Poll of the Day > Not the Onion 2023 edition - silly news and bungery

(+) Yeah! (+)

Revelation34 posted...

She's not going to win the lawsuit. The Supreme Court rules that cops don't have to protect anybody.

might win on the grounds of the cops preventing others from protecting

Elon Musk Welcomes Child Sex Abuse Imagery Poster Back to Twitter

https://www.vice.com/en/article/xgwa7z/twitter-elon-musk-dom-lucre-child-sexual-abuse

Hopefully he's being metaphorical

https://www.newsweek.com/ron-desantis-vows-start-slitting-throats-first-day-presidency-1817183

Dude, water

https://www.wweek.com/news/2023/08/09/trees-planted-by-the-city-in-east-portland-two-years-ago-are-dead-because-the-city-didnt-water-them/

https://www.denver7.com/news/local-news/instructor-crashes-car-into-lakewood-driving-school

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/8/0/AAOrNoAAEvY4.jpg

In this case, as great as the headline is, the picture is the star of the story

Evangelicals Are Now Rejecting 'Liberal' Teachings of Jesus

https://www.newsweek.com/evangelicals-rejecting-jesus-teachings-liberal-talking-points-pastor-1818706

If your social security number is odd... you're fired!

https://nypost.com/2023/11/13/news/vivek-ramaswamy-vows-to-fire-federal-workers-based-on-social-security-numbers-nothing-will-break/

Republican presidential hopeful Vivek Ramaswamy unveiled his plan to drastically cut the the size of the federal government over the weekend announcing he would fire workers based on their Social Security numbers.

In a post on X Sunday, Ramaswamy said that if he were elected the next commander-in-chief of the United States, he would instantly fire 50% of federal bureaucrats.

Heres how: if your [Social Security number] ends in an odd number, youre fired, he wrote.

That downsizes government by half. Absolutely *nothing* will break as a result, Ramaswamy claimed.

That's beyond dumb for several reasons, least of which:

• There's no way that he currently knows the SS numbers of employees or how they're dispersed (even vs odd). There could, by mere chance, be a disproportionate number of one vs the other

• There's no way for him to currently know the roles these people play in their departments. This "plan" could see people vital to federal operations get the axe simply because of their SS#? What kind of leadership is that?

He's clearly not running a legitimate candidacy and is only running to boost his own brand/get some notoriety. Sadly, many red hats don't take issue with dumbass proposals like this and would vote for this clown just to "own the libs"

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/politics/2023/11/29/ohio-supreme-court-suspends-attorney-over-dropping-poop-filled-can/71739810007/

Hospital worker who had sex with more than 100 corpses over 15 years went undetected due to serious 'failures'

https://www.foxnews.com/world/hospital-worker-sex-more-100-corpses-15-years-undetected-serious-failures

Arizona officials flubbed the election in Republicans favour and they still lost

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/nov/29/arizona-officials-charged-election-2022

"Gay Furry Hackers" Breached a Nuclear Lab to Demand Catgirl Research

https://www.them.us/story/gay-furry-hackers-breached-nuclear-lab-catgirl-research-demand

Panera Breads Charged Lemonade blamed for a second death, lawsuit alleges

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/panera-breads-charged-lemonade-blamed-second-death-lawsuit-alleges-rcna128036

AI threatens to automate away the clergy

https://www.theregister.com/2023/11/29/ai_clergy/

> Senator hires an indicted and ousted representative to troll an indicted senator

https://www.npr.org/2023/12/05/1217314425/fetterman-hires-santos-to-roll-menendez-over-ethics

Lokarin posted...

A man drowned as Tennessee police watched for 13 minutes, lawsuit says

-Private citizens wanted to help the man, but officers allegedly warned them not to do so

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/07/28/knoxville-police-drowning-lawsuit/

WOnder what minor slap on the wrist the police will be given.

Pee is stored in the lungs

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/197623#1

The Alabama Prison System

https://www.alreporter.com/2023/12/08/family-incarcerated-loved-ones-body-returned-without-a-heart-decomposing/

And the Albertan medical system

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/alberta-naturopath-adriana-lagrange-rob-roth-primary-care-1.7049522

Lokarin posted...

