Current Events > $1700 a month for 3 days of daycare per week.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Questionmarktarius posted...

EvalAngell posted...

AlisLandale posted...

I was being cheeky about the high school girl thing.

Private baby sitters exist. Have you looked for any? >_>

They cost just as much. Typically $15 - $20 an hour. We'd need them for 9 hours a day. You do the math. We've explored every option.

Grandmas exist.

Grandmas still gotta work. My mom and mother in law still have to make ends meet as well. They're only in their mid to late 50s. But thanks.
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One of you could stay at home and watch a third kid for profit. It's what my cousin does. Just throwing out ideas.
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Ranting Nord posted...

One of you could stay at home and watch a third kid for profit. It's what my cousin does. Just throwing out ideas.

That's actually really clever

This is why you don't have kids unless one of you is in a position to stay at home. Or unless you have parents who are retired and willing to babysit so the money can stay in the family.

Imagine having kids just to ship them off to daycare. And then expecting everyone else to subsidize your decision for you with their dollars.
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FLUFFYGERM posted...

This is why you don't have kids unless one of you is in a position to stay at home. Or unless you have parents who are retired and willing to babysit so the money can stay in the family.

Imagine having kids just to ship them off to daycare. And then expecting everyone else to subsidize your decision for you with their dollars.

Yes because my wife should give up her six figure salary to stay at home lol. Who is also in her early 30s...and would likely have to go through a ton of complications if she waited any longer.

Also, is it our fault that our parents are not retired yet? I'm glad that my mom and dad had me in their youth. Who the hell wants a 50 year old dad when they're graduating middle school?
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EvalAngell posted...

Yes because my wife should give up her six figure salary to stay at home lol. Who is also in her early 30s...and would likely have to go through a ton of complications if she waited any longer.

Who says your wife has to be the stay-at-home parent?

EvalAngell posted...

FLUFFYGERM posted...

This is why you don't have kids unless one of you is in a position to stay at home. Or unless you have parents who are retired and willing to babysit so the money can stay in the family.

Imagine having kids just to ship them off to daycare. And then expecting everyone else to subsidize your decision for you with their dollars.

Yes because my wife should give up her six figure salary to stay at home lol. Who is also in her early 30s...and would likely have to go through a ton of complications if she waited any longer.

Also, is it our fault that our parents are not retired yet? I'm glad that my mom and dad had me in their youth. Who the hell wants a 50 year old dad when they're graduating middle school?

Then quit your whining about the bill. Your wife makes six figures. The $20k you'll spend each year for daycare is nothing for two people who are well into the six figures combined.

You guys make that much because of your own choice and yet you want other people to subsidize you?
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EvalAngell posted...

FLUFFYGERM posted...

This is why you don't have kids unless one of you is in a position to stay at home. Or unless you have parents who are retired and willing to babysit so the money can stay in the family.

Imagine having kids just to ship them off to daycare. And then expecting everyone else to subsidize your decision for you with their dollars.

Yes because my wife should give up her six figure salary to stay at home lol. Who is also in her early 30s...and would likely have to go through a ton of complications if she waited any longer.

Also, is it our fault that our parents are not retired yet? I'm glad that my mom and dad had me in their youth. Who the hell wants a 50 year old dad when they're graduating middle school?

I mean, he's not wrong. You're clearly making a lot of money, enough to save a lot of money and live a cushy life if even one of you is making 6 figures, and it sounds like your job is no slacker on the income department either.

Despite this, you're getting whirlwinded about the prospect of the cost of childcare when you had 9 months of pregnancy to figure out the finances involved. And suggesting it would be great if everyone else subsidized it with tax payer money.

As soon as my wife was pregnant, I manned up and figured out how the hell this can work financially. We are making way less in the household than you, in a tougher economy and are not worrying about finances.

I would look at shrinking your own lifestyle to start. Separate wants from needs, and really consider what a "need" actually means.

I'm just throwing out ideas bro. Venting more than anything. Not begging people to give to my GoFundMe on Facebook or IG. It's also not whining. It's a real problem that I'd say 80% of families struggle with.

