Current Events > Bi Erasure in the gay/lesbian community really needs to be addressed

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm trying so hard to integrate with my wife's social circles but this irrational distrust for being openly bisexual is legitimately irritating me. I've had people say:

1) I'm straight but want to look cool by being in a lesbian marriage
2) I'm lesbian but identify as bisexual because it's more privileged (somehow?)
3) I'm just sexually deviant
4) Bisexuals don't actually exist; they're just homosexual but unwilling to commit

As someone who didn't even really identify with the LGBTQ community until about a year ago, I had no idea it was this judgmental about bisexuality. Also, there's a tremendous amount of anti-transgender sentiment and I find it really distressing.

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@cymbaline

Damn that shit sucks

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People who think bisexuality doesnt exist are morons.

As a bisexual person....

The most discrimination I've ever felt was among social circles of mostly gay people.

So yeah I will verify that TCs experiences seem the norm unfortunately.

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What exactly does being openly bisexual entail while you're in a monogamous relationship? Wouldn't talking about liking dick be just as taboo as a straight guy telling his wife about hot chicks he sees.

Yeah, it's weird. Another one is "you're just greedy if you're bi," as if you could somehow claim and horde all the sex so that no one else could get laid.

I would get new friends immediately is they are going to be that way

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shockthemonkey posted...

Ive heard this from a lot of my friends, including one whose primary friend group was LGBTQ who then ostracized her for being in a hetero relationship.

Like there is certainly some ability to live whats perceived as a more privileged life half in the closet as a bisexual person but calling repress part of yourself to fit in privileged is fucking nuts.

I don't see how it's privilege to get hated upon by literally both sides

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Have you discussed this with your wife?

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Blue_Dream87 posted...

Have you discussed this with your wife?

Yes, and she acknowledges it's real. She also gets some crap about it too.

She's been with the community since she was like 12, when she came out.

I never really took part in anything LGBTQ mostly because I didn't really "identify" as anything, nor did I really care to, until a year or two ago.

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I think the privilege part might come from if you're bi, you can claim that you like *opposite sex genitalia* and conveniently leave out liking *same sex genitalia* without lying.

But I don't have much experience with the LGBT community.

MachineJaipur posted...

I think the privilege part might come from if you're bi, you can claim that you like *opposite sex genitalia* and conveniently leave out liking *same sex genitalia* without lying.

But I don't have much experience with the LGBT community.

My best guess is that it's probably a remnant of the era when coming out was often legitimately dangerous and ruined your life. But I still can't accept unnecessary prejudice like that.

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Your wife needs better friends.

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I "understand" why people in the LGBTQ community might be hesitant about the bisexual who has never been in a relationship with someone of the same sex or even a fling, but if you're dating another woman the idea those hesitations don't apply.

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I'm in favor of gay marriage, but I always find it hilarious that gay people bitch how straight people don't treat their "community" as equals when they don't even treat everyone in their own community as equals. I mean if gay people are going to treat bisexuals like shit then why exactly do they expect straight bible thumpers to treat them any different?

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Gamerguymass posted...

I'm in favor of gay marriage, but I always find it hilarious that gay people bitch how straight people don't treat their "community" as equals when they don't even treat everyone in their own community as equals. I mean if gay people are going to treat bisexuals like shit then why exactly do they expect straight bible thumpers to treat them any different?

now this is a shitpost

Reis posted...

now this is a shitpost

I have that guy tagged as anti-LGBTQ+

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There's also huge bias against bi and pan men from heterosexual women too. Like, I'm pan and I know to never tell that to a woman I'm interested in. I haven't personally experienced prejudice from other lgbt+ plus people, but I have seen a lot of Tumblr and Twitter posts treating bisexuality as if it's some kind of stolen identity. Pretty sickening all around honestly.

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DespondentDeity posted...

There's also huge bias against bi and pan men from heterosexual women too. Like, I'm pan and I know to never tell that to a woman I'm interested in. I haven't personally experienced prejudice from other lgbt+ plus people, but I have seen a lot of Tumblr and Twitter posts treating bisexuality as if it's some kind of stolen identity. Pretty sickening all around honestly.

I had a bi boyfriend and he was very much in the closet about it because of this.

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DarkRoast posted...

Yes, and she acknowledges it's real. She also gets some crap about it too.

She's been with the community since she was like 12, when she came out.

I never really took part in anything LGBTQ mostly because I didn't really "identify" as anything, nor did I really care to, until a year or two ago.

She needs to talk to her friends about it then. Your voice doesn't seem to matter, but hers does. That shit is hella toxic and you need to nip it in the bud before it gets worse

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So much for Tolerance, Understanding, and Open-Mindedness from the Gay/Lesbian community.

I swear, you need a new group of friends who understands both of you better.

If they're that bigoted towards the two of you, why are you hanging around them?

The world is a big place, I'm sure there are plenty of other folks who will gladly accept you two the way you are.

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BabyRoxann posted...

He is. And hes concern trolling. Safe to just ignore that user.

Everyone who keeps quoting him is ruining my ignoring of him.
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BabyRoxann posted...

He is. And hes concern trolling. Safe to just ignore that user.

Reis is the same user who always harassed Vyrulisse back in the day.

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Yeah it sucks being seen as either a fake or a deviant.