"Gay Furry Hackers" Breached a Nuclear Lab to Demand Catgirl Research

https://www.them.us/story/gay-furry-hackers-breached-nuclear-lab-catgirl-research-demand

LMAO.

EchoBaz posted...

WOnder what minor slap on the wrist the police will be given.

The same as usual. The Supreme Court ruled that cops don't have to to protect or save anyone.

The 2nd ammendment is that the right to bear arms won't be infringed... it's not in and of itself a right to bear arms, only that the already existing right won't be infringed.

That tacitly implies all other rights can be infringed!

...

also guns lol

https://healthimaging.com/topics/medical-imaging/magnetic-resonance-imaging-mri/mri-accident-woman-gun-shot-fda-report

Lokarin posted...

The 2nd ammendment is that the right to bear arms won't be infringed... it's not in and of itself a right to bear arms, only that the already existing right won't be infringed.

That tacitly implies all other rights can be infringed!

...

also guns lol

https://healthimaging.com/topics/medical-imaging/magnetic-resonance-imaging-mri/mri-accident-woman-gun-shot-fda-report

The right to a pair of bear arms.

Marjorie Taylor Greene (brain slurry) complaining that capitalism works

https://www.meidastouch.com/news/its-not-right-marjorie-taylor-greene-attacks-creation-of-high-paying-jobs-in-her-district

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/12/manufacturer-deliberately-bricked-trains-repaired-by-competitors-hackers-find/

Trains were designed to break down after third-party repairs, hackers find

The train manufacturer accused the hackers of slander.

Top comment:

> Hacking IT systems is a violation of many legal provisions and a threat to railway traffic safety, Newag said
"We categorically deny and negate Newag's uploading of any functionality in vehicle control systems that limits or prevents the proper operation of vehicles, as well as limiting the group of entities that can provide maintenance or repair services," Newag's statement said
"The president of Newag contacted me," Cieszyski wrote. "He claims that Newag fell victim to cybercriminals and it was not an intentional action by the company.

> They went from "You can't look at that, we'll sue !" to "It's not true !" to "We were hacked !" faster than a bricked train, that's for sure...

Can't believe it's been almost a whole year of ass

...

Murder conviction of Chicago man who spent 12 years behind bars overturned because key eyewitness was legally blind

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/murder-conviction-chicago-man-spent-10-years-bars-overturned-key-eyewi-rcna128875

The witness was allegedly suffering from advanced glaucoma at the time of the crime, severely limiting visibility. Surveillance video from the scene also revealed the eyewitness was much farther away than he initially claimed to be, according to the Exoneration Project.

Lokarin posted...

Can't believe it's been almost a whole year of ass

...

Murder conviction of Chicago man who spent 12 years behind bars overturned because key eyewitness was legally blind

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/murder-conviction-chicago-man-spent-10-years-bars-overturned-key-eyewi-rcna128875

The witness was allegedly suffering from advanced glaucoma at the time of the crime, severely limiting visibility. Surveillance video from the scene also revealed the eyewitness was much farther away than he initially claimed to be, according to the Exoneration Project.

Jesus!

Seriously, do not talk to the cops! They just want to screw you over, especially if you're a POC.

Also, keep in mind, POC includes anyone that's not white.

EchoBaz posted...

Jesus!

Seriously, do not talk to the cops! They just want to screw you over, especially if you're a POC.

Also, keep in mind, POC includes anyone that's not white.

In my experience Hispanics don't get too hard of a time. Atvleast I ain't seen it and I ain't heard one bitch about it. At the very least it doesn't seem to be to the level black people deal with.

Knew a guy who woulda been fucked if the cops wanted to harass him. He was a complete dumb ass. Illegal/undocumented no license plates and mean none on the van not simply expired. And always drove around smoking a blunt.

I honestly don't know how he got away with it cause he did it for years.

Sufferedphoenix posted...

In my experience Hispanics don't get too hard of a time.

That's your anecdotal evidence. There's been actual studies on this shit.

EchoBaz posted...

That's your anecdotal evidence. There's been actual studies on this shit.

