Current Events > How do you married people do money?

(+) Yeah! (+)

What I mean is, how do you handle money with your SO? I was wondering because things have changed. A long time ago, most families had one bank account. Usually a shared account or whatever. I think it was something from a time long ago where the men usually made the money while the women were usually a stay at home wife. These days, I noticed that many people have separate bank accounts. Which is also fine. Some families have both. A shared account for things like bills, and their own for their other money.

Bonus question: For those that split the rent, how do you do it? Is it a 50/50 split? Do you based it on income (example: person 1 makes 75% percent of total income, some pays 75% of the bills, while person 2 make 25% of total income and pays 25% of the bills)? Or some other way?
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me and my wife still have separate checking accounts. But we also opened a joint savings account which has our "nest egg" in it. i refuse to merge the checking accounts though. I know her spending habits. I pay all the bills and she gives me a flat amount towards everything each month. As long as she gives her portion of the bills, she can blow HER money however she wants.

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JustMyOpinion posted...

One account for everything.

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I've talked about this with friends. My plan is that regardless of who makes more, we first contribute to our 401ks. After that, we pool our money into a joint account. This account is used for bills. At this point, it doesn't matter who makes more, it's one pool of money. After the bills and other investments are paid, we would then split the remaining between the two of us evenly into separate "fun" accounts that we do what we want with.

I have a friend who disagrees with this because it's not "fair" to the one who might be making significantly more money. If he makes more, he wants to spend more. I guess it depends on how you define "fair."

Like, if my wife felt stressed due to finances because we split 50-50 and her pool always started out small, would I really be fine with that?
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JustMyOpinion posted...

One account for everything.

This. There is no my money or his money in our marriage.

Since I make the most, I pay 75% of the bills. We then have separate bank accounts and do whatever.

emblem boy posted...

I've talked about this with friends. My plan is that regardless of who makes more, we first contribute to our 401ks. After that, we pool our money into a joint account. This account is used for bills. At this point, it doesn't matter who makes more, it's one pool of money. After the bills and other investments are paid, we would then split the remaining between the two of us evenly into separate "fun" accounts that we do what we want with.

I have a friend who disagrees with this because it's not "fair" to the one who might be making significantly more money. If he makes more, he wants to spend more. I guess it depends on how you define "fair."

Like, if my wife felt stressed due to finances because we split 50-50 and her pool always started out small, would I really be fine with that?

And sorry, but that's just too dam complicated lol.

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So many people marry for convenience that I wouldn't be surprised if they wanted to keep everything separate. Trust us really low on the list for things to have before marriage.

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we have one bank account that we both have access to, money is not split in any way between us. if one of us wants to make a big purchase we just talk it over. i am more financially minded than my wife so i do most of the planning

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We each have our own personal checking / savings.

We also have a joint checking for bills and mortgage, and a joint savings for big projects and vacations.

We share a credit card that we use on almost every thing for points

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A joint account for shared expenses and we each have our own for personal expenses. We each contribute a certain percentage of our paycheck to the joint. This way we don't get into arguments about spending money.

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Not married but my one of my manager and her boyfriend who used to work there says that they take turns paying rent each month. So they each only have to pay rent for half of the year.

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For the people with one account, does it work well?

EvalAngell posted...

me and my wife still have separate checking accounts. But we also opened a joint savings account which has our "nest egg" in it. i refuse to merge the checking accounts though. I know her spending habits. I pay all the bills and she gives me a flat amount towards everything each month. As long as she gives her portion of the bills, she can blow HER money however she wants.

So, for the bills, its like if you had roommates. Thats how Ive always done bills with roommates. But you still have a nest egg together. Which is good...

emblem boy posted...

I've talked about this with friends. My plan is that regardless of who makes more, we first contribute to our 401ks. After that, we pool our money into a joint account. This account is used for bills. At this point, it doesn't matter who makes more, it's one pool of money. After the bills and other investments are paid, we would then split the remaining between the two of us evenly into separate "fun" accounts that we do what we want with.

