Current Events > Almost 32 never had a girl, never gonna get one

(+) Yeah! (+)

DuranOfForcena posted...

can you guys step outside your own experience for one fucking minute before you post shit like this? people assume that being single your whole life is the same as being single temporarily between relationships and it's not at all. you have no fucking idea the kind of toll it takes on you being alone your whole life into your 30s, what it does to your mentality, your outlook on life, your perception of yourself and your own self worth. there's not "nothing wrong with it" and it's not "honestly great" in the least bit. it's fucking soul crushing.

its all in the mind, what are you doing to promote mental health?

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Kanaya413 posted...

I wonder why people always suggest men to work out to meet women do people not like dad bods anymore

It helps boost confidence and overall makes you look more attractive when you look healthy.

It's a great way help get you started at least.

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31 here,

dated 1 girl for 2 months back when i was... 24? I think? Was a childhood friend of my sister, so I basically grew up with her because she was over all the time.

She broke it off after 2 months because "it's too weird to think of you romantically because you're like a big brother to me."

was just like... oh... ok.

turned out i dodged a bullet because she ended up being nuts and completely cut herself off from everyone she knew.

haven't dated since then, never kissed anyone (we were good christian kids so we never fooled around or made out or anything like that)

haven't bothered to look for another, trying to work through my own issues before I end up sharing/overburdening someone else with them.

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DuranOfForcena posted...

why the fuck do people think just because someone quotes part of a post that means they didn't read the rest of it? you talk about how you can "see the appeal" in being single, but there is no appeal in being single your whole life well into your 30s. it's not anywhere even close to being single temporarily having experienced relationships. read the fucking room. no one in here who is sharing what a soul crushing experience it has been for them to be single their whole lives wants to fucking hear about how you miss being single now that you are married. that adds literally nothing to the conversation.

Not meaning to insult your or anything, but you seem unnecessarily hostile in your posts. Your tone suggests that you've surrendered to the misery. However, it's not inescapable. You can still improve yourself and make more efforts to find a partner.

It is literally never too late to keep trying.

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I would have so much money if i never pursued women. Let me live vicariously and tell me how much you have saved up?

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Zodd3224 posted...

Most of us take for granted how naturally some of this stuff comes for us

As a member of UglyGang...seriously. Flirting and connecting came naturally even with a woeful lack of advice on that front

I dunno OP. All I can say is, work out and be more positive/receptive in your interactions and maybe take a few risks approaching some women if you're not around them in intimate settings.

The biggest thing that stops any regular man is lack of success in his own life, causing a severe lack of confidence. Get your mind right, get your body and money right, then start putting yourself out there. And understand that for a lot of men who aren't blessed with naturally good looks, rejection is always going to be there in spades. Just keep it pushing.

And definitely don't use this as a reason to become trans. I know that poster was trolling but goddamn is that a horrible reason to consider it.

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Key to finding a girl is to stop caring about not having had one yet.

You can do it.

Life is more than sex and tbh, sex is very overrated. Best part of the relationship is something you can even have with someone of the same sex even if you straight.

I wonder how many people who say "just work out", get your own place, etc. are actually good with women, or are in the same place and assuming these are the keys. Or they are just more normal then they realize. Plenty of schlubby guys with dead end careers are good with women. It really just comes down to being social enough and being willing to ask them out when you have a chance.I 'm decent looking, have a good career, my own house, am pretty "normal", but I don't really know how to socialize, and that's why I've not had many women in my life.

Working out is only a good idea if you go with the mindset that you're doing it for your general well-being and confidence. If that confidence eventually helps your social skills, that's good, but if you just get in shape and still can't socialize you're pretty limited. You have to be REALLY fit, which is years of effort, or have naturally good features, which is limited to luck with your genetics, or both, to have women coming up to you. And even then you still need to go to places that women are, so yeah.

DuranOfForcena posted...

why are you under the impression that anyone in here is talking about just sex?

Sex is what is different about having a girlfriend and a best friend.

And if it is not about sex, then it is about ego.
The ego of others seeing you doing what they deem normal or difficult so you can be like "what up losers, my girlfriend is hot. Jealous?"

DuranOfForcena posted...

says someone who has no idea what it's like to have never had a relationship in their life well into their 30s

oh yeah, just stop caring about it

that's about as useful as telling poor people to stop being poor

@DuranOfForcena
Actually my advice comes from this experience.
There is more nuance to my case, I have had a disease and other things that hit at the time I should really been dating, but there was a time I was bitter about not have had a girlfriend. That was the biggest barrier. Yea, it is hard to overcome to be truthful, but knowing it is an issue is half the battle. G.i.joe

Working out gives you confidence in general and improves your mindset as well as making you more attractive even without necessarily being ripped (women love a strong man even if he's on the big side)

It's just a fundamental of this shit and will always bear worth mentioning.

