Current Events > Husband refuses to go to the birth of his first child because of work.

(+) Yeah! (+)

It's fair to say that most parents would describe the birth of their child as one of the most important moments in their life. In fact, we'd go as far as saying it's one of those moments you wouldn't miss for the world - at least, if you can help it.

Sadly, one man recently told his wife the devastating news that he won't be able to make the birth of their first child due to work commitments, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, the mum-to-be is not happy.

"I have a scheduled C-section on Sunday and my husband said he can't be there with me because he has a business trip that he'll be leaving for Saturday evening," the woman explained

"He said he couldn't skip the trip even if he tried and claimed that because he missed several work trips in the past six months, he's worried he might lose his job if he declined to go."

The man told his wife he thought he'd lose his job if he couldn't go on the work

The mum-to-be asked her hubby whether he could explain the situation to his boss, only to be told that he wouldn't listen or care, leaving her feeling extremely anxious about going through the birth alone.

"The problem is that this is my first time and like any other woman I wanted my husband to be there with me as support," she continued. "His excuse was that I have an entire medical team and it's not like this was a natural birth because I will be under anaesthesia."

Instead, the dad suggested that she should take her mum, or even his own mum, to the hospital with her, but she insisted she wanted him to be the first person to meet their son.

The man went on to tell his wife that in going on this work trip he would be able to financially provide for both her and their child, however she said she would much rather have his emotional support throughout the birth - prompting him to call her 'selfish' and accuse her of making him out to be a bad husband.

The couple got into a huge row and the husband stormed out, before later apologising for his comments, but saying he felt too much pressure from his wife when she knows his work circumstances.



I can see both sides of this

On one hand it's one of the most important days of their lives

On the other, they need to put food on the table and keep the lights on

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UnfairRepresent posted...

I can see both sides of this

aka 'ce take the bait and I'll argue against it then when you get bored of me trolling, I'll switch sides'

Pretty much
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he just needs to call one of her boyfriends to be with her

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Your boss is a serious asshole if they won't give you time off for the birth of a kid, let alone if they'd fire you over it.

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Good. He's not missing much anyway. Kids are born all the time and what do they do? Grow up into delinquents.

*waves cane angrily*

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is this an article on an AITA post

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It's definitely not right in this situation for the wife to force her husband to risk losing his job, I can tell you that right now so I voted for the first option. People forget back in the day it was normal for men to be absent for the birth of their children, especially for work related purposes. We've really softened up a lot since then.

Back_Stabbath posted...

is this an article on an AITA post

That's journalism nowadays. Someone shits out a reddit post, a writer for some bumfuck website slurps it up and shits it out, and then Unfair becomes the last member of the human centipede and delivers it to us.

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Can't wait until we get tales from CE picked up by journalists and regurgitated back into our hungry mouth holes.

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Riev posted...

It's definitely not right in this situation for the wife to force her husband to risk losing his job, I can tell you that right now so I voted for the first option. People forget back in the day it was normal for men to be absent for the birth of their children, especially for work related purposes. We've really softened up a lot since then.

This is dumb.

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Both are in the right. The boss is in the wrong.

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pegusus123456 posted...

That's journalism nowadays. Someone shits out a reddit post, a writer for some bumfuck website slurps it up and shits it out

I refuse to give those pages any clicks. It's my only form of protest.

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Husband and wife need to communicate better, but sounds like husband's work situation sucks. If he cares about being a part of his family he should start looking for another job.

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PMarth2002 posted...

Your boss is a serious asshole if they won't give you time off for the birth of a kid, let alone if they'd fire you over it.

You would be extremely surprised how common this is. Its ridiculous.

This is what happens when employers have way too much power.

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AzNDarkSamurai posted...

You would be extremely surprised how common this is. Its ridiculous.

This is what happens when employers have way too much power.

yeah you can see which users are sheltered

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Back in the day husbands werent even allowed to be there lol.

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The real issue here is why the husband missed several work trips knowing that his wife would give birth in a few months and that he should be there for it.

I don't think he wants to be there.

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AzNDarkSamurai posted...

You would be extremely surprised how common this is. Its ridiculous.

This is what happens when employers have way too much power.

I'm not surprised by it, but it doesn't make it any less true.

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I thought it was better in the uk?

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Damn, that's a tough situation. It sounds to me in the article (though I may be wrong) that the husband has yet to bring up the issue to his superiors and that he is just assuming that he might get canned if he doesn't make the trip. If that's the case, then he needs to have that discussion with his bosses first. Hopefully they're understanding.

But if it's true that he'd get fired if he doesn't make the trip, then he has to decide if losing his job (especially now that the mother is about to be put on maternity leave) to see his first born is worth it.

The real issue here is why the husband missed several work trips knowing that his wife would give birth in a few months and that he should be there for it.

He might have just missed those prior work trips in an effort to take care of his pregnant wife.

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Super Saiyan 3 Goku posted...

Damn, that's a tough situation. It sounds to me in the article (though I may be wrong) that the husband has yet to bring up the issue to his superiors and that he is just assuming that he might get canned if he doesn't make the trip. If that's the case, then he needs to have that discussion with his bosses first. Hopefully they're understanding.

But if it's true that he'd get fired if he doesn't make the trip, then he has to decide if losing his job (especially now that the mother is about to be put on maternity leave) to see his first born is worth it.

There used to be a Franky and Benny's near where I lived

One day there was a sign on the door saying they were closing down at the new year (This was like December 16th)

I knew someone who worked there and she told me that sign was the same way the staff found out, no notice

They weren't moved to another restaurant or given severance packages . Just blip , jobs over

Your bosses and corporations don't give a damn about you and will be happy to fire you and replace you with someone quieter if you make noise

Welcome to capitalism

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Don't blame the boss, the husband didn't even ask them yet; he just assumes that his boss will say no.

