Current Events > Dennis Gets Fucked Over by His Tesla

(+) Yeah! (+)

www.jalopnik.com/dennis-from-always-sun ny-got-his-tesla-stuck-in-a-parki-1849682811/amp

Delete the space.

Obviously, yes, it's Glenn Howerton and not actually Dennis. Just funny that he'd get stuck in a Sunny-like situation in real life.

TL;DR: Glenn parks Tesla in underground parking garage. Car won't open back up. Uber home. Manage to get into car. Car won't start. Try to get car towed. Car won't let itself be towed. Eight and a half hour phone call to hear "I guess there's nothing we can do."

Yeah... The connectivity feature and being able to unlock and "start" the car with the app is cool, but I always keep the key fob with me. There have been a couple instances of server outages that prevent the app from connecting to the car. And yeah, when you're in an underground parking lot, connectivity is gonna be a struggle at best.

Anybody who buys a Tesla now is a total blockhead.

Now that the actual luxury brands are making electric cars, theres absolutely zero reason to buy a Tesla short of being an Elon shill.

electricbugs2 posted...

Anybody who buys a Tesla now is a total blockhead.

Now that the actual luxury brands are making electric cars, theres absolutely zero reason to buy a Tesla short of being an Elon shill.

Eh, Tesla still has the best charging infrastructure out of all of the EV manufacturers by far. Tesla needs to pick up the pace of building more supercharger stations in many areas, but there are definitely reasons to buy Tesla over other EVs.

CableZL posted...

Eh, Tesla still has the best charging infrastructure out of all of the EV manufacturers by far. Tesla needs to pick up the pace of building more supercharger stations in many areas, but there are definitely reasons to buy Tesla over other EVs.

Unless you live in Bumblescum Arkansas, theres enough regular EV stations now that buying a Tesla in the year 2022 is still pointless.

Not to mention the cars themselves are way behind the competition. An old coworker had a Model 3 performance. Could not believe how shit the interior was on a 75 large car.

They dont even have the fastest acceleration for an electric card to pull anymore. The Taycan is faster than a Model S.

There's a set of connectors behind the front bumper to boost with a 12v battery.
Usually there's a cover you can remove for access.

Overall, Teslas are shit cars.

lmao teslas. stay losing

electricbugs2 posted...

Unless you live in Bumblescum Arkansas, theres enough regular EV stations now that buying a Tesla in the year 2022 is still pointless.

Not to mention the cars themselves are way behind the competition. An old coworker had a Model 3 performance. Could not believe how s*** the interior was on a 75 large car.

They dont even have the fastest acceleration for an electric card to pull anymore. The Taycan is faster than a Model S.

Yeah, but the problem with regular EV charging stations is the reliability. It's a pretty well known experience for people with other EVs to navigate to charging stations with no working stalls. Then you have to hope you have enough range to get to the next nearest charging station and hope those work.

The way Tesla handles this with superchargers is when you're navigating to a supercharger station, the map shows all supercharger stations near you and a number of available stalls at each one, according to the time the car pulled the data. If there are no available stalls, the symbol is gray and has a clock symbol. If a particular stall doesn't work (someone plugs their car into the stall and some charging error happens), the error is reported to Tesla automatically and Tesla sends an electrician to repair it.

Tesla is definitely behind other EV manufacturers in interior quality, but other EV manufacturers haven't caught up to Tesla in terms of the technology suite just yet.

Elon just pissed off the Golden God...

How does a car not let itself be towed?

CableZL posted...

Yeah, but the problem with regular EV charging stations is the reliability. It's a pretty well known experience for people with other EVs to navigate to charging stations with no working stalls. Then you have to hope you have enough range to get to the next nearest charging station and hope those work.

The way Tesla handles this with superchargers is when you're navigating to a supercharger station, the map shows all supercharger stations near you and a number of available stalls at each one, according to the time the car pulled the data. If there are no available stalls, the symbol is gray and has a clock symbol. If a particular stall doesn't work (someone plugs their car into the stall and some charging error happens), the error is reported to Tesla automatically and Tesla sends an electrician to repair it.

Tesla is definitely behind other EV manufacturers in interior quality, but other EV manufacturers haven't caught up to Tesla in terms of the technology suite just yet.

I still think it depends on where you live. I live in a city with around 100 k people. There are charging stations everywhere. My condo complex has six, every mall in the city has a bunch of them and so on.

