Current Events > I wish it was okay to admit if you have dangerously violent fantasies...

(+) Yeah! (+)

Especially if you think it's wrong and need help with it.

But instead you just get labeled a danger to society and could potentially ruin your own life.

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I don't know if you're speaking from experience, but I agree with the general idea. Help is prevention.

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Yeah there is stuff like that that society handles very poorly.

Even if it's just recurring bad thoughts that you don't want to have.

NPR did a story on a guy who had this problem for a while and how hard it was to get treatment:
https://www.npr.org/2015/01/09/375928124/dark-thoughts

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Helps to have actual friends that don't judge you.

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CE legit tries to get you to have a meltdown if they know you're unstable. Remember goggalator? Share with your love ones, but now here.

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I think the problem, at least as I see it, comes from patient-caregiver confidentiality agreements ending when someone presents a danger to themselves or others.

If you say something that sounds dangerous to others, you get reported on it and can be stuck with a label. So no one is going to willingly say that, even to someone they're supposed to confide in.

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Agreed
Not even fully about this, but there's been plenty of thoughts that go through my head on occasion where idk if those thoughts mean I'm deranged or if they're normal.

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By "fantasies" you mean something that the individual takes joy in?

If not, I could imagine such thoughts to be quite intrusive.

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The solution I have would be something like caregivers are allowed to break confidentiality agreements if they come across something that potentially presents harm to the individual or others but there are strict guidelines on how that information is used and what becomes of the individual once they've disclosed it. It's not carte blanche as soon as that information is disclosed outside of confidence but specific things will happen that are tailored so that way even by admitting that, the patient hasn't doomed themselves in the aftermath once they have gotten the help they need.

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Does it still count if those are just focused on yourself?

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Solid Sonic posted...

I think the problem, at least as I see it, comes from patient-caregiver confidentiality agreements ending when someone presents a danger to themselves or others.

If you say something that sounds dangerous to others, you get reported on it and can be stuck with a label. So no one is going to willingly say that, even to someone they're supposed to confide in.

You're potentially asking people to live with the guilt of not preventing other peoples deaths when they might of been able to tho. People aren't built for that.

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Maybe I should have put my solution with the post. I was identifying the issue but then made my solution known in a follow-up message.

Basically what I'm saying is if someone tells the person charged with maintaining confidence something that is potentially dangerous, they can still pass that along to another body who can help the individual but it's not a "black box" effect where someone says something then has no idea what happens to them after they say it. I think that black box is where the lack of willingness to open up comes from because anyone who would risk saying something that's potentially disturbing has no idea what the effect it will have on themselves will be so it's not a risk worth taking if you still want to operate as a functional member of society. Clear and specific outcomes (as mandated by law) will be given to the individual and they will be able to know that anywhere along that chain, none of it will be allowed to influence them outside of the treatment path unless they consent to it.

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Have you something to confess?

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The_Creep_2020 posted...

Have you something to confess?

Yes, obviously. That doesn't mean we should be asking for specifics, creep.

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Solid Sonic posted...

Especially if you think it's wrong and need help with it.

But instead you just get labeled a danger to society and could potentially ruin your own life.

https://i.imgur.com/BorZGHZ.gif

Evening_Dragon posted...

Yes, obviously. That doesn't mean we should be asking for specifics, creep.

A very good point indeed.

Also, given the subject matter of this topic the lower case is appropriate. Someone in the topic may be more deserving of the capitalised C, after all.

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The thing about psychology is you can't actually know what someone is thinking or perceiving the world so you can only talk from a position of yourself. To me, at least, I think being able to open up about something to someone who agreed to confidentiality is important and the limitation on how strong that confidence remains isn't something someone should necessarily have to concern themselves with if they want to say something. But that may not be the case with everyone troubled by disturbing thoughts (some people might like to hold onto them and act on them and have no desire to get help for it because they think it's the "right response").

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Seek a therapist or counselor. If you have insurance, you might even be able to set up an appointment through them.

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Solid Sonic posted...

Maybe I should have put my solution with the post. I was identifying the issue but then made my solution known in a follow-up message.

Basically what I'm saying is if someone tells the person charged with maintaining confidence something that is potentially dangerous, they can still pass that along to another body who can help the individual but it's not a "black box" effect where someone says something then has no idea what happens to them after they say it. I think that black box is where the lack of willingness to open up comes from because anyone who would risk saying something that's potentially disturbing has no idea what the effect it will have on themselves will be so it's not a risk worth taking if you still want to operate as a functional member of society. Clear and specific outcomes (as mandated by law) will be given to the individual and they will be able to know that anywhere along that chain, none of it will be allowed to influence them outside of the treatment path unless they consent to it.

Oh, ok. I co-sign that. I don't feel like a harm to myself but there is definitely stuff I went through 3-8 years ago that Id never tell a professional due to uncertainty. Yet, I've told a few friends while they were also being very vunerable, so they wouldn't feel alone. Later on, I thought about it and was wondering if they thought I was trying to one up them in the most fucked up way ever tho >_>

The thing about telling friends tho, is that they're not trained and it will most likely come off like they don't care enough because they don't know how to handle the information. So it can chance people feeling side lined.

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The story of Angulimala. (This story moved me when I read it the first time. TC, sometimes a simple story can assist the soul and the mind.)