Speaking of bigotry, I was friends with both a lesbian who hated gay men and a gay man who hated lesbians. Both were co-workers and would avoid each other and give each other dirty looks.

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Southernfatman posted...

Speaking of bigotry, I was friends with both a lesbian who hated gay men and a gay man who hated lesbians. Both were co-workers and would avoid each other and give each other dirty looks.

Why on earth would they hate each other? That makes ZERO LOGICAL sense.

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KamenRiderBlade posted...

Reis is the same user who always harassed Vyrulisse back in the day.

@Vyrulisse thoughts on this?

Southernfatman posted...

Yeah it sucks being seen as either a fake or a deviant.

Speaking of bigotry, I was friends with both a lesbian who hated gay men and a gay man who hated lesbians. Both were co-workers and would avoid each other and give each other dirty looks.

Are you sure they didn't just hate each other and not all gays/lesbians?

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KamenRiderBlade posted...

Why on earth would they hate each other? That makes ZERO LOGICAL sense.

Gamerguymass posted...

Are you sure they didn't just hate each other and not all gays/lesbians?

Heard it straight from the man. "I hate (d-word slur against lesbians)." A friend and fellow co-worker told me about what the lesbian said. I forgot the exact wording, but she didn't like or trust gay men for whatever reason. It's nuts and not exactly super rare either from what I hear.

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Yup, I've got a lot of this as a bi person as well and it's fucking annoying and depressing. These people are all genuinely very accepting of most anyone else, yet still hold the same prejudices people have of them, of bi people.

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Stop harassing Vyrulisse because she is bi reis

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Fuck em".

Don't know why you'd want to integrate with those people if they already made up their 'extremely tolerant' minds about you. You're honestly better off without them, thus giving more room for new and better friends.

Unified community? Pfft, my ass.


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@Vyrulisse you remember when Reis was constantly stalking you and harassing you back in the day, right?

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KamenRiderBlade posted...

Reis is the same user who always harassed Vyrulisse back in the day.

Lmaooooooooooo

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DezDroppedFreak posted...

Lmaooooooooooo

It continues to this day. Its shameful.

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DespondentDeity posted...

There's also huge bias against bi and pan men from heterosexual women too. Like, I'm pan and I know to never tell that to a woman I'm interested in. I haven't personally experienced prejudice from other lgbt+ people, but I have seen a lot of Tumblr and Twitter posts treating bisexuality as if it's some kind of stolen identity. Pretty sickening all around honestly.

This is very true.

My (admittedly homophobic) father believed bisexuals were the reason HIV/AIDS spread to the heterosexual community. To his dying day he believed I was, in his words, a rampant heterosexual.

I have had serious, open minded girlfriends worry that I would leave them in the future for a man, after disclosing that I am not 100% heterosexual

That said, bisexuals and pansexuals *do* get the best nickname ever.

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DarkRoast posted...

3) I'm just sexually deviant

to this point first off who cares secondly I dont care if its sexually deviant, craving women and enjoying sec with them makes me bisexual. I like both. Why is that so hard?

ibe has issue with the lgbt community but I more identify with Deaf community

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Zodd3224 posted...

It continues to this day. Its shameful.

It hasn't stopped? What kind of monster is Reis?

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That's rough. Here's a fun song that goes over most of what you mentioned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e7844P77Is

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SpaghettiCookie posted...

ibe has issue with the lgbt community but I more identify with Deaf community

Don't they also have some form of descrimination against those who want cochlear implants?

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Anteaterking posted...

I "understand" why people in the LGBTQ community might be hesitant about the bisexual who has never been in a relationship with someone of the same sex or even a fling

I catch myself doing that sometimes. My best friend is bi and that small bias does come up from time to time. His experience is different from mine and the fact he and his girlfriend pass as a straight couple means they dont get some of the shit I would. But at the same time other trans people could think the same of me because Im not so dysphoric I can pass as cis.

Whats important is these types of issues affect all of us and gatekeeping because I have it worse is shitty and does no good at all.


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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIkRen9eSaI

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Southernfatman posted...

Heard it straight from the man. "I hate (d-word slur against lesbians)." A friend and fellow co-worker told me about what the lesbian said. I forgot the exact wording, but she didn't like or trust gay men for whatever reason. It's nuts and not exactly super rare either from what I hear.

Yeah. People are people. The LGBT community is not some hippy dippy hivemind. They are all individuals with individual thoughts and feelings. Some of those feelings aren't good. It doesn't matter if someone else is technically in one of their defined groups. Tribalism runs deep with most people. There are plenty of black people who hate Hispanic people even though they're both technically "people of color". It's no more or less logical than someone completely outside the group feeling that way.

KamenRiderBlade posted...

@Vyrulisse you remember when Reis was constantly stalking you and harassing you back in the day, right?

now now, I know you can't help but to simp for every girl you see on this board, but since i also can't resist clowning on you let bring two things to your attention

1. vy and me get along quite well off-site and our jabs at each other are all in good fun
2. both of us are bi so your attempt to bring her in as some sorta gotcha is extra stupid here

please stop white knighting e-girls, they're not gonna fuck you

Thats not true, Vy comes crying to me everyday about how mean reis is. I always have to put on my armor and defend her honor.

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maybe u should tell her to keep her mouth shut instead