Current Events > Alright CE. I need some advice on some real shit. The more opinions the better

(+) Yeah! (+)

Alright. I've been playing on Xbox for probably close to 15 years. I've meet a ton of good friends. Many of them I've met in real life several times and hanged out with. We have had group ups where we all get together and everything. One guy that I was cool with I cut off 5 years ago. There was a rumor going around that he went to jail for... messing with his daughter in some way sexually. I think it was something about pictures but I can't remember.

The rumor was that his baby mama hated him and how the kids favored him (he has 2 kids) so she lied to the police about him and got him arrested. There was no way to confirm this for me so I sat back and waited to see what happened. He ended up going to jail and stayed in jail for 5 years. So I assumed that whatever he did, he was guilty of.

Now then... He has reached out to me 5 years later after getting out of jail. He said he made some stupid mistakes, I guess confirming it was true, and he hated himself for doing what he did. He is trying to get his life back together and start over. I mean... going to jail is about reforming oneself and being a better person. This is next level though. I don't know if I can look past THIS or I even should. Should I reach back and try to help him get his life back on track by actually just being his friend or should I cut him out my life? Cutting him out my life is the easy thing to do and probably makes the most sense but if everyone cuts out people that go to jail/prison then how hard will it be for that person to reform?

I feel like I'm having a clash in my ethical values here. He did something disgusting so I shouldn't associate with him. Yet, helping him recover and become a productive member of society is also something that should be done.

I don't know CE. Help me out here. I told y'all this was some real shit.

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hell no fuck that shit

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and people won't even give me a fucking ll invite??

fuck no

mushroommetal posted...

and people won't even give me a fucking ll invite??

II? What?

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DepreceV2 posted...

He said he made some stupid mistakes

thats the biggest shittiest grossest understatement Ive heard in a minute

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I wouldn't associate with this dude personally. I think it's time to walk away. I get that he did his time, but shit like this usually doesn't change. I'd walk.

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Voted no before reading the OP.

Read OP.

Happy with my vote

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someone get me a fucjing ll invite

Depends. If you actually enjoy his company than sure make the effort to be his friend and help get his life back on track. If you dont, then dont feel like you have to in order to be a good person, he needs friends who can forgive him for what he did.

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David1988 posted...

Depends. If you actually enjoy his company than sure make the effort to be his friend and help get his life back on track. If you dont, then dont feel like you have to in order to be a good person, he needs friends who can forgive him for what he did.

tell him to get euthanized first, tc. then say you'll think about hanging out

anth0ny you're gonna get yourself suspended stop it

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they banned my 17 year account

fuck the popo 5-0

Yikes, on one hand I'm all about the prison system being built around rehabilitation and part of that is trying to try and help people move past their past crimes so they can have a normal life. And part of that means having friends and family again. Otherwise the people become societal outcast, which just increases the loneliness and desperation and can lead to relapsing.

But man, crimes toward children is a LOT to get past.

I think the thing to remember is that you are in no way responsible for his emotional health. So if you are not comfortable with spending any social time with him or don't feel like it would be healthy for you, just say no without an ounce of guilt. But if you want to give him a shot, I guess start in a super limited capacity. Play games with the dude online or something. Try to get a feeling about what he did, why he did it, and how sincere he is about his regret and reformation. If anything he says feels fishy/suspicious/uncomfortable/etc. cut ties. Don't meet him in person, regardless.

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Nah, he needs a fresh start with new people. Once you know this about someone there's no looking past that.

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Compsognathus posted...

Yikes, on one hand I'm all about the prison system being built around rehabilitation and part of that is trying to try and help people move past their past crimes so they can have a normal life. And part of that means having friends and family again. Otherwise the people become societal outcast, which just increases the loneliness and desperation and can lead to relapsing.

But man, crimes toward children is a LOT to get past.

I think the thing to remember is that you are in no way responsible for his emotional health. So if you are not comfortable with spending any social time with him or don't feel like it would be healthy for you, just say no without an ounce of guilt. But if you want to give him a shot, I guess start in a super limited capacity. Play games with the dude online or something. Try to get a feeling about what he did, why he did it, and how sincere he is about his regret and reformation. If anything he says feels fishy/suspicious/uncomfortable/etc. cut ties. Don't meet him in person, regardless.

This advice sounds very reasonable. Im leaning towards this for now but I havent made a decision yet


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I'm gonna say no unless you guys were really close friends. From the sounds of it though, he was just a decent friend you meet online and occasionally in person.

I could MAYBE say yes if it was someone you were close to in person and they served their time, but I gotta go no here personally.
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toadfan64 posted...

I'm gonna say no unless you guys were really close friends. From the sounds of it though, he was just a decent friend you meet online and occasionally in person.

I could MAYBE say yes if it was someone you were close to in person and they served their time, but I gotta go no here personally.

Eh. It's hard to define close here. We didn't see each other much but I gamed with him for probably close to a decade. So I don't know how valuable that would be for friendship

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DepreceV2 posted...

Eh. It's hard to define close here. We didn't see each other much but I gamed with him for probably close to a decade. So I don't know how valuable that would be for friendship

I have friends online that I've known for 15+ years as well that I'd consider good friends, but if the same situation arose with them, I feel like I'd cut them off.

If you are leaning on yes, I'd recommend just some online hanging and games at first. Maybe from there if he's shown true remorse I culd see an IRL hangout way down the line.

If you're leaning no though, I'd just cut connection.
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Bump

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I don't know, man.

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Last bump. I was hoping to at least get some more votes

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is he going to pay you for being his friend??

Hard choice for outsiders. Either way you're fine: you haven't talked to him in 5 years. I doubt an attempt to pick up where you left off will feel the same.
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