Current Events > I'm a trans CEgal, ask me anything!

(+) Yeah! (+)

DarkRoast posted...

When you're with the right one, it hits you at some point. I spent my whole life dating guys and only dated my wife just to experiment. But she's so beautiful, smart, perfect.... Before I even called myself a lesbian I accepted her proposal.

I screamed yes without even letting her finish her proposal. This was before anyone even knew I was lesbian.

She's still literally and un-ironically the hottest girl I've ever met

I've been talking to this woman since just over two weeks after I came out. I came out January 1st, I messaged her on Hinge January 15th, and she responded January 17th. Like, she's been an absolutely critical component in this formative year. I literally wouldn't be who I was without her.

All the friends and family that have met her love her and our entire vibe.

I remember, after she made her first appearance at a family party, my Mom asks, "So, are you two just friends?"
And I got to smile all smug-like and say, "Nah, we're dating."

It must have been around that time I was freaking out about something (probably school) and she talked me through it and sent me this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbLVTZWRou8

And I fucking messy-cried like the bitch that I am. I realized that this was getting to be serious, and one line has stuck with me ever since: "I think you're all I've been waiting for."

Fun fact! The singer is Roz Raskin, a sapphic enby who once fronted for a forgettable punkish band (Roz and the Rice Cakes. My girlfriend saw them, thought they were thoroughly meh, but bought a shirt because the shirts were cool. Did not realize NOVA ONE was the same singer). Now they sing slow '60s-style songs in drag, and it's def their thing! They're the second (third or fourth, technically) musician to comment on a comment I made, even!

EV, shes the one girl

ElatedVenusaur posted...

I love the visceral experience of having them. You just can't forget that they're there. Every gentle bob and sway reminds me that I have boobs, and that makes me happy.

Makes me excited to finally have an appointment with a doctor to discuss HRT coming up. Though I'm pretty terrified that they will find some reason I won't actually be able to go on it..

I have fucking B cups. Make sure you get bigger ones.

DarkRoast posted...

I have fucking B cups. Make sure you get bigger ones.

I still remember how disappointed I felt in college when the girls in our dorm were going around and measuring the guys chests and making up what breast size they would have had if they were a girl and they decided that I would have an A cup.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

I skipped Sword/Shield entirely.

What made you skip it? I logged in over 100 hours over the summer. It's a great game.

I liked them being small when I was a male. Now it just means Im flat is justice girl.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I think it's more that being a girl/woman, both physically and socially, is a cis woman's entire experience, so it's just kind of the way things are, you know? Everything is as it should be (more or less), so there's no real need to think deep on it or notice little things like that. But a trans woman was assigned male and (most of us, anyway) go through masculine puberty, and so when we finally get onto the right path, we get super excited over every little detail.

Trans men are absolutely the same way about masculinizing puberty. Like, we just pay a fuckton of attention to the process. But I do think cis people can definitely get some vicarious joy from us, because they get to see their own gender and bodies through the eyes of someone experiencing those changes and shifts for the first time. Certainly my girlfriend seemed to have fun doing my makeup the two times.

And also yelled at me the first time for not having mascara. The woman's futch, but she's a licensed aesthetician. It completes the look, she says. I still can't apply it for beans.

DarkRoast posted...

I have fucking B cups. Make sure you get bigger ones.

I honestly don't think I would ever get breast enhancement. Honestly, these things are already over the minimum bar for me. And it'll be at least another 3-4+ years before things slow down, though it's not impossible to see breast growth even outside the 5 year window wherein most major changes occur.

googs19 posted...

I still remember how disappointed I felt in college when the girls in our dorm were going around and measuring the guys chests and making up what breast size they would have had if they were a girl and they decided that I would have an A cup.

Hahaha, I have two stories like that from college, actually.

I remember freshman year I blurted out that I would like to be a woman for a day, and one of my friends said she would like to be a man for a day. Oddly, she doesn't seem to be trans, despite having a somewhat masculine presentation. Though one of my college friends who was present at that exchange was also an egg (and preceded me on this path).

Senior year, then-egg friend's (they're a femme genderfluid enby) dorm had a whiteboard, and it posed a (coincidentally) similar question, so I again gave the same answer. Enby friend's SO (who was also an egg: they hatched into a masc enby!) read this and commented aloud, "Aww, EV wishes (s)he had boobies!"

SomeLikeItHoth posted...

What made you skip it? I logged in over 100 hours over the summer. It's a great game.

I didn't like the looks, I didn't like Dexit, Dynamax seemed dumb, and I also just haven't had a ton of money to spend on games.

Maybe Ill tell another little story.

My girlfriend has a mast cell disorder*, so shes immunocompromised and even a minor illness would make her miserable, so if I have so much as a cold, I cant see her. And I had a cold, two weeks ago, but she would check up on me via text: she was especially invested in me putting ginger and turmeric in my tea, and would want me to send her pics of my tea.

