Current Events > Its crazy how life changes after you have a baby

(+) Yeah! (+)

Getting a full night of sleep is literally impossible. Gotta wake up every 3 hours or so to feed, change diapers, and sooth him back to sleep. My wife feeds him, and I gotta change diapers and put him to sleep. Sometimes it can take an hour of just walking back and forth cradling him until he falls asleep.

Working out is hard because I can't get a full night sleep, only fragmented a few hours at a time, and that zaps my energy throughout the day...not to mention working 60 hours a week is pretty draining.

Ive always wanted to travel with my wife, to places like europe, south america, and more. Cant do any of that any time soon. Infact if we do go, it'll be when the kids are a bit older and they go with us, and at that point, I'm worry about the kids half the time, so its not nearly as enjoyable.

Havent had sex in a long time.

Havent had any time to do anything I enjoy like video games, or just kicking back and watching a movie I want. I barely have time for required stuff like sitting down and studying. I gotta squeeze it in when I can.

For a mother its a full time job, as a father its equivalent to a part time job.

But at the end of the day, there are different types of people. Some who hear this and say No thanks, and want to enjoy their own life with freedom without any responsibility. And others who hear this and say, its all worth it. I'm the latter, I'm definitely more of a home-body / family man than a party guy.

I just can't wait until he's older to the point where I can be his friend...like we play video games together, play sports outside, watergun fights, build a tree house, work on the yard, etc.

we are trying for our first kid now so this post is hitting me where it hurts

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I've got 2 daughters I'll share a few thoughts

- it gets easier man hang in there. By 1 year they will sleep through the night and things will be way easier.

- I felt a little depressed after our second was born because like you I felt like everything else i wanted to do would be held back for years to come. Its partially true, but on the other hand when kids are a bit older like 4 or 5 you'll have endless amounts of fun taking them to places that will blow their mind. Even something like a simple fair.

- my oldest is 10 and she might as wel be a teenager. All the sudden one day they no longer want to play with you endlessly, they are independent and mom and dad arent cool anymore and you'll miss it.

- now when I have free time I don't know what the hell to do with myself. Even if I wanted to say okay videogames for 6 hours straight I just cant.

Become adult suck
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Thats why i'm not having kids. I currently have a decent amount of money and free time and i'd like to keep it that way

DanHaren2019 posted...

Some who hear this and say No thanks, and want to enjoy their own life with freedom without any responsibility.

That's me. I don't want kids and I love the travelling we've already done, looking forward to a couple decades more of exploring the world together. The idea of stuff like having to attend kids' parties and the loss of hobbies is a literal nightmare to me.

HessianPeel posted...

- I felt a little depressed after our second was born because like you I felt like everything else i wanted to do would be held back for years to come. Its partially true, but on the other hand when kids are a bit older like 4 or 5 you'll have endless amounts of fun taking them to places that will blow their mind. Even something like a simple fair.

I sorta feel that...the other day I saw a friend of mine solo travel to greece. I was just thinking bout how much fun it'd be to solo travel to Europe. Even when I travel with my wife, I have to accomodate alot of things she wants which means she's picky on where we stay, what we eat, how much we travel by foot, etc.

If things don't work out with the wife, that child will be the reason you persevere.

Well she's actually the reason I happy with everything. She's the perfect fit for me, if I waited til I was older to find someone, I may not have found someone perfect.

You sound like I did not too long ago.

This is terrifying

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It gets easier. My youngest is now 3 and sleep, travel and even money is pretty much back to what it was or better and I also have an amazing family out of it.

Can't wait till i have kids, i hope we start with twins or even triplets dat would be interesting
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My kids slept through the night by 2-3 months old. Its all routine and discipline.

Less sex sucks especially if a couple operated on a frequent libido. Something to look forward to and cherish I guess.

Hopefully youre a night owl. Thats when I have me time.

They get really fun and less demanding between 1 and 2. Bottles get phased out at 1 and diapers at 2.
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I'm expecting my first child soon

Shut up TC ;_;
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CapnMuffin posted...

My kids slept through the night by 2-3 months old. Its all routine and discipline.

Less sex sucks especially if a couple operated on a frequent libido. Something to look forward to and cherish I guess.

Hopefully youre a night owl. Thats when I have me time.

They get really fun and less demanding between 1 and 2. Bottles get phased out at 1 and diapers at 2.

Any tips for getting a baby to sleep through the night? Mine will only sleep when he's being held.


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you sound exactly like I did not too long ago. But my wife & I ended up with twin boys lol. Imagine having to deal with that. They're 14 months now and as a couple of other posters have said, it does get better.

It's a very hard adjustment in the beginning. Yes you have no freedom. Much like you I was a workout warrior and went to the gym 5-6 days a week. I can barely get there 1 day a week now...2 if I'm lucky. I haven't turned into a complete "dad bod" but it's a little depressing looking in the mirror at times. And of course it's been much tougher on my wife. Don't get me wrong...she looks damn good for having had twins. But considering how her body used to look and how tone and skinny she was...the sacrifice is real.

The sleeping will get better. For us in the beginning they only slept in 2-3 hour intervals. We were up 3 or 4 separate points throughout the night, EVERY night for the first 2 months because they required strict feeding schedules. Also when one woke up yelling, he woke his brother up. So that was always a nightmare. Especially when you gotta be up for work in the morning. Be thankful you don't have a colicky baby - we don't but just saying. There will be times of resentment because you can't go out with friends or can't do much of anything without considering the baby. Don't say anything stupid...just swallow the words and carry on. It WILL get better.

