Poll of the Day > Do you think it is tact-less to invite non-family members to a family emergency?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Let's say that "family member" in this occasion includes in-laws. Is it tact-less to invite someone unrelated to the ailing bloke/gal's event?

I must have these answers.
---

No I dont think so. It might help someone cope with an awful situation by having a friend there or something

---

No. There are people I am not related to that I like more than people I am. Closeness > blood sometimes.

---

I wouldn't say tactless, but you should be very aware of who you bring around. For instance, if you know your grandmother hated your girlfriend, maybe don't bring her to the funeral.

Perhaps your family feels a way about black and brown people. Probably don't want to bring that person with you. Maybe you shouldn't be there either, but thats a completely different conversation.

---

My cousins brought their husbands and boyfriends to visit my mother, and I didn't really think well of the gesture.

She's not very friendly with that side of the family to begin with (but thought it impolite to refuse their company), and it's her very first time meeting those blokes.
---

EclairReturns posted...

Let's say that a family member of yours is critically ill or a family member has a funeral. Is it tactless to invite a non-family member to such occasions?

No. I wouldn't mind at all if my sister invited her BF to a family emergency as although technically he isn't family he's as good as family and he'll be there for emotional support for her. This is just one example. If however said person doesn't get on with the person who is on the receiving end of said emergency then it's best for none family members to stay away but that could be applied to family members too. When my sister died my mum wasn't welcome and hell if she's still alive she doesn't even know my sister died. She is nothing to me.


---

EclairReturns posted...

My cousins brought their husbands and boyfriends to visit my mother, and I didn't really think well of the gesture.

Husbands and (long term) boyfriends are family. If one of your cousins was having a hard time with it, having their significant other their to comfort them just seems logical.

I assumed this would be about inviting a friend that the family doesn't really know. Husbands and wives are, in my opinion, automatically invited to all family events that the actual family member is invited to, both good and bad.

---

Dynalo posted...

(long term) boyfriends are family.

Nope. Not by blood nor by law.

---

Funeral, no. People aren't just attending because they had a connection to the dead person, but because they want to support the living. If you have a friend who is close enough to you that their support would help you cope, then they should more than be invited.

Family emergency is more of a grey area. It depends on what sort of emergency it is. There are definitely situations where I would probably be uncomfortable inviting friends, but other cases where I wouldn't be.
---

wwinterj25 posted...

Nope. Not by blood nor by law.

So if you've been dating someone for five years but haven't tied the knot for one reason or another, you shouldn't bring them with you to a funeral?' I'm sorry, that's just ridiculous.

Also, if we're going strictly by definition, law doesn't make family either so wives and husbands would always be exempt from the rest of your family other than the children you had together.

---

Dynalo posted...

So if you've been dating someone for five years but haven't tied the knot for one reason or another, you shouldn't bring them with you to a funeral?'

Where did I say that? If you bothered to read my first post I actually said he opposite:
wwinterj25 posted...

No. I wouldn't mind at all if my sister invited her BF to a family emergency as although technically he isn't family he's as good as family and he'll be there for emotional support for her. This is just one example.

My sister has been with her boyfriend for 11 or more years. She has three kids with him. He isn't technically family no matter if I view him as good as family.

Also, if we're going strictly by definition, law doesn't make family either so wives and husbands would always be exempt from the rest of your family other than the children you had together.

There is literally family in laws so yes it does. BF/GFs are not family unless incest.

---

Depends on the family...

There's probably some really chummy families out there who would be happy to have the entire town attend their emergencies

---

If a relative is having a funeral, it's somewhat expected that friends of the deceased's relations will show to offer their condolences. And obviously friends of the deceased will want to be there.


---

I have this mental image of inviting your girlfriend to watch the heart attack your uncle's got scheduled for next week.

---

Bringing your drug dealer, so he can network is tactless.

Bringing an SO or close friend isn't.

---

It's going to vary a lot based on the nature of the emergency. As a basic rule of thumb, if they're going to help support you or anyone else in the immediate family through the emergency, involving them is reasonable. If having them there will antagonize other participants in the emergency (especially the focus, if they're still alive), don't involve them. If they won't necessarily benefit anyone, but also won't hurt, and they would personally benefit from being able to participate (the obvious example being a dying family member being visited by one of their friends who isn't close with anyone else, who wants to say goodbye), that's fair game, but only if involving them won't hurt the immediate family.

---

Yes, unless the person being invited is close to the person suffering the emergency.

---

Depends on who you're inviting. Your spouse, fiancee, partner or significant other, that's probably to be expected. Joe from your bowling team or some guy from work, probably not.

---

SunWuKung420 posted...

Bringing your drug dealer, so he can network is tactless.

Especially when the relative in question OD'd >_> When the brother of a friend of a friend OD'd, his dealer had enough sense not to attend the funeral despite being on good terms with the deceased.

---

Idk I'd leave your fuck boi or gurl friend that you've been with for a few weeks or months behind.

A friend who's maybe been over before but not work friends or gym bros. That's what cards are for.

I don't think a family emergency is an event you invite for.

---

Bring anybody who has a substantial concern. Heck if your father is having an problem and he has been best friends with a guy since 3 yo, served in the army together and are still hit the bars every tuesday how can you say hes not family

---