Current Events > Am I the asshole in this story? (McDonald's refund)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Went through McDonald's drive thru (wore a mask to be safe, also I don't do this much during coronatimes). Anyway I ordered a large shake and they charged me for a large shake but then when I made it to the window where they give you the food they said they aren't selling shakes now. The girl working there seemed kinda stressed and so all her social cues were like "hurry up hurry up" and so she was like "can I give you a replacement?" and panickedly I said "uh... a mcflurry" and so she gave me one and I was thinking to myself "wait that costs less" and then I started being like "wait how much does this cost?" and she (implying she thought I thought I had to pay for it) said "don't worry about it, thanks, bye" and really rushed me along. So I pulled out of there.

Context: I've been very depressed for a long time and I recognize that part of that is I never stand up for myself, I've been taken advantage of by my old roommates to the tune of hundreds of dollars and there are other examples of me being taken advantage of. I'm trying to turn my life around and so I've become more aware of when I feel I might be taken advantage of. And as I was driving away I pulled over into a parking spot and thought about it for a moment. I thought "hold up, they just charged me for a 3.50ish item and gave me a 2.50ish item and rushed me along. That wasn't fair to me."

Now I don't want to be a Karen, but as I thought about it I thought objectively they took advantage of me to an extent. So I decided to quickly go through the drive-thru again but just to ask for the difference back from the money guy in the first window.

So I pulled up and quickly and politely explained 'I paid for a shake, they gave me a mcflurry instead, I'd like a refund for the difference'. Firstly what is annoying they have a plexiglass barrier that covers everything but the bottom of the window so we aren't breathing corona on each other. But the moment I started talking this guy stuck his head through the hole in the bottom of the window. I considered very much saying "dude, that defeats the purpose of the window" but I was wearing a mask and didn't want to draw out the conversation. Anyway after I finished explaining that I wanted the difference back he very overtly rolled his eyes and asked the person next to him to help him give me one, and then I got the difference back, which turned out to be 75 cents.

I know these employees are young, and stressed and overworked. That's why I was forgiving of him being dumb and didn't scold him for sticking his head out the window, but I think it's fair to myself to ask for money back if people take it from me unfairly.

Still the whole situation makes me feel like somebody who people on the internet would call a "male Karen" or something, and his eye rolling made me wonder if I was the asshole in the scenario or not.

Would most people have let it go? Yes. But am I an asshole for trying to be fair to myself and doing what I did?

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You should have just responded to her directly in the first place, which is really how you need to stand up for yourself anyway. I think you're emphasizing the money to sort of trick yourself into thinking that by going back you were righting a wrong, but the ultimate wrong you want to right is that you couldn't tell someone that misunderstood you what you actually meant, not 75 cents or some kind of recompense of principle

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Balrog0 posted...

You should have just responded to her directly in the first place, which is really how you need to stand up for yourself anyway. I think you're emphasizing the money to sort of trick yourself into thinking that by going back you were righting a wrong, but the ultimate wrong you want to right is that you couldn't tell someone that misunderstood you what you actually meant, not 75 cents or some kind of recompense of principle

I agree with you in retrospect, but the social cues were super heavy. I'm usually good at not being "suggestible" like that. But she had such "I'm in a hurry, everything is good right? Ok great bye" energy, and it came from a authentic place where she did seem stressed and busy and thinking she was helping so that before I really had time to think about it I had started pulling away.

I really think most people in that scenario wouldn't have even tried to bring up the money difference because of the social pressure. That said you are still right about what I should have done.

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there are two reasons here: your money and your ego

wanting your money back doesn't make you an asshole. how you behave, what your intents are, and what your reasoning is could make you one, though.

most people wouldn't have gone back and brought up the money because they don't think 75 cents is worth it. it's not always about responding to social pressures.

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What you did was fine. They shouldn't be charging people for things they aren't selling and hopefully the inconvenience of giving people refunds will make them better. More people should do this, but you should have asked right away.

