Current Events > Trying to improve my life has led to basically 0 increase in happiness

(+) Yeah! (+)

Went from directionless student to graduate with job that's kinda fun. But it's super stressful which cancels out the fun amd makes me want to quit a lot.

Started working out more and eating healthy. I look better but don't feel better than when I ate garbage all the time.

Got an actual haircut and bought decent wardrobe. Didn't do much of anything.

Going on more dates but they're usually a waste of time and lead nowhere.

Everything just fucking sucks

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Spooking posted...

You need to go see a doctor and let them know what's going on, tbh. Maybe he will prescribe you something.

I don't like the idea of paying ass loads of money to get diagnosed with something and then for the medication

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Sounds like youre depressed.

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CasualGuy posted...

I don't like the idea of paying ass loads of money to get diagnosed with something and then for the medication

Does your job provide medical insurance?

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Some people don't find any joy in those things. Try and find something that actually makes you happy and pursue that instead.

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Happiness is tricky. I took antidepressants for awhile, they didn't make me happy at all, they just made me suck less to everyone around me.

Your diet is just like taking pills. I would recommend 4 supplements to you. Daily multivitamin, 3 grams fish oil, drink green tea and take cla supplement. That should help you feel better. Having friends helps too. Do you have those?

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I do have a small amount of friends but I kinda prefer being alone.

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Do you follow a good sleep schedule?

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NeonOctopus posted...

Do you follow a good sleep schedule?

Depends what that is

Workdays it's usually 1130-6
Weekends/time off it's like 2am-11am

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I literally do nothing different than I did 5 years ago and am in a million times healthier of a mindstate. It's all in the mind man. You gotta makes your thoughts work for you instead of work for your thoughts. Take the driver seat back. How to do that? Iunno. I kind of just became my own therapist and learned to talk myself out of any negative thinking. My therapist skills are completely useless when it comes to treating my ambitionless mindstate tho. He enables me there still

...looking back at that post. I might just be a crazy person now....still beats what I had before.

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Maybe you're just not happy. You don't necessarily need medication to make yourself happy. You could just be legitimately unhappy.

Quit your job and travel the world.

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If you want to quit your job, it will eat away at you. Just quit it and find one without that.

You might have actual, clinical depression, tc.

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Guide posted...

You might have actual, clinical depression, tc.

What makes depression "clinical" aside from becoming profitable to the clinic?

Im just being clever, I really wanna know.

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darkphoenix181 posted...

If you want to quit your job, it will eat away at you. Just quit it and find one without that.

Yeah. I should have started searching a while ago. But I get a lot of time off, can dress how I want, and has some nice benefits.

But I would like something less stressful and that requires less human interaction.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

What makes depression "clinical" aside from becoming profitable to the clinic?

Im just being clever, I really wanna know.

"Clinical" is just when a doctor can confirm it. Which is weird for tenses, when you think about it.

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Maybe more hobbies your freetime will help you get your mind off work and negative thoughts in general.

Also be careful that you're not watching and reading about to many things negative. Learning, and listening to people as, if not as miserable as you are seems reassuring at first but it doeasnt necessarily lead to happiness.

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Guide posted...

"Clinical" is just when a doctor can confirm it. Which is weird for tenses, when you think about it.

Ah, thought so. I trust doctors like I trust cops tho >_>. There's too much incentive to lose compassion for the patients. Granted, I love my doctors, but I'm a sucker for a nice personality and I feel protected by my own theories overriding what they tell me. Like, they tried to put my on medication and I eventually organically got over my problems. If I went their route, I'd have reliance on another pill and have to constantly question how much my new outlook was actually real. Id overall not be in as good of a place.

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I always recommend this to people, try getting a fish tank. I don't mean a goldfish bowl, I mean a respectable system with a filter, heater, and some tropical fish. It's a proven therapeutic hobby, there's a lot of chemistry involved, there's a lot of research and learn, and it's very enjoyable. If you take this into any kind of consideration, i'd suggest starting with a 29 gallon tank. I'm always open to assist with help on the forum or via PM.

Gardening is another suggestion, it's something I do and like, it's healthy, and growing your own crops is rewarding.

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Fishtank would be sweet actually

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Cheese_Crackers posted...

Sounds like youre depressed.

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CasualGuy posted...

Fishtank would be sweet actually

If you look into it and decide it's something you wanna try, like I said i'm happy to help and offer advice and whatnot. I've kept tanks since I was like 12 years old, and I still do 26 years later. We have a couple of users here that maintain tanks also, @cjsdowg is trying to get a community board going here on Gamefaqs for aquarium keepers.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Ah, thought so. I trust doctors like I trust cops tho >_>. There's too much incentive to lose compassion for the patients. Granted, I love my doctors, but I'm a sucker for a nice personality and I feel protected by my own theories overriding what they tell me. Like, they tried to put my on medication and I eventually organically got over my problems. If I went their route, I'd have reliance on another pill and have to constantly question how much my new outlook was actually real. Id overall not be in as good of a place.

I've had good luck with doctors, and I maintain that a proper doctor is the best bet for any disease, but I can't discount your concerns, either. There are just shitty people out there. Some of them are doctors.

