Current Events > I don't understand how people have kids, time-wise

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squarion
06/06/19 11:43:00 AM
#52:


Imagine sacrificing sleep for other reasons beside school
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emblem boy
06/06/19 11:45:55 AM
#53:


EvalAngell posted...
Romes187 posted...
I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family.


It's funny you say this because this is the main reason my wife and I decided to have kids. We just didn't want to die alone and have nothing to show for our lives. No matter how they turn out, our kids will be the one legacy we leave behind.


One fear I have, I feel like if I have a kid, I'm gonna have really high expectations for them. Like, I'd be disappointed if they didn't do something I thought was meaningful....
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clearaflagrantj
06/06/19 11:50:16 AM
#54:


emblem boy posted...
EvalAngell posted...
Romes187 posted...
I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family.


It's funny you say this because this is the main reason my wife and I decided to have kids. We just didn't want to die alone and have nothing to show for our lives. No matter how they turn out, our kids will be the one legacy we leave behind.


One fear I have, I feel like if I have a kid, I'm gonna have really high expectations for them. Like, I'd be disappointed if they didn't do something I thought was meaningful....

That's a great way to raise a kid that will eventually snap
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spanky1
06/06/19 11:50:33 AM
#55:


emblem boy posted...
EvalAngell posted...
Romes187 posted...
I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family.


It's funny you say this because this is the main reason my wife and I decided to have kids. We just didn't want to die alone and have nothing to show for our lives. No matter how they turn out, our kids will be the one legacy we leave behind.


One fear I have, I feel like if I have a kid, I'm gonna have really high expectations for them. Like, I'd be disappointed if they didn't do something I thought was meaningful....

This is another big deal. A lot of parents have unrealistic expectations. And many children will ignore parents when they're old.

My parents are hardcore jehovahs witnesses, for instance, and their dream was to have their kids be JWs as well. None of us kids are JWs, and now my dad is all old and depressed and disappointed in all of us. I think that plays a big part in why I don't want kids myself. I look at him and he seems so miserable and I don't want that.
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Ilishe
06/06/19 11:51:25 AM
#56:


emblem boy posted...
EvalAngell posted...
Romes187 posted...
I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family.


It's funny you say this because this is the main reason my wife and I decided to have kids. We just didn't want to die alone and have nothing to show for our lives. No matter how they turn out, our kids will be the one legacy we leave behind.


One fear I have, I feel like if I have a kid, I'm gonna have really high expectations for them. Like, I'd be disappointed if they didn't do something I thought was meaningful....


Ehh

You'll probably just want them to be healthy and happy.
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Ilishe
06/06/19 11:52:16 AM
#57:


You don't have to be your dad, spanky. You can learn from his mistakes.
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Romes187
06/06/19 11:53:15 AM
#58:


emblem boy posted...
EvalAngell posted...
Romes187 posted...
I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family.


It's funny you say this because this is the main reason my wife and I decided to have kids. We just didn't want to die alone and have nothing to show for our lives. No matter how they turn out, our kids will be the one legacy we leave behind.


One fear I have, I feel like if I have a kid, I'm gonna have really high expectations for them. Like, I'd be disappointed if they didn't do something I thought was meaningful....


I think once you have kids you'll realize that you are going to love them no matter what.
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Romes187
06/06/19 11:54:18 AM
#59:


spanky1 posted...
emblem boy posted...
EvalAngell posted...
Romes187 posted...
I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family.


It's funny you say this because this is the main reason my wife and I decided to have kids. We just didn't want to die alone and have nothing to show for our lives. No matter how they turn out, our kids will be the one legacy we leave behind.


One fear I have, I feel like if I have a kid, I'm gonna have really high expectations for them. Like, I'd be disappointed if they didn't do something I thought was meaningful....

This is another big deal. A lot of parents have unrealistic expectations. And many children will ignore parents when they're old.

My parents are hardcore jehovahs witnesses, for instance, and their dream was to have their kids be JWs as well. None of us kids are JWs, and now my dad is all old and depressed and disappointed in all of us. I think that plays a big part in why I don't want kids myself. I look at him and he seems so miserable and I don't want that.


I can't wait until my daughter starts forming her own opinions that go contrary to mine. That's called thinking and it should be rewarded. I wish I could fast forward a few years right now so I can have actual conversations with her, but I'll enjoy the small years while I have them

(wife is pregnant with second one anyways so here we go again)
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EvalAngell
06/06/19 11:55:37 AM
#60:


don't hold your children to rigid expectations and everything will be fine. Like I'm praying that my boys like baseball and end up becoming pro baseball players. But I also know that it's like a pipe dream that will never come to fruition. If they hate baseball at a young age I won't force it on them.
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emblem boy
06/06/19 12:48:21 PM
#61:


Did you guys find and value in any parenting books you read?

Romes187 posted...
emblem boy posted...
EvalAngell posted...
Romes187 posted...
I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family.


It's funny you say this because this is the main reason my wife and I decided to have kids. We just didn't want to die alone and have nothing to show for our lives. No matter how they turn out, our kids will be the one legacy we leave behind.


One fear I have, I feel like if I have a kid, I'm gonna have really high expectations for them. Like, I'd be disappointed if they didn't do something I thought was meaningful....


I think once you have kids you'll realize that you are going to love them no matter what.


Ya, I'm sure
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pres_madagascar
06/06/19 12:50:01 PM
#62:


EvalAngell posted...
don't hold your children to rigid expectations and everything will be fine. Like I'm praying that my boys like baseball and end up becoming pro baseball players. But I also know that it's like a pipe dream that will never come to fruition. If they hate baseball at a young age I won't force it on them.

