Current Events > Guys would have a much easier time dating if they just liked, tried 20%

(+) Yeah! (+)

"Why aren't women lining up to fuck me?" - literally every dude who doesn't even attempt to make himself fuckable (or likeable)

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I did everything I could to make myself presentable as a 5'3" and balding guy. If nothings working for me I don't see how it's any of my fault for not giving "the effort"

Yeah people should admit that beyond a certain point the deck is so stacked that a guy would need remarkable skills to overcome it.

5'3 and balding is a significant disadvantage.

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Because I think about it later and realize it was dumb. Not a huge deal but I'm not exactly a captivating speaker either.

To dial things back in a bit, this kind of goes back to tacit modes of abuse that women are good at picking up on, but might not even be a conscious fixture in the guy's mind. Women have so much experience doing SOCIALIZING (in the sociology 101 sense of the word) that they expect everyone to be on their level.

I can't imagine what it's like to lose energy talking though, that sounds horrible.

you have to put in so much more effort as a normal dude to get love that it's crazy. I won't dismiss the part about us being scumbags because we're disgusting but then so are a lot of women. it's absolutely a double standard and I'm not gonna pretend that it isn't

I also have to make the caveat that I live in Seattle which is notoriously a bad dating scene for straight men

So basically, max out your schedule with cool shit so you can spend your 1 hour of free time with your gf?

MedeaLysistrata posted...

So basically, max out your schedule with cool shit so you can spend your 1 hour of free time with your gf?

Yes.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

So basically, max out your schedule with cool shit so you can spend your 1 hour of free time with your gf?

Nah, that's not enough for your gf to understand how cool you are. You need to use that 1 hour too. Then you tell her, that you can't spend time with her because you have to much cool shit to do.

The quality of men will improve when the quality of women improve. I'll wait

Why does it make me laugh that this topic has 110 posts?

NoxObscuras posted...

Nah, that's not enough for your gf to understand how cool you are. You need to use that 1 hour too. Then you tell her, that you can't spend time with her because you have to much cool shit to do.

At that point I may as well just scream "scram toots"

lennethsoki posted...

They'd have an easier time if they just approached them in person rather than dating apps >_> The success rate is unreal IRL Much easier to recover from a bad first impression since you're both in a constant tug-of-war of the situation rather than an online setting where you're typically giving them a chance to process what you said and find a reason to delete and block you.

Heck, half my successes had awful first impressions, but I rebounded quickly because, again, real life doesn't have a block button and you can use body language, vocal inflections, and expressions to mold the situation at all points.

Seriously, just go to the mall or something and approach somebody. It's awesome. Even better if it's just you and you're approaching a group: it tells them you're confident.

Online dating is best for hookups meeting IRL is always best.

people fuck their own shit up texting a chick they dont know for months..not realizing shes getting laid & sprayed and texting them after

MedeaLysistrata posted...

lol everyone wants to be the listener

I'm introverted... but I'm definitely the talker in the relationship. I always found it weird because I have like one or two really close friends, prefer being alone and I very rarely go out to parties, or have a desire to, but I sure do have a lot to say

https://youtu.be/LJtrpnOrggo

kinetika_ posted...

I'm introverted... but I'm definitely the talker in the relationship. I always found it weird because I have like one or two really close friends, prefer being alone and I very rarely go out to parties, or have a desire to, but I sure do have a lot to say

I also have issues treating people how they want to be treated... -_-

legendary_zell posted...

Take pictures with good lighting and backgrounds that involve you doing something interesting and looking happy. Wear your best casual wear in these. No selfies, no bathroom shots, no boomer Facebook profile shots, no Webcam pictures, no pictures of you from high school or college, just the 5 or 6 most interesting, high quality photos you have. No family pics or women of ambiguous relationship to you, no hover handing. If you have a cute dog or cat, include it for sure.

Check out what most of the gender your competing with's profiles and copy the good stuff and avoid the bad stuff to stand out.

Try to use apps where you can message first so you can stand out beyond looks.

Have a relatively short statement of your interests and something for the other person to grab onto when starting a convo.

Send tailored messages related to something in their profile, shared interests, something specific to them, unless you have a really good and non cringey standard line.

Do not jump in immediately talking about sex in your first few messages.

Do these things and congratulations, you're in the top percentage of male profiles. I'm not saying you'll get an avalanche of matches, but it should be enough to go from nothing to something.

