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pinky0926 11/13/19 11:13:06 AM #1: |
Stress. How you're expected to handle stress, versus how women are allowed to handle stress.
Now to be fair I have worked in places where this isn't an issue, and I'm sure a lot of modern offices are wise to this, but I have also worked for some ass-backward places. And I swear to God it's always some paternalistic manager or Director who will give every woman in the office a mile and not allow the men an inch. I used to work in a place with an MD like this. This guy was a sexist pig through and through, and one thing he loved doing is being the fucking hero any time a female employee had a problem. He would swoop in, save the day, and bring out a box of tissues in solidarity. All the girls had to do was turn on the waterworks or say they felt overwhelmed and bam - take two days off, I'll sort this for you, the client will understand. Not me, or any of the guys though. Goddamn. If we felt overwhelmed, or stressed, or on the verge of tears (but never actually crying, because boys don't cry remember), then it was because we were bad at time management, or hadn't organised things well to begin with, or poor at prioritising. Admitting any of these problems was akin to saying "I'm bad at my job and it's about time you screamed at me". I wouldn't even dream of taking a sick day for "stress", despite the fact that there was one particular girl who was off about once a fortnight for stress. I don't know if anyone here has had a similar experience, just felt like a vent. --- CE's Resident Scotsman. https://imgur.com/ILz2ZbV ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Damn_Underscore 11/13/19 11:15:59 AM #2: |
how is that misogynistic and not misandrystic
--- Shenmue II = best game of all time Shenmue = 2nd best game of all time ... Copied to Clipboard!
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EndOfDiscOne 11/13/19 11:17:29 AM #3: |
Can confirm that I've seen women at work cry from stress, but never a man. Then again I can't imagine crying from being stressed.
Edit: I have seen gay men cry from stress --- I am the Cheese! I am the best character on the show! I am better than both the salami and the bologna COMBINED! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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saspa 11/13/19 11:22:50 AM #4: |
"waah why do women have it easier"
Is that what today's sad excuse for men have become? I grew up in a place where guys got semi daily beatings. After that everything else is fair game. Something is unfair? Tough. You deal with it and move on. --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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pinky0926 11/13/19 11:24:47 AM #5: |
Damn_Underscore posted...
how is that misogynistic and not misandrystic Sexism isn't really about what's fundamentally good/bad for women/men, it's about seeing men/women as X and then treating them in such a way that is not equal (or more accurately, fair) based on that perception. In this case, the guy treating women better wasn't because they deserved better or because he respects women. It was entirely rooted in his own fantasy of being the Daddy. He wanted to save them, because women are precious (in his mind), and need help to do basic tasks. Quite patronising really, even if it ultimately did mean the women were better off. --- CE's Resident Scotsman. https://imgur.com/ILz2ZbV ... Copied to Clipboard!
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pinky0926 11/13/19 11:26:03 AM #6: |
saspa posted...
"waah why do women have it easier" This seems like a really stupid way to justify how an employer should treat employees. Also for clarification, I did deal with it and move on (you know, because I'm an adult, but it still happened. We're just talking here. --- CE's Resident Scotsman. https://imgur.com/ILz2ZbV ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Pogo_Marimo 11/13/19 11:26:45 AM #7: |
saspa posted...
"waah why do women have it easier"Literal toxic masculinity and double standards. And I don't even particularly like pointing these things out. --- I presume my time here in my darkblack dragondark steel-obliterating solitude has come to its end as well. http://www.last.fm/user/Pogo92 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Balrog0 11/13/19 11:27:18 AM #8: |
being expected to do all the (light) manual labor because you're stronger
would be my answer --- But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Annihilated 11/13/19 11:27:48 AM #9: |
pinky0926 posted...
Damn_Underscore posted...how is that misogynistic and not misandrystic It's interesting how quickly you made a complete 180 and made women the victims in this scenario. Wonder if that's more of your "misogyny." ... Copied to Clipboard!
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#10 | Post #10 was unavailable or deleted. |
pinky0926 11/13/19 11:30:07 AM #11: |
Annihilated posted...
pinky0926 posted...Damn_Underscore posted...how is that misogynistic and not misandrystic It's possible for the women to be better off in this scenario and for the man responsible to base his decisions on thinking women are more fragile than men. It's not really complicated. But yes of course, then men were worse off, and treated in such a way that men shouldn't, which is also sexism. This is not an either/or thing. --- CE's Resident Scotsman. https://imgur.com/ILz2ZbV ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Damn_Underscore 11/13/19 11:30:26 AM #12: |
But if he can afford to give female employees off then he can afford to give male employees off too. But he won't.
I really doubt this guy "hates" either men or women. But his policies are beneficial to women and hurtful to men. --- Shenmue II = best game of all time Shenmue = 2nd best game of all time ... Copied to Clipboard!
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pinky0926 11/13/19 11:31:08 AM #13: |
dolomedes posted...
this is not my experience at all. Sounds like you had/have a supportive work environment, which is good. My current workplace is more like this, which is also good. I'm talking about someplace else though, and it's not the only time I've encountered it. --- CE's Resident Scotsman. https://imgur.com/ILz2ZbV ... Copied to Clipboard!
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pinky0926 11/13/19 11:32:42 AM #14: |
Damn_Underscore posted...
But if he can afford to give female employees off then he can afford to give male employees off too. But he won't. He didn't hate women in the sense that he disliked them or wanted to beat them up or whatever. His policies were based on the idea that women are more fragile than men. That it was his job to look after them in such a way that he wouldn't extend to his male employees. --- CE's Resident Scotsman. https://imgur.com/ILz2ZbV ... Copied to Clipboard!
