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Current Events > A man dies and is waiting to be transported to Heaven

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EzeDoesIt
05/01/21 3:34:57 PM
#1:


He asks Death about what happens next. Death replies "YOU WERE A GOOD MAN ON EARTH , YOU WILL GO TO HEAVEN , WHERE YOU WILL ENJOY ETERNAL YOUTH , YOU CAN DO BASICALLY ANYTHING YOU WANT , ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES ".

The man thinks to himself, "that's wonderful", and settles down for the journey.

Death announces that he has to go and speak to St Peter and do the paperwork, so the man is left alone for a while in Death's office.

He thinks to himself about what he wants to do when he gets there, he could eat all of the delicious foods he never got to try on earth, he could drive the best sports cars he could imagine, he could even be a care-free child again.

He lingers on that final thought for a moment, it's so appealing to him to be able to run around, play, be silly, with nobody judging him. He gets excited, and stands up.

Death walks back into the office, just in time to see the man bouncing on the sofa. He asks "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" to which the man replies "I'm having the time of my life, or should I say time of my death?" Just as he finishes speaking, the sofa tears open, and the man falls all the way through. Death is furious and screams "DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THAT WAS!? I HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO EARTH NOW TO GET A NEW ONE". The man sheepishly apologises.

Death asks the man to stand up, and they begin their journey to the afterlife. As they arrive, Death says to the man "GO INSIDE, THEY WILL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO FROM HERE". He obliges.

As he walks in, Satan says to the man "Welcome to Hell"

"Hell!?" the man splutters. "But I was told I was going to heaven, there must have been some kind of mistake!

"Unfortunately that is not the case. You see, in life, you were a good man, however in death, you have behaved recklessly and with no consideration for the reaper cushions."


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#2
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Irony
05/01/21 3:36:53 PM
#3:


https://youtu.be/fVmTTQmERjc

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SwiggitySwoogit
05/01/21 3:36:54 PM
#4:


I didn't laugh.
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Chicken
05/01/21 3:36:56 PM
#5:


Uuuuughhhhh

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gmanthebest
05/01/21 3:37:33 PM
#6:


Hah

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V-E-G-Y-
05/01/21 3:37:50 PM
#7:


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Smackems
05/01/21 3:38:11 PM
#8:


Oh. God. Yes.

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Panthera
05/01/21 3:40:19 PM
#9:


Ow my brain

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3PiesAndAFork
05/01/21 3:42:18 PM
#10:


That was funny, I admit.

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@('_')@
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CelestialVoices
05/01/21 3:45:47 PM
#11:


heh....

eh
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Frosted_Midna
05/01/21 8:25:37 PM
#12:


Pretty good.

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I4NRulez
05/01/21 8:26:54 PM
#13:


lol that paid off better than i thought.

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IHeartRadiation
05/01/21 8:45:50 PM
#14:


I skipped to the punchline and you still got the closest thing you could hope for a laugh out of me.

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Ha
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