Board 8 > Snake Ranks Anything Horror Related Vol. 6 *THE RANKINGS* (Extra Spooky Edition)

(+) Yeah! (+)

124. Mickey's House of Villains (Cartoon) (11 points)
Nominated by: GavsEvans123 (4/5 remaining)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hCOof8uk2Q

Importance: 3
Fear: 1
Snake: 7

Based on the hit animated series House of Mouse, which sees Disney icon Mickey Mouse owning and operating a dinner & movie theater and showing classic cartoons to real Disney characters from the entire canon, Mickey's House of Villains is this concept but blown up to feature length scale. The series did gangbusters for introducing an entire new generation to vintage Disney cartoons and massively boosting the popularity of even the most obscure characters in the Disney line-up. House of Villains features some of the most notable and popular villains Disney had to offer at the time: Jafar, Captain Hook, Ursula, Cruella de Vil, and even Chernabog joined the fray, as they plot to take over the House of Mouse and turn it into, you guessed it, the House of Villains. I like how it's a bit of an anthology set-up, with the over-arching plot and the cartoons being the vignettes. The cartoons, by the way, are easily the best part of this. The stuff with the villains is the dollar store tape holding the whole thing together to be honest. Trick or Treat, from 1952, is the best on here and an absolute delight. From Huey, Dewey, and Louie's adorable Halloween costumes to Hazel the Witch's endlessly creative spells, the whole short screams HALLOWEEN, with gorgeously fluid animation, aesthetically-pleasing color palette, and gut-busting slapstick humor. Lonesome Ghosts is another great one, every character oozes personality with subtle animation tics, and the cast of ghoulish ghosts are tricksters and pranksters and watching the hilarity they pull off just puts a smile on my face. I will say some of the newer shorts aren't as high for me as the classic ones, such as the visually abstract Mickey's Mechanical House, but they're still fun to watch and creative in their set-pieces. As an excuse to show some Disney cartoons and do a fan-service character mash-up, you can do worse, I'll tell you. But if you were thinking of showing this on Halloween or something, I'd maybe just pick out the best shorts and show them instead.

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123. Ethan Winters (Resident Evil 7, 8) (11 points)
Nominated by: Axl_Rose_85 (4/5 remaining)


importance: 3
Fear: 3
Snake: 5

Poor Ethan...

Ethan, Ethan, Ethan. What a weird character he is. The Resident Evil series is known for its bombastic leads: Chris Redfield, the boulder-punching asshole; Leon Kennedy, the rookie turned super agent with his cheesy movie quality one-lines; Jill "I'll give you S.T.A.R.S." Valentine. But Ethan is just... Ethan. It works for the games, don't get me wrong, but there's certain thematic elements of the Resident Evil series that make it the franchise it is. You need a certain level of flair to make it in the series and Ethan just doesn't cut it for me. "I'm sick of bugs" just isn't on the same level as "you're right hand comes off?". One of the true underrated joys of the series is seeing these ultra-prepped and super badass main characters go up against insurmountable odds: it almost makes it scarier when even those prepped for every situation struggle to rise to the occasion. It's why Jill and her desperate escape from Nemesis feels thematically satisfying on many levels, because you're a powerful character, yes, but here comes this Tyrant who is even more powerful, and it's up to you to put a stop to him despite all the odds. Mr. White Collar Shirt Ethan Winters never feels like he rises to the occasion in the same way. He remains the same old bumbling idiot through both RE7 AND RE8 mind you, and while his determination is admirable, Ethan's lack of a identifiable personality or even a face makes each victory feel hollow. In both games, the cast of villains EASILY tower over Ethan and you almost feel like you have no control as the villains guide every action you do. If there's one thing, I'm glad that apparently Village is the end of Ethan's story. He DID at least get to go out a hero, so that's one thing. It's weird, because Resident Evil has a whole slew of memorable characters in every game, even characters with one-off appearances. The fact that Ethan DOESN'T stand out doesn't make him more interesting, it just makes him more liable to be forgotten in the future games down the line.

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hell yeah disney house of villains

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Snake5555555555 posted...

And it's just a bangin' song too.

Seems like a successful nomination to me!