One night, she pestered me for pics of my dinner, but it was hours after I had eaten, so I snapped a pic of the water bottle I was drinking and said: There, theres the water Im drinking, you Dommy Mommy you!

And she responded: Oh well, Im glad you showed me something!!!! You little sub you

At that point, I burst out laughing so hard I could barely breathe, but I managed to text back: Oh God, am I bratty sub!?

Oooh, I like how you threw that bratty descriptor in there.

At which point I accused her of attempted murder.

* I forget which one, but its not the lethal one they thought she had initially.

If you needed to secure a Civilization win condition to retire what would you pick?

MedeaLysistrata posted...

If you needed to secure a Civilization win condition to retire what would you pick?

Science. I'm too lazy to do Conquest/Domination, but I love to tech.

Probably I would just get bored halfway and start a new game though.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Maybe Ill tell another little story.

My girlfriend has a mast cell disorder*, so shes immunocompromised and even a minor illness would make her miserable, so if I have so much as a cold, I cant see her. And I had a cold, two weeks ago, but she would check up on me via text: she was especially invested in me putting ginger and turmeric in my tea, and would want me to send her pics of my tea.

One night, she pestered me for pics of my dinner, but it was hours after I had eaten, so I snapped a pic of the water bottle I was drinking and said: There, theres the water Im drinking, you Dommy Mommy you!

And she responded: Oh well, Im glad you showed me something!!!! You little sub you

At that point, I burst out laughing so hard I could barely breathe, but I managed to text back: Oh God, am I bratty sub!?

Oooh, I like how you threw that bratty descriptor in there.

At which point I accused her of attempted murder.

* I forget which one, but its not the lethal one they thought she had initially.

You are both adorable.

is the gender spectrum a closed question, and has it been answered? do you have a favorite doctrine explaining it?

MedeaLysistrata posted...

is the gender spectrum a closed question, and has it been answered? do you have a favorite doctrine explaining it?

https://www.florenceashley.com/uploads /1/2/4/4/124439164/ashley_trans_is_my_gender_modality.pdf

I like this short piece by Florence Ashley, proposing a new term: gender modality. Basically, your relation to gender in relation to your assigned gender. She proposes that it is a more variable and accurate way to conceptualize things than binaries (i.e. "man or woman" and "cis or trans") that don't fit non-binary people well and don't fit intersex and agender people at all.

Really though, I have little interest in discussing such things though, as it is almost inevitably hijacked by bad faith actors.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

https://www.florenceashley.com/uploads /1/2/4/4/124439164/ashley_trans_is_my_gender_modality.pdf

I like this short piece by Florence Ashley, proposing a new term: gender modality. Basically, your relation to gender in relation to your assigned gender. She proposes that it is a more variable and accurate way to conceptualize things than binaries (i.e. "man or woman" and "cis or trans") that don't fit non-binary people well and don't fit intersex and agender people at all.

Really though, I have little interest in discussing such things though, as it is almost inevitably hijacked by bad faith actors.

thanks for sharing that. sometimes for me I think that racialized thinking is the horizon of my experiences in some situations, they are usually very conspicuous situations but it's weird how something that can be the horizon of one person's experience, and then just another point of convention for someone else. idk.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

An important note: it's trans women, because trans is an adjective.

Is 148 pictures of only the AZ SR 64 portion of the Grand Canyon too many?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It's a minor thing, I know, but it's something trans exclusionists do to imply that trans women aren't the same as (cis) women.

samsungsalt posted...

Is 148 pictures of only the AZ SR 64 portion of the Grand Canyon too many?

It's the Grand Canyon, can you ever take enough pictures of it?
I wouldn't know, I've never seen it in person.

What's your preferred HRT regimen? I recently switched from sublingual pills twice a day to subcutaneous injections once a week. Not having to let a pill dissolve twice a day is pretty liberating imo

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I visited my friend (the femme enby one mentioned prior) out in Oregon in August of 2021. I had been on hormones for about a month and a half at that point, and was out to a grand total of 3 people back home (4, counting them), and we went to Eugene Pride, which was a beautiful yet overwhelming experience. I painted my fingernails, wore a "My pronouns are she/her", and walked around in my boy clothes and "denial 'stache" (enby friend's appellation, not mine). It was the first time I got to be me, just living with a bunch of queers.

We also did fun stuff, like hike a lot (including down the Hobbit Trail to Hobbit Beach, probably the most spectacularly beautiful beach I've ever seen) and we went to one of the area's largest breweries, Ninkasi, and had a fun time. I think that evening was the first time I noticed I wasn't quite handling my alcohol as well as I used to lol.

The night before I had to go brought home how differently I was processing my emotions: I literally cried myself to sleep, and then cried some more driving up I-5 to PDX. But it really helped give me clarity and helped to see how things *could* be.

...You know what, if I'm not completely wrecked after work tonight, I should share a few pics. I got some really good ones.

Gwynevere posted...