I admitted that already. Does vary place by place though. I grew up in a heavily Hispanic town

It's not a footrace but wth latinx get a really hard time at least in Canada >_>

Sufferedphoenix posted...

I admitted that already.

Alright, my bad.

Sufferedphoenix posted...

Does vary place by place though. I grew up in a heavily Hispanic town

gotcha.

https://www.fox13news.com/news/alabama-man-high-on-mushrooms-arrested-with-parrot-on-shoulder-after-fighting-with-florida-deputies-wcso

https://www.riverfronttimes.com/news/st-louis-police-file-felony-charge-against-bar-pm-owner-after-suv-crash-41472853

St. Louis Police File Felony Charge Against Bar:PM Owner After SUV Crash

Co-owner Chad Morris now faces a charge of felony assault on an officer

...

Top Comment: "I ordered the bar to step out of the way as I approached in my vehicle. The offender was non-compliant refusing to obey my lawful instruction. I then utilized vehicular force to enforce compliance from the wall. Upon apprehending the structure I then arrested the accomplices inside."

EchoBaz posted...

Alright, my bad.

gotcha.

It's cool.

Anecdotal evidence is what most people are gonna jump to. And I do think it does have some value. Not everything is the same everywhere.

I might be more prone to thinking mine holds more weight though cause I've lived all over up and down a few states. But I do realize that I don't see and hear about everything.

If we go my anecdotal evidence then all Sikh men are adorable cuties

Are your welfare funds in good hands? Trust Ghana Gold

https://mississippitoday.org/2023/12/19/welfare-funds-ghana-scam-prevacus/

Mississippi welfare funds wound up in a Ghanaian gold bar hoax, court filing alleges

> Text messages obtained by Mississippi Today and an aggressive new court filing from a key welfare scandal defendant chronicle how funds intended to help Mississippis poorest residents may have ended up in the hands of a Ghanaian scammer. The movie-like alleged scheme involves thousands in welfare funds that were never returned, a purported sale of gold bars, and a scientists threats to involve the FBI and former Gov. Phil Bryant.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cat-video-space-taters-nasa-laser/

tfw aliens don't invade Earth because of our sick cat memes.

Restricted military intel posted on the War Thunder forums for the 9th time this year

https://www.eurogamer.net/war-thunder-players-leak-military-documents-on-forums-again

"Armed robbers foiled when their stolen car is stolen from them mid-heist"

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-67752007

streamofthesky posted...

"Armed robbers foiled when their stolen car is stolen from them mid-heist"

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-67752007

One woman asked if this was from Grand Theft Auto, with a laughing emoji.

That was my first thought. Like I am pretty sure I have done something similar when hunting cars for the garage missions.

Lokarin posted...

Restricted military intel posted on the War Thunder forums for the 9th time this year

https://www.eurogamer.net/war-thunder-players-leak-military-documents-on-forums-again

hehehe, oh god!

Police raid home, steal $300k from a safe, torment the family, accidentally burn their house down and then throw a pizza party

https://www.newsweek.com/weed-farmer-outraged-lawsuit-cops-pizza-party-after-raid-1854657

Lokarin posted...

Police raid home, steal $300k from a safe, torment the family, accidentally burn their house down and then throw a pizza party

https://www.newsweek.com/weed-farmer-outraged-lawsuit-cops-pizza-party-after-raid-1854657

God this sucks. Since it's California I immediately think that It was probably from an all police gang, and they probably do this kind of shit all the time. Wonder how many underage sex workers the sheriff has SA and killed.

I been making the joke that police are like medieval knights... can't you just easily imagine a band of knights doing things like raiding homes and killing randoms?

Lokarin posted...

I been making the joke that police are like medieval knights... can't you just easily imagine a band of knights doing things like raiding homes and killing randoms?

They're even more currupt than medieval knights. There weren't actual laws to stop the medieval knights from SAing children, cops just get away with it.

Trump smells

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-odor-adam-kinzinger-b2468213.html

Plot of Temple of Doom completely upended

https://inshort.geartape.com/sacred-stones-worshipped-for-generations-in-india-turn-out-to-be-dinosaur-eggs/