat my own mom.

If I only knew posting this would trigger a giant meltdown
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#76
Post #76 was unavailable or deleted.
Unbreakable
10/16/18 4:31:05 PM
#77:


Hairistotle posted...
you are notorious for posting things that have little traction and attributing them to "liberals" so forgive my doubt

Milkman posts about his fetish an awful lot
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KYOJIROKAGENUMA
10/16/18 5:09:38 PM
#78:


DeadSite posted...
Monogamy is toxic tho


/thread
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scar the 1
10/16/18 5:14:13 PM
#79:


Hey, congrats on your internship. I remember you were really worried about getting a job and how you couldn't find one. Where did you end up finding this one?
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Anteaterking
10/16/18 5:25:55 PM
#80:


thanosibe posted...
"The idea of commitment is synonymous with exclusivity" seems to be the one that's most blatantly mean spirited. The whole idea of marriage is to be exclusive to someone. That's the definition of monogamy. Now I am not going to argue whether monogamy works for everyone, but from discussions on this board and elsewhere open relationships where no one is exclusive, and it works for all parties involved are very rare. A track record like that seems to speak to the opposite of what the poster in the OP is claiming.


I don't think they're saying monogamy shouldn't be that way, they're saying that monogamous relationships aren't the only kind, and similarly that you can be committed to something without it being the ONLY thing you're committed to. That being said, I think this is the weakest of their points as that has more to do with monogamy being most prevalent.

thanosibe posted...
"The idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chuck of how you value yourself" Again, how I estimate my worth as a husband or even a father is mine to choose. There is nothing inherit about valuing yourself based on what you can do for others. No one should tell anyone how to estimate their value as a person. And if I do equate myself based on what I offer as a husband and father, and I am happy with that, then it is not an inherently bad idea.


Again, I think you're misreading this. It's not "Your value to a partner shouldn't be a large chunk of how you value yourself". It's what you said: No one should tell anyone how to estimate their value of a person. But frequently people impose the idea on married couples that their value only comes from their relationship.

That's where I think your disagreement is coming from. You are viewing all of these as "Anyone who believes this for their own relationship is bad", when most of them are "This isn't the only way to frame relationships and it's wrong to impose that framing on others." And it would be a lie to say that the prevalent world view is that people who view their own relationship that way are bad.
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EnragedSlith
10/16/18 5:39:47 PM
#81:


Monogamy is the foundation of marriage and our society. Theres a reason it was pushed so heavily in ancient religious texts.

I dont think theres anything inherently toxic about monogamy, and Im not really into the idea of sharing yourself emotionally and physically with multiple people concurrently. But those expectations of monogamy and commitment and what that entails can lead to toxic feelings and situations. I think it depends on the context of the relationship and who youre sharing one with. Monogamy becomes far more important when youre trying to maintain a home. It is essential to raising a family. And, I think its usually essential to maintaining a relationship in general, because once youve decided to be established, feeling out other connections can undermine whatever youre trying to build. Youre always going to be drawn towards other people, and there are people who youre going to feel a stronger pull toward than your current partner. But is that worth tearing down what youve built with someone? I dont know the numbers, but I wonder how many cheaters regret losing the stability they took for granted. Theres a quote I like that says the grass is greenest where you water it.
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dave_is_slick
10/16/18 6:10:46 PM
#82:


Anteaterking posted...
thanosibe posted...
"The idea of commitment is synonymous with exclusivity" seems to be the one that's most blatantly mean spirited. The whole idea of marriage is to be exclusive to someone. That's the definition of monogamy. Now I am not going to argue whether monogamy works for everyone, but from discussions on this board and elsewhere open relationships where no one is exclusive, and it works for all parties involved are very rare. A track record like that seems to speak to the opposite of what the poster in the OP is claiming.


I don't think they're saying monogamy shouldn't be that way, they're saying that monogamous relationships aren't the only kind, and similarly that you can be committed to something without it being the ONLY thing you're committed to. That being said, I think this is the weakest of their points as that has more to do with monogamy being most prevalent.

thanosibe posted...
"The idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chuck of how you value yourself" Again, how I estimate my worth as a husband or even a father is mine to choose. There is nothing inherit about valuing yourself based on what you can do for others. No one should tell anyone how to estimate their value as a person. And if I do equate myself based on what I offer as a husband and father, and I am happy with that, then it is not an inherently bad idea.


Again, I think you're misreading this. It's not "Your value to a partner shouldn't be a large chunk of how you value yourself". It's what you said: No one should tell anyone how to estimate their value of a person. But frequently people impose the idea on married couples that their value only comes from their relationship.

That's where I think your disagreement is coming from. You are viewing all of these as "Anyone who believes this for their own relationship is bad", when most of them are "This isn't the only way to frame relationships and it's wrong to impose that framing on others." And it would be a lie to say that the prevalent world view is that people who view their own relationship that way are bad.

