Current Events > Am I the only one that realizes relationships are 100% based on LUCK?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I don't know how no one realizes this. Everything about relationships is entirely 100% based on luck, that is, the chance you get to interact with the person. I'm not referring just to romantic r/s but just friendships in general too. You may actually click well w someone you know but because the two of you never ever get the chance to interact with, you two never get to know each other thus the relationship never develops.

Even if two people happen to go frequently to the same group event (eg. a roadshow, a party, meeting, session, class, lecture, talk etcetc) , if the event does not actually allow time for mingling and socialising, then you're only 'so close yet so far'.
Of course you might suggest with technology, you can just text the person. Well, that only works if the person is familiar and comfortable w you in the first place. So if you try texting someone you hardly ever get to talk to, you'd just come off sounding like a creep. Sliding into DMs or whatnot, none of those work if you never get to talk much to someone in the first place.

tl/dr: Serendipity
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Considering one of the most popular phrases at a wedding is Im so lucky to have found you I thinks its pretty obvious most people know.
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100% chance tc ain't finding any
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We know buddy
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I wouldn't say 100%

You need to put effort into it once it starts too.
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Umbreon posted...

I wouldn't say 100%

You need to put effort into it once it starts too.

yeah I mean getting into the relationship in the first place. That's really alot on luck

from where you're posting it must seem like an 18-year kissless run of no gf. truth is...relationships are based on luck. - benny the ceman
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Not really luck, just effort in most cases. You've got to make those moments rather than let it be up to random circumstance.

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Yeah, a lot of things in life are based on luck, chance. I guess people don't talk about it because it's kind of depressing.

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Yeah, and any time I've ever been in a relationship I think, how did I get myself here? Or whatever, and I can never come up with an answer that would be able to help me the next time I'm single lol.

It's crazy. Even if you put yourself in a position to talk to a person, maybe you're tired or nervous or whatever and leave a bad first impression so you never get to know each other beyond that. Maybe you do get a first date and same thing, you don't make the cut. Most people are pretty low on patience and pretty unforgiving, you gotta get these things right the first time.

The thing that's most depressing to me is that I think virtually everyone just gives up and "settles." Everyone will give you the spiel about how "My husband/wife is my best friend and the love of my life, they're perfect for me in every way blah blah blah." I do love my girlfriend and we do pretty much everything together, but tbh we both have pretty different views and like vastly different things. There probably really is someone out there that is everything you find attractive in another person, likes all the same things you like, shares all your hobbies, etc. Maybe even many people.. you just either don't meet them or you don't get close to them. So you find someone that's good enough and call that love, because it's better than being alone and wasting your life hopelessly searching for "the one."
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Ultima Dragon posted...

Yeah, and any time I've ever been in a relationship I think, how did I get myself here? Or whatever, and I can never come up with an answer that would be able to help me the next time I'm single lol.

It's crazy. Even if you put yourself in a position to talk to a person, maybe you're tired or nervous or whatever and leave a bad first impression so you never get to know each other beyond that. Maybe you do get a first date and same thing, you don't make the cut. Most people are pretty low on patience and pretty unforgiving, you gotta get these things right the first time.

The thing that's most depressing to me is that I think virtually everyone just gives up and "settles." Everyone will give you the spiel about how "My husband/wife is my best friend and the love of my life, they're perfect for me in every way blah blah blah." I do love my girlfriend and we do pretty much everything together, but tbh we both have pretty different views and like vastly different things. There probably really is someone out there that is everything you find attractive in another person, likes all the same things you like, shares all your hobbies, etc. Maybe even many people.. you just either don't meet them or you don't get close to them. So you find someone that's good enough and call that love, because it's better than being alone and wasting your life hopelessly searching for "the one."

my standards are pretty insanely low already. I think it's luck enough I even get the chance to have daily interactions with a girl -_-

So basically, you don't make active efforts to try and interact with girls? Because if you made an effort you'd not be in some "lucky for a daily interaction" scenario. That's not luck, that's you.

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gunplagirl posted...

So basically, you don't make active efforts to try and interact with girls? Because if you made an effort you'd not be in some "lucky for a daily interaction" scenario. That's not luck, that's you.

Well what are the odds of running into TWO women in one day? Remember that you have to pass by Mommy on the way out.
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You're not the only one who realizes this, TC. On the contrary: everyone comes to this realization at some point in their lives. And then we realize that it doesn't really mean anything, and move on.

