Current Events > Anyone else deal with imposter syndrome?

(+) Yeah! (+)

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I feel like I deal with this constantly. I'm a college dropout, and I have absolutely no interest in going back to school. So it feels like I'm not "supposed to be" on the same "level" as other network engineers. Even when people compliment me on my work or my skill set, it feels weird.

And then I feel like I'm commonly worrying that I'll get assigned some task that I'll absolutely bomb and then it'll result in me getting fired and falling down a spiral of failure. It's weird.

All the time.

I'm talking to this girl right now, and all I can think of is "how did I trick this girl into liking me? Clearly I did smthg to dupe her cuz I'm not anyone's type."

And whenever anyone congratulates me on something or praises me I just freeze like nah you got the wrong guy.

CableZL posted...

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I feel like I deal with this constantly. I'm a college dropout, and I have absolutely no interest in going back to school. So it feels like I'm not "supposed to be" on the same "level" as other network engineers. Even when people compliment me on my work or my skill set, it feels weird.

And then I feel like I'm commonly worrying that I'll get assigned some task that I'll absolutely bomb and then it'll result in me getting fired and falling down a spiral of failure. It's weird.

Thats just lacking confidence in yourself. Idk how extreme having a syndrome must be, but I dont think you can self diagnose yourself with that.

--Zero- posted...

Thats just lacking confidence in yourself. Idk how extreme having a syndrome must be, but I dont think you can self diagnose yourself with that.

If you don't know, how are you sure of your assessment that one can't self diagnose imposter syndrome?

No

Kinda the opposite really. I frequently feel shocked at how utterly useless and incompetent a lot of people are at their jobs.

Especially high end well paid jobs with a lot of responsibilities. I've seen so many total idiots get handed jobs due to nepotism or their wealth and then they couldn't even tell you the first thing about their own role.

For example: I was talking to an exceutive at Abbott who was discussing the Freestyle Libre rollout who didn't know what diabetes was.

No joke. If you put that shit in a movie people would complain about how unrealistic it is.

For sure. All my reviews at work are always great and they tell me how great I am at my job. And I mean great as in I'm ranked above "meets expectations." But I can't help feeling like they are wrong or I somehow fooled them into thinking I am better than what I am. It's weird.

I've never experienced this feeling before. I wasn't the greatest in my particular field, but I was at least average or better at my job. I never really cared enough to do more than what was expected. I just wanted all the extra time off from working in the education field while still getting paid. Showed up, did my job, and went home. None of that staying hours after school is over nonsense other teachers do.

Sounds like confidence issues. Not everything is a "syndrome" or needs a special name.

I have that issue in my WoW guild.

One thing Ive been told since I was a little is that confidence is the key. So Ive always kind of maintained an aura of confidence that Ive always felt like I am qualified, or I am the one to do this, or I deserve this, deserve not in an obnoxious way, more along the lines meaning earned.

So I cant say that this really applies to me

Yeah, that's 100% me

Once in a while I guess, but I just use a "fake it til I make it" attitude and it always works out >_> I know I got the skills and knowledge, I just need to muster up the confidence and I'm good.

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I read this is endemic to millennials as far fewer from previous generations have claimed this presently or historically

CableZL posted...

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I feel like I deal with this constantly. I'm a college dropout, and I have absolutely no interest in going back to school. So it feels like I'm not "supposed to be" on the same "level" as other network engineers. Even when people compliment me on my work or my skill set, it feels weird.

And then I feel like I'm commonly worrying that I'll get assigned some task that I'll absolutely bomb and then it'll result in me getting fired and falling down a spiral of failure. It's weird.

Absolutely. Pretty similar scenario as you as well, though I did end up getting my Associates (funny enough, in network design) and have worked my way into the position that I'm at now. I'm usually pretty good until something as stupid as another person getting a cert makes me start doubting myself because I haven't pursued one in awhile.

AmericaTheBrave posted...

Sounds like confidence issues. Not everything is a "syndrome" or needs a special name.

I'm really not sure why people are so hung up on the word syndrome. Words have specific meanings and the word syndrome applies here.

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Heineken14 posted...

Absolutely. Pretty similar scenario as you as well, though I did end up getting my Associates (funny enough, in network design) and have worked my way into the position that I'm at now. I'm usually pretty good until something as stupid as another person getting a cert makes me start doubting myself because I haven't pursued one in awhile.

That's interesting. I've been viewing certs as a way of forcing myself upward in the industry, if that makes any sense.

I'll never forget my experience taking my first Cisco exam.

• Timed
• You get one chance to answer each question, so you can't go back and change an answer.
• They also give you these really small monitors to do the exam on, which is a bit jarring, imo.