I have a friend who disagrees with this because it's not "fair" to the one who might be making significantly more money. If he makes more, he wants to spend more. I guess it depends on how you define "fair."

Like, if my wife felt stressed due to finances because we split 50-50 and her pool always started out small, would I really be fine with that?

I do understand what your friend is saying. It does make sense. Since the person making more does end up spending less than he would have. Which sucks if youre used to a certain way of life. Though, you wouldnt want your spouse to be financially stressed. Although, you could have done it differently and helped out when she needed more. But of this works for you, then thats good. There was something else, but I forgot...

Cleo_II posted...

This. There is no my money or his money in our marriage.

I think thats a good way of thinking. Though, I know people who have had problem with that line of thinking, as well...

kinetika_ posted...

Since I make the most, I pay 75% of the bills. We then have separate bank accounts and do whatever.

I believe Suze Orman said that was a good way to do it. Based the personal outcome on personal income. I can see it being good for things where it would leave the other person with no money, or in debt to the other person...

Lost_All_Senses posted...

So many people marry for convenience that I wouldn't be surprised if they wanted to keep everything separate. Trust us really low on the list for things to have before marriage.

Trust shouldnt be that low. But it is understandable to be worried about stuff like that. Even more so when you know the person and know about their financial history...
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Romulox28 posted...

we have one bank account that we both have access to, money is not split in any way between us. if one of us wants to make a big purchase we just talk it over. i am more financially minded than my wife so i do most of the planning

Yeah. Thats another good way. Money is pooled, but you use communication. Which is a very ru good thing to do...

MC_BatCommander posted...

We each have our own personal checking / savings.

We also have a joint checking for bills and mortgage, and a joint savings for big projects and vacations.

We share a credit card that we use on almost every thing for points

Do you both put the same amount in each account (like all three) as the other person? Or is it income based? Or based on whatevers left over?

EndOfDiscOne posted...

A joint account for shared expenses and we each have our own for personal expenses. We each contribute a certain percentage of our paycheck to the joint. This way we don't get into arguments about spending money.

It is the same percentage, but different amounts? Or the same amounts, but different percentages?

Politics posted...

Not married but my one of my manager and her boyfriend who used to work there says that they take turns paying rent each month. So they each only have to pay rent for half of the year.

That works, I guess. Though, thats kind of like half every month. I guess you can make bigger purchases when its the other persons month. I like just splitting it every month. That works for me. But its good if that works for them!
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LinkPizza posted...

Do you both put the same amount in each account (like all three) as the other person? Or is it income based? Or based on whatevers left over?

Yeah we each put a portion of our income into the joint account and after expenses are all covered the remainder moves into the joint savings.

It's worked pretty well for us so far

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LinkPizza posted...

It is the same percentage, but different amounts? Or the same amounts, but different percentages?

Same percentage, different amounts. I do contribute excess money to our joint investment account every now and then, just because I have the money and I want to. There's no expectation that my wife does the same.

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My wife and I put all of our money into one account. Bills get paid and we both have the freedom to purchase personal things we want as long as it's not too expensive. If it's a bigger priced item then we discuss it with eachother first. Not because we need "permission" but out of respect and to make sure it won't affect anything.

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MC_BatCommander posted...

Yeah we each put a portion of our income into the joint account and after expenses are all covered the remainder moves into the joint savings.

It's worked pretty well for us so far

That good, then... If it works, it works.

EndOfDiscOne posted...

Same percentage, different amounts. I do contribute excess money to our joint investment account every now and then, just because I have the money and I want to. There's no expectation that my wife does the same.

I see. I think the same percentage thing is pretty good. And I guess thats good to give a little excess to your investment account when you can...

ShotgunSilencer posted...

My wife and I put all of our money into one account. Bills get paid and we both have the freedom to purchase personal things we want as long as it's not too expensive. If it's a bigger priced item then we discuss it with eachother first. Not because we need "permission" but out of respect and to make sure it won't affect anything.

Where is the line for smaller and bigger purchases. Like I would think one video game is small. But I know some people have different lines on whats a small or big purchase...
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kinetika_ posted...

