Current Events > Are you 30+ years old and still single?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm 35 and in a zombie marriage that died 4 years ago stay single my friends.

ToucheTurtle posted...

I'm 35 and in a zombie marriage that died 4 years ago stay single my friends.

Get divorced then. Post divorce life was the best for me

ToucheTurtle posted...

I'm 35 and in a zombie marriage that died 4 years ago stay single my friends.

Sticking in it for the kids or what?

AP3Brain posted...

Sticking in it for the kids or what?

More so out of complacency.

bsp77 posted...

When you find the right person, this isn't an issue. I can completely be myself with my gf, which is not necessarily true with past women.

Maybe, but if that's true ive never met the right person still. I could do a committed long term relationship and spend the rest if my days with the right person, but tbh the right person would have to be cool with not cohabitating I think.

Ive lived with girls in the past and id do it again if it was like one of us was looking for a new place or something and it was temporary... but I dunno if I wanna live together with someone every single day for the rest of my life. I really appreciate my solitude. even if I spend most of my free time time with that person it feels more comforting to me to know I have my own space honestly.

I'm 38 and never married. I've had a few serious girlfriends. I've likely dated the right person, but I wasn't ready to compromise on my life preferences. That was four years ago, and I haven't really looked for anyone since.

I don't need someone else to be happy. I rather like my life as it is. I'm not actively looking to change anything. I want to remind everyone that a relationship is not a requirement to happiness. You can find it alone too.

CanuckCowboy posted...

Maybe, but if that's true ive never met the right person still. I could do a committed long term relationship and spend the rest if my days with the right person, but tbh the right person would have to be cool with not cohabitating I think.

Ive lived with girls in the past and id do it again if it was like one of us was looking for a new place or something and it was temporary... but I dunno if I wanna live together with someone every single day for the rest of my life. I really appreciate my solitude. even if I spend most of my free time time with that person it feels more comforting to me to know I have my own space honestly.

So if we have an entire Saturday with nothing to do and are staying in, this is how the 16 hours would break out:

4 hours together doing stuff like tv, movies, eating, cooking, talking, etc

2 hours in the same room but doing our own thing like reading, phone, computer

2 hours being intimate and/or sex

8 hours in completely different rooms

Not that that extreme situation happens that often, but I spend a lot of time by myself

ToucheTurtle posted...

More so out of complacency.

That's not right

bsp77 posted...

So if we have an entire Saturday with nothing to do and are staying in, this is how the 16 hours would break out:

4 hours together doing stuff like tv, movies, eating, cooking, talking, etc

2 hours in the same room but doing our own thing like reading, phone, computer

2 hours being intimate and/or sex

8 hours in completely different rooms

Not that that extreme situation happens that often, but I spend a lot of time by myself

I could absolutely handle that with the right girl. I guess separate places was a bit far, but also I really feel anyone I could actually live with would have to want time for themselves at least as much as I need it... also like a carriage house and main house on the same property would be even better lol. I'll take the small house she can have the main one and id be happier than all hell.

rexcrk posted...

friends tell me that if they suggest me to girls looking for dates, girls make a eugh yuck face

What kind of friends are those

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

I have never seen such self loathing and such a defeatist attitude.

Hell even other forever alones take pride in knowing they have friends, family, and hobbies even if not dating or in a relationship. That they actually know nerd/dork or not that they have friendship, and shared hobbies.

To believe having a girlfriend or relationship is a end all be all and belief that will complete you is the mindset of someone who has not lived.

Id like to know what crazy shit you heard or saw at 8 years old that made this a set in stone life choice that matters more then anything else.

I'll definitely share that I was like this back in my highschool years. I'm a nerdy looking asian male and 5'6, so basically talk about the bottom of the barrel in terms of the dating scene. There was a lot of things that made me felt inadequate about myself and my life that I thought having things that I couldn't attain would help my life better. I always complained that why did I have to go the extra mile in improving myself while girls just have to exist and they could get things easily. It wasn't until in the middle of my college years did I start getting my shit together, stopped playing the oppression olympics, and started concentrating about increasing my self worth did I start seeing major improvements in my life as a whole.

FaytlessHearts posted...

How is this post still not deleted yet?

RashodBateman posted...

How is this post still not deleted yet?

They cant stand existance, need help and support and all you care about is how people can still publicly read their comment?

Prestoff posted...