My heart was pounding so hard through the whole thing. Then when you get to the last question and click "Next" to end the exam, it freezes for a few seconds. I guess it's uploading/synchronizing data and stuff, but it felt like something went wrong and I thought I did something wrong and was about to get disqualified or I was gonna have to start the whole thing over because of a software crash.

Then it said I passed. I immediately jumped out of my chair with fists raised in the air and walked around the exam room for a few seconds. Then I remembered where I was and quickly sat back down to finish the post-exam questionnaire. I think I was fortunate that I was the only one in the room because that would have been quite the distraction for other people, lol.

CableZL posted...

That's interesting. I've been viewing certs as a way of forcing myself upward in the industry, if that makes any sense.

I'll never forget my experience taking my first Cisco exam.
* Timed
* You get one chance to answer each question, so you can't go back and change an answer.
* They also give you these really small monitors to do the exam on, which is a bit jarring, imo.

My heart was pounding so hard through the whole thing. Then when you get to the last question and click "Next" to end the exam, it freezes for a few seconds. I guess it's uploading/synchronizing data and stuff, but it felt like something went wrong and I thought I did something wrong and was about to get disqualified or I was gonna have to start the whole thing over because of a software crash.

Then it said I passed. I immediately jumped out of my chair with fists raised in the air and walked around the exam room for a few seconds. Then I remembered where I was and quickly sat back down to finish the post-exam questionnaire. I think I was fortunate that I was the only one in the room because that would have been quite the distraction for other people, lol.

I failed my CCNA by 1 question. Never took it again and eventually transitioned into server work anyway. Partially why I haven't done many more certs outside the few MS ones I have. Shit is such a hassle and nerve wracking. lol

Oh, but yeah. Certs are absolutely the way to go in IT. I don't think my boss even gives a shit about any sort of degree.

Heineken14 posted...

I failed my CCNA by 1 question. Never took it again and eventually transitioned into server work anyway. Partially why I haven't done many more certs outside the few MS ones I have. s*** is such a hassle and nerve wracking. lol

Yeah, I failed the CCNA Route/Switch exam the first time, too. I took it again a week later and passed. It took me 3 tries to pass CCNA Security. Also, when I renewed my CCNP Route/Switch cert in 2019, it took me 3 tries to pass TSHOOT again. I think that was mostly because I was working 60 - 80 hours/week at the time.

I've never been good enough to feel like an imposter. I've got more of a persecution complex, but instead of thinking like "this guy" or any specific person is out to get me that instead it's "fate" trying to fuck me over all the time.

https://imgur.com/gwp64iI.jpeg

Sus

Nope. If Im good at something, Im good at it. If Im not, I dont have the luck to get away with it and will get called out on it.

Kinda but I really was incompetent lol. I worked as an aircraft mechanic in the airforce. I felt that I was winging it most of the time tbh. I was shotgunning parts based on like past experiences. Didnt really know how to troubleshoot properly and just referred to some prebaked instructions in the TO most the time which is very limited imo. What I really should have been doing is following along wire diagrams and taking measurements w/ multimeter. I just didn't feel confident about doing that because it'd sometimes involve taking out unrelated parts to reach them.

Leadership liked me because I was obedient and I knew how to please. Only the very experienced peeps for the aircraft knew I wasn't very good. Its why I decided to not extend my contract really.

I feel like more people do than dont experience this, in the world of tech careers

Every day at work, even though Ive been there two years, am one of the top performers on the team, and even assist in training new people so obviously my superiors feel I know what Im doing.

But I still feel like an idiot

Heineken14 posted...

https://imgur.com/gwp64iI.jpeg

You fucker, I came here to post this

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ApherosyLove posted...

You fucker, I came here to post this

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https://imgur.com/OKSRgYd.gif

A bit when I first started but that quickly faded. I got my associate and took an entry level IT job but they really needed people with experience but let us just dig in so I went in pretty hard. Pretty glad now because I was debating taking some loans to finish my degree...

Looking back it seemed crazy how they just dropped us off in the deep end but just soaking up as much as I could really eased the feeling of imposter shit. It was basically idk how I'm going to do this but I'll figure it out for a first few years. Then the higher you go it's really the same shit, especially with my field where shit is changing fairly rapidly and is broad to begin with. It really is where the more you learn, the more you realize how much you don't know.

Yep. Especially in my last job when I had a a shit manager question my skills.

Try not think bout it too much and just have confidence/ believe in yourself.

Yeah, I feel like that a lot of the time. I've only ever gotten good reviews at work, but I still feel like I'm not good enough.