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122. The Brood (WWF) (11.5 points)
Nominated by: FFDragon (4/5 remaining)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALFMYWFRjQs

Importance: 5
Fear: 2.5
Snake: 4

Wrestling is inherently a sport about being as loud and brash as possible, pissing off as many people as you can, and having just a bunch of goofy fun as you're doing it. The Brood certainly ticks off all three of these boxes. The WWF/WWE has a storied history of horror gimmicks: The Undertaker probably is the chief example, with The Fiend taking the helm for modern day events, but wrestlers like Doink the Clown and Mick Foley's Mankind also fill in particular niches in the canon for specific wrestling fans all over. The Brood is a clan of vampires and includes the members Gangrel, Christian, and Edge. They would arrive on stage and drink "blood" before spitting it out on to the crowd. They also had another gimmick called a "blood bath" where they would drench their opponent in blood after a sequence of flashing red lights. Looking back on it now, it's easy to call this cheesy and outdated, but I didn't grow up watching this stuff, I'm just a casual spectator decades after the fact. I don't think it holds up as well as other horror themed wrestlers, especially in terms of looks and fashion. The Brood often associated themselves with the Ministry, a stable of horror & satanic-themed wrestlers, which included the Undertaker, and The Brood were seen as lackeys by the group, with Christian even getting flogged at one point, but eventually the Brood proved their alliance with each other over the Ministry and defected from the group. The Brood was an essential stepping stone for boosting the popularity and awareness of Christian and Edge, who, I, as a non-wrestling fan even know, so despite any perceived lameness on my part it's clear to see The Brood were at least somewhat of a big deal. They may not have been scary per se, but for adding a little tinge of Gothic flair to the ring, there definitely could've been worse.

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The Brood were not scary and even as someone who was the right age at the time they still came off as really cheesy. But they were good at wrestling and fun to watch which is why they went on to better things I think!

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The Brood's entrance and entrance music was one of the best of the attitude era!

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If there's another villain song contest, I'll have to nominate It's Our House Now. I find that little pose Jafar does at the start of the song amusing, so here he is as a Stand User!

121. Yuuzhan Vong (Star Wars Legends) (11.5 points)
Nominated by: rwlh (4/5 remaining)


Importance: 2.5
Fear: 4
Snake: 5

There's a bit to say about the safeness and staleness of Star Wars movies. For all the subverting people claim they do, it's only the canon of Legends that seems to get anywhere with it. Take the Yuuzhan Vong for example, a totally alien species completely immune to the force. Much like the Reapers from Mass Effect, they exist outside of the known Star Wars galaxy, and caused great destruction and death to the New Republic numbering in the trillions. While Star Wars can be known for having minor horror influences such as the Rankor pit or Luke's psychological encounter with Darth Vader, the Yuuzhan Vong really wears the inspiration on their sleeves. Part-Hellraiser, taking pleasure from pain and vast arrays of body modification, and Part-Lovecraft due to their unknown and mysterious origins, they represent a unique threat to the people of the galaxy beyond the typical Sith and stormtroopers most heroes go up against. The mold here is still very much Star Wars, and they find workarounds to use the force against them, but the Vong are a genuine threat and cause much chaos during their entire invasion before mellowing out a bit afterwards. It's some nice experimentation for Star Wars, and though no longer canon, there have been attempts to at least make allusions to them, such as the Grysk in Thrawn: Alliances. They are for sure an interesting species, if a little derivative for my tastes, one adds another wrinkle to the tapestry that is Star Wars.

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Dang! I was hoping they'd place higher. Ah well.

One thing that always struck me as horrifying about the Yuuzhan Vong (maybe the most horrifying thing) is they're religious fanatics whose religion revolves around pain, inflicting it on themselves and on others. In one book, a peaceful ambassador of the New Republic goes as an emissary to the Vong, and in order to better understand their culture, he's subjected to the Embrace of Pain, a horrible torture device, then he's skinned alive and his skeleton is sent back to the New Republic. I'm pretty sure the Vong thought this was, like, an offer of cultural exchange or something.

Also I just realized I forgot to nominate my favorite scary VGM two years in a row. Oops.

rwlh posted...

In one book, a peaceful ambassador of the New Republic goes as an emissary to the Vong, and in order to better understand their culture, he's subjected to the Embrace of Pain, a horrible torture device, then he's skinned alive and his skeleton is sent back to the New Republic. I'm pretty sure the Vong thought this was, like, an offer of cultural exchange or something.