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You shouldnt have left in the first place. You gotta bring this up when you realize it. When you see shes trying to get you to go, thats right where you want them to be. They want you gone, you stay put until you get what you need.

you did okay but dont leave until youre happy.

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Holy shit that would not have been worth my time.

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Ludwig Von 2 posted...

you did okay but dont leave until youre happy.

this. i had to get a substitution for nuggets. they didn't have any more original. had to get extra spicy for no extra charge. more of an upgrade imo.
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Sada_Pop posted...

Holy shit that would not have been worth my time.

thats why you gotta bring it up right when you realize the problem. Then its no extra time at all.

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What you did was fine, in the future get the refund right away so you don't have to go back. It is the company's job to provide satisfactory service to their customers. When an employee or business is overrun with customers you don't need to put yourself in a position you don't feel comfortable with to make their jobs easier or provide a better experience for others. Just be polite and respectful and no one will bat an eye.

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Trust me I get it, its not about the money its about the respect.

The only thing you did wrong was not confronting her then and there. If you were ready to leave the McDonalds having not got your refund then you don't deserve to go back. I would've let it go anyways, whats a couple of cents.

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if youre so broke that you get back in line to get a dollar back then maybe you shouldnt be in the drive through to begin with?

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OffTempo posted...

If you were ready to leave the McDonalds having not got your refund then you don't deserve to go back.

This is objectively wrong.

DeathDeathSong posted...

if youre so broke that you get back in line to get a dollar back then maybe you shouldnt be in the drive through to begin with?

This guy is just trying to troll you.

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To all those saying "you shouldn't have left" while I agree, I think you might forget just how much the motor memory and social conditioning makes moving on almost automatic.

I was starting to realize I was losing out on money as she was ushering me along, but it took me a moment to actually think before I realized "no, that actually is unfair." And I think it probably would have been rude to just sit there for a minute as I thought about the moral quandary.

It's ridiculous how much people do things that are stupid due to social pressure:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8BkzvP19v4

I usually test low on "suggestibility" tests so while, yes everybody is right that from a distanced objective analysis I should have spoken up immediately, I bet at least a couple of you would've done the same thing before you caught yourself.

That said, thanks for the feedback. I feel better about my decision.

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IfGodCouldDie posted...

This is objectively wrong.

This guy is just trying to troll you.

Thanks I am sometimes not good at picking up on who is being serious too.

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Not asshole at all.

Dont give a fuck when fast food people try to rush you. They arent your friend, you dont owe them, their job is food service. If they wana get an attitude, there are ways to handle that. And never drive away before checking your bag, separate but i always tell people that.

Keith_Valentine posted...

Not asshole at all.

Dont give a fuck when fast food people try to rush you. They arent your friend, you dont owe them, their job is food service. If they wana get an attitude, there are ways to handle that. And never drive away before checking your bag, separate but i always tell people that.

I've been burned a lot by that too. I try to check but when there is a big line I do feel guilty.

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The point I am more trying to make is that use this experience that you had to change how you do things in the future. It's obviously to late to change how you handled it, but you can change how you handle it in the future. Part of getting respect and not being taken advantage of is knowing what you want and being able to make decisions you will be happy with in the moment. If that is not something you have been good at, it will take time and relearning to get there. The fact that you are starting to make those changes is a very positive sign and just keep staying aware of how things make you feel and do the best you can to correct them until it becomes natural for you to get what you want when you want it.

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joe40001 posted...

I've been burned a lot by that too. I try to check but when there is a big line I do feel guilty.

Don't. I have been burned too many times and when they ask me to pull up to a parking spot to wait I flat out say no and I explain why. I do it politely and they will either say that they will double check my order before bringing it out or they let me sit there so I can check it before I leave.

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I dont think youre an asshole for it at all but it is perceived that way depending on how it is handled and the initial response.

I had a similar thing happen at TBell last week but they only gave me part of the order and didnt give me a chicken quesadilla (the other three items I got were $1 items). I normally check my bag because fast food in general often messes up, but with COVID, I took off for home.

