Current Events > I legit cannot believe how bad the Balan Wonderworld demo is

(+) Yeah! (+)

How?

How was this game allowed to be made?

It's like some kind of one-day asset flip or something.

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THE WATER DOESN'T EVEN HAVE FUCKING COLLISION DETECTION. YOU RUN ON IT LIKE IT'S ROCK FFS

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It looks and plays like something made in Dreams.

And it's full price.

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DarkRoast posted...

It's like some kind of one-day asset flip or something.

I know nothing about the game but saw a playthrough of the demo

I literally thought it was a lame ass steam early access asset flip

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It's so bad, it legitimately doesn't make sense.

HOW does this game EVEN FUCKING EXIST in this state?

WHO thought it was a good idea to release a demo?

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SQUARE ENIX is selling this shit at SIXTY FUCKING DOLLAAAAAAARRRRRSSSS

Seriously WHAT

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Cant wait

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Heard some impressions on a podcast and I'm morbidly curious.

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DarkRoast posted...

WHO thought it was a good idea to release a demo?

better that than getting suckered out of $60 by hype and bullshots.

Square-Enix really knows how to pick them. Quiet Man and Left Alive are also some of the worst games of their respective years.

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Lmao yeah played this and the demo is total dogshit. It took me back to the PS1 days.

What even is the concept of this game supposed to be? Why am I playing as some shitty kid instead of Balan Wonderworld. Why is nearly every single button jump? Why are there people dancing who fade away if I approach them. Why does the screen constantly have weird ripples like someone is using a touchscreen. Why is there a random farmer who gets taken over by a tornado and then you save him and dance together? What are tims and why are they following me?

The boss looks cool but I don't even really know what I did to beat him? Apparently I just jumped into his ass and he died?

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I was gonna give this demo a go over the weekend. I'll save myself the time now.

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It's made by Yuji Naka and Naoto Oshima, btw. They're the two guys who made Sanic.

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Every day this game looks worse and worse

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This is put out by square?

...my initial reaction was, why is she upset by some mobile game?.

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Alteres posted...

...my initial reaction was, why is she upset by some mobile game?.

Everything about this demo suggests it used to be another free-to-play mobile moneyhole, until it was executive-meddled into being a $60 console game.

Tom Clark posted...

I was gonna give this demo a go over the weekend. I'll save myself the time now.

I think you have to give it a shot to truly understand.

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Darmik posted...

Lmao yeah played this and the demo is total dogshit. It took me back to the PS1 days.

What even is the concept of this game supposed to be? Why am I playing as some shitty kid instead of Balan Wonderworld. Why is nearly every single button jump? Why are there people dancing who fade away if I approach them. Why does the screen constantly have weird ripples like someone is using a touchscreen. Why is there a random farmer who gets taken over by a tornado and then you save him and dance together? What are tims and why are they following me?

The boss looks cool but I don't even really know what I did to beat him? Apparently I just jumped into his ass and he died?

I know, right? It's almost impossible to explain just how wrong it feels to people who haven't played it.


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Simon_Petrikov posted...

I think you have to give it a shot to truly understand.

This.

Yeah I didn't even go into how bad the animations are. A fundamental goal of a platformer is to have a character who is fun to play. The main character looks like they're sliding around like Sonic in Sonic Adventure but without the speed. It looks awful and feels awful to play.

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The thing is, it's not bad in the way Sonic 2006 was bad. Even Sonic 2006 felt like an actual game that was made with a certain direction. This literally feels like someone plopped random shit onto a 3D grid and vaguely turned it into a game at the very last moment.

None of it makes any sense, and stuff just happens for no rhyme or reason. The levels are completely random gibberish. the fact that characters don't talk but disappear when you get close is incomprehensible to me.

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Even getting a power-up ability is just wrong. It's clearly based around Mario but how those work are clearly obvious. You either pick up the appropriate power-up that looks unique or in Odyssey's case you take over an enemy.

Here there are purple gems that you need to unlock with key. Who will you be? Maybe you'll be like one of those dancing guys who fade away when you walk towards them. But honestly I'm not entirely sure if those dancers didn't appear until after I got the power-up that matched their costume.

Then the only thing a power up does is...change how you jump. Because jumping and cycling powers are the only things you can do in the game.

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Also why do power up crystals require keys, yet the keys constantly respawn even though the crystals don't? And they respawn right next to the crystals, so it's not like there's ever a time where you want the power up but don't have a key.

You usually wind up having a massive excess of keys.

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Also in one level I literally just walked through a normal door to another area and an entire fucking crew of dancing animals surrounded me and started celebrating... And I didn't even fucking DO ANYTHING.

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DarkRoast posted...

Also in one level I literally just walked through a normal door to another area and an entire fucking crew of dancing animals surrounded me and started celebrating... And I didn't even fucking DO ANYTHING.

I think they celebrate you getting to a new section? But why? Who are these people? Are they in danger? Why do they fade away and disappear?

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Darmik posted...

I think they celebrate you getting to a new section? But why? Who are these people? Are they in danger? Why do they fade away and disappear?

It is so crazy, there's almost something appealing to how completely inexplicable it all is. Like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

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Yeah, I mean you shouldn't have to grind for costumes in a 3D platformer, even Bubsy 3D doesn't have such an ass backwards and unfitting mechanic.
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Oh yeah did you find that random minigame where Balan rewards you with...him flying around and kicking things and you then press a button when an image of Balan syncs up with Balan for some reason? Then the game rates you on your timing?

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Darmik posted...

Oh yeah did you find that random minigame where Balan rewards you with...a cutscene of him flying around and kicking things and you then press a button when an image of Balan syncs up with Balan for some reason? Then the game rates you on your timing?

But also literally doesn't tell you why he's doing it

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"WTF is going on" in one scene

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf4kLISWU0Y&ab_channel=DeathMonkeyXLGT


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