I also explain why I can't stay at home on the first page. My family needs my medical insurance. I get excellent coverage for a fraction of what it would cost my wife if we went under her company's policy.
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JustMyOpinion posted...

If your wife is making six figures and you said you're also making good money then how is $1.7k a month half of your money?

Alright more like a third.

Cars
House
Groceries/Baby Products
Utilities
Savings contribution

The money is gone quick man.
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Do you have a proper budget EvalAngell?

Do you know how much you spend on groceries a month?
How much on diapers?

EvalAngell posted...

Yes because my wife should give up her six figure salary to stay at home lol.

Yes? That or pay for some fucking daycare and stfu, you're making six figures, zero sympathy. Especially since you had the audacity to suggest making insurance pay for it.

Cry more, my sister is a fucking temp and still pays for daycare for her 5 kids.

t_paynes_ghost posted...

Do you have a proper budget EvalAngell?

Do you know how much you spend on groceries a month?
How much on diapers?

haha yes. Our disposable income is $1300 a month after everything.
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Thaddeus_J_Pibb posted...

EvalAngell posted...

Yes because my wife should give up her six figure salary to stay at home lol.

Yes? That or pay for some fucking daycare and stfu, you're making six figures, zero sympathy. Especially since you had the audacity to suggest making insurance pay for it.

Cry more, my sister is a fucking temp and still pays for daycare for her 5 kids.

cool man. good for her
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Also the fact you're still able to make savings contributions.

You're in a very good spot in life considering you have twins. You really don't have a leg to stand on and complain. You're quite a well-to-do family.

EvalAngell posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

Do you have a proper budget EvalAngell?

Do you know how much you spend on groceries a month?
How much on diapers?

haha yes. Our disposable income is $1300 a month after everything.

$1300 DISPOSABLE?

Jesus man, you have no problems. I mentioned well-to-do, but you are high end well-to-do.

I guess...still frustrating.
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lol the hell?

daycare say for toddlers for up to 48 hours a week is the equivalent of $400~ a month for one child over here and there's a 50% "discount" per child after that.
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t_paynes_ghost posted...

EvalAngell posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

Do you have a proper budget EvalAngell?

Do you know how much you spend on groceries a month?
How much on diapers?

haha yes. Our disposable income is $1300 a month after everything.

$1300 DISPOSABLE?

Jesus man, you have no problems. I mentioned well-to-do, but you are high end well-to-do.

That's really not that much.

Yeah even if it weren't for the whole thing where we want to be the primary influencers in Baby DevsBro's life, we really wouldn't be able to afford having Mrs. DevsBro work. Just using your example, by my estimates you'd have to do make around $18/hr just to break even. And even if you make over that, do you really want to work for $2-3/hr?

I can't imagine how single mothers ever make it to grade school age.
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EvalAngell posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

Do you have a proper budget EvalAngell?

Do you know how much you spend on groceries a month?
How much on diapers?

haha yes. Our disposable income is $1300 a month after everything.

Is that after savings?
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clearaflagrantj posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

EvalAngell posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

Do you have a proper budget EvalAngell?

Do you know how much you spend on groceries a month?
How much on diapers?

haha yes. Our disposable income is $1300 a month after everything.

$1300 DISPOSABLE?

Jesus man, you have no problems. I mentioned well-to-do, but you are high end well-to-do.

That's really not that much.

In the grand scheme of things that's true, especially assuming they make somewhere around 180k to 200k together as a couple but it's nothing to sneeze at assuming it's $1,300 a month after already contributing to his savings.
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emblem boy posted...

EvalAngell posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

Do you have a proper budget EvalAngell?

Do you know how much you spend on groceries a month?
How much on diapers?

haha yes. Our disposable income is $1300 a month after everything.

Is that after savings?

yes
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DevsBro posted...

Yeah even if it weren't for the whole thing where we want to be the primary influencers in Baby DevsBro's life, we really wouldn't be able to afford having Mrs. DevsBro work. Just using your example, by my estimates you'd have to do make around $18/hr just to break even. And even if you make over that, do you really want to work for $2-3/hr?