It happened in Buddha's life. Buddha was passing through a forest and people prevented him. They said, "There lives a man who is the greatest murderer. He has killed nine hundred and ninety nine persons already and he is wearing a garland (necklace) of their fingers. Nobody knows his real name; Yet they call him "Angulimala" because he wears the garland of fingers.He is waiting for one more person to reach 1,000, but now everybody has become so frightened and afraid that the road is closed; nobody ever passes from this side. People who need to go mus take a long route.
Even the king hasn't courage enough to pass from this road with all his army." "The man is ferocious, the man is like a lion. He is not a man, he is a man-eater! He is so dangerous that last time he told his mother... " "Don't come again to me because now I am waiting for the last person. If nobody else comes I will kill you but I have to fulfill my vow. One thousand persons I have to kill.So now the mother also stopped going there. Please don't go from this route. This path is deserted.Buddha said , "If you had not told me, then I may have gone by the other road, but now that I know that he is waiting for one person only and nobody is willing to go, not even his mother, then If I don't go what is going to happen to his vow ? And I am going to die anyway sooner or later, so let him fulfill his vow. And who knows whether he will be able to kill me or I will be able to kill him ?People said, "You seem to be crazy! How can you kill him? You don't believe in killing and you don't have any weapon with u."Buddha said, "I am the weapon. Let him have a try and let me also have a try." And he went.The great followers who always used to surround him started lagging behind. By the time he reached close to Angulimala's place they were miles behind. Nobody was there, only Buddha was there. They were watching from far away what happens.Angulimala saw Gautam the Buddha coming. He was not aware of who this man was, but something was beautiful about this man, the way he was coming , the peace, the silence. And Angulimala was a simple man. This type of people are always simple people - ignorant, but innocent too.As Buddha came close by, first he thought, ''Let me kill this man and finish the whole thing so I can forget about the matter, because now nobody comes. ''But as Buddha came nearby, he started feeling a strange love for the man, a great compassion for the man He had never felt like this for anybody. It was so strange, so new, he could not believe it.And when Buddha came in front of him he said to Buddha, ''Please, you go, I am a dangerous man. It seems you don't know about me. You look so innocent. I am Angulimala! You see the garland ? Nine Hundred and ninety Nine People I have killed ; I am waiting for the last one. And I am a dangerous man.Now I can see that you are a sanyasi, your yellow robe, your shaved head. I feel a strange compassion for you which I never felt, so I will give you one chance. You can go back and I will wait for somebody else, but if you insist, if you even take a single step ahead, I am going to kill you.''Buddha said, "Do you know me? If that is your vow, then this is my vow : I never go back. You kill me ! I never look back''The man took out his sword, but his hand was trembling. Buddha said, "What is the matter? Is this the way ? Are you a swordsman ? Your hand is trembling ! Stop your hand from trembling ! This is not right-- this shows weakness. One should be strong enough. And I am surprised and I am wondering how you could kill so many people ''Angulimala said, "This is for the first time. My heart is beating faster, my breathing is now no more rhythmic, my hand is trembling. You must be doing something ! You seem to be a magician" Buddha said, "That is true --I am also trying my way, I am trying to kill you! But I don't kill physically, I kill psychologically. But you finish your job, don't bother about my work. I will go on doing my work, you do your job. But before you hit my body, one thing you have to do for me-this is the wish of a dying man. Can you cut few leaves of the tree?"Those leaves were hanging from the tree , Angulimala chopped down a few branches. Buddha sat on top of them said , "Good, half is done. Now do the other half -- join this branch back again and then kill me."Angulimala said , "You must be mad ! How can I join it back?" Buddha said , "Cutting a branch even a child can do. The real thing is joining it.Destruction is very easy, creation is the real thing."Angulimala bowed down his head ashamed. Buddha said, " If you can understand that much, then there is no problem, I would love to be murdered by you... you kill me.Angulimala threw down his sword, fell at Buddha's feet and he said, "You have killed me before I could kill you. You are right --- destruction can be done by anybody. Now teach me how to be creative."It has always been a great question mark in Buddhist scriptures how such a murderous man was so easily transformed by Buddha.And it has happened many times that great scholars came, argued with him, and were not convinced, left unconvinced. Great kings came to him just to pay respect, and hoping that his blessing will be enough, but not ready to meditate or to become sanyasi or to renounce -- just to receive the blessing. And businessmen came to him and they gave as much as though necessary but they remained uninvolved mentally or spiritually. They donated big lands and gardens to Buddha and for his monasteries, but they never gave an inch of their consciousness to him.

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The_Creep_2020 posted...

Have you something to confess?

That's none of your business unless the TC wants you to know.

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The problem is that people haven't really grasped the difference between a fantasy, and things they really want to happen.

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Read the story, TC.

It will change you. Maybe.

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I wish it were acceptable to be emotional in general.

Now I'm not talking wah wah/grr grr give me what I want but more like I've got a bad feeling about this or whatever.

For some reason, people who consider themselves rational have managed to convince the world there's no value in that.

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https://imgur.com/cUPjHg8

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SrRd_RacinG posted...

Read the story, TC.

It will change you. Maybe.

Were you expecting me to reply after I had read it?

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If you want to share your thoughts publicly, I'm down to listen.

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