Current Events > Help! I had sex with my close friend's ex the same week they broke up, what do?

(+) Yeah! (+)

PatrickMahomes posted...

pics

I'm lazy:
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/400-current-events/79447265
^Should be some there

Also I'm going to bed soon so that's part of the lazy.

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Flawless_Lee posted...

I don't know if you've ever had a special spark with someone but ya it just kind of happened naturally.

Just admit you wanted to bone him. It didn't just happen.

WingsOfGood posted...

Just admit you wanted to bone him. It didn't just happen.

She probably did want to bone him.

But just because the average CEman can't fathom spontaneous sex doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

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Wii_Shaker posted...

She probably did want to bone him.

But just because the average CEman can't fathom spontaneous sex doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

You guys need to read this:

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/etc/when_sex_just_happened_and_how_to_make_it_happen_instead

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a1336/-it-just-happened/

Here is a good one

https://jezebel.com/the-trouble-with-it-just-happened-5857078

And the thing is, tc put HELP, in the title.
Why would you need help if you just had awesome sex with a guy you see a great future with?
You wouldn't.
Sex just happened mindset will lead you to more places where you cry HELP either on the internet or to friends in real life.

Take responsibility.

Yeah, I'm not reading that.

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Wii_Shaker posted...

Yeah, I'm not reading that.

one important point is doing you make them wear protection as it just "spontaneously happens"?
Might ruin the mood right?
Other talking points are the lines of consent. Might try reading it friend.

Hey TC ditch your bd and get with a real chad like me. Ijs <___<
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Idk have SEX with them again I guess

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Flawless_Lee posted...

It was my town first! She's not even from here, she's from Quebec!

Run her out of town then!

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Sounds like you've already made your choice. Whether or not she wants to continue your friendship is up to her

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WingsOfGood posted...

You guys need to read this:

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/etc/when_sex_just_happened_and_how_to_make_it_happen_instead

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a1336/-it-just-happened/

WingsOfGood posted...

Here is a good one

https://jezebel.com/the-trouble-with-it-just-happened-5857078

And the thing is, tc put HELP, in the title.
Why would you need help if you just had awesome sex with a guy you see a great future with?
You wouldn't.
Sex just happened mindset will lead you to more places where you cry HELP either on the internet or to friends in real life.

Take responsibility.

I'm sorry am I supposed to take you seriously when one of your links are Cosmo and the other two are called Scarleteen and Jezebel?
I never said the sex, "just happened", I know how we got there, but the spark just happened.
Anyway I'm off to bed. Thanks for the before bed giggle at those resources!

RedJackson posted...

Idk have SEX with them again I guess

See this person gets it!

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Flawless_Lee posted...

Yar it's me! I posted a last week proving it. Got to 500 woo!

Well, that certainly takes me back to being a teenager posting on CE.

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Flawless_Lee posted...

Thanks for the before bed giggle at those resources!

My teenybop mags have been mocked! :O

Flawless_Lee posted...

I mean it's already been like a month so that first option is out the window and not what I want.

Then it seems like you've made up your mind. Why bother asking us what to do?

I understand and sympathize that you don't want to hurt your friend right now, but if you've been fucking around with her BF before or just after their breakup, the ethical choice is to either break up with the guy and spare your friend's feelings or tell your friend and live with the fallout. I think keeping her in the dark about this, despite your best intentions, is a serious breach of trust and it's selfish - and if you've been seeing this guy since before they broke up, it's undeniably shitty and selfish what you've been doing. There's no way around that.

And the longer you leave this, the longer it's going to hurt your friend - it's shitty to ruin her birthday, but it might be shittier for her to realise you were fucking her ex the entire time before you told her, including when it was her birthday and you presumably celebrated with her and was all chummy the entire time.

You seem to have made up your mind about what you want to do, so by all means, go do that. But understand that despite your best intentions, you're not coming out of this clean and you're not an innocent party in all of this. If you won't do the right thing, then you should live with that.

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This is riddle topic levels of shenanigans. Why are we talking about the past as if it's the present in here?

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Lol she never did explain the BF situation.

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spikethedevil posted...

Lol she never did explain the BF situation.

She probably was never going to.

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You shouldn't have come back.

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It is very CE behavior to get a story and then try to "detective" their way through it despite TC basically admitting to the circumstances.