I can't imagine how single mothers ever make it to grade school age.

You do have to keep in mind the employment cost to the stay at home parent. A five year gap (long enough to get the kid into kindergarten) is practically a death sentence as far as ever getting a job goes.

Yeah, making practically no money for those first few years sucks, but never being able to get another job sucks harder.

DevsBro posted...

And even if you make over that, do you really want to work for $2-3/hr?

if you plan on returning to your career when the child is older, probably. missing out on a decade is hard to recover from, career wise
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_Rinku_ posted...

DevsBro posted...

Yeah even if it weren't for the whole thing where we want to be the primary influencers in Baby DevsBro's life, we really wouldn't be able to afford having Mrs. DevsBro work. Just using your example, by my estimates you'd have to do make around $18/hr just to break even. And even if you make over that, do you really want to work for $2-3/hr?

I can't imagine how single mothers ever make it to grade school age.

You do have to keep in mind the employment cost to the stay at home parent. A five year gap (long enough to get the kid into kindergarten) is practically a death sentence as far as ever getting a job goes.

Yeah, making practically no money for those first few years sucks, but never being able to get another job sucks harder.

True too. But ultimately what's more important to us is being the primary influencers.
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They say that babies in daycare develop better social skills than those who are cared for at home by family members.
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EvalAngell posted...

They say that babies in daycare develop better social skills than those who are cared for at home by family members.

[Citation Needed]

_Rinku_ posted...

EvalAngell posted...

They say that babies in daycare develop better social skills than those who are cared for at home by family members.

[Citation Needed]

https://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/kids-go-daycare-develop-faster-study-finds/
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Kids in daycare also get horribly mistreated
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Sexypwnstar posted...

Kids in daycare also get horribly mistreated

most modern daycares have cameras everywhere. and if i ever caught a "teacher" doing anything questionable to one of my boys I'd bring the hand of God down on that place.
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Find a good in-home provider, much cheaper.
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EvalAngell posted...

They say that babies in daycare develop better social skills than those who are cared for at home by family members.

Yeah as much as people bring up the "I don't want my kids to be raised in daycare!!!" line, I really don't think it's anywhere near as bad as people try to act like it is.
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EvalAngell posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

EvalAngell posted...

They say that babies in daycare develop better social skills than those who are cared for at home by family members.

[Citation Needed]

https://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/kids-go-daycare-develop-faster-study-finds/

It does go on to say that not all daycares are equal. For every center with a low faculty to child ratio and well-thought out activities and lessons, there are "daycares" that are one or two women with zero qualifications watching ten kids each.

Also, this is why I really hate the idea of homeschooling kids.

KiwiTerraRizing posted...

Find a good in-home provider, much cheaper.

it's not. we already addressed this. It's actually more expensive. Search Care.com and try to find a sitter willing to accept anything less than $15/hr.

9 hours a day
3 days a week

$1620 a month. Only $80 cheaper and that's IF I'm lucky enough to find someone willing to work that cheap to watch twins.
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This is why i got a vasectomy
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EvalAngell posted...

t_paynes_ghost posted...

If they're only 6 months old should your wife not still be on mat leave? I don't know how it works in America, but in Canada you get a 12 month, or 18 month Mat leave option. (18 month is reduced pay obviously, but it works out to getting a little bit more). My wife is getting ~70% of her usual take home pay on the 18 month, though we got really lucky with ours, I believe it's usually 50% with a max of ~$1000 every 2 weeks.

you only get 3 months of paternity leave. Then there's something called FMLA but she would only be eligible for up to half her regular salary. And that only lasts 3 months as well. Count your blessings bro

Do you mean maternity leave? Because I don't think the US does paternity leave, unless you have an awesome job. But yeah my wife just got time off with no pay, but had short term disability insurance, but that's only like 6 weeks, not 6 months, before you're back to work. >_>

I totally get how your wife must feel crazy being at home, especially with two babies. Like I said, due to work schedules, we don't have to have a sitter constantly, but that means I've got lots of weekends and evenings where it's just me and the kid, and as much as I love her it can get really, really rough sometimes when you just flat out can't do anything you want or need to do most of the time. Nearly impossible to get actual work around the house done, and even more impossible to just chillax and play a video game or whatever. You said you guys were in your early 30's, and I'm in my mid, I wonder if we had too much time with no real responsibility and its harder to adjust then our friends who were having kids 10 years ago.