I actually missed that in my research, that's pretty brutal!

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There's a lot with the Vong, like over ten novels worth. I wasn't sure how much to give you (so I gave you literally nothing lol). The Embrace of Pain is one of the most horror-centric things they do.

Oh I also forgot that the skeleton is like encrusted with jewels or something ridiculous, like the Vong wanted to honor the emissary as a hero. It's messed up.

120. The Nun (2018 film) (11.5 points)
Nominated by: wallmasterz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzD9zGcUNrw

Importance: 5
Fear: 4.5
Snake: 2

The Conjuring series of films continues to be a massive success for Warner Bros. and New Line Cinema, despite absolutely awful films like this 2018 dud, The Nun. Capitalizing on Valak's insane popularity after The Conjuring 2, The Nun attempts to "conjure" up a backstory for her, thus destroying any mystique or horror in the process. I know the Conjuring tries to be the MCU of horror films and makes them as accessible as possible, but they have such a unique opportunity here to create interesting horror films and just pump out the worst of absolutely generic junk like this. I guess as long as these films keep making over $300 million at the box office, why not? The Nun is the same demoniacal exorcism film you've seen a million times since The Exorcist: the Vatican, the Father, possession, Catholic imagery, jump scares galore. To give the film some credit, someone decidedly not used to this stuff would get scared pretty easily, I think, or at least jump a lot. While the jumps are not on the same level as previous Conjuring films were already doing and setting up, The Nun has a decent Gothic atmosphere that will certainly leave some viewers on the edge of their seats. It doesn't work for a seasoned horror vet like me though, and I think the story is so convoluted and boring that, when taking the horror out of the equation, I still don't think this is a very interesting film. The characters are all generic and there's a lot of malingering around with not a lot going on. It only serves to provide context to future Conjuring films, which is sorely unneeded as mentioned previously. I know I'm at least somewhat in the minority. The Nun is the highest-grossing film in the franchise, and spawned off several Nun knock-off films which I haven't seen but are probably even worse than this. The series has the potential to be greater than this drivel, I just hope the series' creators learn the right lessons from it in the end.

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Like most James Wan movies, visually scary but not much substance

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Yeah I was really interested in seeing The Nun just based on some fun imagery in the trailer, but I was really bored. I quit around 45 minutes in and never got back to it. Maybe it gets better by the end though.

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Yeah, as much as I love Malignant and the Conjuring films it's still pretty true for them too.

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The Conjuring franchise in general is such a disappointment. Even the first Conjuring (considered the best of the franchise) didn't really stick with me, and then I didn't bother seeing most of the others after seeing that they were all apparently just junk

It's such a shame too because such cool things could be done with that open world of horrors

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You know, at first, The Conjuring didn't really stick with me when I first watched it either. Felt like a bland haunted house movie and wasn't remotely scary. But I gave it another chance years later and for some reason it really resonated with me a lot more. I think I understood what it was trying to be better, this sort of spectacle film that other genres typically get the treatment for over horror. Though I think Conjuring 2 is even better, a true blockbuster horror in every sense. The latter two Annabelle films also might be worth a watch, i actually think they're pretty unique for doll horror films, more so Annabelle Creation, and it's a rare case where explaining the scary thing's origins makes it better, at least in my view (NOT the first though, that is another terrible one).

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I might have to revisit the Conjuring sometime then. It came out around the same time as Sinister and Insidious where it felt like those decent but limited-impact horror movies were coming out like crazy and The Conjuring was the least memorable of the bunch for me at the time

That said I don't think I'll ever choose to see the Annabelle movies. I'm down for just about every type of horror but I usually draw the line at living doll shit. Can't do it.

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Totally understandable, living dolls seriously freak me the hell out too!

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I blame watching this particular episode of The Nightmare Room as a kid

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0661058/

didn't realize until now that was Shia Labeouf????

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Oh yeah, that would do it all right. Haven't seen the episode but just seeing the pic of the dolls, I know.

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I do appreciate the Conjuring universe movies since I watched a lot of them with friends at the cinema and they were great fun that way. I think my favorites are The Conjuring and Annabelle Creation. The movies can get really atmospheric and freaky at times and I like that. Haven't watched The Nun though.

