Current Events > Has a female friend ever told you she was raped? How did you react?

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gunplagirl
09/22/22 3:35:50 AM
#51:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I wanted to tag you in this topic but I didn't want people to accuse me of calling for backup. Those people are currently warned.

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#52
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The_Wheelman1
09/22/22 8:12:29 PM
#53:


Had an ex girlfriend who almost had sex with her uncle when she was 10 but stopped when his wife came home early from work. He later apologized to her and he never tried it again.

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Lairen
09/22/22 8:17:25 PM
#54:


This topic doesnt seem like a good topic to be around.....

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Rharyx211
09/22/22 8:18:17 PM
#55:


gunplagirl posted...
I don't know a woman who hasn't at least been molested.
This.

I know multiple who've been raped. This is a disgustingly common thing.

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#56
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#57
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#58
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MrToothHasYou
09/22/22 9:24:19 PM
#59:


I can probably count on one hand the number of female friends I have who haven't told me about having been raped. Its genuinely horrifying. I just try my best to be comforting (without being patronizing) and let them know that I am sorry it happened to them and that whatever they are feeling or going through because of it is valid and okay, and that it is under absolutely no circumstances their fault, and that Im thankful that they were comfortable talking about it with me.

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Jiek_Fafn
09/22/22 9:25:43 PM
#60:


Yeah
A friend got drunk and confided in me about a past relationship where her boyfriend raped her pretty regularly. I was a weird combo of uncomfortable and angry but I kept it together. It was a story being told for her. It wasnt about me. I was just there to be supportive. Still it's tough not to freak out even though it was like 10 years before I even met her.

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refmon
09/22/22 9:27:24 PM
#61:


Gobstoppers12 posted...
Sunhawk topic to end all Sunhawk topics.


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Musictime777
09/22/22 11:06:27 PM
#62:


Yeah a girl I knew on phantasy star online episode 1 and gamecube.
Let's just say she didn't keep the baby. I miss her was a good friend miss you bubbles.

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ZangsBeard
09/22/22 11:11:09 PM
#63:


Sunhawk posted...
Wtf. What are you talking about, gunplagirl?

The truth? Ive known so many people whove been assaulted or raped.

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bsp77
09/22/22 11:11:37 PM
#64:


Nice (well, not "nice") to see the women here jump in. Fuck TC and others who question the prevalence. Mod me if you want, I don't fucking care.

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Gremlynn
09/22/22 11:12:01 PM
#65:


Yes, but it has been a long time as I don't really socialize as much these days.

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Evening_Dragon
09/22/22 11:12:35 PM
#66:


About half the girls I've ever been friends with, at least enough for them to open up to me about it, yeah. It's fucked up out there.

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ElatedVenusaur
09/22/22 11:46:15 PM
#68:


My girlfriend told me she was raped: she quite understandably didn't share any details, but she had gotten super tense, aggro, and dismissive when I said that being in the closet was profoundly traumatic for me, and sexual assault was the first thing she went to as "real" trauma.
She confided the above fact to me in part of her very lengthy, thorough, and heartfelt apology for being so dismissive of my experience, which had been very painful for me. Honestly the best, most sincere apology I had ever gotten. I think she just got on edge because she felt like I was cheapening her horrific experience, because she didn't understand at the time that trauma comes in all different forms. She demonstrated that she educated herself in her apology.

A different woman I knew was brave enough to talk about the time she was raped at a party in high school on social media, which was the start of an extremely dark period in her life.

Various other women have shared stories of men touching them inappropriately, invading their space, making sexual remarks, or otherwise creeping them out. One coworker happened to have a tattoo on her chest that was partially visible (the top part reached above a typical shirt collar), so one older dude got all up in her space, leaned in and said to her, "Hey baby, how about you show me the rest of that tattoo?"

And certainly, looking back, I realize my dumb closeted self crossed some lines I'm ashamed to have crossed. Never anything physical, but still...I am certain I made a few women feel very unsafe at times and will never not feel bad about that.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
09/22/22 11:47:40 PM
#69:


My wife was raped in her late teens. =/

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furb
09/22/22 11:49:04 PM
#70:


Yes. Out of respect to her, I won't say more other than I felt devastated in hearing her story.


