Current Events > I think I am good on dating for awhile

(+) Yeah! (+)

Had a really nice 7 hour date last night, she seemed pretty into me.

Texted me this morning yeah I felt no romantic connection so kthxbai

Yeah so Im done for awhile.

7 hour first date? A little intense, no?

COVxy posted...

7 hour first date? A little intense, no?

Yeah I bought her dinner to so pretty sure thats all she was after, but I mean we mostly bsed. I was just pretty surprised.

I had a 4.5 hour first that I wanted to end at 2 hours, but she wanted to keep hanging out.

Text the next day was the same as yours.

Spending 7 hours with someone and feeling nothing.

Do they at least like wanna be friends or something?

WingsOfGood posted...

Spending 7 hours with someone and feeling nothing.

Do they at least like wanna be friends or something?

Yeah like honestly Im kinda mad. Like if thats how yall felt you could have given me 4 hours of my night back. Maybe I was a bad kisser who knows.

The X Dawg posted...

I had a 4.5 hour first that I wanted to end at 2 hours, but she wanted to keep hanging out.

Text the next day was the same as yours.

Yeah is legitimately weird.

What.. the heck? Like you sat at dinner for seven hours? Or went to dinner for a while then went out on a walk or something?

I need an hourly breakdown

Im more annoyed cause I paid for dinner too lol.

But yeah between this and the other girl I was seeing fizzling out Im pretty burnt out.

PatrickMahomes posted...

What.. the heck? Like you sat at dinner for seven hours? Or went to dinner for a while then went out on a walk or something?

I need an hourly breakdown

We sat dinner for 2ish, then she invited me to grab a couple of beers at this bar not far from the restaurant. Then wanted to sing to me in the car, then like half made out with me while I was leaving.

Then texts me this morning like lolno.

Vermander posted...

We sat dinner for 2ish, then she invited me to grab a couple of beers at this bar not far from the restaurant. Then wanted to sing to me in the car, then like half made out with me while I was leaving.

Then texts me this morning like lolno.

How long did she sing to you?

Why would you do a 7-hour date let alone dinner on a first date? Unless you knew her well before hand?

Always keep first dates short.

CommonStar posted...

Why would you do a 7-hour date let alone dinner on a first date? Unless you knew her well before hand?

Always keep first dates short.

I wanted Italian, but boy you can sure as hell it aint happening on a first date again.

Silver lining is my dinner was absolutely delicious so I aint that mad.

Dinner 2 hours
Went to a bar maybe 30 min travel time
Drink for idk 1-2 hours

How did you squeeze 3 more in there? Makeout for 3 hours?

One thing I learnt the hard way...

Keep your first few dates SHORT.
People are driven by scarcity. If the girl hangs out with you for too long, she'd feel like she has experienced all you got to offer already

WingsOfGood posted...

Dinner 2 hours
Went to a bar maybe 30 min travel time
Drink for idk 1-2 hours

How did you squeeze 3 more in there? Makeout for 3 hours?

If you want to get technical. It started at 7:30, and ended at 1:00 AM. I would say were at the bar a good 4 hours.

you guys are a trip

This chick legit sang to him for 3 hours and when he wasn't bedazzled she was like "no connection"

Wutobliteration posted...

One thing I learnt the hard way...

Keep your first few dates SHORT.
People are driven by scarcity. If the girl hangs out with you for too long, she'd feel like she has experienced all you got to offer already

I mean I wasnt going to awkwardly cut it short when I was having a nice time.

Touch posted...

This chick legit sang to him for 3 hours and when he wasn't bedazzled she was like "no connection"

Maybe he didn't tell her how amazing her voice was

Touch posted...

This chick legit sang to him for 3 hours and when he wasn't bedazzled she was like "no connection"

No no, she wanted me to sing to her, and bugged me to, and I did, and she said she was impressed. I dont think this anything to do with anything though.

Vermander posted...

No no, she wanted me to sing to her, and bugged me to, and I did, and she said she was impressed. I dont think this anything to do with anything though.

Oh in that post you put "wanted to sing to you in the car"

this happened

Touch posted...

Oh in that post you put "wanted to sing to you in the car"

Sorry typo lol.

Vermander posted...

No no, she wanted me to sing to her, and bugged me to, and I did, and she said she was impressed. I dont think this anything to do with anything though.

Ah.
Your song didn't move her and make her feel like if you couldn't have her you would end yourself. Not enough passion and hertbreak.

Well you've got nothing else to lose, I say politely press her a little bit and ask what drove her away. I've asked before. Just say you take zero offense to anything, including if it's a physical appearance thing, and they she can lay into you if she wants.

Chad mustve gotten a higher score than you on the karaoke mini game and thats why shes giving you the swerve. Sucks but work on those high notes for next time

PatrickMahomes posted...

Well you've got nothing else to lose, I say politely press her a little bit and ask what drove her away. I've asked before. Just say you take zero offense to anything, including if it's a physical appearance thing, and they she can lay into you if she wants.

She said no romantic connection

WingsOfGood posted...

Ah.
Your song didn't move her and make her feel like if you couldn't have her you would end yourself. Not enough passion and hertbreak.

Pitlord_Special posted...

Chad mustve gotten a higher score than you on the karaoke mini game and thats why shes giving you the swerve. Sucks but work on those high notes for next time

I didnt even want to sing but she kept harassing me about it lol.

Vermander posted...

I mean I wasnt going to awkwardly cut it short when I was having a nice time.

You should absolutely do that. Setting boundaries is good for a healthy relationship. Trust.

