Current Events > C/D: You feel that you live a pointless existence.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Confirm.

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Everyone does

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Not a nihilist, so no. Your life has whatever meaning you want it to have.

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Existence is pointless and resistance is futile.

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D

Everything serves a purpose; even this topic serves a purpose

D, i live to post on gamephaqs.gamespot.com

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Negative thoughts like this aren't worth focusing on. If you want to boil it down, everything it ultimately pointless if you want it to be. Instead focus on how amazing the fact that you are even alive and in a world like this. Even with all the warts, it's truly awe inspiring if you really dig deep into those types of thoughts.

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less than worthless, I'm a net negative on the world

LeperMessiahXX posted...

Instead focus on how amazing the fact that you are even alive and in a world like this. Even with all the warts, it's truly awe inspiring if you really dig deep into those types of thoughts.

Amazing? I have to disagree.

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LeperMessiahXX posted...

Negative thoughts like this aren't worth focusing on.

Negative? It's a liberating mind set if you see it another way.

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Unknown5uspect posted...

Negative? It's a liberating mind set if you see it another way.

I'm curious to know in what way tbh

Diogeknees posted...

Everyone does

Not even close to true.

But, Im on the fence. I just don't give this stuff any thought cause you're throwing everything into a black abyss. You will never get anywhere by thinking about it. Waste of mental energy. I just do right by my people and that's good enough for me.

Once you're good enough for yourself, you can start living.

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RedJackson posted...

I'm curious to know in what way tbh

No point, no pressure

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Not even close to true.

But, Im on the fence. I just don't give this stuff any thought cause you're throwing everything into a black abyss. You will never get anywhere by thinking about it. Waste of mental energy. I just do right by my people and that's good enough for me.

Once you're good enough for yourself, you can start living.

I know that something is trash when I see it, and that happens to apply to me, too.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Not even close to true.

I didn't mean that everyone feels their existence is pointless; I meant everyone has a pointless existence regardless of how the feel about it

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GrandConjuraton posted...

I know that something is trash when I see it, and that happens to apply to me, too.

Get yourself some help. I mean that seriously, talk to someone IRL about these thoughts.

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LeperMessiahXX posted...

Get yourself some help. I mean that seriously, talk to someone IRL about these thoughts.

I have a therapist and a psychiatrist i've been seeing for three years now, if that counts.

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GrandConjuraton posted...

I know that something is trash when I see it, and that happens to apply to me, too.

You can't know you're trash. We're all human, we can only theorize on ourselves. We can't be objective like that. You can think you're trash with all your heart, but that doesn't confirm it for anyone else and it doesn't make it a fact.

I'm actually a worse person (still dope tho) than I was when I felt like I was trash. All I did was change my perspective and realized I can learn to take the wheel of my own thoughts and slowly steer them in a different direction. And in a couple years I had turned it around almost 180.

However, none of this made me more satisfied with my outer experience. I still need to find hobbies and relationships to keep me happy. But shifting my perspective makes me way more capable of that now

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Diogeknees posted...

I didn't mean that everyone feels their existence is pointless; I meant everyone has a pointless existence regardless of how the feel about it

I thought that might be it. But it was about how others "feel" so I went off that. I feel your outlook tho. Again, I just don't think about that stuff. Cause the one thing I do know, is thinking about it is definitely pointless.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

You can't know you're trash. We're all human, we can only theorize on ourselves. We can't be objective like that. You can think you're trash with all your heart, but that doesn't confirm it for anyone else and it doesn't make it a fact.

Most people i've come in contact with would disagree with you. I don't add anything to the world, and honestly, i'm nothing but a resource drain.

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GrandConjuraton posted...

Most people i've come in contact with would disagree with you. I don't add anything to the world, and honestly, i'm nothing but a resource drain.