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Jx1010
09/22/22 11:50:13 PM
#71:


The year is 2022

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#72
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Kakapo
09/23/22 12:01:58 AM
#73:


Its frighteningly common. Most women I know have been sexually assaulted at least once.

Hell, the one time I was sexually assaulted it was because the piece of shit thought I was a girl.

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Flockaveli
09/23/22 12:04:15 AM
#74:


Most women I know. Just listen to them.
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ElatedVenusaur
09/23/22 12:04:22 AM
#75:


Right...I went to an in-person trans group meeting once. The two older black women of the group talked about how they had been forced to resort to survival sex work after being outted and disowned by their families, so intense was the toxic cocktail of transphobia and racism in their youth. And, of course, they were both raped multiple times. Both are HIV+.

....Honestly, that entire experience shook me up pretty badly. And I was just listening.
I didn't go back. I was only three months into HRT and out to a grand total of 7 people at the time, and just generally a lot weaker and more fragile then. They meet on Thursdays, so even though I kind of want to reconnect with that community, it no longer works with my schedule.

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Gremlynn
09/23/22 12:14:15 AM
#76:


Flockaveli posted...
Most women I know. Just listen to them.

You gotta do a bit more than just listen. Like, it's not something that's likely to just get dropped at game night, or during water-cooler talk.

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Giblet_Enjoyer
09/23/22 4:28:15 PM
#77:


bsp77 posted...
Nice (well, not "nice") to see the women here jump in. Fuck TC and others who question the prevalence. Mod me if you want, I don't fucking care.
No need to question it, it's about 1 in 6.
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem
Not good at all but a far cry from the ubiquity claimed by several ITT

You won't get modded btw, lol


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#78
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Giblet_Enjoyer
09/23/22 5:07:42 PM
#79:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

The bolded parts of your proposition kind of work against each other, since if you don't live in such a community, the odds of you never having met one of the 6 is a lot higher.

But anyway, I was just referring to the people ITT claiming that every woman they know has been sexually assaulted. Just isn't likely or common

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DoDontTry
09/23/22 5:10:18 PM
#80:


gunplagirl posted...
I don't know a woman who hasn't at least been molested.

Yeah..... this seems off.
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Giblet_Enjoyer
09/23/22 5:15:16 PM
#81:


DoDontTry posted...
Yeah..... this seems off.
Read the other post by that user regarding their definition of molestation. Like I said earlier, by said definition, I've been molested several dozen times just in grade school by probably 5+ people.

I don't consider myself a sexual assault victim.

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CyricZ
09/23/22 5:19:58 PM
#82:


Giblet_Enjoyer posted...
The bolded parts of your proposition kind of work against each other, since if you don't live in such a community, the odds of you never having met one of the 6 is a lot higher.
No they don't.

It just skews the probability one way or another. Don't forget to include that you may know someone who has been raped who just... hasn't shared that with you.

Giblet_Enjoyer posted...
But anyway, I was just referring to the people ITT claiming that every woman they know has been sexually assaulted. Just isn't likely or common
Why would you make such a comment? What do you gain by pointing out the perceived unlikelihood?

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CyricZ He/him
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CyricZ
09/23/22 5:20:34 PM
#83:


"You don't hear me whining about it." is a hell of a take.

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ChocoboMogALT
09/23/22 5:21:05 PM
#84:


DoDontTry posted...
Yeah..... this seems off.
My mom, my wife, literally all of my female friends and most of my coworkers have at least been molested, if not raped. Most of them when they were under 12. And most of these people came from nice social backgrounds.
If you don't know it's because they haven't told you, not because it hasn't happened.

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#85
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DoDontTry
09/23/22 5:23:37 PM
#86:


Giblet_Enjoyer posted...
Read the other post by that user regarding their definition of molestation. Like I said earlier, by said definition, I've been molested several dozen times just in grade school by probably 5+ people.

I don't consider myself a sexual assault victim.

Oh okay, so they are just seeking attention like they usually do and their using the traumatic events of women they've allegedly met for it to boot.

Yikes.
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CyricZ
09/23/22 5:37:32 PM
#87:


DoDontTry posted...
Oh okay, so they are just seeking attention like they usually do and their using the traumatic events of women they've allegedly met for it to boot.

