Current Events > Being called "my dear" by a male coworker

(+) Yeah! (+)

don't have the time to read 5 pages of posts, but that's fucked up man.

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Yeah it was maybe a little informal for someone you don't know well, but you're really overreacting. Just roll your eyes and move on.

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I just wanted to post in this topic because it looks like everybody else is. Hi, anyone reading, I hope you're having a wonderful day!

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Harpie posted...

These comparisons some cemen are bringing up just arent relevant. A man being called sweety or dear by an older woman is very different that being called those same names by a man as a woman.

lol

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distopic mane

distopic....

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ModLogic posted...

wow

Don't try to think too hard, you'll hurt yourself.

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You should ignore his request and if he ever follows up be like, "Oh, sorry, I didn't end up having enough time to do that. By the way, I don't really like when people call me "dear" in a work setting, thanks"

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CalypsoDoom posted...

Yeah I don't do disrespect. From anyone at any time. I didn't take it from patients, their families, doctors, or other nurses. If I have to be stuck around you 12 hours a day we're gonna have to figure it out or take it to the parking lot.

Nah, fight in the ICU.

More toys.

I wanna see someone get defibrillated mid-battle.

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Harpie posted...

These comparisons some cemen are bringing up just arent relevant. A man being called sweety or dear by an older woman is very different that being called those same names by a man as a woman.

"Dear" is the new N word...


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Like, imagine you're a woman, with 30 fucking years teaching and the head of a department with 200+ students and a bitchy ass parent refers to you as "that very nice girl"

like it's just disrespectful
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im not 13 posted...

"Dear" is the new N word...

Vice versa.

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I just say ma'am or their name.

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CalypsoDoom posted...

the ones we had were so heavy you could probably knock someone out with them anyways

Dude I would pay to see that in like a movie or something. What a subversion. Grab the paddles and just smack someone with them without a charge.

EDIT: Wait no. I got it! The two dudes fight and one of them goes to the paddles and charges them up. While it's charging, the other guy gets scissors or something and cuts the line and is like "ha ha" and the first guy just decks him with the heavy paddles and KO.

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Die Hard in a hospital?
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CalypsoDoom posted...

You aren't being persecuted by being expected to be respectful of others. Full stop.

I'm very respectful. Worked in an office setting for 8 years and have had no complaints and get along with everyone

But to suggest an older woman can say things and older man can't is beyond nonsense

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DrizztLink posted...

Don't try to think too hard, you'll hurt yourself.

how do you get your armor so shiny?

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CalypsoDoom posted...

That would require a lot of maneuvering because you have to hook defib pads to the person and connect to the defibrillator device and frankly the ones we had were so heavy you could probably knock someone out with them anyways

How dare you bring your logic into my action movie existence.

Next you'll tell me that Schwarzenegger can't shoot down a helicopter with a missile that has a guy hanging off of it.

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ModLogic posted...

how do you get your armor so shiny?

I clean it.

Basic hygiene is confusing for you, I know.

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DrizztLink posted...

I clean it.

Basic hygiene is confusing for you, I know.

i know you're trying really hard to impress your e-princess. but shiny doesn't mean clean. you'd probably know that if you actually knew about hygiene.

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Harpie posted...

These comparisons some cemen are bringing up just arent relevant. A man being called sweety or dear by an older woman is very different that being called those same names by a man as a woman.

Why is it different? Seems like they're both pretty weird to me.
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CalypsoDoom posted...

I disagree with calling anyone pet names in a professional setting, regardless of gender.

Its about context

If that's what acceptable in a workplace no matter how professional then fine

But calling someone dear isn't a pet name. It's near enough harmless.

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Harpie posted...

These comparisons some cemen are bringing up just arent relevant. A man being called sweety or dear by an older woman is very different that being called those same names by a man as a woman.

This dude is my age lmao. And same role and level as me but trying to act like my superior. But somehow thats the same as some granny down the street that calls everyone dear in the south and I shouldnt get mad. Yeah, ok lol

Oh no. How very, very awful. And stuff.