Got home and realized so I called about ten minutes after I left, they answered, I said I was just there and was wondering what my options were and the guy said, OMG, we left your quesadilla on and it burnt to a crisp. I was laughing about it but they said to come back whenever and theyd get me one.

I did go back and the manager handed me the quesadilla and two free coupons for tacos.

I didnt feel it was a big deal and they were really nice about it and polite. It took all of five minutes to drive back there and a 30 second phone call. If the quesadilla wasnt the biggest item in the order and why I originally went to get something, Id probably have just let it be.

Ive had plenty of things messed up that were under a dollar in an order before and just said fuck it. Annoying but I dont feel worth the bother unless I catch it at the window.

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Why is everything you write so insufferable

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NinjaBreakfast posted...

Why is everything you write so insufferable

Says the guy coming into a topic just to be rude.

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NinjaBreakfast posted...

Why is everything you write so insufferable

Insufferable how?

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metallica846 posted...

I think spending money on frozen treats when 75 cents is important to you is the travesty here.

Being fair to myself is important to me.

Also I try not to waste money whenever I can avoid it.

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metallica846 posted...

I think spending money on frozen treats when 75 cents is important to you is the travesty here.

The real travesty is you not understanding what the topic is clearly about.

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what you did was fine, but i do want to say that while i understand that you want to stand up for yourself to help with confidence and all that, but you need to choose your battles, not make a mountain out of everything. in this situation the employee who offered you a replacement wasn't giving you a cheaper item to get back at you or wrong you intentionally. I'd imagine they might have been busy, probably were getting a lot of orders and dealing with other things, and now one of her co workers rang up an item they don't have and now she has to be the one to deal with it. Standing up for yourself an wanting to show mare assertiveness is fine, but just be careful that you aren't doing it like a Zombie every time any little thing occurs.

If this was me i'd say "Whatever, 75 cents they didn't mean it"....if it happened multiple times with the same restaurant/employees then i'd step in and say something. Just saying that part of helping with your confidence and anxiety could be how you deal with small situations and using that to justify making an issue out of everything could end up having the opposite effect you want. I speak from experience. my own yes and yours could be different. just offering some advice.

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IfGodCouldDie posted...

This guy is just trying to troll you.

hey you know misgendering is moddable right
and im dead ass serious, who the fuck literally takes the time to get back into a drive through line over a fucking dollar
anyway the answer to tcs question in the topic title? yes, 100%

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Arent you morbidly obese joe? The hell are you doing going to McDonalds.

metallica846 posted...

Just go to the store and buy ice cream. More for less.

I would if these weren't 'rona times.

Being by 1 person who should be behind plexiglass for like 1 minute in the drive thru is considerably safer than being around like 80 people in walmart for like 10 minutes

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ZTT888returning posted...

Arent you morbidly obese joe? The hell are you doing going to McDonalds.

The same thing everybody who goes to McDonalds is doing.

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Ludwig Von 2 posted...

thats why you gotta bring it up right when you realize the problem. Then its no extra time at all.

My guy if 75 is a "problem", there are much bigger things going on.

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DeathDeathSong posted...

hey you know misgendering is moddable right
and im dead ass serious, who the fuck literally takes the time to get back into a drive through line over a fucking dollar
anyway the answer to tcs question in the topic title? yes, 100%

Considering we have never had an interaction with each other that would inform me of your gender I hope you can forgive me. It was not intentional. Either way, he is not an asshole for getting HIS money back. Just because you wouldn't go back for a dollar does not mean you would not be entitled to it if you so chose to go back for it.

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You're in the right but watch how some user here make you out a karen.

VipaGTS posted...

what you did was fine, but i do want to say that while i understand that you want to stand up for yourself to help with confidence and all that, but you need to choose your battles, not make a mountain out of everything. in this situation the employee who offered you a replacement wasn't giving you a cheaper item to get back at you or wrong you intentionally. I'd imagine they might have been busy, probably were getting a lot of orders and dealing with other things, and now one of her co workers rang up an item they don't have and now she has to be the one to deal with it. Standing up for yourself an wanting to show mare assertiveness is fine, but just be careful that you aren't doing it like a Zombie every time any little thing occurs.