I'm on SSI, I could be considered the same from a lot of people's perspective. I don't care about those people tho. I only care what the people who actually get to know me think. And I have a feeling you got some projection type stuff going on where you read people wrong. You don't fit the profile of a person that is immediately disliked by others. You probably bottom out at people being indifferent to you. Which I know most people who meet me are probably indifferent as well. Shit, I could be the one projecting atm, but I have good intentions so I don't really give a shit. See how that works? Just have good intentions and push every other weight off you.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

I'm on SSI, I could be considered the same from a lot of people's perspective. I don't care about those people tho. I only care what the people who actually get to know me think. And I have a feeling you got some projection type stuff going on where you read people wrong. You don't fit the profile of a person that is immediately disliked by others. You probably bottom out at people being indifferent to you. Which I know most people who meet me are probably indifferent as well. s***, I could be the one projecting atm, but I have good intentions so I don't really give a s***. See how that works? Just have good intentions and push every other weight off you.

Indifference is something that does hurt and deter me, but there's been plenty of proof in the past that people genuinely dislike me (such as the bullying I went through during school), There's been little proof to the contrary, and indifference brings no comfort.

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GrandConjuraton posted...

Most people i've come in contact with would disagree with you. I don't add anything to the world, and honestly, i'm nothing but a resource drain.

If I didnt read your post I wouldnt have said to myself that I also need to start considering reaching out for help

Your post isnt pointless - it makes me want to champion your burdens and struggles, it makes me want to listen to my own internals and say people also struggle, and they take the time to put themselves out there when they are struggling - do not take this for granted, do not let someone struggle.. especially after hearing their words and then decide to do nothing

How can we all live hearing others struggle and stay silent in praising them for what they do.. were writing books/songs/movies on the wrong people if you ask me

GrandConjuraton posted...

Indifference is something that does hurt and deter me, but there's been plenty of proof in the past that people genuinely dislike me (such as the bullying I went through during school), There's been little proof to the contrary, and indifference brings no comfort.

Everyone got some form of bullying in high school. If you hung out in my high school circle you'd probably think most of us hated each other lol. You definitely shouldn't be still carrying with you. Also, if I held on to the stuff I did before 20, Id never forgive myself. The 10 years after that is who I am tho. You can't hold on to the stuff that happened in that stage of your life. Do you have people in your life that bring it up or something?

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"Everything is not pointless because I decide it isn't" is a pretty weak argument. The universe will go on regardless of whether or not there's any life in it.

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The_Korey posted...

"Everything is not pointless because I decide it isn't" is a pretty weak argument. The universe will go on regardless of whether or not there's any life in it.

You're missing the point. It's about feeling content while you're here and nothing bigger. It's not about making your life more or less pointless. It's about working on yourself from the inside out instead of the outside in.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Everyone got some form of bullying in high school. If you hung out in my high school circle you'd probably think most of us hated each other lol. You definitely shouldn't be still carrying with you. Also, if I held on to the stuff I did before 20, Id never forgive myself. The 10 years after that is who I am tho. You can't hold on to the stuff that happened in that stage of your life. Do you have people in your life that bring it up or something?

I find it a bit insulting that you would try to diminish it like that; most everyone was in on it, and even some of the teachers regularly crapped on me when I was in middle school. If I struggled with something, I had one teacher in particular who would alert the rest of the class to it and make it into a joke, and when he got tired of me asking for help, he just moved me to the main back of the room and ignored me for the rest of the year. I had him for two years, so having to see so much of him in particular was pretty frustrating and demoralizing. Aside from some physical violence, the students also loved to steal my things and hide them away (I almost ended up having to pay for a textbook because someone hid mine so well), I was regularly berated and excluded, and most generally did what they could do to make miserable. For example, I had some personal belongings ruined (like a book that I personally owned) once because some of them ganged up on me and pelted me with a ton of water balloons... and they didn't do that to anyone else, either. It was just me.