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I will say the original Conjuring was a great thrill ride-type experience in the theater

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I think what really makes the first Conjuring stand out to me is the excellent camera work. I can think of several scenes all using different techniques depending on what type of horror is on display and I freaking love it.

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119. Friday the 13th (NES game) (12 points)
Nominated by: RaidenGarai (4/5 remaining)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSnlzrZC9yI

Importance: 4
Fear: 3
Snake: 5

During the NES era of video games, horror was something rarely tackled but always intriguing to see done. There was a time when the NES still appeared to be a kids' toy to most adults around the country, and thus, most violent and gruesome horror was heavily censored by developers by the time it reached the hands of kids in living rooms across the nation, if it ever did at all. Still, survival horror, then an unnamed genre, was in its infancy and being explored by many developers through small & subtle ways, whether through the Gothic horror imagery of Castlevania, the exploratory RPG Sweet Home, or this action-open world game, Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th, as a franchise, was just as big as any MCU property now, the most successful horror franchise of all time until the recent Halloween films, so a video game adaptation made perfect sense (this game wasn't the first however, a 1986 Friday the 13th game for Commodore 64 & others was previously released). Horror franchises had a few dabbles in the video game medium up to this point: Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Evil Dead, but they were often simplistic, cheaply designed or for a niche audience. Friday the 13th is the first game in my opinion to take what the films did and translate it at least somewhat accurately for a wide audience. The game opens with the horror shot of Jason's mask getting stabbed in the eye with a knife as the screen flashes bloody red, clearly prepping you for... a brightly-colored and peppy sidescroller where you throw rocks at zombies that sail right over their heads. It's a jarring contrast, but not one entirely unearned. It invokes one of the key thrills of the Friday the 13th franchise that made it such an iconic franchise in the first place: an idyllic bright summer of carefree fun turned violent and bloody in the course of one night. Your disposable cast of camp councilors fits perfectly with the film's equally kill-ready cast, however with considerably more survivability and methods to fight back. Jason is as relevant and present a threat as any future horror stalker character: Scissorman, Nemesis, Pyramid Head. The way you engage with him is arcade-like with either action side-scroll encounters or weird Punch-Out style sessions, but the game emphasizes his threat by saying you only beat him "...for now" or that he has come back stronger, calling back to the films in a way that makes sense to the rules of the game as well. The clunky movement and ineffective combat would predate the complaints people would have about tank controls years later, and finding items and notes is quite similar in structure to what Resident Evil and Alone in the Dark would continue to evolve. However, I only enjoy this game as an idea and stepping stone - the game really is obtuse and tedious to play as the AVGN (whose review is probably the most well known thing about this game now) would have you believe. That's okay though, because I still think, for the time, Friday the 13th did its best with a franchise against all odds, from design limitations to outside censorship, and a key piece of horror game history that should get more respect than it does.

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Great writeup! I can't really argue with anything you said even though I'm one of the few that absolutely loves the game. It's a really good speedrun too if you have patience for lots of resets, assuming there are any speedrunners here!

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Thanks!

I can definitely see this being a great speedrun game. I can speedrun a few Resident Evil games super casually, but I do enjoy watching them, mostly from Bawkbasoup, an RE & other mainly horror game speedrunner.

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Fastest crimson head is my favorite sexual archetype on the marketplace

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Oh man. I inherited an NES from my uncle when I was young even though it was SNES era already. I played the hell out of that game, and I hated it. I never beat it, even when I tried again when I was older. It was like an objectively terrible not fun game, but for some reason I sunk way more time into it than I should've. Nice write up!

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It's a really complicated game when you dig into it and learn the underlying mechanics. There's so much going on within it that people who have tried to figure things out by looking at the game code haven't been able to crack things, like what causes the RNG seed that makes the counselors start in specific cabins, or what determines the patterns Jason uses in combat. I spent so much time trying to get the little stuff down before attempting Low% (no items, can only use rocks).

I could talk about that game for hours, if it wasn't obvious already!

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That stuff fascinates me to a good degree, not that I'd even want to attempt to actually pull it off, but still!