Any free time you once had is now basically gone. You can't veg out and do nothing because obviously have to be constantly on the duty as a dad or else your wife/girl is gonna yell at you. Prepare to fight A LOT more. But don't let it get too out of control. Don't threaten a divorce or scream at her or...hit her..

The sex will return. Right now you guys are still tired from everything and she's probably still a little sensitive and shy regarding her body. The passion will return. You have to do your part too. Make her STILL feel sexy. And don't let yourself go. Keep the fire burning. There will be plenty of time to fuck.

Money will get tighter. Babies are expensive as shit. I urge you to buy second hand things. Take as many handouts as you can...diapers...clothes...toys. Don't buy expensive brand new shit. My wife insisted we buy EVERYTHING new for the boys and so much shit was wasted because they grow out of it so fast or don't end up needing things in the end.

But listen...once the baby starts coming into it's own - starts taking on a personality, can play with things and starts to recognize you - it feels great. I actually don't recall my life without the boys. It's only been a little over a year but the adjustment takes over. You just have to embrace the responsibility. That's the thing. You guys made a decision to have the baby and keep it. You can't run from it. That's worse and will fuck up your life even more if you try abandon ship. Your kid will hate you, your woman will hate you and try to suck every penny out of you for child support.

You'll be able to go out..just give it time. Utilize grandparents as much as possible. If it's their first grandchild they will relish the opportunity to watch the baby.

Sorry for the long post...but I've been there man. Just hang on and push through. 6-7 months is when things start to change. The baby starts to sleep a little longer and gets into a pattern. Just be patient.

I'm right there with you. I can't wait til my boys are old enough to run around, play video games and sports with me. But right now it's still pretty damn fun at times. Currently I CAN actually wrestle with them and they tackle me and play with them. They're starting to get it. Yes they drive me nuts but this is life now and I have to do whatever it takes to give them a good one.
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Accolon posted...

CapnMuffin posted...

My kids slept through the night by 2-3 months old. Its all routine and discipline.

Less sex sucks especially if a couple operated on a frequent libido. Something to look forward to and cherish I guess.

Hopefully youre a night owl. Thats when I have me time.

They get really fun and less demanding between 1 and 2. Bottles get phased out at 1 and diapers at 2.

Any tips for getting a baby to sleep through the night? Mine will only sleep when he's being held.

Well heres our routine:
- Diaper and jammies
- Sleepsack (our kids slept in these zip potato sack things...the ones with hand caps when really youngsleeveless when older)
- Bottle then burp for a few minutes
- Then we just put them in the crib with some pacifiers scattered nearby and tell them to go to sleep before walking away.

Notes:
- This happens the same way at the same time every day.
- Letting them put themself to sleep is key. This takes a couple weeks to master but the payoff is worth it. We let them fuss and only go in to comfort if its true wailing. Then we hold them until they are -almost- asleep and then put them back in. If they fall asleep in your arms, later when they stir and realize they arent, it upsets them.
- A white noise machine set to a low volume is useful.
- Routine is not just for night time. Stick to consistency throughout the day with naps, feedings, etc.
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My son is 16 days old and I feel most of what you're saying. Stuff like no travelling for a while, I'm okay with because we prepared for this.

I am pretty exhausted. Some days I'll be fine, and then in the afternoon the sleep deprivation will hit me like a bag of bricks.

Other than that it's not too bad so far. I got to take a week off of paternity leave, and honestly that was a really good week. I'd rather be staying home with my son than at work because his problems are straight forward. I'm sure that will change before too long.
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Sounds terrible but at least after you catch her cheating on you and you get divorced she gets full custody so you don't have to worry about it.

I'm edgy I know
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BobanMarjanovic posted...

Sounds terrible but at least after you catch her cheating on you and you get divorced she gets full custody so you don't have to worry about it.

I'm edgy I know

He still would be liable to pay his fair share so your edgy point isnt smart anyways

DanHaren2019 posted...

I just can't wait until he's older to the point where I can be his friend...like we play video games together, play sports outside, watergun fights, build a tree house, work on the yard, etc.

Brace yourself for disappointment

That's why I'm single and have tons of money and do cool shit all the time.

Suckers.

DDirtyDastard posted...

That's why I'm single and have tons of money and do cool shit all the time.

Suckers.

Stay that way. You don't need to know how amazing life can be and then have that taken away.

DDirtyDastard posted...

That's why I'm single and have tons of money and do cool shit all the time.

Suckers.

Like post of CE

I have a dog so I completely understand what you're going through.
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do you have a lot of family near by that will help with the baby?

me and my gf moved closer to our families (we live literally down the block from her parents) just so they can help take care of our kids when we have them lol.
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Lost_All_Senses posted...

I have a dog so I completely understand what you're going through.

We got a puppy last year, I was waking up twice a night to take him out (15 min process). The difference is, with a dog, you just take him out, he pees and poops, frequently will have indoor accidents that I clean up, then he goes back to his bed and thats it. Maybe some whimpering but not much. With a baby, theres diapers (2-3 min), feeding (30-40 minutes), cradling him to sleep (60 min). The whole process is honestly about 2 hours and its unpredictable. Sometimes he'll fall asleep right away. Last night we went to bed at 9 after feeding, he fell asleep for 40 minutes then woke up at about 10 and would not sleep again til 2am. I was walking him back and fourth and kept trying to put him down and he'd go ham. But after 2, he stayed asleep til 7.