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Super Saiyan 3 Goku posted...

Damn, that's a tough situation. It sounds to me in the article (though I may be wrong) that the husband has yet to bring up the issue to his superiors and that he is just assuming that he might get canned if he doesn't make the trip. If that's the case, then he needs to have that discussion with his bosses first. Hopefully they're understanding.

But if it's true that he'd get fired if he doesn't make the trip, then he has to decide if losing his job (especially now that the mother is about to be put on maternity leave) to see his first born is worth it.

Well, 6 months prior, his wife was 3 months pregnant so maybe he missed those work trips because of something relating to the pregnancy or in an effort to take care of her?

Soemtimes just mentioning stuff like that can have negative repercussions. He probably wants to play it safe and is already in hot water if he doesn't even want to ask.

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An on the fence job, necessary job is more important that a momentary family milestone.

he's the asshole if he didn't even attempt to get the day off

I assume that this guy's job is a bit more white collar as he makes multiple work related trips per year at least, so looking for a new job in his case isn't as simply as walking up to your nearest Taco Bell. Jobs like his probably aren't easy to come by.

A real tough spot for this couple.

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Sorry girl. Other good sides of the male in question. Default.

Can I send you Amlie to assist you?

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Work is a means to an end, the birth of your child is a reason you're working. If your job is "too important" to give you a day to see the birth of your child then job ain't worth shit. The priorities in this country are all wrong, people totally brainwashed into thinking the job is king, serving your boss is more important than serving yourself and your family. Shit is whack.

Who cares

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Love bait topics with a little effort put into them.

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UnfairRepresent posted...

because he missed several work trips in the past six months,

sounds like a shitty employee AND husband

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YoungMan posted...

Who cares

People with empathy and basic human connection.

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NullAndVoidFC posted...

Work is a means to an end, the birth of your child is a reason you're working. If your job is "too important" to give you a day to see the birth of your child then job ain't worth shit. The priorities in this country are all wrong, people totally brainwashed into thinking the job is king, serving your boss is more important than serving yourself and your family. Shit is whack.

I guess if you ignore mortgage/rent payments, car payments, utility payments, the large amount of money dedicated to setting up the house for a child, medical bills, the wife's income being zero until she can return to work (if she is), etc.

If you lose all that because of taking one day off, or even a week, or even a month, then you're a slave to your job. Maternity pay should also be standard.

I mean I get where the wife is coming from but lady how do you expect to feed the baby without income

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NullAndVoidFC posted...

If you lose all that because of taking one day off, or even a week, or even a month, then you're a slave to your job. Maternity pay should also be standard.

This isn't losing some easily replaceable McDonald's job. This is losing a career that cannot simply be easily replaced if the information in the hypothetical(?) is as presented. There are many "should be's" in the world, but that won't always reflect reality.

This phenomenon of it being absolutely expected if at all possible for the husband/father to be present at the birth of his kid is absurdly recent societally.

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Blue_Target posted...

Both are in the right. The boss is in the wrong.

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I can see both sides to the story. The boss is in the wrong. And at that point, it's probably best to have her mother or another relative there for support, and to drive them home, since she will be feeling like shit afterwards. At least I presume? I didn't have a c section.

I don't doubt this is going to be a sore spot of contention between them, and that's understandable too.

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UnfairRepresent posted...

"He said he couldn't skip the trip even if he tried and claimed that because he missed several work trips in the past six months, he's worried he might lose his job if he declined to go."

Fair next. If he gets fired everyone loses.

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Picking work over your childs birth is such a short sighted view. Dude, didn't even try to get the day off. This marriage won't succeed in the slightest.

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Super Saiyan 3 Goku posted...

I assume that this guy's job is a bit more white collar as he makes multiple work related trips per year at least, so looking for a new job in his case isn't as simple as walking up to your nearest Taco Bell. Jobs like his probably aren't easy to come by.

A real tough spot for this couple.

Most white collar places also understand that a husband will take time off for the birth of his child. You usually let them know your wife is pregnant and is due around whenever. They then try to make sure you are around for the birth of your child.

Truthfully sounds like this guy didnt bring it up at work because he didnt care to be there for the birth. I think the marriage has other issues,
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Slaya4 posted...

Picking work over your childs birth is such a short sighted view. Dude, didn't even try to get the day off. This marriage won't succeed in the slightest.

It's the other way around imo. Love and sentimentality can't keep the lights on and I'd think raising a child in stability would outweigh the need for emotional gratification.

That said, he should at least give it a try before assuming what the result will be.


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I know a dude who got fired by Friendly's years ago for calling off when his son was being born.

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Every man is required be at his son's birth. He must inspect the creature for any defects so that if disapproval is found he may waste no more time, energy and resources providing for a substandard heir.

Only the most exquisite specimens should be allowed entry into the atrium of man.

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Id want to know why he missed several work trips before. Sounds like if he had attended them, he might have been able to skip this one. The question is, was it his or her decision to skip the other trips?

They can't fire a man for taking sick time, they can however make shit up after the fact and fire them later as long as they didn't say they were.

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Shablagoo posted...

This is dumb.

You're probably too young to remember those days

Cleo_II posted...

Id want to know why he missed several work trips before. Sounds like if he had attended them, he might have been able to skip this one. The question is, was it his or her decision to skip the other trips?

Iirc the AITA post this is based on (one in the past few days) stated the previous missed work days were for things like friend's wedding, brother's fishing trip, etc so *not* related to pregnancy/ upcoming delivery.