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It's crazy. I was watching someone speedrun the original Metroid this morning, and he was explaining things as he went along. There's a specific enemy that you can freeze, and if you do that it gives you an easier enemy pattern in a room in another section of the game. The people that take the time to figure the stuff like that out are amazing.

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118. Motionless in White - Undead Ahead 2: The Tale of the Midnight Ride (song) (12 points)
Nominated by: Bane_Of_Despair (4/5 remaining)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYG2kaZ5OfQ

Importance: 2
Fear: 3
Snake: 7

This song is about the headless horseman: accompanied by strings, heavy riffing, fast drumming, and alternating screamed and clean vocals, it's a pretty straight-forward metalcore type song but one that paints a decently grim picture of the gruesomely bloody scene being displayed with cool-sounding lines like "crimson coagulates". It's very reminiscent of something Ice Nine Kills would do, although it could just be that I've listened to them non-stop since the beginning of October and have them on my mind. This template is a double-edged blade dug deep into the heart of the song; I mean I love it, you can easily headbang to it, the musical drops are insanely tight, but I feel it plays it ultimately too safe and also the song lacks a truly scary edge that INK brings to their tracks, where Spencer's vocal performance gives off an unhinged maniacal sense of fear and insanity. Put it this way: Spencer embodies the killers he's singing about against a brutal soundtrack that's at once a macabre dance of carnage and a tragic understanding of the victims' final end, while Chris is merely singing ABOUT the Headless Horseman and his actions, not really seeing the viewpoint through the eyes of the character. I am being a little harsh on the song, I genuinely do enjoy it and I've played it over and over since its initial nomination, but hey, the musical field is tough this year, so sacrifices must be made. If anything, it's still pretty great for a Halloween playlist!

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Ah yea I figured it would hit the same itch as INK, there are some aspects that I prefer MiW on but that's a fair point about the viewpoint. I partly nominated both this and their album Creatures for it being a sequel to one of their other songs on the album which I thought was neat. Glad to hear the musical field is strong!

Also I went for their more metalcore work but if you want some more industrial-ish influences their other albums went more in that direction, all would have been nominations that could fit decently here

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Oh yeah that was definitely neat, I was glad you did that!

And I will definitely check out more MiW since I liked what I heard. I've heard some of their songs before but never got too into them so now is a good chance to reintroduce myself.


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117. This lamp I just bought at the market (12 points)
Nominated by: Johnbobb (4/5 remaining)
http://imgur.com/a/H68b54P

Importance: 1
Fear: 4
Snake: 7

I'm pretty sure you just bought yourself a one way ticket into the Conjuring series film. I'm actually surprised you bought this due to its similarity to evil dolls. I definitely get some cursed vibes from it but at the same time I enjoy its marbely aesthetic and how the bulb and shade emerge from its head, and the black shade and glow of the light makes this thing absolutely come alive. Like... who made this thing and why? This isn't like some mass produced thing, I don't think, this is something some serial killer made in their basement before they watched and reviewed Star Wars Episode I, and then sold to you at the flea market for 10 bucks. I kind of dig it though, I'm definitely the type of weirdo who would buy this and display prominently while I play Silent Hill OSTs on repeat in the background and sip black coffee next to it. But I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if suddenly the light started flashing on and off and it turned its head to look at me as a jump scare stinger played.

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116. Blood Suckers (Cartoon) (12 points)
Nominated by: GavsEvans123 (3/5 remaining)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaItGk3n6-A

Importance: 2
Fear: 4
Snake: 6

The opening animation reminds me of the old Miniclip game Black Knight. It's a decently funny animated short inspired by the old slapstick in Looney Tunes cartoons, with direct references such as characters constantly holding up a sign just like Wile E. Coyote in place of dialogue. It's amusing seeing the normally strong, dashing Simon Belmont running around screaming his head off, and Kirby, the main antagonist of the short, has some downright creepy facial work where he is completely dead eyed and slack-jawed. It's also pretty scary when Simon is being sucked in by the vampiric Kirby (from sucking up Dracula) and he sees flashes of perhaps the future where Kirby dominates as the evil ruler of the world. I enjoy how the short somehow draws a line between Dracula's love of blood to the cheerful Kirby sucking up creatures to giant their power, emphasizing how ubiquitous the horror genre is. The short quickly goes apocalyptic with Kirby getting a human body and absolutely demonic grin, as he ends enveloping the whole Earth in one foul swallow. It's a well-done short, the animation is well-framed and stylized when it needs to be, with a good sense of comedic timing to it all. It's not like laugh out loud funny for me, and the kind of random, kooky off-the-rails progression of the short has never really been totally my thing, but it's still 100% enjoyable.