In high school, a lot of the bullying started to end (I did pick up a number of newer bullies, but they graduated before I did) and people just ignored me unless they could squeeze some sort of use out of me (like letting them copy my homework or giving them free stuff). I felt so desperate and alone that I knowingly let them use me, because I hoped that someone would actually appreciate it at some point... but that didn't happen. I spent almost all of my time desperate and alone, watching other people enjoy their friends and their lives in general. It made me realize what a loser I was, and when my isolation never changed by the time that I graduated, it set the stage for the final stage of my life: nothingness. I've been a shut-in for seven years now and have made little to no progress in life.

No one brings any of this up, but I can't help but always recall these kinds of things. They're all that i've known, and when I look around the world and see all of the hatred and intolerance absolutely everywhere, it doesn't do anything to convince me that things could ever be different for me. I think that this is just how my life was meant to be, and even though it's miserable, i've come to accept that this was all i'm meant for. Life wasn't meant for people like me, so I guess i'll just hide away for the rest of my existence.

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Diogeknees posted...

Everyone does

I don't feel that way

you people need to move out of the city and experience nature in your daily lives tbh

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Colorahdo posted...

I don't feel that way

you people need to move out of the city and experience nature in your daily lives tbh

I live in a very rural part of Kentucky. I've seen more than enough nature.

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GrandConjuraton posted...

I find it a bit insulting that you would try to diminish it like that; most everyone was in on it, and even some of the teachers regularly crapped on me when I was in middle school. If I struggled with something, I had one teacher in particular who would alert the rest of the class to it and make it into a joke, and when he got tired of me asking for help, he just moved me to the main back of the room and ignored me for the rest of the year. I had him for two years, so having to see so much of him in particular was pretty frustrating and demoralizing. Aside from some physical violence, the students also loved to steal my things and hide them away (I almost ended up having to pay for a textbook because someone hid mine so well), I was regularly berated and excluded, and most generally did what they could do to make miserable. For example, I had some personal belongings ruined (like a book that I personally owned) once because some of them ganged up on me and pelted me with a ton of water balloons... and they didn't do that to anyone else, either. It was just me.

In high school, a lot of the bullying started to end (I did pick up a number of newer bullies, but they graduated before I did) and people just ignored me unless they could squeeze some sort of use out of me (like letting them copy my homework or giving them free stuff). I felt so desperate and alone that I knowingly let them use me, because I hoped that someone would actually appreciate it at some point... but that didn't happen. I spent almost all of my time desperate and alone, watching other people enjoy their friends and their lives in general. It made me realize what a loser I was, and when my isolation never changed by the time that I graduated, it set the stage for the final stage of my life: nothingness. I've been a shut-in for seven years now and have made little to no progress in life.

No one brings any of this up, but I can't help but always recall these kinds of things. They're all that i've known, and when I look around the world and see all of the hatred and intolerance absolutely everywhere, it doesn't do anything to convince me that things could ever be different for me. I think that this is just how my life was meant to be, and even though it's miserable, i've come to accept that this was all i'm meant for. Life wasn't meant for people like me, so I guess i'll just hide away for the rest of my existence.

Ah, you're right. I did do exactly that. My bad. I apologise. I didn't even try to get your side before assuming what your experience was like. I still stand by trying not to carry that with you through all of life tho. And you perceive all the darker blights of the world because that's what the world guided you to focus on. There are good people too tho and ignoring them doesn't do anyone any good. There are people who would be a pleasure to be around and also see you as a pleasure to be around and you're selling yourself short. And your views on yourself shows that you believe the people who treated you like shit and didn't have enough good people in your life to pull you out of it. My experience is completely different and there's a middle ground in there somewhere that you could get to if you just keep your mind open to people. You can stay guarded of course and should, but don't completely close it off :/.

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GrandConjuraton posted...

I live in a very rural part of Kentucky. I've seen more than enough nature.

do you run the trails and hunt and swim in the rivers though?

