Current Events > What do I need to know about dating a guy in the military?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I dont really think theres a secret, just be yourself and if they have instances of PTSD or something greater that you need to change yourself for Id recommend you study up on that and how to be a support for that specific instance

or that^^

yeah, consider if you like someone being away for long periods of time and if thats ever worked out in other scenarios.. if you feel like you can trust that, etc

Lots of military relationships fail because of the cheating. Either him deployed or her waiting for him to get back.
Source: grew up in military bases worldwide.

Not sure about Canadian army but what someone said about him likely to cheat, that's probably what'll happen. If not that, then you'll find out 2-3 months in about his horrible (symptom of untreated mental health issue and trauma) and be expected to coddle him and care for him in ways that he won't even care for himself.

A lot of time spent away from home, anger issues, issues not communicating with you. Be careful.

what everyone else said, also the chance he won't come home one day. Everyone says they won't cheat, and then it happens.

The military uses cult tactics. Abbreviations only the in group knows, change of name, move far away from home, new "brothers and sisters" etc

So maybe look up cult recovery methods

he's a fucking pylon, enjoy

There will be a lot of banquets

The military members I work around seem to always be trying to sell themselves, so be prepared for interactions to be like that.

Hell probably cheat on you and/or vice versa. I dont even like generalizing but every military person I know says this

These takes are a bit cynical. But then again my buddy lost his virginity to a woman who had a deployed husband...

I would also be very unsurprised if my dad (air force) cheated when he was younger.

Sell themselves like how do you mean? Like trying to show the best stuff at the beginning to get someone interested? Or like they are always trying to make themselves sound super awesome to those around them? Something else?

These takes are a bit cynical. But then again my buddy lost his virginity to a woman who had a deployed husband...

I would also be very unsurprised if my dad (air force) cheated when he was younger.

the circumstances are perfect, both parties are far away, contact is very little, unlikely to find out, etc..

People get lonely and then do things as attraction wanes, plus sometimes you don't even know if your spouse is still alive if you haven't heard from them in a while

As an example, the main difference when I meet military members vs other coworkers is that the military members feel like I'm interviewing them for a job versus just being introduced to someone.

I imagine some of it comes from having less flexibility in their job roles. Like if I think a project would be useful I can just do it, whereas they have to get a superior to both be interested enough to assign *someone* to the role and also have to have them assign *them* specifically.

So it's not like...bragging or talking themselves up...it's more like always pitching.

depending on the branch and job, maybe a deployment for several months to a year long every few years.

moving to a new place every 4-8 years

if you live on base, get used to people from all walks of life being around you (well, anywhere close to a major base fits the bill)

get used to wondering why he/she thinks yelling at top volume is a form of correction and authority.

get used to extremely stupid friends unless they have already been in for several years, in which case only the occasional stupid friend. unless they are officers, in which case they have no friends.

all of this comes from the US military tho. good luck, the horror stories are real, but not as rampant as lead to believe.

As someone who has actually done time in the military I have at least a bit of actual insight.

First off, military folks are just people like anyone else. They are prone to the same general pros and cons that you must consider when dating anyone. I read some of these other comments and usurpingly it seems many people on CE don't actually know that.

There are some military specific things to consider, however. The biggest one is that you have to expect that your partner will often be gone for random periods of time. Could be 1 day, a weekend, 3 weeks, 6 months+, etc. Depends highly on what their job is and what unit they are in.

Now do you have to worry about them cheating on you while they are away? Not necessarily but it does happen, and it depends largely on what they are doing and where they are going. 3-day liberty port in Spain? Yeah, there is definitely a higher percentage chance that they might cheat on their significant other as you would expect with any young adult male in that situation. 6-month deployment to Iraq? Not so likely. But at the end of the day the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY do not and will not ever cheat on their significant other.

In fact, the majority of cheating in the military is usually done the other way around. Spouses are left home alone sometimes for months at a time and get terribly lonely. So sometimes they look to someone else for comfort while their partner is gone, hence all the "She's with Jodi" and "Dear John letter" jokes when military folk deploy. Trust me those jokes didn't just come out of thin air; I've witnessed it myself.

So the more important question to ask is, are you cool with this person potentially being gone for long periods of time? Even without the cheating aspect it can still be quite a strain on a relationship so it's something you should definitely consider beforehand. For him it's a part of the job that he already expects, but for you it's something new.

The whole anger/PTSD does happen to some guys, again depends highly on what his job is, where he's been, what he's done, etc. before you even have to consider it. Truthfully though it only takes about 10 minutes browsing CE to see that mental issues is not something unique to military folk.

As someone that was actually in the military. Dont listen to like 99 percent of the posts here lol. Honestly, most of the cheating is from the spouse while the soldier is away. Thats why the meme about Jody exists. If hes deployed theres a good chance its 99 percent guys in the desert with one girl and shes probably already got her man.

as for gunplas per usual ignorant post on literally anybody thats not like them. Yeah only 10 percent of the military has actually experienced combat. So no, hes not going to be some untreated deranged ptsd person. We are also technically at peace time as well.

If its long distance just try and communicate about expectations and future planning. If he lives hours away and you dont even plan on moving or Vice versa, then what are you doing.

if it gets serious is he getting out, living on post if he stays in. Etc. Its really not that much different at all unless he gets deployed for 9-11 months. Which is really nothing

but please, dont listen to the headache of these posts

If you're not in a committed relationship (marriage, kids, a home or dream you two share/mutual understanding) he is 100% going to cheat on you because there are hundreds of hot people in the military who are also horny not to mention in other countries.

People only cheat when they don't take each other seriously

Do I dare ask night CE for advice?

Don't eat yellow snow

Canadian Army

Get married immediately, and you'll get a free tour of world

Oh. I don't think Canada does that, give or take NORAD.

I'm pretty sure NORAD is Canada's only foreign base.
What does the Canadian military even do? I guess Russia is right across the top of the planet, but what would Putin want with Poutine?

Do I dare ask night CE for advice?

I'm pretty sure NORAD is Canada's only foreign base.
What does the Canadian military even do? I guess Russia is right across the top of the planet, but what would Putin want with Poutine?

I mean they literally have what are basically assassins that coordinate with the United States.

probably won't get any answers you didn't already here, the PTSD, potential infidelity, and long distance/suddenly being deployed/death. So stuff you can deal with in normal relationships but kinda magnified in a military relationship.

Lol fun! My anxiety is going to love it! Now I just want the end of the month to come so I hurry up and see him.

I'm pretty much with darkprince here, I served 4 years, logistics company so we didn't have infantry or combat experienced soldiers. Most of us just missed our significant other, didn't see much cheating or stuff like that. We went to strip clubs and whatnot but that was really the end of it. Girl I was with left me late into my deployment so I became kind of a ho after that and slept around a bit.

Dont. All you really need to know, lol

Well I mean it is what it is lol. You just focus on the good. if you're confident things won't turn out that way, then the opinions of a bunch of randoms on an internet message board don't hold any weight. It's not like people drive cars with the expectation of getting into fatal crashes every day.