Current Events > kinda ghosted a girl last week and I feel like a piece of shit

(+) Yeah! (+)

We match on tinder, shes kinda aggressive but Im going with it, we move to snapchat she gets more overtly sexual and I go w it and we ~do things~ as well as talk some more, talk about hanging out after quarantine, etc but over the next few days things that were making me double take a little bit evolve into shit thats making me suuuper uncomfortable. Like in normal conversation shes talking in like borderline little speak or some shit and thats weirding me out, talks about how she likes to put a belt around her beck at parties so people can just grab her and makeout w her, and finally within like 3? 4? days of us first talking she starts calling me my babiiii and shit, at which point I am all the way entirely freaked out and stop hitting her up/dont know how to communicate this effectively and get s h o o k. She didnt hit -me- up more than once and when she did I responded, but still.

Today she just hits me with like :( and shit, so I told her Ive been dealing with a lot and that I got freaked out talking to someone so soon after my previous, very bad, relationship, and apologized for not knowing how to communicate that/ghosting her. She just replied w its ok..

I feel like a sleazy sack of crap ce. Am I, or am I just beating myself up over basically nothing?

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Pics?

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butthole666 posted...

Like in normal conversation shes talking in like borderline little speak

you are justified

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Sounds like you did nothing wrong

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also this is not the 37 year old who is super chill with my boundaries and I am comfortable communicating with/still hitting it off very well with.

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Pulysses posted...

you are justified

Also she is self-identified e-girl who has an alt instagram thats linked in her main ig bio but private, where she posts dirty-ass shit presumably; I have only been sent a post (by her) but never followed this acct because I thought that was weird as fuck

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"Little speak, lets strangers grab her and makeout with her at parties, started calling you baby after a couple days of talking"

She let of major red flags you're justified in noping out of there.

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TheGoldenEel posted...

Sounds like you did nothing wrong

I have a lot of guilt around this bc of my past couple relationships being as dangerously unhinged psychopaths, as well as a couple instances years ago where I would freak out over shit that was completely in my own head and actually ghost people

I felt like this was more a Im super not okay with this though

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butthole666 posted...

Also she is self-identified e-girl who has an alt instagram thats linked in her main ig bio but private, where she posts dirty-ass shit presumably

there's nothing wrong with this in and of itself. i think the biggest issues are the little speak, the belt shit, and the hitting you up out of the blue with just a sad emoji

All red flags to me but I aint Hitch so take what I say with a grain of salt. I am also known to make regretful decisions when it comes to sex and hardly have what people would call a healthy view on the matter

See what the consensus is ITT but I'd ghost for sure

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good on you tbh, sounds like trouble

Pulysses posted...

there's nothing wrong with this in and of itself. i think the biggest issues are the little speak, the belt shit, and the hitting you up out of the blue with just a sad emoji

All red flags to me but I aint Hitch so take what I say with a grain of salt. I am also known to make regretful decisions when it comes to sex and hardly have what people would call a healthy view on the matter

See what the consensus is ITT but I'd ghost for sure

I knkw theres nothing wrong w it but idk, the way she ~is~ about it was kinda... off

and yeah Im in much the same boat. Sex is weird for me. The weird typing that bordered on little speak (y with ii, adding either to the end of random words for emphasis, childish/overly-innocent shit etc), the clinginess... nah boss

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Yeah I say ditch her then. Don't wanna push your comfort zone while things are still raw from the past couple years. I did that and now I'm a miserable sack who hates sex, don't be me bro. Stick with what you know you're comfortable with imo

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The 37 y/o by contrast has also had bad experiences and is just like, really great when I tell her Im having a bad time/has told me I handle things equally well

which is sikk

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You'll find a surprising amount of people are understanding about that kind of thing. If I ever got overwhelmed and was honest about why I was feeling/acting off I didn't get anyone who wasn't accepting of it. My perceptions were really screwy for a while there but people tend to be good about this in my experience.

And when they're good about it it's almost like you think they're lying or pulling one over on you somehow even tho they're not

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Drop her. All of those add up to bad red flags, with her being a self-identified e-girl as the cherry on top.
Nothing good will come of getting involved with that kind of girl. And I don't think what you did counts as ghosting but taking a step back from talking to her.

Don't do this to yourself. Being in a relationship with that kind of girl is almost always bad news.

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butthole666 posted...

The 37 y/o by contrast has also had bad experiences and is just like, really great when I tell her Im having a bad time/has told me I handle things equally well

marry this one

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If you gave her a reason you were breaking things off and didn't just start ignoring her completely, you didn't ghost her. Sounds like you ended it the way you're supposed to.

It's not ghosting if you haven't even met. And I've heard people say it's not ghosting unless you're in an agreed-on relationship. I do think if you've gone out before though, you should at least do a courtesy "not interested anymore" text.

But yeah, women are encouraged to block you on dating websites/apps if they feel uncomfortable. This is pretty much that.

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Alright, thanks dudes, I feel a lot better

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Nah women do that shit all the time. Giver 'er a taste of their own medicine.

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NOM posted...

Nah women do that shit all the time. Giver 'er a taste of their own medicine.

Well, no

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Hairistotle posted...

lmao, you're a good dude, bhole

lmao, fuckin glad somebody thinks so

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Demon1050 posted...

good on you tbh, sounds like trouble

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she has been posting up a storm today about wanting cuddolzz and puppi likkzzzz

like bro what the fuck is your deal

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butthole666 posted...

We match on tinder, shes kinda aggressive but Im going with it, we move to snapchat she gets more overtly sexual and I go w it and we ~do things~ as well as talk some more, talk about hanging out after quarantine, etc but over the next few days things that were making me double take a little bit evolve into shit thats making me suuuper uncomfortable. Like in normal conversation shes talking in like borderline little speak or some shit and thats weirding me out, talks about how she likes to put a belt around her beck at parties so people can just grab her and makeout w her, and finally within like 3? 4? days of us first talking she starts calling me my babiiii and shit, at which point I am all the way entirely freaked out and stop hitting her up/dont know how to communicate this effectively and get s h o o k. She didnt hit -me- up more than once and when she did I responded, but still.

Today she just hits me with like :( and shit, so I told her Ive been dealing with a lot and that I got freaked out talking to someone so soon after my previous, very bad, relationship, and apologized for not knowing how to communicate that/ghosting her. She just replied w its ok..

I feel like a sleazy sack of crap ce. Am I, or am I just beating myself up over basically nothing?

You should give me a way to contact her

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Hairistotle posted...

I don't even know what that second phrase is supposed to mean. Puppy likes? Oh, puppy licks.

Oh

I think thats more bc her dog died recently or something I dont know

just fucking type like a human being what is this brain melting shit man

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Age regression is usually caused by some kind of traumatic experience to relieve stress/whatever. If that's the reasoning behind it fine. But if it's a kink to her that's just weird

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She keeps subbing me in ig stories lol



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What the f at the belt thing

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Awesome posted...

What the f at the belt thing

Yeah that was uh

yeah

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You kind of told her what your deal was so it's no big deal. Don't beat yourself up for feeling uncomfortable.

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it's always your right to ghost

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If youre not okay with her and her behavior, end communication now. Imo if you feel uncomfortable, ghosting someone is okay.

It sounds like you have a lot of issues with past exes being nuts. By the sound of it chick is another one of those. Respect your limitations, avoid her and move on. You deserve to feel comfortable and safe in a given scenario.

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