Most people just go from their box house to their box car to their box office and watch their box tv while the real world is out there every day

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Ah, you're right. I did do exactly that. My bad. I apologise. I didn't even try to get your side before assuming what your experience was like. I still stand by trying not to carry that with you through all of life tho. And you perceive all the darker blights of the world because that's what the world guided you to focus on. There are good people too tho and ignoring them doesn't do anyone any good. There are people who would be a pleasure to be around and also see you as a pleasure to be around and you're selling yourself short. And your views on yourself shows that you believe the people who treated you like shit and didn't have enough good people in your life to pull you out of it. My experience is completely different and there's a middle ground in there somewhere that you could get to if you just keep your mind open to people. You can stay guarded of course and should, but don't completely close it off :/.

I would be willing to think differently if I could get a direct example in my life of my views being wrong, but that doesn't seem plausible. I've mentioned it before (probably several times, even), but I thought that I had a chance of that last year, but... the person I thought that wanted to be my friend didn't actually care at all. She claimed to understand how I felt and said that she was as alone as I am, but if she actually was, she wouldn't have thrown me away like the trash that I am. All without an explanation or even a simple goodbye.

I got my hopes of finally having a friend in real life for the first time, and it did nothing but make things worse. I feel much more misanthropic than I used to be in good part to that experience, leaving me even more wounded than before. I might be with my family, but my soul still stands alone.

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I usually do. Most of the time I feel worthless as a person. Like I'm not even a person myself.

A lot of the time when my anxiety kicks in, I have to stop and tell myself that I'm a person just like anyone else. That at that base level, I'm equal to everyone else. That even more important people like the president or a senator are really just people as well. A lot of the time that helps, because it's not just government officials I see as more important. I see everyone as more important/better than me. Even just a random guy you pass on the street can make me feel ashamed of myself. So focusing on the fact that I'm equal to them in that way helps calm me down.

If I can stop looking at everyone as my superiors for just a little bit, it makes me more comfortable.

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GrandConjuraton posted...

I would be willing to think differently if I could get a direct example in my life of my views being wrong, but that doesn't seem plausible. I've mentioned it before (probably several times, even), but I thought that I had a chance of that last year, but... the person I thought that wanted to be my friend didn't actually care at all. She claimed to understand how I felt and said that she was as alone as I am, but if she actually was, she wouldn't have thrown me away like the trash that I am. All without an explanation or even a simple goodbye.

I got my hopes of finally having a friend in real life for the first time, and it did nothing but make things worse. I feel much more misanthropic than I used to be in good part to that experience, leaving me even more wounded than before. I might be with my family, but my soul still stands alone.

I do remember all that :/. Dunno if I posted but I read those topics. You're one the people's lives Im more invested in here cause I trust your perspective to give me enough information to get actual insight based on unbiasness. I can't say that about many here. Which makes me even more at fault that I just blindly inserted your life experience earlier. But that's something I gotta work on myself about.

To get more on topic. It sucks that that person did it to you. But I feel like unless you can pinpoint what you did, it wasn't really about you. She could of had a lack of experience in making long lasting friends. She could have something in her that gives her cold feet as soon as she gets to a certain point of connection. I think you using that situation as a justification to block off that entire avenue of your life is ill advised. If I could have direct input, Id like to see you try again but with a more guarded approach. Like, just go in with the knowledge that some people are flakey and unable to form deeper relationships. Be prepared to get the shit end but keep a small hope for something better. Expectations are damning.

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GrandConjuraton posted...

In high school, a lot of the bullying started to end (I did pick up a number of newer bullies, but they graduated before I did) and people just ignored me unless they could squeeze some sort of use out of me (like letting them copy my homework or giving them free stuff). I felt so desperate and alone that I knowingly let them use me, because I hoped that someone would actually appreciate it at some point... but that didn't happen. I spent almost all of my time desperate and alone, watching other people enjoy their friends and their lives in general. It made me realize what a loser I was, and when my isolation never changed by the time that I graduated, it set the stage for the final stage of my life: nothingness. I've been a shut-in for seven years now and have made little to no progress in life.