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Snake5555555555 posted...

I'm pretty sure you just bought yourself a one way ticket into the Conjuring series film. I'm actually surprised you bought this due to its similarity to evil dolls. I definitely get some cursed vibes from it but at the same time I enjoy its marbely aesthetic and how the bulb and shade emerge from its head, and the black shade and glow of the light makes this thing absolutely come alive.

Evil dolls are terrible but in my experience it's the normal-looking ones that are the worst, in victorian dresses with glass eyes and shit like that. Ugh.

One of my favorite hobbies is finding obscure, probably-cursed things at thrift shops. When I saw this lamp, I couldn't resist. My roommate hates it.

Two of my other recent thrift store finds:
https://i.imgur.com/cq0wzDr.jpeg
https://i.imgur.com/7G9Vpc0.jpeg


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Even if it's a little too off the wall for me to enjoy, that's exactly the kind of thing I love to see coming from Smash Bros. Nintendo doesn't do enough fun stuff with the idea of having all their biggest universes together in one game, especially since only Brawl has a full story mode.

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Johnbobb posted...

Evil dolls are terrible but in my experience it's the normal-looking ones that are the worst, in victorian dresses with glass eyes and shit like that. Ugh.

One of my favorite hobbies is finding obscure, probably-cursed things at thrift shops. When I saw this lamp, I couldn't resist. My roommate hates it.

Two of my other recent thrift store finds:
https://i.imgur.com/cq0wzDr.jpeg
https://i.imgur.com/7G9Vpc0.jpeg

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Johnbobb posted...

Evil dolls are terrible but in my experience it's the normal-looking ones that are the worst, in victorian dresses with glass eyes and shit like that. Ugh.

I know what you mean, my grandma has a room full of these things and it's so freaky, their eyes roll in the back of their heads or are missing and makes them so demonic looking.

I quite like that first bowl ashtray (?) type thing, that definitely has some satanic ritual potential.


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115. MadTV - Snuggle the Fabric Softener Bear (12 points)
Nominated by: Jesse_Custer (4/5 remaining)
https://youtu.be/doafN9KFrJg

Importance: 1
Fear: 4
Snake: 7

It's funny, when I was trying to look up information about this skit, most of the results read like Creepypasta entries, starting off simple like "remember those Snuggle bear commercials with the creepy puppet bear?" eventually ending up with "there was one commercial where the Snuggle bear was an actual murderer!" I just thought that was a funny thing to mention, it made me feel like I was in another world for a brief moment there. But no, this is just a skit, not a real commercial, and it's a pretty good one at that. I like how it DOES play on that fear of commercial mascots freaking you out when they're meant to be cutesy & fun. It's not the most original idea in the world, but when it's executed well, it's always a pleasure to see. The skit stars Stephnie Weir, a prominent cast member and writer of MadTV, and she's a terrific improv actress who has drifted in out of varied comedy series throughout the series since her tenure with MadTV. Her initial reaction upon seeing the Snuggle Bear is priceless; she doesn't just launch into her best scream queen impression, Weir really builds it up first with shock and stammering awe to give the time to digest the Snuggle Bear's innocent intentions. So, even if you know this is a horror short before hand, it's still funny because of how the whole situation is executed. Then, to reverse your expectations again, Weir goes in the opposite direction, and immediately starts wailing on the bear with a tennis racket kicking off the violence and serving as the cathartic release for everyone sick of that stupid bear commercial. The action gets wild, Snuggle gets burnt and crushed and disfigured, it's pretty brutal stuff for a skit, and Snuggle Bear has some Chucky-inspired zingers ("Bitch!" and Chucky go together like Jason and a hockey mask) trading off with Weir's absolutely manic suburban housewife subversion, and the results are slightly scary but mostly pretty funny. There's a great moment of brilliance where the camera pans right, showing Snuggle (who had gone missing) rise from the laundry basket behind Weir, before getting absolutely shocked and friend to death, with only the aftermath of a bloody basket remaining. There's a solid amount of horror send-ups in this short, I love the performances, and the concept is solid if maybe outdated. Give it a watch, it's worth your time!