@CoorsLight

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DuranOfForcena posted...

why the fuck do people think just because someone quotes part of a post that means they didn't read the rest of it? you talk about how you can "see the appeal" in being single, but there is no appeal in being single your whole life well into your 30s. it's not anywhere even close to being single temporarily having experienced relationships. read the fucking room. no one in here who is sharing what a soul crushing experience it has been for them to be single their whole lives wants to fucking hear about how you miss being single now that you are married. that adds literally nothing to the conversation.

Jfc dude your life is never going to change lol

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Yea working out advice is not about muscles as much as it is your opinion about yourself.
You work to improve your body makes you happier when you see the results. You feel better because you are fitter (more energy). You have something to talk about with other guys and some women (fitness is a coversation) and tbh, alot of times the gym has cute ladies. So, in a sense going to the gym is exposure practice as cute ladies are in a way watching you workout.

I remember discussing some pushups with this girl I had a crush on. She was too thin to do them herself but she was hooked to the convo.
It was about those where you push off the floor and for a moment your arms not touching the ground. Don't even remember why it was brought up.

Just focus your efforts elsewhere man. Youll grab someone

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_Angel_ posted...

Working out gives you confidence in general and improves your mindset as well as making you more attractive even without necessarily being ripped (women love a strong man even if he's on the big side)

It's just a fundamental of this shit and will always bear worth mentioning.

@CoorsLight

Yeah I don't generally disagree here, like I said, just do it for your general well being. I'm just skeptical when I see that kind of advice on a place like CE. I think lots of people could take it in the wrong way, like incel "it's hopeless, girls will only bang you if you're a 9 or 10" logic

I'd say the same but we both know that ain't happening any time soon

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DuranOfForcena posted...

this is just straight bullshit

there are many more aspects of what is different between having a girlfriend and having a best friend than just sex, or "ego"

How do you know, you haven't had a gf right?
The aspects are:
1. Can flirt
2. Shared secret about when we are intimate
3. Go places some dudes would call you gay for asking them to come
4. Meet each other family
5. Give gifts

In the end, these are all more aspects of sex though. You meet the family because one day when you impregnate them, that kid will be their blood for example.

Spiderman23JII posted...

buy some ass

LOL yoooo this is wild

with Covid going around this is wild

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eston posted...

I'd say the same but we both know that ain't happening any time soon

why troll over this, like what did he do to upset you

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DuranOfForcena posted...

you're really reminded me right now of why i've had you tagged as "dipshit" forever now

My poor feelings

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DuranOfForcena posted...

what the fuck is this post? this is fucking utter nonsense

Then why not explain youself. What other than sex or ego do you need a girlfriend so badly for to be happy in life?

smh knew it

why are you guys sandbagging this dude and pretending a romantic relationship is just a normal bestie but without sex?

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I've had to beat the ravenous women away with a stick since I started working out

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Joeydollaz posted...

LOL yoooo this is wild

with Covid going around this is wild

Wear a condom, it prevents covid

Put one on everyday with my mask


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viewmaster_pi posted...

why are you guys sandbagging this dude and pretending a romantic relationship is just a normal bestie but without sex?

The point is you can be happy and single. Alot of what you get in a relationship can be acquired without one, not the sexual parts though.
Infact, love can be something besties share.

Further, alot of what people believe a relationship will solve, is often NOT solved by one.
Ex: loneliness
Someone who GETS me.

Many search for that in a relationship and don't find it in any.
This why advice is given about loving yourself first and all that blah blah. I won't necessarily tell them this is the issue, it is more attributing too much to a relationship than they understand about it.

Zodd3224 posted...

I've had to beat the ravenous women away with a stick since I started working out

This man wouldn't lie

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DuranOfForcena posted...

cuz they are pathetic and have nothing better to do with their life than shit on people on message boards who are already having a bad fucking day

If you really had issue with what I said, I calmly asked you to explain what you are looking for that is not sex or ego.
I am not wanting to mock or make on fun, you want help right?
But if you refuse to share your perspective and start having angry posts, then ofc you won't find any help.

Duran, your doing good. Lifting weight and getting into shape is a huge boost in your confidence. But keep at it, cause getting into good shape takes years in the gym. Around 5 years to get into good shape. Once you've shown that you can work hard at something and achieve your goal, girls will naturally come to you.

Your on your way dude.