Since I make the most, I pay 75% of the bills. We then have separate bank accounts and do whatever.

emblem boy posted...

I've talked about this with friends. My plan is that regardless of who makes more, we first contribute to our 401ks. After that, we pool our money into a joint account. This account is used for bills. At this point, it doesn't matter who makes more, it's one pool of money. After the bills and other investments are paid, we would then split the remaining between the two of us evenly into separate "fun" accounts that we do what we want with.

I have a friend who disagrees with this because it's not "fair" to the one who might be making significantly more money. If he makes more, he wants to spend more. I guess it depends on how you define "fair."

Like, if my wife felt stressed due to finances because we split 50-50 and her pool always started out small, would I really be fine with that?

And sorry, but that's just too dam complicated lol.

Lol. It's just giving each of us a shared allowance pretty much right
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Joint account for bills and groceries/living expenses. Separate accounts for everything else. We both put the 50% into the joint account, regardless of who makes more.

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My wife and I were "old" by the time we got married so neither of us were too interested in combining our finances. I pay all the bills, she pays me back for half. We do have a joint savings account but that's the only thing we have in both our names.

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We have one account. We make about the same (her take home pay is higher but I make a little more. Our insurance is through my job).

I manage the money because I'm better at planning ahead and better with numbers. So I pay the bills from our pooled accounts and I help set caps on our spending so that we don't go over budget.

It could be better but it works for us.

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Cleo_II posted...

This. There is no my money or his money in our marriage.

This. Despite 80% of our income coming from me, we still don't differentiate between who's money is who's. My wife has a good head on her shoulders and knows how to spend money appropriately. I have no reason to worry.

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we have our money in one account.

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closetkpopfan posted...

Joint account for bills and groceries/living expenses. Separate accounts for everything else. We both put the 50% into the joint account, regardless of who makes more.

This makes the most sense.

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We havent opened up a joint account, but we both have free access to each other's account.

No need to to through the trouble of closing accounts, opening new ones, etc.

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We have two joint accounts. That's it.

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I'm getting married in June and what my fianc suggested we do (but we haven't talked too extensively about it yet), I think is each of us contributes an amount of our salary into a joint account for each check. That specific amount would be based on the total percentage that each of us contributes toward our total income.

So for example if together we make 100k as a dual income household, but I make 60k and she makes 40k, 60% of my paycheck goes into our joint account and 40% of her paycheck goes into our joint account.

This account would be used for bills, household items, date nights, etc.

The rest of our paycheck stays with us.. I think.

I don't know, we have to talk more about it lol

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closetkpopfan posted...

Joint account for bills and groceries/living expenses. Separate accounts for everything else. We both put the 50% into the joint account, regardless of who makes more.

When you say 50%, do you mean 50% of the money in the account, or 50% of each paycheck?

Mike Xtreme posted...

My wife and I were "old" by the time we got married so neither of us were too interested in combining our finances. I pay all the bills, she pays me back for half. We do have a joint savings account but that's the only thing we have in both our names.

Do you use it? Or have it in case you need it?

Relient_K posted...

We have one account. We make about the same (her take home pay is higher but I make a little more. Our insurance is through my job).

I manage the money because I'm better at planning ahead and better with numbers. So I pay the bills from our pooled accounts and I help set caps on our spending so that we don't go over budget.

It could be better but it works for us.

That sounds pretty good. And stable. Seems to be fine...

BlazinBlue88 posted...

This. Despite 80% of our income coming from me, we still don't differentiate between who's money is who's. My wife has a good head on her shoulders and knows how to spend money appropriately. I have no reason to worry.

Thats good. I know some people who have SOs that kind spend way too much sometimes...

BuckVanHammer posted...

we have our money in one account.

Do you still have any separate accounts? Or just the one joint one?

DifferentialEquation posted...

This makes the most sense.

While I do agree it makes sense, I cant say the most. That depends on the family and their situation. While it may work for many, it may not work for everybody...

Jeff AKA Snoopy posted...

We havent opened up a joint account, but we both have free access to each other's account.