I bet my wife and I make way less money, but cost of living is dirt cheap around here. >_> Our mortgage is like roughly a quarter of what you would pay for day care. Luckily with our work schedules we don't need full time day care, and my mom watches our daughter. We pay her, but not $1,700 a month. >_>
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EvalAngell posted...

KiwiTerraRizing posted...

Find a good in-home provider, much cheaper.

it's not. we already addressed this. It's actually more expensive. Search Care.com and try to find a sitter willing to accept anything less than $15/hr.

9 hours a day
3 days a week

$1620 a month. Only $80 cheaper and that's IF I'm lucky enough to find someone willing to work that cheap to watch twins.

Im home day care, not a sitter. Ask friends who they use.
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EvalAngell posted...

_Rinku_ posted...

EvalAngell posted...

They say that babies in daycare develop better social skills than those who are cared for at home by family members.

[Citation Needed]

https://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/kids-go-daycare-develop-faster-study-finds/

Anecdotal but when my daughter was 2 she had better speech than a few of my friends kids who were 3 and not in daycare. Of course I have a good daycare that is structured with curriculum.
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My wife is a daycare director, so as long as she works there, the owners are giving us free childcare.

We don't have kids yet though and she hates her job so by the time we have them she'll probably be somewhere else without that benefit D:
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Godnorgosh posted...

FLUFFYGERM posted...

This is why you don't have kids unless one of you is in a position to stay at home. Or unless you have parents who are retired and willing to babysit so the money can stay in the family.

Imagine having kids just to ship them off to daycare. And then expecting everyone else to subsidize your decision for you with their dollars.

But then those same conservatives who bootstrap this issue will wonder why they're not getting grandkids and what happened to the sacred family unit

Conservatives are probably more likely to have one of the parents stay at home, usually the mother, until the kids go to school.
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FLUFFYGERM posted...

Godnorgosh posted...

FLUFFYGERM posted...

This is why you don't have kids unless one of you is in a position to stay at home. Or unless you have parents who are retired and willing to babysit so the money can stay in the family.

Imagine having kids just to ship them off to daycare. And then expecting everyone else to subsidize your decision for you with their dollars.

But then those same conservatives who bootstrap this issue will wonder why they're not getting grandkids and what happened to the sacred family unit

Conservatives are probably more likely to have one of the parents stay at home, usually the mother, until the kids go to school.

And then when the birthrate drops to fuckall because the cost of having kids is so immense that no one can afford to do it,conservatives complain about immigration as ameans to bring in young people, and they just hikes taxes to pay for all the old people who hate young people but want young people to pay for their shit.

CONSERVATIVE SOLUTIONS FOLKS.
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EvalAngell posted...

My wife needs to work because otherwise she'll go insane caring for them everyday

Sounds like a bad mum.
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ColdOne666 posted...

EvalAngell posted...

My wife needs to work because otherwise she'll go insane caring for them everyday

Sounds like a bad mum.

How?
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Twin3Turbo posted...

ColdOne666 posted...

EvalAngell posted...

My wife needs to work because otherwise she'll go insane caring for them everyday

Sounds like a bad mum.

How?

Well... my mom went nuts caring for three rowdy boys.

Remembering how much of complete hellions we were is why I never want to have children, ever.

On average they say it's about $250k per kid to raise them to the age of 18.

We pay more than this but we don't really complain about it as we still have a decent wedge left over. We recognise it's the hardest it will ever be and the career progression were able to make now will mean we can give more to our kids later. Every year the costs go down anyway and it feels like a raise. For example my son just started school and it knocked 500 off our monthly bill.