No one brings any of this up, but I can't help but always recall these kinds of things. They're all that i've known, and when I look around the world and see all of the hatred and intolerance absolutely everywhere, it doesn't do anything to convince me that things could ever be different for me. I think that this is just how my life was meant to be, and even though it's miserable, i've come to accept that this was all i'm meant for. Life wasn't meant for people like me, so I guess i'll just hide away for the rest of my existence

I hope you know you can be in and still be out. I grew up ostracized for sticking it to my own bully friends, ostracized for not really looking like the other groups or knowing enough about special interests, ostracized by a whole church, ostracized by spanish homies for hanging out for whites, ostracized by whites for being spanish.. I grew up with my guitar and never fit in. In High-School I abused a lot of things, I felt like people just saw me as a rockstar that could party and by that point I just couldnt relate to anything or anyone... I had my best friends who did stick by me, but since everything felt and looked fine from the outside I just never had felt like I had a home anywhere especially being that my own didnt feel like one for a long time.

Life is people like you. I often think about before and I wish I had more people like you to talk to because I probably wouldnt have caused my body and my mind the amount of harm I did eventually

If we were in a circle and you were standing farther away, or not saying much I would ask you for your own thoughts and I would make damn sure you stood in there with us in that circle of conversation

Hope you feel better TC; you could ask me for my social media, number, whatever man and we can talk about whatever - I appreciate questions with no context, I appreciate any form of conversation in general

KogaSteelfang posted...

I usually do. Most of the time I feel worthless as a person. Like I'm not even a person myself.

A lot of the time when my anxiety kicks in, I have to stop and tell myself that I'm a person just like anyone else. That at that base level, I'm equal to everyone else. That even more important people like the president or a senator are really just people as well. A lot of the time that helps, because it's not just government officials I see as more important. I see everyone as more important/better than me. Even just a random guy you pass on the street can make me feel ashamed of myself. So focusing on the fact that I'm equal to them in that way helps calm me down.

If I can stop looking at everyone as my superiors for just a little bit, it makes me more comfortable.

Brotha, I see anyone who can talk to me as an elder, Im here as a student of learning, I take all the experiences of people I know and use them as building blocks for my own life and remember it was that person from GameFAQS that I cant put my finger on their user who told me ______

musicians as bards dont really exist anymore but we live in such weird times that I cant help but feel the only thing I can do great is recall the tales of people Ive heard, the mysteries of their life, and recount trials and tribulations of different people

yes, feel free to pm me just the same - if I had a bar Id let you waltz in and have a beer with me any time

^

I don't ever remember seeing you before. But you sound like a real one

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C
So what?

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

To get more on topic. It sucks that that person did it to you. But I feel like unless you can pinpoint what you did, it wasn't really about you. She could of had a lack of experience in making long lasting friends. She could have something in her that gives her cold feet as soon as she gets to a certain point of connection. I think you using that situation as a justification to block off that entire avenue of your life is ill advised. If I could have direct input, Id like to see you try again but with a more guarded approach. Like, just go in with the knowledge that some people are flakey and unable to form deeper relationships. Be prepared to get the s*** end but keep a small hope for something better. Expectations are damning.

That situation isn't something that can be replicated, honestly. The reason that I was so willing to trust her is because of our shared past; we went to school with each other for at least ten years, and she was one of the few people that was actually nice to me throughout that expanse of time. We always had a positive relationship (despite never outright being friends), and she even stood up for me a few times if she was around when people were being awful to me. When we finally reconnected over Facebook back near the end of 2018, we talked for a while and she expressed a desire to be friends... I felt that she was best shot at making a friend, so I was about as hopeful as I could personally be. You already know how that ended, though.

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GrandConjuraton posted...