No need to to through the trouble of closing accounts, opening new ones, etc.

Oh. That works, as well. It can be bothersome to open up new accounts when you can just get access to each others account? Do you have the same bank? Because that would be even better. Easier to transfer money.
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Firewerx posted...

We have two joint accounts. That's it.

Checking and savings? Or did you both change you own accounts into joint accounts?

AlCalavicci posted...

I'm getting married in June and what my fianc suggested we do (but we haven't talked too extensively about it yet), I think is each of us contributes an amount of our salary into a joint account for each check. That specific amount would be based on the total percentage that each of us contributes toward our total income.

So for example if together we make 100k as a dual income household, but I make 60k and she makes 40k, 60% of my paycheck goes into our joint account and 40% of her paycheck goes into our joint account.

This account would be used for bills, household items, date nights, etc.

The rest of our paycheck stays with us.. I think.

I don't know, we have to talk more about it lol

Yeah. This is basically what Suze Orman said. She said to base it on your total monthly income and the percentage each on pays. But instead on it being a joint account, you just paid that much for bills. So, add up all the bills, and you would pay 60% of the bills and she would pay 40% in your example. Though, the joint account also works...
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EvalAngell posted...

me and my wife still have separate checking accounts. But we also opened a joint savings account which has our "nest egg" in it. i refuse to merge the checking accounts though. I know her spending habits. I pay all the bills and she gives me a flat amount towards everything each month. As long as she gives her portion of the bills, she can blow HER money however she wants.

Basically how my wife and I do it.

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Joint account at a credit union, which is one checking account and four savings accounts (emergency fund, vacation fund, home projects fund, and comic con fund (we try to go to a couple cons a year)).

Our mortgage, both car payments, and utility bills all come out of our checking account on auto pay.

Every other bill is autopaid by a credit card that earns 1.5% cashback. All of our groceries are bought on another card that gets 3% cashback at grocery stores.

We don't use our debit card for anything. All spending goes on the two cards, then gets paid back when the statement hits. I found it to be easier that way - we had $1000 a month to spend on whatever we want after paying bills, groceries, gas, and savings. Originally I had it so we'd have $250 a week, but sometimes we would overspend by a bit, like $20-50 a week. Putting it all on credit makes it so we can't overspend week-to-week. Once that $1000 is spent on the card for the month, we're done spending. Sometimes we have a surplus, sometimes we're done 20 days in. Usually we're pretty good with it though.

We don't really consider anything to be "my bill" or "her bill," or "my paycheck" or "her paycheck." Everything is just ours.

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I wonder how Jeff Bezos did it with his (ex) wife

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We've kept our banking accounts. I use mine to pay the credit card bill (which is shared). She uses hers to pay the mortgage and transfer any excess to the offset which is in both our names too.

Basically our separate bank accounts are used to receive money to put elsewhere. Works out fine.

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Joint account.

I do most of the investing and saving but that's just because I handle the finances. I fully understand if we ever split that it would also be split.

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Cleo_II posted...

This. There is no my money or his money in our marriage.

Fail.

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Super Saiyan 3 Goku posted...

Basically how my wife and I do it.

Do either of you ever ask the other for a little money?

littlebro07 posted...

Joint account at a credit union, which is one checking account and four savings accounts (emergency fund, vacation fund, home projects fund, and comic con fund (we try to go to a couple cons a year)).

Our mortgage, both car payments, and utility bills all come out of our checking account on auto pay.

Every other bill is autopaid by a credit card that earns 1.5% cashback. All of our groceries are bought on another card that gets 3% cashback at grocery stores.

We don't use our debit card for anything. All spending goes on the two cards, then gets paid back when the statement hits. I found it to be easier that way - we had $1000 a month to spend on whatever we want after paying bills, groceries, gas, and savings. Originally I had it so we'd have $250 a week, but sometimes we would overspend by a bit, like $20-50 a week. Putting it all on credit makes it so we can't overspend week-to-week. Once that $1000 is spent on the card for the month, we're done spending. Sometimes we have a surplus, sometimes we're done 20 days in. Usually we're pretty good with it though.