This is actually 100% correct. You'd be surprised how much you'll stand out from other dudes just by avoiding immediately talking about sex, alone.

KhlavicLanguage posted...

It comes from salt.

lol, hear me out. There are definitely dudes who get laid just for existing. Tall skinny guys who'd otherwise be incels if they were 5'8 and chubby, that sorta thing. No they aren't having the greatest quality relationships nor are they cleaning house the way incel forums make it sound, but if they leave their house at all then they can reasonably expect a gf to fall to their lap more or less. At least once.

To incels furiously typing away at their keyboards who are in their 20s, 30s, and never had even a single sexual experience, this is infuriating and they basically are salty to have lost out on that and want a reroll

I'm 6 foot 3 and skinny, girls dont even look at me.

DespondentDeity posted...

Dudes will sit around all week eating fast food or cereal and frozen waffles daily, drinking almost daily, and playing video games then earnestly be like, women are too picky.

This is literally me except replace the frozen waffles and cereal with work and i still have a rotation of ladies i see >_> not even bragging either cuz id like something stable and monogamous....

Huh guess you might have pointed out why i dont have that >_>

Nasty_Nitro posted...

people fuck their own shit up texting a chick they dont know for months..not realizing shes getting laid & sprayed and texting them after

I dunno man, I think this is a skewed view of online dating; I'm usually going from matching to meeting in person in a week or so.

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This is some of the worse advice ever. Not trying to single you out, or being rude but I'm justing venting a bit here. I hate how everytime I say something like that someone just post stuff like "get better and overcome your unattractive traits". How about I tell you that your job and your pay sucks, why don't you stop being lazy and get a $500k yearly job. Or something like, why do you suck at your favorite sport? You should have worked hard and overcome your barriers and get drafted by the nfl.

By far, I'm just a regular guy. I can't make myself have all kinds of talents and super powers. I do have quite a few interests and hobbies, and I do try to make myself the nicest and interesting guy I can be. Unfortunately things don't go the way I wanted to, but that's ok I know I tried and put in the effort, I guess. But the worse thing is somebody coming along and saying stuff like I'm just a lazy sloth and stuff like I deserve to be where I'm at, that stings. And frankly, it's also feels very much like an insult.

People are too much work. Who wants to date anyway?

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Both are perspectives are valid. It's fair to say that if we all improved ourselves we'd have better results. It's also fair to say that it's easier said than done and is a huge amount of effort and resources for some people and the same standards don't apply across the board so it's not helpful and may even be harmful to give blanket advice like that when some people face overwhelming odds and you yourself may not face the same challenges.

Based on how many posts such a simple topic has, Id say it seems to hit a nerve. You can do it lads. Be the best you can be.

It's not as if you're wrong outright. It's that this is about as an emotionally charged subject as it gets where people commonly give blanket advice that isn't very helpful. If you're a balding and/or short dude it's like people blame you for it when you can't *really* control those things.

So it's a very complex and daunting situation and so many people have no empathy. And that's what I think he's looking for rather than advice which takes years to implement - I wouldn't blame him if that were the case because as a man, generally, people just don't give a fuck if you're dealt a bad hand.

Why are you acting so poor?

What is this gross shit that men apparently say early on? Is it like sexual jokes or something?

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I'm fully in agreement with you, you gave solid advices. I'm a 5'6 asian male and I managed to get married. I've also gotten into dates in the past as well, with girls who are way over my level as well. I've obviously been dealt a bad hand in the gene pool and I also been in that situation where I would complain and vent how it's unfair that girls don't have to work as hard as men regarding the dating scene. It took motivation and dedication to change my way of thinking once I went into college. There were 3 weaknesses I suffered from, not having a high paying job, having a gut body, and my social skills. I started prioritizing to network my ass off to get into a good CPA firm and I started to hit the gym and diet very harshly to get the beach body that I have now. I also tried my best to talk with family and friends more often to try to best my social skills (something I still suffer up till this day) Once I past the defeatist attitude, hitting on girls became twice as easier because I was able to approach them with confidence. Unfortunately none of my dates worked out in College because I only went after the 8-9/10 girls and didn't realize how important it was to actually get to know them. Anytime I would talk to them, it would always seem like we're in two different worlds. I kind of gave up on dating for 5 years because of it until I met my wife while I was doing a community service event at a local church (I'm an atheist, but I like to do volunteer help). It was the first time I met someone who was in the same wave length as me. We started to click. I'll be honest, she wasn't that good looking compared to the previous dates I've been in, and she's 1 year older than me. It took 2 years of friendship before we tied the knot on our third year.