Disagree on the tech not being up to par. Sure the Tesla has some neat party tricks in the infotainment system and the automated driving, but Cadillac super cruise shits all over the Teslas self driving, and Mercedes MBUX on the EQS, EQB etc is way ahead of where Tesla is at now.

And most importantly, the other brands just make better looking cars. They finally realized that people dont want their electric cars to look like a marshmallow, they just want it to look like a normal car except electric.

NinjaWarrior455 posted...

How does a car not let itself be towed?

Teslas have a "tow mode", apparently. If you can't put it in that mode, it isn't towable.

Also, anyone else ever notice that GameFAQs alternates between censoring and not censoring obscenities in topic post notifications?

NinjaWarrior455 posted...

How does a car not let itself be towed?

Apparently if you tow a Tesla while it is not in "tow mode" it will just straight destroy the battery and other shit or something.

electricbugs2 posted...

I still think it depends on where you live. I live in a city with around 100 k people. There are charging stations everywhere. My condo complex has six, every mall in the city has a bunch of them and so on.

Disagree on the tech not being up to par. Sure the Tesla has some neat party tricks in the infotainment system and the automated driving, but Cadillac super cruise s***s all over the Teslas self driving, and Mercedes MBUX on the EQS, EQB etc is way ahead of where Tesla is at now.

And most importantly, the other brands just make better looking cars. They finally realized that people dont want their electric cars to look like a marshmallow, they just want it to look like a normal car except electric.

Again, the number of charging stations isn't the problem with regular EV chargers. The reliability of them is a known issue.

Cadillac's Super Cruise is better in some ways, especially how it handles what he driver needs to do, but the fact that it relies on pre-mapped roads is a pretty big drawback until they have every road mapped. And even then, if new roads are added, Cadillac drivers will need to wait until Cadillac actually maps it before Super Cruise will work on them. No system is going to be perfect any time soon, but Tesla's navigate on autopilot doesn't need a road to be pre-mapped.

And whether a car is better looking or not is purely subjective. Personally, I'm not a fan of the look of the Model 3 or Y, but the S looks awesome, and the X is OK.

Heartomaton posted...

Teslas have a "tow mode", apparently. If you can't put it in that mode, it isn't towable.

Specifically, tow mode is for pulling the car onto a flatbed, which is the only recommended method to tow a Tesla. It can be towed in tow mode on two wheels, but there's still that risk of damaging the car since the battery is so heavy and it's on the bottom.

electricbugs2 posted...

Anybody who buys a Tesla now is a total blockhead.

Now that the actual luxury brands are making electric cars, theres absolutely zero reason to buy a Tesla short of being an Elon shill.

This

CableZL posted...

Again, the number of charging stations isn't the problem with regular EV chargers. The reliability of them is a known issue.

Cadillac's Super Cruise is better in some ways, especially how it handles what he driver needs to do, but the fact that it relies on pre-mapped roads is a pretty big drawback until they have every road mapped. And even then, if new roads are added, Cadillac drivers will need to wait until Cadillac actually maps it before Super Cruise will work on them. No system is going to be perfect any time soon, but Tesla's navigate on autopilot doesn't need a road to be pre-mapped.

And whether a car is better looking or not is purely subjective. Personally, I'm not a fan of the look of the Model 3 or Y, but the S looks awesome, and the X is OK.

Fair enough, I dont know enough about the generic chargers to argue. Agree to disagree on Autopilot VS Super Cruise

I will concede the Model S looks nice at a glance, but again, the problem is the quality compared to its competition. If someone handed me 300K for a luxury electric car, I would take the Taycan, E-Tron GT or EQS every time over the Model S for the price point.

Compare the EQS (biggest competition for the Model S) interior to the S and its night and day. The EQS literally looks (and sounds) like George Jetsons car if it was on the ground. The Model S, not so much.

That car was a finisher car!

electricbugs2 posted...

Agree to disagree on Autopilot VS Super Cruise

You don't seem to have much more of a point with Autopilot vs Super Cruise. I literally said Super Cruise is better with the driver requirements, but not requiring mapped roads is objectively better than requiring mapped roads. Super Cruise is better in some ways and Autopilot is better in other ways.

electricbugs2 posted...

The EQS literally looks (and sounds) like George Jetsons car if it was on the ground.

I'm not sure what it sounds like but the Mercedes EQS interior doesn't look like George Jetson's car at all. Not sure where you're getting that from.