I honestly have no advice for such a situation but I will say it's nice to have Lee back as she's one of the few people I remember who can make CE dance to her tune.

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CyricZ posted...

it's nice to have Lee back as she's one of the few people I remember who can make CE dance to her tune.

Hope she sees this, bro!

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So is the situation here that CE can't figure out that this is an older story?

Because that's my guess.

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DrizztLink posted...

So is the situation here that CE can't figure out that this is an older story?

Because that's my guess.

I responded to the first post, didn't realise this was an older story because the topic title is in present tense.

So yeah, went charging in without all the info. mb.

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Hi TC.

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DrizztLink posted...

So is the situation here that CE can't figure out that this is an older story?

Because that's my guess.

I have no excuse for why this didnt cross my mind except for it being written in the present tense.

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DrizztLink posted...

So is the situation here that CE can't figure out that this is an older story?

Because that's my guess.

She basically said as much in post 26. People just ignored it, I guess.

TBF It was the early hours of the morning for me and I just didnt connect the dots.

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Yes you guys finally figured it out! This is the story of how my boyfriend and I got together in December 2019. At the time I wanted to ask what I should do but never worked up the courage to ask anonymous strangers so I was genuinely curious to see what the answers would be. Also since I had no FlawlessLee Classic current stories I thought I'd frame an old one as something current just to make it feel like old times. Posting it was actually a lot harder than it used to be.

I'll write something up about what actually ended up happening.

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Flawless_Lee posted...

Yes you guys finally figured it out!

It was exceedingly obvious early on, so I don't know why you kept playing coy.

Wait, no. I do. #PostCount

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Gobstoppers12 posted...

It was exceedingly obvious early on, so I don't know why you kept playing coy.

Wait, no. I do. #PostCount

I was waiting until someone got it but you were the first one! Everyone was thinking of everything under the sun except the obvious answer.

CosmicShadows posted...

Hey TC ditch your bd and get with a real chad like me. Ijs <___<

Um...no I'm good...

Unknown5uspect posted...

Run her out of town then!

I don't even know where she is now and I'm good with that lol

Solid Snake07 posted...

Sounds like you've already made your choice. Whether or not she wants to continue your friendship is up to her

Ya I did, that friendship wasn't worth as much as what I had going on with him.

TreyFlowers posted...

Well, that certainly takes me back to being a teenager posting on CE.

Same, feels just weird doing it now.

MrMallard posted...

Then it seems like you've made up your mind. Why bother asking us what to do?

I understand and sympathize that you don't want to hurt your friend right now, but if you've been fucking around with her BF before or just after their breakup, the ethical choice is to either break up with the guy and spare your friend's feelings or tell your friend and live with the fallout. I think keeping her in the dark about this, despite your best intentions, is a serious breach of trust and it's selfish - and if you've been seeing this guy since before they broke up, it's undeniably shitty and selfish what you've been doing. There's no way around that.

And the longer you leave this, the longer it's going to hurt your friend - it's shitty to ruin her birthday, but it might be shittier for her to realise you were fucking her ex the entire time before you told her, including when it was her birthday and you presumably celebrated with her and was all chummy the entire time.

You seem to have made up your mind about what you want to do, so by all means, go do that. But understand that despite your best intentions, you're not coming out of this clean and you're not an innocent party in all of this. If you won't do the right thing, then you should live with that.

I was pretty clear that I did not have sex with him prior to them breaking up, nor did I talk to him at all outside of parties which was very brief. Nothing was going on before the break up. I wasn't going to go to her birthday, I don't even think anything is going on we haven't even talked in a month. You keep adding details in, in your head that I never said. I didn't see the point in telling her before it was anything serious, that's just hurtful. I never intended to come out clean, I know the friendship is gone which I'm not really torn up about giving that she was a shitty friend to me but I wanted to try and tell her without it blowing up and becoming dangerous for her or us given her history.

CyricZ posted...

It is very CE behavior to get a story and then try to "detective" their way through it despite TC basically admitting to the circumstances.

I honestly have no advice for such a situation but I will say it's nice to have Lee back as she's one of the few people I remember who can make CE dance to her tune.

Aw thank you! I don't even know if the same style of posting is still from me, this has been so odd. Can't really share this crazy story IRL so at least I got to tell it somewhere!
They've been funny, guessing all these wild things, adding in stuff I never said, been cool to see how current CE is. Pretty much what I remember.

