Current Events > There's a weird business culture to never apologize

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Drpooplol
05/14/20 11:04:22 AM
#1:


And honestly it's pretty toxic.

I'm covering for a colleague who is out for a couple of weeks, and I get an email from a producer from another company for a client that my coworker forgot to order a requirement for. He CC'd my director so I knew I had to take care of shit right away. I ordered the requirement and replied "Sorry for that falling through the cracks, it's taken care of now." Like 5 minutes later the director told me to never apologize to the field. Even though providing good customer service is a staple of our business and our side definitely did fuck up.

It happens intra-department as well. When my colleagues fuck something up, they never apologize. It's like they think it'll somehow cover up that they made a mistake. It's really annoying and to me demonstrates that you don't want to take responsibility for your actions.

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knutjob
05/14/20 11:05:54 AM
#2:


Apologising puts focus on the mistake rather than the solution
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#3
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Squall28
05/14/20 11:06:50 AM
#4:


Apologizing means admitting fault. People always flip things to make themselves look good. So many fuckers like to flip it to "you didn't explain the problem right!"

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MC_BatCommander
05/14/20 11:07:13 AM
#5:


You can apologize for things without actually saying you're sorry.

Stuff like "thank you for your patience" or "thanks for following up!" sound way more positive.

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Feline_Heart
05/14/20 11:07:25 AM
#6:


If a company admits that they're at fault with something then the other person can sue them because you've already admitted that you're the one to blame. That's why the director told you to never apologize

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EndOfDiscOne
05/14/20 11:08:08 AM
#7:


A lot of times you think you fucked up, the other party doesn't realize it's your fault or that there was even a problem. Only apologize when they clearly think you're at fault.

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Drpooplol
05/14/20 11:09:07 AM
#8:


MC_BatCommander posted...
Stuff like "thank you for your patience" or "thanks for following up!" sound way more positive.
These are not apologies.

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Pus_N_Pecans
05/14/20 11:11:00 AM
#9:


Yep, its a widespread issue and not just limited to the business world. It shouldnt be considered weak to accept responsibility for your actions.

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Cobra1010
05/14/20 11:11:13 AM
#10:


Because if they apologise, the next thing is, they'll get sued.

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Drpooplol
05/14/20 11:12:31 AM
#11:


lamo trust me people, we wouldn't get sued over this mistake

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Questionmarktarius
05/14/20 11:32:04 AM
#12:


What useful purpose does an apology serve, over just resolving the issue?
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DoctorPiranha3
05/14/20 11:34:48 AM
#13:


"Sorry about the delay"

Is usually how I apologize through email when I forget to do shit. If it's a phone call, you can be a little more honest or upfront if they probe on it.
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AlisLandale
05/14/20 11:34:56 AM
#14:


Questionmarktarius posted...
What useful purpose does an apology serve, over just resolving the issue?

As early as kindergarten, people are taught basic humility. And part of that is acknowledging that you messed up.

i mean, I guess from a purely utilitarian POV its superfluous. But then, so is literally any contact beyond your issue is resolved. Bye

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Jiek_Fafn
05/14/20 11:36:15 AM
#15:


Admitting a mistake is fine if you have a solution for how to avoid that mistake in the future. Sometimes protocol could use some tweaking because if it happens once it can happen again. Don't just say that you fucked up and shrug your shoulders. Your apologies don't really mean anything if I still have to worry about it happening again.

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HBOSS
05/14/20 11:36:57 AM
#16:


protect tha business at all costs.

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Colorahdo
05/14/20 11:38:27 AM
#17:


In EMS we were taught to always blame the patient

If I ever totally messed up getting an IV I'd just be all "hey try not to move so much next time, k"

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Drpooplol
05/14/20 11:38:51 AM
#18:


DoctorPiranha3 posted...
"Sorry about the delay"

Is usually how I apologize through email when I forget to do shit. If it's a phone call, you can be a little more honest or upfront if they probe on it.
Same here, and I say how I'm fixing it, ofc.

In this situation I didn't want to say "Jerry fucked up, I'm on it" because interpersonal relationships are also important in the business world, which a lot of people in this topic don't seem to understand!

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g980
05/14/20 11:39:17 AM
#19:


knutjob posted...
Apologising puts focus on the mistake rather than the solution

This is the real answer

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Drpooplol
05/14/20 11:39:45 AM
#20:


Colorahdo posted...
In EMS we were taught to always blame the patient

If I ever totally messed up getting an IV I'd just be all "hey try not to move so much next time, k"
that makes more sense, but it's also a lot more shitty lol. (I'm not blaming you at all for doing it, btw)

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Doe
05/14/20 11:42:52 AM
#21:


I'm probably changing my major from business to math & econ because business majors are basically intellectually empty. The whole program feels like a 4 year trade school to learn how to use Excel and skate by in group projects.