Yikes.
I'm curious how you intend to prove that whoever you're addressing is lying.

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CyricZ He/him
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CreekCo
09/23/22 5:49:57 PM
#88:


DoDontTry posted...
Oh okay, so they are just seeking attention like they usually do and their using the traumatic events of women they've allegedly met for it to boot.

Yikes.

This is the worst sort of trolling


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Giblet_Enjoyer
09/23/22 6:00:39 PM
#89:


CyricZ posted...
Don't forget to include that you may know someone who has been raped who just... hasn't shared that with you.
That's what we have statistics for, like the one I shared.

CyricZ posted...
Why would you make such a comment? What do you gain by pointing out the perceived unlikelihood?
You should really be asking what others have to gain by overstating the likelihood.

CyricZ posted...
"You don't hear me whining about it." is a hell of a take.
Ridiculous misrepresentation of what I said
I'm saying that a hell of a lot of things that ultimately have no effect on you psychologically can be considered molestation if you just define that as "uninvited touching"

Just to be clear about my experiences, I've had a girl grab and rub my chest, I've had one fall on top of me deliberately when I was on the ground, I've had a boy touch my butt deliberately (in a cheeky way), I've had like 2 or 3 boys do that thing kids used to do where you knee someone in the butt and say they just got "rhino humped". This was just up until 6th grade.

The fact is that I never felt so much as creeped out by any of those except for maybe third one.
Now, do women feel molested more often/easily because they biologically need to be wary, because they're more vulnerable? Or is it because they're told from an early age that boys only want one thing, etc. etc? Hard to say but either way, it skews the way we view female victimhood.

My point is just that these sort of events happening to me were nothingburgers because the framing was different from the start.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Those are both very good points tbf, I didn't consider the first thing. I actually was gonna touch on the second point (the reporting bias part) but I got sidetracked.

I guess all I can say is that others ITT should bear this in mind as well, too. When your experience is so wildly out of line with the best statistics on the subject that we have, it's probably not quite as bad as it seems from within your bubble.

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#90
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DoDontTry
09/23/22 6:08:07 PM
#91:


CyricZ posted...
I'm curious how you intend to prove that whoever you're addressing is lying.

For fuck's sake not every post from gunplagirl do you need to simp over
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CyricZ
09/23/22 6:18:58 PM
#92:


I'm not the one clowning around peoples' topics about rape and trans representation.

Fix your house, friend.

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DoDontTry
09/23/22 6:19:47 PM
#93:


CyricZ posted...
I'm not the one clowning around peoples' topics about rape and trans representation.

Fix your house, friend.

Fucking WHAT
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CyricZ
09/23/22 6:32:21 PM
#94:


DoDontTry posted...
Fucking WHAT
Quit. The. Clowning.

This topic didn't ask for your brand of sexual assault denial, and it's plainly obvious how much you're helping.

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DoDontTry
09/23/22 6:33:44 PM
#95:


CyricZ posted...
Quit. The. Clowning.

This topic didn't ask for your brand of sexual assault denial, and it's plainly obvious how much you're helping.

I'm denying sexual assaults now? Why? Because I don't believe 100% of all women get molested?
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#96
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DoDontTry
09/23/22 6:41:20 PM
#97:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


I agree and am aware of all of this.

That isn't 100% though.
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gunplagirl
09/23/22 6:43:13 PM
#98:


What are you trying to prove by nitpicking or misinterpreting what I said as saying every woman ever. Just, what the fuck makes you think that's a good idea? I marked your posts and have zero intention to engage you but feel free to make a wall of text yelling so I can mark that as well.

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CyricZ
09/23/22 6:47:32 PM
#99:


DoDontTry posted...
I'm denying sexual assaults now? Why?
That's what I'm wondering!

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DoDontTry
09/23/22 6:47:47 PM
#100:


gunplagirl not making a serious topic all about her challenge
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CyricZ
09/23/22 6:48:58 PM
#101:


DoDontTry posted...
gunplagirl not making a serious topic all about her challenge
None of this popped off until people went for her.

Congrats on contributing to that.

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