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DuranOfForcena posted...

i'm lifting weights and slimming down, getting into better shape. i'm actually in the best shape of my life right now, but i still have a ways to go. i'm listening to YouTube videos in the so-called "manosphere" about self improvement, style and fitness, the psychology of attraction and dating, relationship advice, etc. i'm trying to find ways i can make some sort of income so i can be financially and socially independent again, been looking at starting a food blog and also doing paid beta reading.

but there are still several roadblocks. i have chronic lower back pain almost every day which limits my mobility, endurance, and sociability, although i have made significant strides in that in the last year with physical therapy. i live at home with my parents, i have no working vehicle, i have no friends or social circle to speak of anymore. and also there's the pandemic. and i have no support or help whatsoever from my parents in any of the ways i'm trying to better myself or start making an income again, because they are too busy all day either trying and failing to make a living with my dad's handyman business, or arguing with each other and being at each others' throats over any and every stupid petty bullshit. i can't even get them to tell the property manager that the overhead light fixture in the kitchen had been broken for months and needs repaired cuz i'm gonna need the lighting to take pictures for my food blog, because my dad is a racist sexist misogynist shitbag from Texas, and he thinks the property manager is a lesbian so he doesn't like her, and the landlord is Indian so he definitely doesn't like him. every time i bring up the issue he just gives me fucking lip service about how oh yeah he called the electrician but couldn't get ahold of him, left a message. like i'm a fucking idiot. he didn't call anybody. and it's not on him to do so, that's on the property manager. and if i bring that up, he just gets all indignant and has nothing to say about it, because he doesn't have to explain shit to anyone, what he says goes. it's impossible to have a conversation about anything serious with him, because all that happens is you get lip service. meanwhile my mom won't do anything because she's too busy making herself out to be the biggest victim and the only victim of my dad's bullshit and what she has to put up with when she doesn't understand at all what it's like for me to be caught in the middle of all their fucking bullshit all the time. it's so fucking frustrating, and i have no way to escape it.

Here's how to improve the situation: Get a full time, or part time job. You can't depend on a food blog for income. Secondly, get into crypto trading. Third, once you have like $3000, get a vehicle. It will make your life enormously more efficient. Fourth, save up until you have enough money to rent a room away from your parents.

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DuranOfForcena posted...

i don't want help from you because you obviously have no fucking idea what you are talking about, or what people in this topic are talking about for that matter

So first it was "you cannot help me because you don't know what it is like!"
Now it is something else.
Smh.

See, I have been there where I had thought, "what will I say when she asks about who i dated before!" Or "what will she think about me not having gf before" etc.
Yes, it is ego.
Tc post is pure ego:

"I never had a girl before!"
Translation: "I feel lacking"
"I feel abnormal"
"I feel inadequate"
"I feel frustrated"

Not that these feelings are wrong to feel, but they are a barrier to getting what you want.

Did this dude just learn the word ego or something

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As some one a couple of years older in the same boat, all I can say is, don't worry, once you accept it, you don't really feel down about it as much as you'd expect

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The other issue is, any advice that says do x and and you will have y, is hurtful when you do x and don't get y.

There is no true trick to getting this, but there are many barriers than must be recognized and removed. In truth, being a happier self is the real goal as in general it does help you get a girl BUT even if it does not, you are now a happier person.
That is why I offer the advice of analyzing what is it your really want a gf for so badly. There is alot of mindset as to what that will bring that become toxic and weighs down on someone.
And what if they finally get one and get dumped? It is no magic cure. The problem isn't the lack of relationship.

CoorsLight posted...

I wonder how many people who say "just work out", get your own place, etc. are actually good with women, or are in the same place and assuming these are the keys.

Because no woman wants a guy who is in shape, with his own place, right? Im a homeowner and go to the gym, and I live with my GF. It should be common sense that women would prefer that over a guy who lives with his parents and is 100 lbs overweight.

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DarthAragorn posted...

Did this dude just learn the word ego or something

I must admit it is probably painful to admit that a large reason one moans about never having a girlfriend is validation, but it is necessary to realize that and overcome it. I use moan as a decription, not to mock, as I had done this in younger years.

Pepys Monster posted...

Because no woman wants a guy who is in shape, with his own place, right? Im a homeowner and go to the gym, and I live with my GF. It should be common sense that women would prefer that over a guy who lives with his parents and is 100 lbs overweight.

Way to ignore the rest of my post. I never said don't do those things, I said they're not a magic bullet, and the main reason most people are alone is (lack of) social skills.

CoorsLight posted...

Way to ignore the rest of my post. I never said don't do those things, I said they're not a magic bullet, and the main reason most people are alone is (lack of) social skills.

Fair enough. A guy with great social skills who lives with his parents would still scare a lot of women away, though.

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