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Out of curiousity do most of you think saying "Dear, x" in letters is also weird?

I've never seen so many people with this weird take

Def not in the same category as pet names or "bro/dude"

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WizardPowers posted...

Out of curiousity do most of you think saying "Dear, x" in letters is also weird?

I've never seen so many people with this weird take

Def not in the same category as pet names or "bro/dude"

A more appropriate comparison would be starting a letter with "My Dearest x." And yes, that would be weird as fuck and completely inappropriate for work communications or with somebody you aren't already quite familiar with.

Tenlaar posted...

A more appropriate comparison would be starting a letter with "My Dearest x." And yes, that would be weird as fuck and completely inappropriate for work communications or with somebody you aren't already quite familiar with.

Dear and my dear arent that different

The difference is just semantics

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WizardPowers posted...

Dear and my dear arent that different

The difference is just semantics

The difference isn't semantic, it's possessive.

User Since: Sep 2015Karma: 916
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Quite frankly my dear I don't give a Van Damme

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Tenlaar posted...

The difference isn't semantic, it's possessive.

So if he had just said "here you go dear" you think that would be a lot different?

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Where I come from, and this is just my area, its not meant as a form of closeness from a loved one. It's more or less a greeting. For example "My dear, I don't know what your talking about, but you've lost your mind.", or "My Dear, you can't beat that with a frozen rabbit". Or "How are you doing today, my dear?". No one uses it to talk to talk about loved ones.

The people who are saying it's perfectly fine probably think that that if a girl doesn't verbally say no to sex than it's not rape. Because they're using the same logic here.
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WizardPowers posted...

So if he had just said "here you go dear" you think that would be a lot different?

"Dear X" in a letter heading does not have the same connotation of a personal connection as calling somebody dear in the way that it was used with the TC. You're free to pretend that this is beyond your ability to comprehend but it's not going to make you look good.

nothanks1 posted...

User Since: Sep 2015Karma: 916

Needs more amp.

Conflict posted...

My point was that it's weird in general no matter who says it. And it's not just old women saying that too

I dont disagree with that. I dont like terms of endearment from anyone Im not already in good terms with. Especially in a professional setting. Ive had random older men and women refer me as dear etc., out in the world. I dont like it but I dont make a big deal out of it. But if its in a professional setting and used in a patronizing way, its obviously completely different and its amazing to me that I have to explain that to some people here.

Tenlaar posted...

"Dear X" in a letter heading does not have the same connotation of a personal connection as calling somebody dear in the way that it was used with the TC. You're free to pretend that this is beyond your ability to comprehend but it's not going to make you look good.

I asked you if

"Here you go dear"
And
"here you go my dear"

Are a lot different to you. Do you think that?

And the majority of the world would have no issues being called dear in a friendly inoffensive way. Who would I look bad to?

You have the niche take here not me lol

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Cleo_II posted...

This dude is my age lmao. And same role and level as me but trying to act like my superior. But somehow thats the same as some granny down the street that calls everyone dear in the south and I shouldnt get mad. Yeah, ok lol

In all fairness, between the topic title and the opening post, you really didn't explain any of that. You were fuming about the fact that he ended his message with "my dear" and fuck him and guys like him.

It wasn't until your 3rd, or 4th reply that you explained that he's your peer, trying to you give you orders and that the "my dear" sounded condescending with that context.

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Jesus, you sound like a bitch to work with.

I refer to my female coworkers as love, beautiful, gorgeous, etc.

XxKrebsxX posted...

Jesus, you sound like a bitch to work with.

I refer to my female coworkers as love, beautiful, gorgeous, etc.

This is weird. The OP was not

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XxKrebsxX posted...

Jesus, you sound like a bitch to work with.

I refer to my female coworkers as love, beautiful, gorgeous, etc.

I can guarantee they talk about how creepy and off putting they find you when you're not around.
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Ahh yes the old, If you dont put up with shitty sexist behavior then youre just an uptight bitch line. Was wondering when Id see that.

And this is why Ive yet to respond to the guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1MLO4Yecao


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