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Guide posted...

I've had good luck with doctors, and I maintain that a proper doctor is the best bet for any disease, but I can't discount your concerns, either. There are just shitty people out there. Some of them are doctors.

That sums it up. They can save your life, but be skeptical that that's not guaranteed to be their main goal.

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CasualGuy posted...

Fishtank would be sweet actually

Me: Travel the world.

TC: Hey a fish tank!

I mean whatever works works I'm not trying to be a dick but you didn't even acknowledge traveling.

I love fish tanks btw. I love anything aquatic. The more I think about the fish tank the more I want one.

Now I'm starting to wonder why I don't have one. x_x

WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE

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"The secret to a happy life - courtesy of Tolstoy" -- https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-30536963

Tolstoy is an extreme example, but it shows the efforts that might be required in order to find and follow happiness.
.

No one can tell you what will make you happy. To find happiness you must search for it; when you find it you will know (hint: if someone must tell you "___ is happiness," it isn't).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtQ4LbmRgdM

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AzurexNightmare posted...

Me: Travel the world.

TC: Hey a fish tank!

I mean whatever works works I'm not trying to be a dick but you didn't even acknowledge traveling.

I love fish tanks btw. I love anything aquatic. The more I think about the fish tank the more I want one.

Now I'm starting to wonder why I don't have one. x_x

WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE

Fish tanks are a lot more within the financial means of a lot of people, to be fair. Travelling costs thousands, and there's currently a ton of restrictions, especially for Americans (assuming TC is one) on travel.

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AzurexNightmare posted...

I mean whatever works works I'm not trying to be a dick but you didn't even acknowledge traveling

Sorry i skipped you.

Wanted to travel this summer before covid hit. That was my plan actually. Hit like spain, germany, france.

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What are you defining as happiness?

There are times in life that feel like a high in terms elevated, elated emotions. Things like new relationships, new things, novel experiences can produce this feeling. However, some people equate that with happiness and just continue chasing that hedonistic escalator.

Better to spend more time reflecting on what you truly value and what you want out of life. You touched on a few areas such as health, fitness, and job satisfaction and realized those aren't what really fulfill you. So what are you really seeking?

Besides that, a lot of "happiness" is simply learning that being content with where you're at in life is kind of the goal. There is always something to work toward next, but it's not the point. To be a bit cliche, it's the journey, not the destination, so really recognizing things you are grateful for *currently* is far more important than extrinsic goals you ever achieve.

You have a stable job, you've achieved better fitness. Many people can't/don't even have that, so just simply acknowledging the goodness in what you have can go a long way.

Of course, modern society doesn't necessarily jive with our "outdated" biology, so to speak, so any feelings of being down, lack of motivation, loss of pleasure in previously pleasurable activities, disruptions in sleep or appetite, or feeling overly sluggish can be signs of depression and seeking counseling and/or medication isn't a sign of weakness. I'd advise seeking out a doctor if this feeling of emptiness continues to persist, at least to rule out physical reasons why you may be feeling this way.

Philosophy did wonders for me in terms of my mental framework. Even during the tough parts of my career or significant life events, I've been able to be resilient. Aristotle has some great things to say about the topic of happiness. Reading how philosophy conceptualized happiness over the years is also really helpful. Seeing how thought has shifted from virtue ethics, to stoicism, to utilitarianism and maximizing pleasure/pain, to more modern conceptions in psychology. Seeing all the different ways "happiness" can be viewed as can help frame whatever it is you're seeking.

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I'm similar to TC. Not depressed but travelling doesn't really appeal to me. If I become a millionaire and get a super car it won't bring happiness or excitement. I wouldn't drive it crazy fast either. Sure some people may come up and talk to me so what? It's all in the mind like Lost said. I personally enjoy the simple things in life.

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Surrender to Jesus.

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BlameAnesthesia posted...

What are you defining as happiness?

Smiling
Laughing
Being exicted for things
Not constantly looking at the clock waiting for the day to be over

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Find what makes you happy and do it? If the stress life of a job isn't working then work another lower paying job? Some CEOs have quit to take a less salary.

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Austin_Era_II posted...

Find what makes you happy and do it?

Oh is that all i had to do? This whole time the answer eluded me

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Maybe you need a partner. Some people get like that being alone. Not all of us are strong mentally like me.

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CasualGuy posted...

Smiling
Laughing
Being exicted for things
Not constantly looking at the clock waiting for the day to be over

To start you don't need to go far--this journey begins with wherever you are.

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andri_g posted...

To start you don't need to go far--this journey begins with wherever you are.

Can confirm. I've traveled before and it didn't make me happier on its own. I mean, it did. But all of the bad shit that had to do with me, followed me. Because it was me.

So you can start now :D

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MabusIncarnate posted...

If you look into it and decide it's something you wanna try, like I said i'm happy to help and offer advice and whatnot. I've kept tanks since I was like 12 years old, and I still do 26 years later. We have a couple of users here that maintain tanks also, @cjsdowg is trying to get a community board going here on Gamefaqs for aquarium keepers.

Yeah, I know a little something. :)


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