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One more little piece of trivia: there's also a Freddy vs. Jason vs. Snuggle parody in this same episode.

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Snake5555555555 posted...

One more little piece of trivia: there's also a Freddy vs. Jason vs. Snuggle parody in this same episode.

I would pay good money to watch this if it was a real movie.

That lamp is creepy but man if it isn't well-made. And the marble is super pretty too.


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114. American Horror Story: Cult (12 points)
Nominated by: Johnbobb (3/5 remaining)


Importance: 4
Fear: 4
Snake: 4

American Horror Story: one of the most consistently hit-or-miss TV shows to ever come release. Roanoke, the sixth season, was one of their best. The follow-up: Cult, not the worst, but it's close. Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk are generally fantastic idea-makers and occasionally execute great horror and great comedy, but as is the case here, sometimes an idea doesn't translate as well to the screen as it does in concept. The strokes this season paints here are too scattershot to be compelling or scary. Horror SHOULD be political and timely but it should also try to have a message that remains relevant into the next generation of viewers. Cult is an instantly dated season, too focused and attached to a specific period in time, drawing weird parallels between pop sensational news like the "evil clown" craze to the season's central conceit: the election of Donald J. Trump. But it's also about phobias, and familicide, and being a mole for the FBI, and dark suburbia. Like, it cannot be understated enough, this season has very little direction and it loses its own message in its own plot several times due to AHS' tendency to be the horror show that has "everything". Evan Peters' Kai Anderson is one of the worst characters in the entire show, and though I generally like Peters as an actor, I think he rather phoned it in here which I think is entirely due to the crap material. What the writers did with his character was perhaps well-intentioned but misguided, obviously casting Kai as a Trump-like figure running for city council, dyeing his hair orange (that was super cringe) even, and then I think even the writers' own message got muddled as he starts acting more like Charles Manson instead. I mean, I get it: Trump, Manson, cult-like behavior, the show attempts to draw a through-line through all of these people and ideas and yeah, there's something there for sure, but man I just don't think American Horror Story is the type of show to tackle this subject with the delicacy and intellectualism it deserves. Kai isn't the only problem here; Sarah Paulson's Ally is just as much a caricature and maybe even worse - a totally unreal person and cartoony extreme liberal modeled after the type of people who get constantly "triggered' by seemingly everything, which does an extreme disservice to real people suffering from anxiety and extreme phobias like Ally does. The show is consistently cruel to Ally in order to emphasize a point in a way that's disingenuous, even treating her as insane at one point, and you have to wonder: is this gaslighting or is it just being judgmental?

Is this season totally without merit? No, not at all. The direction is typically well-done, and at least early on, there's a lot of tense scenes shot at night that I think would definitely frighten the average viewer. And yes, the Trump election is still very much relevant, and though I disagree heavily with the way the show tackles the subject matter, Cult still at least tries to say something about it and you as an individual may even get something from it, and it at least definitely treats cults as the insane and horrific things they truly are. As for me, I got nothing from it, I think it's a tediously plotted season that goes downhill with every subsequent episode with ultimately hollow messaging that easily being outdone but its peers in both TV and on the silver screen.


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That's all completely fair and accurate. Cult seems like a season that they tried to write so fast in order to stay relevant and timely that they didn't have time to write anything that made sense or any legitimate points. Literally just all over the place and I have no idea what the ultimate purpose was supposed to be

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I have a love/hate relationship with AHS. Ive never even watched Cult but from your description I think Id also not be a fan. The too many storylines, not enough focus is my main issue with the show, even though there are actors and plots I really like.

I loved the 1980s season (although I just love that setting for horror in general) and the first season was excellent. I really liked the beginning of Asylum and Carnival, but both of those I felt like were complete messes by the end. I begrudgingly finished Asylum but Carnival I quit halfway through. Hotel was awful and I gave up after two episodes. Coven I thought was fun and watched all the way through, but Im not sure if that was as much horror as they were hoping for.

So its definitely hit or miss for me. Ive been meaning to go back to Cult at some point because 1980s has me big on the show again, but maybe Ill just cut my losses at this point!

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