If this was me i'd say "Whatever, 75 cents they didn't mean it"....if it happened multiple times with the same restaurant/employees then i'd step in and say something. Just saying that part of helping with your confidence and anxiety could be how you deal with small situations and using that to justify making an issue out of everything could end up having the opposite effect you want. I speak from experience. my own yes and yours could be different. just offering some advice.

I made a point to try not to be rude at all. That said I am remarkably good at coming up with excuses for other people. Even people who tricked me into "loaning" them 80 dollars and then never paying me back.

My former roommate owes me 300 dollars and I still have told myself good excuses for why. "He wasn't hear often, so should he really owe for utilities? He tried his best. etc"

As long as I'm not rude, I do feel like i need to perhaps slightly over-correct to make sure I'm fair to myself, because I know my instincts are to be fair to everybody else and put me last.

I think I can be fair to myself without making a mountain out of anything. It's not making a mountain out of it to ask for what is fairly yours, right?

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Sada_Pop posted...

My guy if 75 is a "problem", there are much bigger things going on.

He has already stated it's less about the money and more about learning to be more assertive and not being taken advantage of.

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PrideOfLion posted...

What stands out to me is that you feel taken advantaged of. I promise you, the average McDonald's employee is not trying to screw over customers by overcharging them 75 cents. She wasn't thinking about it, just trying to figure out how to fix the situation of no shakes because there are plenty of customers who insult and berate her over that.
You're obviously entitled to your money, but I can't imagine going back for it (but I don't know your situation so ignore if it's that dire).

I should be clear. I don't think I was intentionally taken advantage of. But it's kinda like I think the old roommates probably didn't plan on not paying me back. Loads of things like this where I can't necessarily attribute malice to the other person.

One I'm good at standing up about is when somebody tried to take my seats at a movie that had pre-assigned seating. Did they know they were in somebody else's seats? I can't say. But it was still fair to me to stand up for myself.

I'm not mad at people, I'm just trying to be fair to myself, and that means trying to get yourself treated fairly even if the mistreatment is an accident. Right?

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Get this Reddit shit off ce

Honestly, as someone who has worked drive thru for food service, it's their fault that they rang you up for a shake when they aren't doing shakes at that time. It can be hard to remember what you're out of sometimes but you still gotta. A shake is something that is easy to remember, so this is on whoever rang it up.

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They were rude, but Mcdonalds employees are generally kind of are. I wouldn't have bothered with the refund but you're not in the wrong for it

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joe40001 posted...

then I got the difference back, which turned out to be 75 cents.

Lmfao god damn Karens

I don't think this has anything to do with being depressed about not standing up for yourself but rather you just realized their error a little late. It happens all the time.

But obviously the workers made a mistake on their part and didn't offer you an item of equal value. If they weren't rushing their work due to busyness or pressure they should have refunded the dollar or throw in a small fry for you. Stuff like this is how restaurants get bad yelp reviews.

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Blue_Target posted...

I don't think this has anything to do with being depressed about not standing up for yourself but rather you just realized their error a little late. It happens all the time.

But obviously the workers made a mistake on their part and didn't offer you an item of equal value. If they weren't rushing their work due to busyness or pressure they should have refunded the dollar or throw in a small fry for you. Stuff like this is how restaurants get bad yelp reviews.

To be fair people leave bad yelp reviews for shit even more petty reasons than this. There are some really bad ones on there.

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You're not an asshole, but you let your past experiences turn this into something bigger than it was

You shouldn't have gone back, you should have just told yourself "next time this happens, instead I'll do or say this"
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Sada_Pop posted...

To be fair people leave bad yelp reviews for shit even more petty reasons than this. There are some really bad ones on there.

Thats how Yelp reviews are. One small error will lower your score no matter what the reasons are. Point is they made an error.

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