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CyricZ 11/13/19 11:32:47 AM #15: |
I hear you man. Even if you're in a place where it shouldn't be an issue from a management perspective, you're still a man who was "brought up that way" and likely around men who for whom it was the same. Social pressure alone.
--- CyricZ ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Sackgurl 11/13/19 11:35:31 AM #17: |
pinky0926 posted...
how women are allowed to handle stress. maybe you don't see it but the frequency with which personality traits are used on women's vs men's performance reviews to justify lesser raises suggests that while we are 'allowed' to handle stress in the ways you're describing, it is a trap and we are punished for it. --- LittleBigPlanet is like merging dress-up with a real game. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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spudger 11/13/19 11:37:01 AM #18: |
dolomedes posted...
pinky0926 posted...Sounds like you had/have a supportive work environment, which is good. My current workplace is more like this, which is also good. then you should report them. if its so horribly mismanaged that people are crying and quitting then someone higher up needs to be canned. --- -Only dead fish swim with the current http://error1355.com/ce/spudger.html ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Damn_Underscore 11/13/19 11:37:08 AM #19: |
Would you still be angry if his policies applied to all employees? Or would it be better if he said "deal with it" to all his employees?
Expecting men to just deal with stress isn't anti-female at all, it's anti-male. The reality is that women do benefit from his policies, and men would too if he offered those policies to men. --- Shenmue II = best game of all time Shenmue = 2nd best game of all time ... Copied to Clipboard!
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pinky0926 11/13/19 11:40:19 AM #20: |
dolomedes posted...
pinky0926 posted...Sounds like you had/have a supportive work environment, which is good. My current workplace is more like this, which is also good. That's rough man. Sackgurl posted... pinky0926 posted...how women are allowed to handle stress. I hadn't considered that side of things actually. Damn_Underscore posted... Would you still be angry if his policies applied to all employees? Or would it be better if he said "deal with it" to all his employees? I think stress leave is legit and people shouldn't be punished for feeling stressed, basically. I was annoyed at how he had a different set of rules for girls and boys. He had one particular favourite employee he was trying to bang that really took the piss with the whole thing. She'd get stress leave anytime things became slightly unpleasant. You know, because being at work and dealing with problems is always gonna be fun... --- CE's Resident Scotsman. https://imgur.com/ILz2ZbV ... Copied to Clipboard!
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EndOfDiscOne 11/13/19 11:44:29 AM #22: |
What are peoples thoughts on this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoCG_DS2T6Y I agree with the idea that while it may seem okay for women to cry at work, it's not considered a good look for those who want to advance in the company. --- I am the Cheese! I am the best character on the show! I am better than both the salami and the bologna COMBINED! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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hockeybub89 11/13/19 11:46:11 AM #23: |
Dress codes are pretty sexist too
--- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Kolibri X 11/13/19 11:47:20 AM #24: |
Yeah, men are given less compassion and sympathy than women but this extends past the office to nearly everything else in the world as well.
--- Platinum GameFAQs Member ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Damn_Underscore 11/13/19 11:51:14 AM #27: |
EndOfDiscOne posted...
What are peoples thoughts on this: I agree with this, but it applies to everyone (although men don't cry as often). Crying can obviously be genuine, but crying can also be used dishonestly. And there's nothing wrong with assuming that all crying is dishonest in the business world where your goal is to make money. You can be emotionally in a tough space and still talk about it rationally. --- Shenmue II = best game of all time Shenmue = 2nd best game of all time ... Copied to Clipboard!
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southcoast09 11/13/19 11:56:07 AM #28: |
hockeybub89 posted...
Dress codes are pretty sexist too They can definitely be unbalanced when some people are forced to wear slacks and some people are allowed to wear yoga pants or ripped up jeans to work. Half of the workplace looks professional and half of it looks like it just woke up. Its not a men/women thing, but dress code inequality is something thats always pissed me off. --- #MakeFinalFantasyGreatAgain ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ToPoPO 11/13/19 12:20:42 PM #29: |
All my female bosses have been awesome to me, male bosses, not so much.
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thanosibe 11/13/19 12:37:11 PM #30: |
I know it will sound insensitive and maybe it is, but if you are crying at work over stress, then maybe move on? I have had stressful jobs. One bad enough that I sought a therapist outside of work and even had a few panic attacks. And it was why I got out of that job. Neither men or women should be crying at work due to stress. That says a far more about that particular place of employment than it does anything being inherently sexist or not in society for how both sexes handle stress.
--- I think I need a drink. Almost everybody does only they don't know it. -- Charles Bukowski ... Copied to Clipboard!
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ElatedVenusaur 11/13/19 12:55:19 PM #31: |
hockeybub89 posted...
Dress codes are pretty sexist too The dress code at Whole Foods is ridiculous and enforced in a really punitive manner. It's designed to specifically target stuff like leggings and yoga pants and is enforced really unevenly. For example, it tends to be enforced much harder on women who are conventionally attractive, which tells you everything you need to know about it(literally they let the chubby white girl wear leggings or whatever without ever commenting on it, but my skinny black coworker got written up and sent home within the hour). ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Tupacrulez 11/13/19 12:58:05 PM #32: |
OP definitely happened and isn't just a fictitious projection of bias.
--- Suck less, Rock Moar Company I work for sends screwed up pieces out all the time.-r4xor, the professional welder. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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