We don't really consider anything to be "my bill" or "her bill," or "my paycheck" or "her paycheck." Everything is just ours.

I've actually been thinking about doing the credit card thing, tbh... I think I would like that much better...

Rob Cesternino posted...

I wonder how Jeff Bezos did it with his (ex) wife

Hmmm... Idk...

Darmik posted...

We've kept our banking accounts. I use mine to pay the credit card bill (which is shared). She uses hers to pay the mortgage and transfer any excess to the offset which is in both our names too.

Basically our separate bank accounts are used to receive money to put elsewhere. Works out fine.

Yeah. That also seems like it would work well...
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NES4EVER posted...

Joint account.

I do most of the investing and saving but that's just because I handle the finances. I fully understand if we ever split that it would also be split.

Yeah. Hopefully, that won't happen. But if it does, hopefully it won't be too hard...

Pepys Monster posted...

Fail.

You don't agree? Why is that?
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Zangulus posted...

My wife has an online checking account in her name. We have a savings account, checking account, and hsa jointly.

She doesnt work, the account for her is for the money she gets from doing random stuff online. Watching videos, doing surveys. We get money back on purchases through one of those websites. So thats all hers for fucking around with. She spends most of it on games.

She had access to the rest of the accounts but I handle all the bill paying and money making.

Ah. I see. Seems like it's working well...
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PrideOfLion posted...

We have one account we put our paychecks in. Well, technically we have a bank account each we had before we were married, but we have maybe a couple hundred in them and honestly don't even think about them most of the time.

She has a couple credit cards, I have the rest. Generally speaking, I buy everything on one of mine if we're together. She prefers I handle the bills so I make sure to pay them off on time.
We each have a 401k and a roth IRA in our names (legally because they have to be), that we max out every year

Yeah. I think it's always good to still have an account in your name. Even if you don't use it much...
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Separate accounts. Even split 50/50. Use an app to manage/keep track of bills and who owes what.

Stalolin posted...

Separate accounts. Even split 50/50. Use an app to manage/keep track of bills and who owes what.

Oh. What app do you use?
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LinkPizza posted...

Oh. What app do you use?

Splitwise.

We each kept our own accounts but we both have full access to each to send money it needed for anything. Small purchases aren't usually an issue. Large ones are talked about. I make the majority of the money. Been working for over a decade. Just good old fashioned self control and communication.

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Stalolin posted...

Splitwise.

I've never heard of it. I might check it out...

Shadow20201 posted...

We each kept our own accounts but we both have full access to each to send money it needed for anything. Small purchases aren't usually an issue. Large ones are talked about. I make the majority of the money. Been working for over a decade. Just good old fashioned self control and communication.

Communication it key. It's a big part of things, imo... Good communication definitely helps!
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Mike Xtreme posted...

My wife and I were "old" by the time we got married so neither of us were too interested in combining our finances. I pay all the bills, she pays me back for half. We do have a joint savings account but that's the only thing we have in both our names.

This is how me and my fiancee handle things and how we plan to continue with it. We keep track of things on a white board on the fridge and then she just pays me once a month. She prefers to not have to worry about paying individual bills.

Both of us make enough to be comfortable and around the same amount but we enjoy the freedom of not having to feel bad if we want to blow a bunch of money since it doesn't really effect the other one, or in her case financially bailing out family members.

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Jiek_Fafn posted...

This is how me and my fiancee handle things and how we plan to continue with it. We keep track of things on a white board on the fridge and then she just pays me once a month. She prefers to not have to worry about paying individual bills.

Both of us make enough to be comfortable and around the same amount but we enjoy the freedom of not having to feel bad if we want to blow a bunch of money since it doesn't really effect the other one, or in her case financially bailing out family members.

I actually do the whiteboard thing with my roommate. It helps me keep track of everything pretty well. I haven't been using it as much as I normally do, lately...

And I also help my family back home when I can...
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To answer, if you have a joint account, your wife could clean it out and leave you, and youd have zero legal recourse. Its a terrible fucking idea.

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