That situation isn't something that can be replicated, honestly. The reason that I was so willing to trust her is because of our shared past; we went to school with each other for at least ten years, and she was one of the few people that was actually nice to me throughout that expanse of time. We always had a positive relationship (despite never outright being friends), and she even stood up for me a few times if she was around when people were being awful to me. When we finally reconnected over Facebook back near the end of 2018, we talked for a while and she expressed a desire to be friends... I felt that she was best shot at making a friend, so I was about as hopeful as I could personally be. You already know how that ended, though.

I see. What was the point where you said to yourself "This is over and not happening anymore"?

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RedJackson posted...

I hope you know you can be in and still be out. I grew up ostracized for sticking it to my own bully friends, ostracized for not really looking like the other groups or knowing enough about special interests, ostracized by a whole church, ostracized by spanish homies for hanging out for whites, ostracized by whites for being spanish.. I grew up with my guitar and never fit in. In High-School I abused a lot of things, I felt like people just saw me as a rockstar that could party and by that point I just couldnt relate to anything or anyone... I had my best friends who did stick by me, but since everything felt and looked fine from the outside I just never had felt like I had a home anywhere especially being that my own didnt feel like one for a long time.

Life is people like you. I often think about before and I wish I had more people like you to talk to because I probably wouldnt have caused my body and my mind the amount of harm I did eventually

If we were in a circle and you were standing farther away, or not saying much I would ask you for your own thoughts and I would make damn sure you stood in there with us in that circle of conversation

Hope you feel better TC; you could ask me for my social media, number, whatever man and we can talk about whatever - I appreciate questions with no context, I appreciate any form of conversation in general

I can relate in my own way, unfortunately, :/ .

I grew up in a very religious and homophobic family, and the area I lived in was just as bad as they were in terms of general bigotry... once I was old enough to personally have the knowledge/awareness of me being transgender, I knew that telling anyone or being open at all in regards to it would bring nothing but disaster. My father constantly levied the threat of disowning us (my sister and I, I mean) if we were even just gay, so I basically went through a large portion of my life trying to ignore who I was. I tried to be someone else, and didn't exactly do a good job of it; people began to hate me, and over the years, I went on to be constantly accused of being "gay" and a number of slurs related to that.

The whole story is a bit long to get into right now, but I eventually came to terms with being trans, and a certain number of things happening in the year I graduated (2013) ended with me eventually coming clean to my mother about it. I managed to start hormones around the end of October 2013, and I even got my legal information changed the next year. I'm a lot more comfortable with my body in comparison to the past, but... I still feel the stigma of it all. I know very well what most people think of people like me (through both my own interactions and reading news stories, like the hatecrimes and murders of other people who are trans), and it's a big part of the burden that I carry. It's part of why I feel i'll never be good enough in comparison to others, and honestly, me hiding from the world is ultimately a good thing for others, too.

In other words, my situation isn't one with any easy solution... there may not even be one at all. Between all of what i've said in my other posts, there are a certain number of layers that keeps all of my fears and negative feelings towards the world continually propped up and thriving.

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Yes, but in a good way.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

I see. What was the point where you said to yourself "This is over and not happening anymore"?

In regards to her? When I realized that she blocked me, :/ . My mom tried to message her herself, but it turned out that she blocked her, too. There wasn't really anything that could be done at that point.

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I don't need no point.

meaning is what you give to yourself. people who say C are to be pitied.

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Life has no grand purpose to it, but there's no reason you can't enjoy it to the fullest while you're here, or find something you find worthwhile and fulfilling with your life.

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GrandConjuraton posted...

In regards to her? When I realized that she blocked me, :/ . My mom tried to message her herself, but it turned out that she blocked her, too. There wasn't really anything that could be done at that point.

Oh, that's right. I remember now. Yeah, that's fucked and it sucks you got left in the dark like that. It was a really shitty thing for that girl to do. There are people out there who would have your best interest in mind as well tho. Obviously, this girl didn't at the end. Or she is dealing with extreme social issues. It's hard to tell you that there is good out there when a lot of your feelings have reasonable sources. I just hope you get worn down at some point and maybe give people's advice the benefit of the doubt at some point.

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