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I'm sorry, I was going by the topic title and the first post you made.

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In my defence it was stupid o clock in the morning for me lol.

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MrMallard posted...

I'm sorry, I was going by the topic title and the first post you made.

Ya I read the title again and was like oh shoot, I didn't actually put in it I slept with him AFTER the break up. Waking up early + migraine brain is not a good look for me making sense.

spikethedevil posted...

In my defence it was stupid o clock in the morning for me lol.

Fair. I think it was like 2 when I posted before bed. I had a migraine flair up plus I got up earlier than I usually do so I was ultra off my game as well. We come here for fun not for perfection!

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Glad the mystery is solved. Now I can go back to ignoring this topic.

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So, what happened to that friend?

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Okay now that everyone has figured it out. This is a story from my past, December 2019 to be exact. It is the story of how my boyfriend that I live with and I got together.

What ended up happening?

While I was trying to think of a way to tell her she figured it out. We had New Years Eve together with some friends where we let them know, we took a group picture. I posted the picture (another friend had already posted it to snapchat which she could see), where I am sitting beside another female friend, hes a good distance away from me, I thought itd be safe, its just a picture of a group of friends, people who know each other celebrating New Years.

Apparently our friends already figured it out for different reasons, one because I left alone from her place with him then told her for New Years that I had to wait for the guy Im seeing to get off work so he could come and she put that together. Another friend noticed that my BF was liking all my pics on Instagram so he thought something was going on. I guess we werent as discreet as we thought.

I was staying the week after New Years at his place and while we were playing games with his best friend, she messages him. Can I ask you a question? and we all though Oh shit! Its happening. He says shoot. Shes asks is something going on between you and Cailey? Since shes been sending so many pictures with the guys hand and were all curious and hes asks back, Well isnt there something going on between you and Ben? Shes says lol no I would never date him! (well come back to that). BF then confirms that yes we are together. She gets really mad, cant believe youd do that with my friend, you are just trying to hurt me, I thought I finally had a girl friend but I guess not. Hes like how is this different from when you said you dated an entire group of your friends exs? She says its different. Conversation kind of ends there. I said to him I should sent her a message hes like no dont.

Later that night she sends me a message saying Cailey please dont I did end up sending her a message when I wasnt around him saying, I dont think there is anything I can say that will help or make things not feel the way they do for you. Both of us did not set out to hurt you. But I will say I am sorry I hurt you. She never replied, never expected her to, she was hurt by what we did. She posts under my next Instagram picture, Have fun darling and I just ignore it. Next week she sends him a message say shes sorry for the way she reacted and she understands he wasnt trying to hurt her and she gets his point about her having done it in the past so she gets why it could happen. So nothing too dramatic happened, the worry was worse than the reality.

Only time we interacted with her after was when we decided to move she came to get her stuff she had left and give him money for the Switch they purchased together. I stayed inside while he took everything out to her.

Now I mentioned before that she denied she would ever date this Ben guy. She was previously sending him pictures with him, after theyd post pictures that would match what the other one posted around holidays, they took a trip together, showed up when she was picking her stuff up, I suspected that she actually just may be in a relationship with this guy. She was newly 23 and this guy looks to me late 30s early 40s but hey my best friend married a guy with a large age gap and she is quite happy and loves him very much so it can work. But nothing ever was confirmed and they posted very little.

Then come Halloween 2020 and surprise! She and Ben got married that day! We all kind of chuckled because she said she would never date him, spooky gal Halloween wedding, no one knew they were dating let alone engaged even some of her friends and family were surprised, and it had been less than a year since the break up so a pretty fast-moving relationship. Best of luck to this guy but she was not a great partner to my BF. Shed spend money on silly things then not have rent money, he ended up basically paying all of their rent, she didnt really cook, didnt really clean, lied about things, was ultra possessive and jealous, tried to hang herself when he tried to break up with her, started cutting herself during a fight, she proposed to him but did so while holding a knife so he had to say yes under duress, told our friend that he hits which is definitely untrue (I mean weve really fought and hes never even come close to touching me). I hope to god shes worked on herself for this guys sake but its not our problem anymore.

