Current Events > The lazy river is my favorite thing at any waterpark.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Unless that waterpark doesn't have a lazy river.

In which case, fuck that waterpark.

Nothing like going out on lazy river, falling asleep waking up and be like fuck

I like lazy rivers that run through the park so you can use them to travel to different areas. Ones that are basically just shoved off in a corner are bleh.

Irony posted...

Nothing like going out on lazy river, falling asleep waking up and be like fuck

Waking up in a different place than you fell asleep is scary, but lazy rivers make it fun!

uwnim posted...

I like lazy rivers that run through the park so you can use them to travel to different areas. Ones that are basically just shoved off in a corner are bleh.

I love the one at Schlitterbahn near New Braunfels, TX. It goes to every corner of the park!

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Sounds like a real waste of a ticket price. I'd have been pissed too.

Action Rivers are the new lazy rivers. They move faster and they also provide great travel throughout the parks. Also you arent required to have a tube for them.

Zanzenburger posted...

Action Rivers are the new lazy rivers

You can ride that faster current the fuck on out of here.

ive never been to a lazy river
the largest water park i ever went to was the one in west edmonton mall on a school field trip

i only know what a lazy river is due to the family guy joke

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNpOni_RnRs

It's my least favorite. I can sit at home with the added benefit of no sun beating down on me.

Why go to a water park for that instead pf an actual river tho? Is it cause where you live?

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Why go to a water park for that instead pf an actual river tho? Is it cause where you live?

Real rivers are dirty and have things living in them.

I enjoy lazy rivers as well, but my favorite part of the waterpark where I live is the water slide race. Me and my friends race down the slides and last one down has to buy first round of drinks. It's just mixed drinks made with wine, because the beer selections is absolute trash.

Heartomaton posted...

Real rivers are dirty and have things living in them.

Also it's gonna be a little bit of a hike to get back to your car, since rivers quite famously flow towards the ocean.

DrizztLink posted...

Also it's gonna be a little bit of a hike to get back to your car, since rivers quite famously flow towards the ocean.

How I forgot that actual rivers don't flow in a loop is a mystery to me.

Heartomaton posted...

Real rivers are dirty and have things living in them.

Ah. Scared of nature are we? The living things add to the fun.

You say that, but bull sharks exist.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Nah. I used to love the wave pool, but I can't stand it now. Too much chlorine in the air bothers my eyes and my breathing.

Heartomaton posted...

You say that, but bull sharks exist.

So do bed bugs. Doesn't mean you gotta be scared of every bed.

Stop pushing the fear narrative. I prefer clean water that flows in a loop and isn't a natural ecosystem.

Heartomaton posted...

Stop pushing the fear narrative. I prefer clean water that flows in a loop and isn't a natural ecosystem.

Im not trying to make it seem you're deathly afraid. But your first response implied you didn't wanna take a chance with dirty ecosystem having waters. It doesn't have to be a piss your pants fear. But there's a paranoia there and Im just trying to say you can be paranoid of a lot of stuff everyone else is fine with. I mean, plenty people swim in the ocean but I definitely fear the ocean. Shit tried to pull me in the only time I went waist deep. Made me trip into the current over a giant rock.

That's all you were trying to say? There were less annoying ways to go about it.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Ah. Scared of nature are we? The living things add to the fun.

During heavy rains in my city, the sewage system overflows into the river. There are times they close the entrances to the river cause there's too much literal shit polluting the river to swim in it.

My favorite thing about water parks is peeing in the water alllllll day.

Me and my neighbor are looking into building one that shares both of our back yards. We'll both never be able to sell our homes afterwards, but I think it'll be worth it

Heartomaton posted...

That's all you were trying to say? There were less annoying ways to go about it.

Scared of overly dramatic sentences, are we?

Now I'm starting to think the goal was to be annoying from the start.

Heartomaton posted...

Now I'm starting to think the goal was to be annoying from the start.

Neh. Wasn't consciously trying to avoid it or do it. Except the last post. It's just boring to be completely straight forward.

I mean I get it. I just wasn't in the mood yesterday, and no one likes to be told that they're scared.

I don't mind. But I understand "no one" is not meant to be taken literal. First time I ever phrased a sentence like that tho. So, it's not really a thing to just not do it again.

I have lost track of this communication.

I haven't gone to that many water parks, but I remember being fond of the lazy river that the one had.

DrizztLink posted...

You can ride that faster current the fuck on out of here.

I've been to a few lazy rivers the last few months, and I don't know. They don't have the same flair that they used to. I don't know if post-covid has made people restless or whatever, but the lazy rivers I've been in is full of kids beating each other with the floatie tubes and others crowding the flow of traffic. I've found the action rivers to be emptier and overall more enjoyable.

Heartomaton posted...

I love the one at Schlitterbahn near New Braunfels, TX. It goes to every corner of the park!

I've been meaning to go there for years. Hurricane Harbor gets old after so many visits