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Drpooplol
05/14/20 11:44:07 AM
#22:


Doe posted...
I'm probably changing my major from business to math & econ because business majors are basically intellectually empty. The whole program feels like a 4 year trade school to learn how to use Excel and skate by in group projects.
what year of your program are you in

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Squall28
05/14/20 11:50:40 AM
#23:


Doe posted...
I'm probably changing my major from business to math & econ because business majors are basically intellectually empty. The whole program feels like a 4 year trade school to learn how to use Excel and skate by in group projects.

That's the real world baby. Bonus points if you do nothing in group projects, but offer to present.

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g980
05/14/20 12:13:37 PM
#24:


Doe posted...
I'm probably changing my major from business to math & econ because business majors are basically intellectually empty. The whole program feels like a 4 year trade school to learn how to use Excel and skate by in group projects.

All of this still applies if you change majors

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Flockaveli
05/14/20 12:16:12 PM
#25:


It's a boomer thing.

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Lost_All_Senses
05/14/20 12:18:31 PM
#26:


I never cared about apologies, just try harder. Why get caught up on a stock word that doesn't have to be genuine at all. Doing better is showing that they're genuinely sorry. Sorry has been used for manipulation more than it's used for actually apologising.

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Questionmarktarius
05/14/20 12:20:20 PM
#27:


AlisLandale posted...
As early as kindergarten, people are taught basic humility. And part of that is acknowledging that you messed up.
Everything you learned in kindergarten is completely wrong in the business world.
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Megaman50100
05/14/20 12:22:19 PM
#28:


Also in 'professional' psychology its better to appear confident and be wrong than to appear uncertain. This is a particular problem in medical professions.

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darkbuster
05/14/20 12:23:59 PM
#29:


I wish I could remember which one it was, but there's a TED talk that covers it, & it basically comes down to when apologizing, "then you look weak & ****". The worst part is that I can't even fully disagree with that evaluation. An apology is seen as an admission of guilt, which is why a company either doesn't apologize at all or not exactly admit what they're apologizing for.

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emblem boy
05/14/20 12:24:13 PM
#30:


Is an apology the same as owning a failure? Ive never heard anyone say anything negative about acknowledging a failure to do something
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AlisLandale
05/14/20 12:49:38 PM
#31:


Questionmarktarius posted...
Everything you learned in kindergarten is completely wrong in the business world.

Yes, American capitalism rewards sociopathy and narcissism. This isnt news.

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lilORANG
05/14/20 12:50:44 PM
#32:


Leroy Jethro Gibbs likes this post.
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MrMallard
05/14/20 12:54:32 PM
#33:


Yeah, it's because apologizing opens the business up to liability apparently. By admitting that you did something wrong, the worst case scenario is that somebody can sue the company, or at least generate some bad word of mouth about your business. You're expected to use like weasel words and shit, make it up to them without conceding that you fucked up. It's stupid.

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Paragon21XX
05/14/20 1:02:32 PM
#34:


Litigation attorneys love it when the defending party has already admitted fault at some point because it makes their case easier to win and win big, so the only winning move is to never admit fault by apologizing even if they are clearly in the wrong.
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Questionmarktarius
05/14/20 1:02:36 PM
#35:


MrMallard posted...
You're expected to use like weasel words and shit, make it up to them without conceding that you fucked up.
It's very rarely your fault, unless you've done something overtly malicious or grossly incompetent.

One of the first things you figure out in the "real world" is that customers don't know what they actually want - they only know what they don't like.
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Drpooplol
05/14/20 1:10:12 PM
#36:


g980 posted...
All of this still applies if you change majors
yeah that's what I was gonna get at, and then if they were like a freshman or sophomore, then just virtually everyone in college is like that.

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The23rdMagus
05/14/20 1:27:26 PM
#37:


I'm up-front. I screwed up, it's on me, I'll own it, and I'll make it better.

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berlyman101
05/14/20 1:33:20 PM
#38:


Depends on the type of mistake. If it's clearly on me, I'll own it. If I had one part in a process where other people messed up, or if I followed operating procedure and someone wasn't happy with it, you can fuck yourself if you try to pin it on me.

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#39
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Veggeta X
05/14/20 1:50:12 PM
#40:


Soft skills is hard

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Austin_Era_II
05/14/20 1:52:06 PM
#41:


g980 posted...
This is the real answer

This. Welcome to the corporate world. Solutions bro! We need solutions.

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Drpooplol
05/14/20 1:53:10 PM
#42:


Veggeta X posted...
Soft skills is hard
stop making excuses for being a bad poster.

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DevsBro
05/14/20 1:55:40 PM
#43:


I can understand the policy. Some companies and/or departments are so poorly run that they literally mostly stay afloat by finding someone else to blame.

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Veggeta X
05/14/20 1:57:24 PM
#44:


Drpooplol posted...
stop making excuses for being a bad poster.
It's true, though. Most users on the Internet don't even know what soft skills are. People IRL don't know it either.

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g980
05/14/20 1:58:21 PM
#45:


Not apologizing is also not the same as not taking ownership btw


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