Any time you have to go "what they really meant" means that it most likely was the original interpretation.
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Anteaterking
10/16/18 6:21:22 PM
#83:


dave_is_slick posted...
Any time you have to go "what they really meant" means that it most likely was the original interpretation.


I'm not adding subtext to it, I'm reading exactly what it says. Thanosibe is adding the subtext of "Therefore they must hate married people!"
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Milkman5
10/16/18 8:12:19 PM
#84:


scar the 1 posted...
Hey, congrats on your internship. I remember you were really worried about getting a job and how you couldn't find one. Where did you end up finding this one?


dont congratulate me
its a QA internship
:(
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pres_madagascar
10/16/18 8:15:49 PM
#85:


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Blue_Dream87
10/16/18 8:36:39 PM
#86:


At this point I think anything with "toxic" in it's name triggers certain subsets that can't think critically. Legit concepts like this and toxic masculinity/femininity seem to fly over too many heads
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YUHH
10/16/18 8:38:25 PM
#87:


Blue_Dream87 posted...
At this point I think anything with "toxic" in it's name triggers certain subsets that can't think critically. Legit concepts like this and toxic masculinity/femininity seem to fly over too many heads

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0090190/?_encoding=UTF8&ref_=amzn_dp_dvd
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Blue_Dream87
10/16/18 8:43:54 PM
#88:


YUHH posted...
Blue_Dream87 posted...
At this point I think anything with "toxic" in it's name triggers certain subsets that can't think critically. Legit concepts like this and toxic masculinity/femininity seem to fly over too many heads

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0090190/?_encoding=UTF8&ref_=amzn_dp_dvd


Don't ever post this on /pol/ or the entire internet will turn into Chernobyl
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CornBarn
10/16/18 8:44:40 PM
#89:


commitment does mean exclusivity.

if you are not willing to be exclusive, you are not willing to commit to that person.
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Unbreakable
10/16/18 8:45:14 PM
#90:


Blue_Dream87 posted...
At this point I think anything with "toxic" in it's name triggers certain subsets that can't think critically. Legit concepts like this and toxic masculinity/femininity seem to fly over too many heads

What about Milkmans toxic involuntary celibacy?
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Blue_Dream87
10/16/18 8:46:05 PM
#91:


CornBarn posted...
commitment does mean exclusivity.

if you are not willing to be exclusive, you are not willing to commit to that person.


So parents can only commit to one child?
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CornBarn
10/16/18 8:46:52 PM
#92:


Blue_Dream87 posted...
CornBarn posted...
commitment does mean exclusivity.

if you are not willing to be exclusive, you are not willing to commit to that person.


So parents can only commit to one child?


what? we're talking about the couple here. not parents and children.
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averagejoel
10/16/18 8:47:08 PM
#93:


CornBarn posted...
commitment does mean exclusivity.

if you are not willing to be exclusive, you are not willing to commit to that person.

in general, commitment does not mean exclusivity. having outside commitments does not mean you aren't committed to whatever it is that you're doing at the time.

likewise, it is possible to be in a committed romantic relationship with more than one person
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Blue_Dream87
10/16/18 8:49:08 PM
#94:


CornBarn posted...
Blue_Dream87 posted...
CornBarn posted...
commitment does mean exclusivity.

if you are not willing to be exclusive, you are not willing to commit to that person.


So parents can only commit to one child?


what? we're talking about the couple here. not parents and children.


So we change the definition outside monogamy?
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CornBarn
10/16/18 8:49:10 PM
#95:


averagejoel posted...
it is possible to be in a committed romantic relationship with more than one person


that'd be extremely rare. not at all the norm or what most people want in a marriage. at that point there is no reason to marry any specific person.
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CornBarn
10/16/18 8:49:54 PM
#96:


Blue_Dream87 posted...
CornBarn posted...
Blue_Dream87 posted...
CornBarn posted...
commitment does mean exclusivity.

if you are not willing to be exclusive, you are not willing to commit to that person.


So parents can only commit to one child?


what? we're talking about the couple here. not parents and children.


So we change the definition outside monogamy?


definitely. no one talks ahout "exclusivity" in marriage vis a vis parents and children.
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Blue_Dream87
10/16/18 8:50:43 PM
#97:


I think we have totally different ideas of what commitment means.
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CornBarn
10/16/18 8:51:32 PM
#98:


Blue_Dream87 posted...
I think we have totally different ideas of what commitment means.


good luck getting any respectable partner to think the way you do.

no seriously, good luck
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Blue_Dream87
10/16/18 8:52:14 PM
#99:


CornBarn posted...
Blue_Dream87 posted...
I think we have totally different ideas of what commitment means.


good luck getting any respectable partner to think the way you do.

no seriously, good luck


I've been in a healthy poly relationship, so...
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CornBarn
10/16/18 8:54:57 PM
#100:


Blue_Dream87 posted...
CornBarn posted...
Blue_Dream87 posted...
I think we have totally different ideas of what commitment means.


good luck getting any respectable partner to think the way you do.

no seriously, good luck


I've been in a healthy poly relationship, so...


haha yeah ok
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