I'll definitely share that I was like this back in my highschool years. I'm a nerdy looking asian male and 5'6, so basically talk about the bottom of the barrel in terms of the dating scene. There was a lot of things that made me felt inadequate about myself and my life that I thought having things that I couldn't attain would help my life better. I always complained that why did I have to go the extra mile in improving myself while girls just have to exist and they could get things easily. It wasn't until in the middle of my college years did I start getting my shit together, stopped playing the oppression olympics, and started concentrating about increasing my self worth did I start seeing major improvements in my life as a whole.

That is because you did not have a defeatist attitude and actually were willing to self improve, Id think you were not like this guy with life is meaningless without a girlfriend mindset.

Never met or seen anyone online who did not value other things besides being in a relationship, others cared about friends, family, hobbies, career ambitions, or some passion project.

Better take this discussion to the Incel subreddit

i dunno like I see it as time is ticking and instead of a long term burn relationship youll be in shorter term one

as in the girl would want babies, marriage asap

I think Ive said this before lol

So someone moderated my because I hated me life. It's great. I sincerely hope they don't have someone in their family suffering from severe depression, and then cause them to spiral uncontrollably when they scold them for offending someone by even suggesting you're depressed. Thanks mods.

Oh it was that disgusting piece of trash somewhere on this page.

Someone who wishes they were a famous sports player at that lmao 10 bucks says they can't see their own toes.

Dont break the rules.

RashodBateman posted...

Dont break the rules.

Don't wish you were a sports player when you're out of shape =/

Or like don't be a little coward and use a throw away account lmao

I could beat you in a foot race.

RashodBateman posted...

I could beat you in a foot race.

Definitely couldn't. I doubt you could take 5 steps out of your door tbqh.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

I have never seen such self loathing and such a defeatist attitude.

Hell even other forever alones take pride in knowing they have friends, family, and hobbies even if not dating or in a relationship. That they actually know nerd/dork or not that they have friendship, and shared hobbies.

To believe having a girlfriend or relationship is a end all be all and belief that will complete you is the mindset of someone who has not lived.

Id like to know what crazy shit you heard or saw at 8 years old that made this a set in stone life choice that matters more then anything else.

I use to think that way before getting into my 1st relationship at age 25 and since then had a few brief relationships over the years. I thought if I got a girlfriend somehow I'd be happy, I mean I was when I did but slowly realized if I wasn't happy with myself I couldn't be happy with a girlfriend in my life. The relationships failed cause I felt I wasn't ready personally to many issues from growing up I had to deal with it so I'm choosing to stay single. No negative views on dating or on women and the state of dating in this era of apps and social media. I've met women from tinder, work, family and friends and the opportunities to find good women are there.

From my experience it's best to find happiness within yourself or what others say love yourself first and then seek out a partner.

Honestly, this exchange has been sad and embarrassing for both of you.

apocalyptic_4 posted...

slowly realized if I wasn't happy with myself I couldn't be happy with a girlfriend in my life

That was the key for me. Finding happiness inside myself. I was in an abusive relationship from 18-21 and I stuck with her only because I was terrified of being alone.

Being emotionally abused and criticized day in and day out eventually made me realize... being single was way better than this. So I ended that relationship, difficult as it was, and moved ahead being happily single for like 4 years... got into another relationship that turned abusive quick... but since I knew my worth that time, I got out of it after about three months.

Now, I'm about to hit my third year of the happiest, healthiest, most stable and loving relationship of my life. I didn't meet her until I was 29 and a half.

It's not too late, guys. Accept yourself, find happiness in your own company. It's not the same for everybody, but for me, it was just a mental barrier that someone else broke for me. I could have broken it myself if I had known it was there.

Nope. Got a BF before 30, and been with him ever since

Im too old and ugly

i don't have a lot of outlets. i would like to start dating, and especially make more friends, but i don't have many interests that involve women and others. and it does kind of frustrate me tbh.

where do people go when they want to socialize and meet new people? a bar. but i dont drink, so i don't feel comfortable going to a bar. i certainly could go, but i feel like a bar isn't really "me".

while i am involved in clubs and hobbies, they're all male-dominated. i love computer programming, gaming and video editing, most of which is very male-dominated. my interests in general are very male-dominated. i'll admit, i could try more activities and see if i like them, such as yoga or something. so in this sense, i blame myself. this doesn't just apply to dating, but i also really want to make friends too.

in general, i dont have many outlets or interests that involve women, and that is my biggest downfall. again, this isn't only about dating. i really want to make friends too.

TheOnionKnight posted...

I always mention psychedelics in threads like these, and people always seem to just glide right over it. But people talking about exit strategies at 35 or 40? If you haven't tried psychedelics, seriously consider it before doing anything so extreme.

