Current Events > childhood trauma incident topic #7: not allowed to walk on grass

(+) Yeah! (+)

note: this series of topics is meant to illustrate how rough of a childhood i had, because whenever i mention it people always dismiss it as "first world problems"

recap: my mother is a major germaphobe

so one of the things she was most paranoid about was dogs pooping on grass. she absolutely found it barbaric that dogs would poop on grass and some owners would just leave it there. so she banned everyone in the house from ever walking on grass or dirt. if i ever did she would scream at me until i was in tears. eventually i just gave in and just never walked on grass for fear of her repercussions. so during recess whenever all the kids played outside in the grass, i would just stand on the edge on the pavement watching instead of participating...

to this day she still screams at me whenever i walk on grass but i've learned to just tune her out

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You should move out already
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Perhaps you should discuss this with a psychiatrist. I'd assume engineers with 6 figure salaries have health insurance, no?
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R1masher posted...

You should move out already

I did years ago lol

mustachedmystic posted...

Perhaps you should discuss this with a psychiatrist. I'd assume engineers with 6 figure salaries have health insurance, no?

I already figured all this out. This is for the benefit of you guys

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Protip # 342 wear cashmere gloves on your feet whenever you walk on grass and your mom will be none the wiser
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C, final answer.
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No_U_L7 posted...

I already figured all this out. This is for the benefit of you guys

I gotta admit, I do get a minute amount of pleasure from your topics. Thanks!
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you should throw her rent money into the grass and tell her that she better get it if she doesn't want to be homeless. maybe it'll help that fear.

or maybe she'll just outsmart you and put on a hazmat suit then get the money.
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