Why would you want them to play the world's second most boring sport, only surpassed by cricket?
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Romes187
06/06/19 8:58:43 PM
#63:


emblem boy posted...
Did you guys find and value in any parenting books you read?

Romes187 posted...
emblem boy posted...
EvalAngell posted...
Romes187 posted...
I think kids and family are the hedge against being resentful, lonely, and bitter when you get to be elderly. Once you hit a certain age, all that is left for you will be family.


It's funny you say this because this is the main reason my wife and I decided to have kids. We just didn't want to die alone and have nothing to show for our lives. No matter how they turn out, our kids will be the one legacy we leave behind.


One fear I have, I feel like if I have a kid, I'm gonna have really high expectations for them. Like, I'd be disappointed if they didn't do something I thought was meaningful....


I think once you have kids you'll realize that you are going to love them no matter what.


Ya, I'm sure


No to the parenting books.

Biggest thing that helped me out in the early days was a military motto

Embrace the suck

3AM and a shitty diaper? Fuck yeah get it done. Just go all out and be there for the wife and kid early on
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1337toothbrush
06/06/19 10:26:13 PM
#64:


EvalAngell posted...
Romes187 posted...
indeed, but its almost like you have to sacrifice some liberty for responsibility and meaning in your life. Its a trade I'd make over and over again, and I'm sure you would too.


in the beginning there was some regret. It hit me hard when I could no longer really do whatever I wanted anymore. The lack of sleep was tough as well. But now that they actually sleep through the night, have personalities, and can actually move around/hold things and sort of communicate it's gotten to be fun. They're still a pain in the ass at times but I've come around that bringing them into the world has been spiritually rewarding.

Just wait until the teenage years.
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Knowledge_King
06/07/19 10:20:11 AM
#65:


You're not supposed to lift weights every day. And it certainly shouldn't take that long if you do.
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knutjob
06/07/19 10:23:15 AM
#66:


Tbf he did just say yesterday but yeah the fact it takes 90 minutes to get his lifting routine done might be part of tc's problem
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KStateKing17
06/07/19 10:25:43 AM
#67:


It only takes 30 seconds to make a kid
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Jiek_Fafn
06/07/19 10:31:37 AM
#68:


Neglectful parenting is the way to go. Kids are pretty durable. Television, school and YouTube will teach them everything they need to know.

If you need to actually spend time with your kid for them to turn out alright, then something went terribly wrong. Which is fine because it's not your fault. You weren't even there.
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spanky1
06/07/19 11:01:59 AM
#69:


KStateKing17 posted...
It only takes 30 seconds to make a kid

Look at don juan over here.
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clearaflagrantj
06/07/19 11:03:41 AM
#70:


knutjob posted...
the fact it takes 90 minutes to get his lifting routine done might be part of tc's problem

Bruh 90 minutes is pretty standard

What are you guys even doing
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knutjob
06/07/19 11:08:35 AM
#71:


clearaflagrantj posted...
knutjob posted...
the fact it takes 90 minutes to get his lifting routine done might be part of tc's problem

Bruh 90 minutes is pretty standard

What are you guys even doing


It's on the long side. 45 to 65 min with more intensity would have the same effect
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clearaflagrantj
06/07/19 11:19:42 AM
#72:


knutjob posted...
clearaflagrantj posted...
knutjob posted...
the fact it takes 90 minutes to get his lifting routine done might be part of tc's problem

Bruh 90 minutes is pretty standard

What are you guys even doing


It's on the long side. 45 to 65 min with more intensity would have the same effect

Literally false. You need at least 3 minutes rest between working sets to get full recovery for max power. If you're going for high reps size gains that's one thing, but I'm more focused on power.
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knutjob
06/07/19 11:28:40 AM
#73:


Are you doing full body workouts or something?
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clearaflagrantj
06/07/19 11:35:33 AM
#74:


knutjob posted...
Are you doing full body workouts or something?

Wednesday is 6-8 rep upper body, Friday is Sq/Bench/DL 3rm, Saturday is muscular hypertrophy upper body, shitload of volume, mostly pulling

Tuesday is full body rehab day.

It's a routine pulled mostly from Powerlifting To Win, I modified it
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Pukelid
06/07/19 11:36:27 AM
#75:


you have a lot of personal time that you say isn't personal time
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knutjob
06/07/19 11:51:35 AM
#76:


clearaflagrantj posted...
knutjob posted...
Are you doing full body workouts or something?

Wednesday is 6-8 rep upper body, Friday is Sq/Bench/DL 3rm, Saturday is muscular hypertrophy upper body, shitload of volume, mostly pulling

Tuesday is full body rehab day.

It's a routine pulled mostly from Powerlifting To Win, I modified it


Nice. I didn't mean to be critical before. It's just I find most people who spend 90 minutes at the gym spend most of it on their phone.
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1337toothbrush
06/07/19 12:20:55 PM
#77:


I'm gonna need some more executive time!!!
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Knowledge_King
06/07/19 2:48:48 PM
#78:


clearaflagrantj posted...

Wednesday is 6-8 rep upper body, Friday is Sq/Bench/DL 3rm, Saturday is muscular hypertrophy upper body, shitload of volume, mostly pulling

Tuesday is full body rehab day.

It's a routine pulled mostly from Powerlifting To Win, I modified it


Yeah that sounds like the definition of too much but OK.

Still don't see how it's 1.5 hours.
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