I'll be honest, even becoming a CPA and having a beach body, I would probably still suffer if I relied on online dating. I even have female co-workers who flat out admit that they only have a tinder account to boost their self-esteem and would go out of their way to make fun of some of the guys (particularly the ones that send dick pics by calling it small). I've even saw this fat girl on the bus who was constantly swiping left on most of the guys. I'll fully admit that if I too would've hated dating if I was only introduced to it using dating apps. It's also important to know the reason online dating is so skewed towards females and not males is because there's more males using these apps than females. Males are more likely to make the first move, because of gender roles and because on average males are just hornier creatures than females. Also these dating apps are designed to make money as well, which is absolutely predatory to all the lonely single guys using them.

I also want to point out that sometimes it's better not to date as well. I had a friend from highschool who gave up dating as a whole because she had one bad relationship that really fucked with her mentally and physically. I also have a close friend who got into a bad divorce and lost half of his assets and lost custody to his kid to his wife. In our social media, sometimes we romanticize the crap out of dating and marriage, but sometimes being single is probably the best thing to happen to you. Financially, you'll have more money in your wallet, don't have to be fed up with all the relationship dramas that come with it, and the biggest pro is the amount of freedom you get. Typing this sentence now my daughter is screaming at the top of her lungs and I have no idea how to stop it. I've lost 2-3 hours of sleep because of it and I still have to go to work today.

What I'm basically trying to get at is that if you absolutely want to get into the dating scene, the best advice is to get rid of the defeatist attitude and do things to help improve yourself. If you felt you did all you could and still can't get a date, sometimes being single in of itself is gift as well. There's nothing wrong about being single. Some of the happiest guys I know are single.

Girls are good!

It's not a men or women problem. It's a problem of the individual.

There's so many factors that go into finding someone to be with.

"Do you have realistic standards?" being the very first one. Are you self aware enough to know who you deserve and who doesn't sync up?

This is even a better than you type thing. Example: I like being a minimalist, so for me to expect someone high maintenance to be into me is just unrealistic. I focused my life on all the stuff they don't put value in. So, Im worthless to most of them. Am I worthless to myself and my family? Not even remotely. And me being perceived as worthless to someone who doesn't share my same lifestyle and values doesn't really matter in any capacity. It makes no sense to waste my energy there instead of focus on the women who share my interests and values. Don't feed into the outrage.

Hey pinky, how many girls have you slept with?

Its 70% physical appearance, 20% bank account/income, and 10% personality

no one wants to hear it but its the truth

VigorouslySwish posted...

Its 70% physical appearance, 20% bank account/income, and 10% personality

no one wants to hear it but its the truth

Sure, if your personality is as dull as dishwater, you may still get dates if you're hot. But that's not the only scenario that works.

Having a great personality can get you dates, even without great looks.

Bump.

lel

ColdOne666 posted...

I'm 6 foot 3 and skinny, girls dont even look at me.

From the kind of things I've seen you post I don't blame em

Girls love tall men.

#1 tip for dudes is just dont be thirsty. Dont be weird.

You dont have to try to hit a home run every time. Just plant the seed and come back to it later. Get a phone number or Snapchat. Show that youre not weird. Do this with multiple women and over time youll have options.These women will actually like and trust you. Youll have friends and dating options.

Thats one simple fact that guys overlook. Women dont smash just based off looks its also whether youre trustworthy and if shes comfortable with you. If she happens to get pregnant are you gonna ghost? Do you seem like a stalker? These are valid concerns. If youre not a creep pussy is relatively easy to come by.

MrDrMan posted...

#1 tip for dudes is just dont be thirsty. Dont be weird.

You dont have to try to hit a home run every time. Just plant the seed and come back to it later. Get a phone number or Snapchat. Show that youre not weird. Do this with multiple women and over time youll have options.These women will actually like and trust you. Youll have friends and dating options.

Thats one simple fact that guys overlook. Women dont smash just based off looks its also whether youre trustworthy and if shes comfortable with you. If she happens to get pregnant are you gonna ghost? Do you seem like a stalker? These are valid concerns. If youre not a creep pussy is relatively easy to come by.

its the age-old dont put it on a pedestal

some guys just cant help it though

Sunhawk posted...

Girls love tall men.

and wide