Current Events > Activision Blizzard diversity tool classifies Mario as 'presumably straight'

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://www.thegamer.com/activision-blizzard-diversity-tool-mario-straight/

Fair

His heterosexuality has been in question ever since the bowsette comic

Hopefully Nintendo will respond with artwork of Mario having gay sex

Instead of making a tool that analyzes diversity, they should of made a tool that analyzes how to make good games.

My god, the obsession with some unquantifiable, undefined usage of "diversity" is just so fucking dumb.

Well it's stupid but they ain't wrong. He's always in the Nintendo kid friendly way been known to have a thing for peach. But he's never confirmed or denied having a thing for guys. So presumably straight fits.

Now make him fill out the form so we can properly dispense shame:
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/2/4/2/AABJX0AADO2K.jpg

Lmfao

The stache + overalls couldve fooled me. Plus he has a total bear body.

Nah I heard he wuz givin mustache rides at femboy hooters. So he prolly swings both ways? All doe he did really really like to eat the princess's cake.

Toad, on the other hand, definitely swings both ways.

I'm just surprised Toad fucks at all.

Activision Blizzards new "diversity tool" isnt the end of gamings problems with representation, as much as the Call of Duty publisher would have liked it to be given its various lawsuits.

This hurt to read.

I want to get my hands on this tool

Mario is a well known homophobe tho. smh

https://youtu.be/OCh2l0J1uJk

Maybe Mario is bi but doesn't have any good male choices to go after in his universe. I mean, himself + Luigi are like the only fuckable men in his series, with Luigi being a no go since he's his brother. The rest of the men are animals, people that look like children, and Wario + WaLuigi.

I mean he banged Peach, Daisy, and Paulina. And wants to be banged by literally every female party member in TTYD. That seems straight to me >_>

No joke though, they spend as much time making sure their game is PC enough as they do developing it.

Yoshi on the other hand looking at his partner....

According to Dennis Hopper, who was Koopa, Mario has Black ancestry.

<_<

That doesn't change his orientation, but it should give him a blip on the diversity radar, right? Maybe? No?

Luigi is probably bi.

He totes had a crush on Prince Bean Bean.

Hes already got a lot of diversity by Blizzards scale. Hes short and fat so hes got the body type metric down, hes from kind of a unique country by video game standards and he has a regular blue-collar job instead of being crazy rich or poor. If Nintendo can replace his legs with robot ones and have him be from the middle-east next game he could easily be a 10.

Its hilarious to me that the above paragraph is genuine. Some PR person at Blizzard is a genius for figuring out they could distract from their union busting by releasing details on their super racist character creator tool.

what the actual fuck is this
this has to be satire

the lady presenting sounds like a terrified student that forgot they had a presentation until the morning of lmao

you can tell she is either completely without faith in or actively embarrassed by the stuff shes talking about

Choco posted...

what the actual fuck is this
this has to be satire

Unfortunately it's not.

A diversity quantification tool sounds like the kind of thing only a childless white woman could come up with.

Hey, Activision.

Give Pitfall Harry a boyfriend!

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/1/7/AAdlC_AADQhl.jpg