We heard from her recently. She wanted our phone number, his job info, and his address because she needs to get top level security clearance for a job offer she got. All we felt comfortable giving her was his phone number which she already had, we dont want her knowing his job or where we live. I have always had a thing about keeping my location very private due to stalkers so Im not going to give my address out to just anyone. Also if they were to contact him, I mean he would not have great things to say, she definitely shouldnt be in a job with top level security clearance.

In the end not as bad as we would have thought but glad we are out of the mess with her.

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This whole topic is wtf.

But it does feel like the old FlawlessLee. Sex, causing problems, not knowing what to do. Random horniness. At least he wasn't married or anything.

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Sunhawk posted...

This whole topic is wtf.

But it does feel like the old FlawlessLee. Sex, causing problems, not knowing what to do. Random horniness. At least he wasn't married or anything.

Chaos is the goal :D The topic tell me where to take it once it's going.
Sir, I have never had sex with a married man, ew. I'm looking for forever not to be a side chick.

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Are you actually commited to your current boyfriend?

To be fair, we have had long term couples on this board in open relationships. crud pickle had an open marriage. pinky was engaged, and I think it was open. I suppose it wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

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Sunhawk posted...

Are you actually commited to your current boyfriend?

To be fair, we have had long term couples on this board in open relationships. crud pickle had an open marriage. pinky was engaged, and I think it was open. I suppose it wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

Read all the posts.


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Well I'm glad it worked out after a fashion. It is something, the lengths people will go to convince themselves that it's all about them, really.

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Sunhawk posted...

Are you actually commited to your current boyfriend?

To be fair, we have had long term couples on this board in open relationships. crud pickle had an open marriage. pinky was engaged, and I think it was open. I suppose it wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

Yes, committed relationship, not open. We both have discussed that that is not an option either of us want, we like being committed to one person only.

CyricZ posted...

Well I'm glad it worked out after a fashion. It is something, the lengths people will go to convince themselves that it's all about them, really.

Ya everything is wrapped up in it's own weird way, hopefully everyone is happy now.
I already set myself up as the bad guy of the story so I don't know why people had to try to make it sound like I was way worse haha But that's what would happen before so I'm not even surprised. It was entertaining, I was reading the stuff that said I'm cheating on my BF or asking if he knew to my boyfriend and he was laughing.

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Was an entertaining topic so its a 10/10 from me lol.

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I can't believe I wasted my time reading this garbage. TC got me.

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spikethedevil posted...

Was an entertaining topic so its a 10/10 from me lol.

Excellent I am here for you entertainment.

The_Yahtz09 posted...

I can't believe I wasted my time reading this garbage. TC got me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79DijItQXMM

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Flawless_Lee posted...

Yes, committed relationship, not open.

Nothing against personal choice but non-monogamous marriages/relationships can be every bit as committed as monogamous ones! It's not a great point of differentiation.

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I wish I had a woman to commit to

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marthsheretoo posted...

non-monogamous marriages/relationships can be every bit as committed as monogamous ones

Generally, when people say "commitment" with regards to relationships, they mean monogamy.

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marthsheretoo posted...

Nothing against personal choice but non-monogamous marriages/relationships can be every bit as committed as monogamous ones! It's not a great point of differentiation.

It's the way the other user put it so I used their wording. I recognize non-monogamous relationship can be committed. Plus I said committed, not open which non-monogamous people could also say committed, open.

Veggeta X posted...

I wish I had a woman to commit to

Still haven't found one for you sorry :(

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I suspect my boyfriend may have had very early COVID shortly after we got together too. I told him to go to a doctor for so long but he never did so we may never know. If he has worse side effects to the vaccine when we get them on the 23rd it could be a clue too. I never seemed to have picked it up, thank godness for his exams around that time, and not thank godness for this, but that my dad had a cardiac event on his birthday so I was busy with going to the hospital.

Funny story is on my dad's birthday he was about to go shovel snow and I said to him, don't shovel snow on your birthday! Do you know how many people your age have heart attacks shoveling snow? You don't want to do to the hospital on your 65th (official senior) birthday!
Well he went to do the snow anyway, he's like I'll be fine. Seems fine the rest of the night. Goes up to bed. I was staying over and I'm up late and at about 1 or 2 in the morning he comes down and is like I need to go to the hospital something is wrong with my heart. Drive him there and then through him talking to the doctor he let it out that the problems started while he was shoveling the snow several hours earlier. I've never had a more I told you so thing to say in my life haha.

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