The variety in human psychology is almost infinite: certainly too vast for perfect matches to ever be possible. But by sheer numbers, there are thousands if not millions of people out there who would be excellent matches as friends or even partners for any given person. All you have to do is find some, and it turns out that this isn't so difficult.

This doesn't mean that friendships and relationships are effortless. Again, perfect matches are impossible; we all need some accommodation in our lives, even me, even you. But you put in the effort to accommodate your friends and partners, and they put in the effort to accommodate you, and this is the glue that makes it work.

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I think that most people understand the concept that you're talking about. Also, the odds of you and the other person even being born in the first place were pretty slim. But as others have said, effort is also a factor
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In shocking news, increasing the range of people you regularly meet (via socializing, hobbies, education or work) greatly increases the chances of meeting someone you are compatible with. Who'd have thunk it!

My relationship was 90% effort and 10% luck. I walked 1 hour and 30mins to see her and then walked the same amount of time back home, rain didn't stop me and I had to make time after school/work as well. I was walking back home around 10pm majority of the times and could only visit her at her house because of her strict parents. When she started working I would go have lunch with her at her work place which was the same distance. Very few times I got a ride and when I did I had to give gas money or buy food or help wash the car or repay with a favor.
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Meeting any individual person is luck-based, but actual relationships are barely impacted by it. Put in some effort and stop whining.

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gunplagirl posted...

Not really luck, just effort in most cases. You've got to make those moments rather than let it be up to random circumstance.

This.

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I agree

Which is why there's no reason to get butthurt over relationships.(or lack of one). Work comes after you find the person really, so when people complain about not having a partners it's usually because they don't want to put in the work to have a meaningful relationship after the luck aspect of it has already happened.

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You pretty much described proximity in your first post OP, then went on to post 13 where you arent getting any ass.

Luck plays a role, but not a huge one. Sounds like youre admitting defeat and blaming luck lol.
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Yes, luck is a factor in most things, though it's not the only thing. Had I not decided to go board hunting on a particular in 2006, and found a topic that was going to be purged that night, I wouldn't have had a ten year relationship, or lived in Puerto Rico, or learned Yoshukai karate.

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El Mexicano Texano posted...

My relationship was 90% effort and 10% luck. I walked 1 hour and 30mins to see her and then walked the same amount of time back home, rain didn't stop me and I had to make time after school/work as well. I was walking back home around 10pm majority of the times and could only visit her at her house because of her strict parents. When she started working I would go have lunch with her at her work place which was the same distance. Very few times I got a ride and when I did I had to give gas money or buy food or help wash the car or repay with a favor.

but how did you establish the relationship in the first place? Surely you two must have been close friends before becoming attached?

Guide posted...

Yes, luck is a factor in most things, though it's not the only thing.

This
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ArchiePeck posted...

In shocking news, increasing the range of people you regularly meet (via socializing, hobbies, education or work) greatly increases the chances of meeting someone you are compatible with. Who'd have thunk it!

tell me how many kind of events you can go to where you can meet the person regularly or work together in the same team? Two people who liked each other could literally be sitting in the same class but because they were never given a reason to talk to each other (eg. working in the same team), no relationship is established.

EdgeMaster posted...

You pretty much described proximity in your first post OP, then went on to post 13 where you arent getting any ass.

Luck plays a role, but not a huge one. Sounds like youre admitting defeat and blaming luck lol.

I'm in a position where the only way to communicate w most girls I know or like is through text. Because we hardly ever get to see each other in person. And as y'know, not many girls like texting (and some may see it as unnecessarily creepy). How else do you get in touch with the person by talking physcially then? It's impossible.

Take a risk take a chance and break away

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Wutobliteration posted...

Of course you might suggest with technology, you can just text the person. Well, that only works if the person is familiar and comfortable w you in the first place. So if you try texting someone you hardly ever get to talk to, you'd just come off sounding like a creep.

This sounds like a personal problem.
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Wutobliteration posted...

El Mexicano Texano posted...

My relationship was 90% effort and 10% luck. I walked 1 hour and 30mins to see her and then walked the same amount of time back home, rain didn't stop me and I had to make time after school/work as well. I was walking back home around 10pm majority of the times and could only visit her at her house because of her strict parents. When she started working I would go have lunch with her at her work place which was the same distance. Very few times I got a ride and when I did I had to give gas money or buy food or help wash the car or repay with a favor.

but how did you establish the relationship in the first place? Surely you two must have been close friends before becoming attached?

Friendship took 3 years to build the first year she didn't even speak to me at all
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