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

My guy you did 3 dates with one girl in a week before making passionate declarations and then a 7 hour date with another girl. You got something better at night than go on dates every night? Keep in mind this is all while still thinking about a 7 year ex.

Its a serious question, perhaps youre putting too much energy/investment in dating and women and the girls can sense it. Looks to me like you should be focusing more on yourself at the moment.

Everyone just says focus on yourself, but its unclear what that means. I am in shape, make pretty good money, take care of myself and have a handful of friends. It seems like a way of saying You really have no control over this so focus on something else you do.

Vermander posted...

Everyone just says focus on yourself, but its unclear what that means.

It is way of saying you aren't fit for dating and should wait until you are. Which is funny because all sorts of people date who are not ready and they do fine.

WingsOfGood posted...

It is way of saying you aren't fit for dating and should wait until you are. Which is funny because all sorts of people date who are not ready and they do fine.

Yeah like what defines ready? Going on dates and dates and not being successful is frustrating and exhausting even if I have a positive mindset. Its annoying to spend a lot of time and money on something and it goes nowhere.

A 7 hour first date? Sounds like the first mistake right there.

I'm no expert, but you gotta keep some kind of mystery on the first date. 7 hours on a first date is way too long for something casual.

NatsuSama posted...

A 7 hour first date? Sounds like the first mistake right there.

I'm no expert, but you gotta keep some kind of mystery on the first date. 7 hours on a first date is way too long for something casual.

I never really think about these things. I assume if there is chemistry it just works without thinking. There are so many rules to follow and so many things that can go wrong its almost impossible to keep up with them all.

Vermander posted...

Everyone just says focus on yourself, but its unclear what that means. I am in shape, make pretty good money, take care of myself and have a handful of friends. It seems like a way of saying You really have no control over this so focus on something else you do.

They're talking about the Sigma male grindset

Vermander posted...

I never really think about these things. I assume if there is chemistry it just works without thinking. There are so many rules to follow and so many things that can go wrong its almost impossible to keep up with them all.

That's exactly why Id say 7 hours is too long for a first casual date.

Any flaws you have, the longer the date the sooner they can notice flaws and decide to bail.

Think of it as you were a salesman. When a sucke...I mean customer walks in to buy something, you want to sell your product as soon as possible. Not have them stick around long enough to notice flaws in the product. You want them to find those minor flaws after the customer has already invested so much into the product, the sunken cost fallacy kicks in.

Assuming your flaws aren't huge dealbreakers, you can ease folks into your minor flaws later into the relationship.

Vermander posted...

Everyone just says focus on yourself, but its unclear what that means. I am in shape, make pretty good money, take care of myself and have a handful of friends. It seems like a way of saying You really have no control over this so focus on something else you do.

Basically take time to be happy being single. Find a new hobby, invest more time in a hobby you already have, or just hang with friends more.

NatsuSama posted...

That's exactly why Id say 7 hours is too long for a first casual date.

Any flaws you have, the longer the date the sooner they can notice flaws and decide to bail.

Think of it as you were a salesman. When a sucke...I mean customer walks in to buy something, you want to sell your product as soon as possible. Not have them stick around long enough to notice flaws in the product. You want them to find those minor flaws after the customer has already invested so much into the product, the sunken cost fallacy kicks in.

Assuming your flaws aren't huge dealbreakers, you can ease folks into your minor flaws later into the relationship.

I mean it wont be happening again cause Im over having my time wasted.

NoxObscuras posted...

Basically take time to be happy being single. Find a new hobby, invest more time in a hobby you already have, or just hang with friends more.

Sounds like coping.

NatsuSama posted...

That's exactly why Id say 7 hours is too long for a first casual date.

Any flaws you have, the longer the date the sooner they can notice flaws and decide to bail.

Think of it as you were a salesman. When a sucke...I mean customer walks in to buy something, you want to sell your product as soon as possible. Not have them stick around long enough to notice flaws in the product. You want them to find those minor flaws after the customer has already invested so much into the product, the sunken cost fallacy kicks in.

Assuming your flaws aren't huge dealbreakers, you can ease folks into your minor flaws later into the relationship.

Nah. Stop trying to manipulate women into wanting you.
Just go out. It don't work, it don't work.

However, also don't waste your time.

If you had loads of fun on the 7 hour date, then you got what you wanted I guess.

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

You say "having your time wasted" as if you were owed a good time. Going on dates that didn't work out isn't having your "time wasted." There's much to learn about what happened on these dates and what mistakes not to do. You come off as a pessimist. I bet some of that spills onto your dates.

I am a realist, which happens to be nothing really ever works out for me.

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

lol yikes. You can either do that or continue over filling your schedule with bad dates that make you feel even worse.

I mean Im so tired now Ill probably just game and drum. The well is tapped on these apps unless I want to pay money for them, so if I want a better social life it would be better spent joining a club or something.

Vermander posted...

I mean Im so tired now Ill probably just game and drum. The well is tapped on these apps unless I want to pay money for them, so if I want a better social life it would be better spent joining a club or something.

Didn't you have fun on your 7 hour date?

Never do dinner dates date 1. Only coffee, drinks, walk, drive, whatever. Keep it light.

That way you lose only 7 hours and not 7 hours and $70

Vermander posted...

Sounds like coping.

Coping? Well then, let me ask you this. You've been going on a lot of dates in a short amount of time? Why?

NoxObscuras posted...

Coping? Well then, let me ask you this. You've been going on a lot of dates in a short amount of time? Why?

Horniness, trying to win the breakup, boredom. Probably on some level to develop something by the summer time when my leases ends and I get out-priced if I live alone.

The reasons can go on.

Vermander posted...

trying to win the breakup

???????