Poll of the Day > Do you think you could fight a swan

(+) Yeah! (+)

You have no warning its just attacking you right now as you are reading this

full grown swan

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It wouldn't be a fight so much as it'd be a feast. I'm close enough to my kitchen, that thing's getting plucked and roasted for its insolence.

Sure thing. I just need to duck his stronger moves and he's done for.

I'll fuck a swan up bro

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This is why bare-knuckle swan fighting was a popular street sport in late medieval Europe. Successful fighting swans became celebrities in their own right, and some became quite wealthy by the time they retired.

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Mead posted...

You have no warning its just attacking you right now as you are reading this

full grown swan

If that's actual size, no problem.

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I don't expect even a large waterfowl to be able to make itself enough of a threat to warrant retaliatory harm. Even with the maximum aggression of a life-risking parental defender, it would count against me to respond violently in such an uneven conflict. Now, if you had said a cassowary, that would be more interesting. I'd still endeavor to end the conflict with minimal harm to either side, but whether or not I'd be able to afford such mercy while avoiding severe and potentially lethal injuries myself I could not be certain.

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My macaw got into a fight with a swan once

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I've also got this duck called a Muscovy duck. He has these really big spurs that could actually do some damage, and his bill is fairly sharp. I doubt any full grown human would fall to a swan, but if the swan is anything like my duck it could still do some damage

http://imgur.com/E6Qlt0s

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Is the swan ill tempered?
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Nope. I've been in a situation where I had to help give one an antibiotic and it was scary.

stapler87 posted...

Is the swan ill tempered?

its out for blood

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yes, my friends mother owns swans, ok?

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You can't just go full apemode and expect results by punching a swan in the face... you have to fight a swan LIKE a swan. That means biting its neck off... and we have the power jaws to do it.

But if that's gross... well, just choke it out.

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Obviously if I had to, should be pretty easy to take out even if you do get a little banged up

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Are swans as aggressive as geese? Cuz geese can be scary TBH

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Metalsonic66 posted...

Are swans as aggressive as geese? Cuz geese can be scary TBH

Swans are a lot meaner than geese

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Let's say you're able to fight the swan off and it attempts to make a tactical retreat.

You guys letting the fucker take off or are you going after it?
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Hell yeah I have a plastic six pack ring holder in the fridge rip in peace wildlife.

Swans can be killed immediately by a human with hands that are capable of grabbing a noodle and bending it over 150 degrees.

I would eat it. Geese and likewise creatures deserve to die for their arrogance.

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I'm on my porch in my pajamas with no shoes

I'm still pretty sure I could still just grab it by the neck and swing it around

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Battered and deep fried

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