What's your preferred HRT regimen? I recently switched from sublingual pills twice a day to subcutaneous injections once a week. Not having to let a pill dissolve twice a day is pretty liberating imo

I started that way too. Then they shunted part of my dosage onto patches because my estrone levels were high, but I wasn't quite out yet, so I was still getting my shit from CVS and good fucking God CVS is terrible about giving things in the correct amounts: I basically never had enough patches, and they screwed up my prog several times. Luckily, my clinic runs its own pharmacy, so I get my stuff shipped now.

And I switched to injecting, because I was sick of playing with the pills and the patches. It really is the best way to do it, IMO. Like you said, it's just convenient. I have a weekly reminder on my phone (though I didn't forget the one time it didn't trigger for whatever reason) and it's pretty quick and easy.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

I started that way too. Then they shunted part of my dosage onto patches because my estrone levels were high, but I wasn't quite out yet, so I was still getting my shit from CVS and good fucking God CVS is terrible about giving things in the correct amounts: I basically never had enough patches, and they screwed up my prog several times. Luckily, my clinic runs its own pharmacy, so I get my stuff shipped now.

And I switched to injecting, because I was sick of playing with the pills and the patches. It really is the best way to do it, IMO. Like you said, it's just convenient. I have a weekly reminder on my phone (though I didn't forget the one time it didn't trigger for whatever reason) and it's pretty quick and easy.

Ah yeah, retail pharmacies are pretty hit or miss. I get mine through walmart and the injection supplies I got were a complete mess, a bunch of preassembled 3ml syringes and needles, some 18g, some 21g. 3ml seems like too much when I'm only doing 0.5ml per shot, and 18g seems too intimidating to inject with, so I just bought a box of 1ml syringes and a 23g needles and called it a day lol.

I said I would post Oregon pics, but they're all waaaaay over this dumb website's stupid low image size limit. Sorry....

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/2/5/AAIAInAAD5-1.jpg
Have a recent selfie as an apology.

How much do you love me and why?

Yefoloogi posted...

How much do you love me and why?

You're a sweetheart, a total babe, and gave me knowledge I would never have uncovered myself: clean dick tastes like avocado!

https://twitter.com/KatyMontgomerie/status/1596877408409292800
Something to consider.

If there's anything I've learned recently, it's that gender is a very, very deeply entrenched identity. And things do NOT go well when you're suddenly thrust into another gender role.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/1/7/AAA7ArAAD4zt.jpg

Me and the girlfriend just straight-up talking about what we would wear at our wedding this morning.
I said she would look hot in a a tux - probably olive or sage.
She put out lavender for my dress, lol, were such sappy sapphics, it sickens me!

I also got a little puffer jacket. Its red and has a fur-lined hood and the sleeves even partially shield my hands! Got a few new tops too.

Hell yeah, do it.

DarkRoast posted...

Hell yeah, do it.

Oh, itll be a few years probably. After she gets her inheritance and/or after I graduate grad school, so we can actually afford to live together.

She cant really work right now and my paycheck is paltry, to say the least. Plus I doubt her reservations with regard to her health are (fully) resolved.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Oh, itll be a few years probably. After she gets her inheritance and/or after I graduate grad school, so we can actually afford to live together.

She cant really work right now and my paycheck is paltry, to say the least. Plus I doubt her reservations with regard to her health are (fully) resolved.

Speaking from personal experience and especially in the transgender space - finding a soulmate is exceedingly rare. If you like her, definitely at least get engaged. My wife was willing to marry me despite me presenting as male. And she was happy to have me transition back. I don't know anyone else who would've been that accomodating. I didn't even think for a second about saying yes when she asked.

DarkRoast posted...

Speaking from personal experience and especially in the transgender space - finding a soulmate is exceedingly rare. If you like her, definitely at least get engaged. My wife was willing to marry me despite me presenting as male. And she was happy to have me transition back. I don't know anyone else who would've been that accomodating. I didn't even think for a second about saying yes when she asked.

Yeah, I remember back in February when my femme enby friend was visiting and I was still messaging with the now-girlfriend on Hinge. We were just chilling watching TV and I checked my Hinge messages, and heres that woman telling my 6-months-on-HRT-ass that Im a sexy lady, and my friend looks over because Im acting all weird and I just show them the message and they chuckle and go, Oh wow.

I aint letting this woman go. Only death shall do us part.

Own it, girl. You deserve each other. Put a damn ring on her finger now. You can be engaged for years.

I'll never forget losing my absolute shit when my wife knelt down and proposed. It was in a crowded outdoor park / garden. I wore that ring as if taking it off would kill me.

Im not worried. Were going to be partners when the time is right and were transparent about everything.

Ill finally get to see her again this week.

Edit: I have an enby coworker in my department who looks classically beautiful in a femme way but doesnt feel femme at all. Theyre very noticeably neurodivergent too. We get along super well and work great together, and I love them. Like, platonically. I dont think theyre femme enough for me and Im not masc enough for them, but we talk a lot about our SOs together and just in general.

No more questions? I'll probably let this die if so, but I am having fun chatting with ya'll.