This also has helped me tremendously. I'm just careful on reccomending it here cause I've been modded talking about it.

bsp77 posted...

That sucks, man. But all you can do is move on. There are other women out there.

Yeah. It's hard, though - we were compatible in every single way except for this curveball that neither of us could control, and it was a relationship cancer that just hid in the background until it couldn't be ignored.

I've been on some dates and etc. in the meantime but they've been lame as fuck so far. I'm mostly just thinking about moving my career forward and doing some investing right now

apocalyptic_4 posted...

This also has helped me tremendously. I'm just careful on reccomending it here cause I've been modded talking about it.

Just about everyone should try them at some point in their life.

ToucheTurtle posted...

I'm 35 and in a zombie marriage that died 4 years ago stay single my friends.

You guys ever try to work it out? Marriage takes work.

I can feel you if the marriage sucks and you've done all you can.. And you get major trauma from it when it doesn't work out. But I hate hearing from men that it isn't worth being in a relationship.

pojr posted...

i don't have a lot of outlets. i would like to start dating, and especially make more friends, but i don't have many interests that involve women and others. and it does kind of frustrate me tbh.

where do people go when they want to socialize and meet new people? a bar. but i dont drink, so i don't feel comfortable going to a bar. i certainly could go, but i feel like a bar isn't really "me".

while i am involved in clubs and hobbies, they're all male-dominated. i love computer programming, gaming and video editing, most of which is very male-dominated. my interests in general are very male-dominated. i'll admit, i could try more activities and see if i like them, such as yoga or something. so in this sense, i blame myself. this doesn't just apply to dating, but i also really want to make friends too.

in general, i dont have many outlets or interests that involve women, and that is my biggest downfall. again, this isn't only about dating. i really want to make friends too.

Go where women go.

You really have to get outside your comfort zone.

Well I was depressed living at home with my mom working 2 jobs I hated to save up money to move out. Did this for 5 years working 65 hours a week hating my life. Dated a few girls in between and they all ended because of me and my miserable ass. Covid happened so that killed of my little social life so i went full introvert and got anxiety attacks. Lost a ton of money in the stock market and just about to quit or get fired from my FT job. Been on disability leave for a month but i used that time off to figure my life out.

Today is my first night in my new apartment now about to take a course in something I'm intrested in and I'm all in at this point. Decided to shoot my shot on tinder and I got a date for tomorrow. My point is I decided to make a change in my life to be happy, chasing that feeling is what attracts women it's passion and honesty. For once in the conversation I was intresting cause I was being honest about my situation and she found that charming.

Something I couldn't do in my old situation. I'm over 30 I'm just sharing my experience.

I still want to, I'm just not sure with who. Like, I'm ready to just settle, honestly.

I just feel empty without an emotionally intimate relationship. When the time comes when I outlive my parents (which is easily possible to happen in the next 10 years) and I don't have a meaningful emotionally intimate relationship with another human being I don't think I'm gonna make it.

lol this still here

apocalyptic_4 posted...

Well I was depressed living at home with my mom working 2 jobs I hated to save up money to move out. Did this for 5 years working 65 hours a week hating my life. Dated a few girls in between and they all ended because of me and my miserable ass. Covid happened so that killed of my little social life so i went full introvert and got anxiety attacks. Lost a ton of money in the stock market and just about to quit or get fired from my FT job. Been on disability leave for a month but i used that time off to figure my life out.

Today is my first night in my new apartment now about to take a course in something I'm intrested in and I'm all in at this point. Decided to shoot my shot on tinder and I got a date for tomorrow. My point is I decided to make a change in my life to be happy, chasing that feeling is what attracts women it's passion and honesty. For once in the conversation I was intresting cause I was being honest about my situation and she found that charming.

Something I couldn't do in my old situation. I'm over 30 I'm just sharing my experience.

Nice man. Sorry you went through all that. Yeah people are definitely attracted to others who are positive.

apocalyptic_4 posted...

This also has helped me tremendously. I'm just careful on reccomending it here cause I've been modded talking about it.

Yeah, it's the most practical thing I know to suggest. I get why people would ignore the idea, since on a surface level it might seem unrelated to dating, but so many of the problems in this thread are related to mental outlook and self-perception. When you think the same negative thoughts for so long, it's like walking across a lawn over and over, wearing down the grass to create a permanent dirt path, which your mind then reverts to by default. You need to shake things up, look at the world from a different angle, learn to take a new path, and that usually needs serious introspection. It's hard to do on your own. A trip can provide a push in a fresh direction.