Current Events > The most important rule of shooting a deuce in a public restroom

(+) Yeah! (+)

Is making sure there is some toilet paper left.

Amirite?
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Apparently dont flush the toilet and let it stew
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the important rule is to never flush after you used the toilet

The cardinal rule in my town seems to be "if you're pissing in a trough, hock a loogie while you're at it to save you the trouble".

I've been taking a shit in a pub toilet a few times, only to hear someone outside take a piss and spit in the trough while they were at it. Fucking foul behavior.
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Obligatory carving of something stupid or clever on the inside stall door.
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Also leave some gnarly as pubes laying around.
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I used a urinal at a restaurant yesterday, and about a foot above eye level was a long 2 inch pube just stuck to the wall up there. I'm nearly 6 foot, so someone went out of their way to pluck a pube at the urinal and decided to stick it higher up on the wall.

You can't help but stand there and wonder, why? Who would even do this?
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MrMallard posted...

The cardinal rule in my town seems to be "if you're possong in a trough, hock a loogie while you're at it to save you the trouble".

I've been taking a shit in a pub toilet a few times, only to hear someone outside take a piss and spit in the trough while they were at it. Fucking foul behavior.

sounds like you're a prissy brit

I found a strawberry in the urinal recently
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Spidey5 posted...

I found a strawberry in the urinal recently

O.o
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Spidey5 posted...

I found a strawberry in the urinal recently

Classy
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Shooting a deuce in the urinal
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what about pulling your pants all the way down to your ankles just to pee in the urinal

I just try to say my prayers for anal salvation in my head instead of out loud, so as not to offend others who may pray to different gods.
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The most important thing is that you grunt and make as much noise as possible while youre in the bathroom
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YookaLaylee posted...

The most important thing is that you grunt and make as much noise as possible while youre in the bathroom

Don't forget to provide running commentary on your work in between the noises. Extremely important.
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smoliske posted...

what about pulling your pants all the way down to your ankles just to pee in the urinal

And also holding your shirt up to chest level with both hands
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glitteringfairy posted...

smoliske posted...

what about pulling your pants all the way down to your ankles just to pee in the urinal

And also holding your shirt up to chest level with both hands

What do you mean chest level? You gotta tuck that bad boy under your chin to keep it up.
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MabusIncarnate posted...

Obligatory carving of something stupid or clever on the inside stall door.

Here I sit
Broken hearted
I came to shit
But only farted
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loafy013 posted...

glitteringfairy posted...

smoliske posted...

what about pulling your pants all the way down to your ankles just to pee in the urinal

And also holding your shirt up to chest level with both hands

What do you mean chest level? You gotta tuck that bad boy under your chin to keep it up.

Hot damn!
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Everytime I use a public bathroom, someone walks in and they are super out of breath like they just got chased by a bear.
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LLKoolJosh posted...

Everytime I use a public bathroom, someone walks in and they are super out of breath like they just got chased by a bear.

holding shit is tiring, you know

LLKoolJosh posted...

Everytime I use a public bathroom, someone walks in and they are super out of breath like they just got chased by a bear.

lol I know exactly what you're talking about.
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LLKoolJosh posted...

Everytime I use a public bathroom, someone walks in and they are super out of breath like they just got chased by a bear.

It's always some fat dude at the urinal straining to see his dick as his second chin encroaches on his airways.

smoliske posted...

MrMallard posted...

The cardinal rule in my town seems to be "if you're possong in a trough, hock a loogie while you're at it to save you the trouble".

I've been taking a shit in a pub toilet a few times, only to hear someone outside take a piss and spit in the trough while they were at it. Fucking foul behavior.

sounds like you're a prissy brit

I'm an Aussie so close enough? I just don't want to hear people slinging loogies while I'm trying to take a shit. Get in there, engage in an uncomfortable piss stream like everyone else, leave. Don't fucking snort all your snot up in an echoing, occupied bathroom, then let a heavy, booger-laden gob hit the bottom of the urinal and splash in your piss. It's fucking filthy, do it outside or don't do it at all.
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If its yellow, let it mellow.

If its brown, let it mellow.
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When you're pooping and another person enters the room you must fart loudly to assert your dominance as the alpha crapper.
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Confirm. Asking your neighboring stall for toilet paper isn't that big of a deal in general but personally I know I use an excess amount through experience of clogging countless toilets. Its to a point where when asking my neighbor I find out their paper situation and then make sure I have the roll connected and get the allotted amount needed which is a lot. Worse case scenario if you don't have a neighbor is to perform the crouch walk into the next stall.

MrMallard posted...

smoliske posted...

MrMallard posted...

The cardinal rule in my town seems to be "if you're possong in a trough, hock a loogie while you're at it to save you the trouble".

I've been taking a shit in a pub toilet a few times, only to hear someone outside take a piss and spit in the trough while they were at it. Fucking foul behavior.

sounds like you're a prissy brit

I'm an Aussie so close enough? I just don't want to hear people slinging loogies while I'm trying to take a shit. Get in there, engage in an uncomfortable piss stream like everyone else, leave. Don't fucking snort all your snot up in an echoing, occupied bathroom, then let a heavy, booger-laden gob hit the bottom of the urinal and splash in your piss. It's fucking filthy, do it outside or don't do it at all.

sounds like something trivial and not worth getting upset about. a bathroom is a place for excreting waste and all the noises that come with it

BuckVanHammer posted...

Also leave some gnarly as pubes laying around.

Every fucking time I use the restroom at the office theres pubes all over the place.

How are so many people's pubes just abandoning ship
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I had to puke in public once (not drunk or at a bar) and even though I could feel it churning and really had to puke I simply could not when someone else walked in. longest little minute ever
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Middle hope posted...

If its yellow, let it mellow.

If its brown, let it drown.

Fixed that FTFY for you
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