Current Events > A large man kicks in your door, determined to take a shit on the carpet.

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Heartomaton 03/30/23 12:45:42 PM #1:	As soon as he's inside, he finds the nearest carpeted area and attempts to dump ass in the center of it. He will not harm you, but he will move you out of the way if need be, and he won't stop trying to accomplish his goal unless he is either moved at least 200 meters away from the targeted spot or killed. Wat do? --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:972516245] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>As soon as he's inside, he finds the nearest carpeted area and attempts to dump ass in the center of it.He will not harm you, but he will move you out of the way if need be, and he won't stop trying to accomplish his goal unless he is either moved at least 200 meters away from the targeted spot or killed.Wat do?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Kimbos_Egg 03/30/23 12:46:43 PM #2:	https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LbVDJQTT5o4 --- You think you've Got problems? https://imgur.com/OnEOsdT <cite>Kimbos_Egg posted [p:972516267] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LbVDJQTT5o4</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 03/30/23 5:18:44 PM #3:	Deal with it. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:972522486] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Deal with it.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Devilanse333 03/30/23 5:20:25 PM #4:	Diamondcutter and roll him up for the 1-2-3. SELF HIGH FIVE --- XBOX Live Gamertag: DevilAnse33v2 PSN: DevilAnse33 <cite>Devilanse333 posted [p:972522527] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Diamondcutter and roll him up for the 1-2-3. SELFHIGHFIVE</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
R1masher 03/30/23 5:29:43 PM #5:	I put on my carpet suit --- R1R1R1R1R1R1 <cite>R1masher posted [p:972522739] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>I put on my carpet suit</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Priere 03/30/23 5:36:47 PM #6:	The second someone kicks my door in, they are getting shot. --- https://imgur.com/iQep35u https://i.imgur.com/PmX8smn.gif https://i.imgur.com/mwTy0iF.gif https://i.imgur.com/FCER80e.gif <cite>Priere posted [p:972522919] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>The second someone kicks my door in, they are getting shot.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
NoxObscuras 03/30/23 5:39:20 PM #7:	If I throw one of those carpet samples from the store outside, will he go poop on that? --- PSN - NoxObscuras Z490 \| i9-10900K \| EVGA 3080 FTW3 Ultra \| 32GB DDR4 3600 \| 4TB SSD <cite>NoxObscuras posted [p:972522981] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>If I throw one of those carpet samples from the store outside, will he go poop on that?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Waxitron_Gazer 03/30/23 5:41:37 PM #8:	Do area rugs count as carpet? or will he only shit on fixed carpeting? --- five, five, five, jack -five nobs <cite>Waxitron_Gazer posted [p:972523034] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Do area rugs count as carpet? or will he only shit on fixed carpeting? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 03/30/23 5:54:53 PM #9:	NoxObscuras posted... If I throw one of those carpet samples from the store outside, will he go poop on that? Nope. Gotta be in your home. Waxitron_Gazer posted... Do area rugs count as carpet? or will he only shit on fixed carpeting? Fixed preferred when available, area rugs otherwise. In situations without either, he'll give you a sad look as a single tear rolls down his cheek, and then leave. Your door will repair itself by reversing the breaking motion. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:972523419] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>NoxObscuras posted... </cite><quote>If I throw one of those carpet samples from the store outside, will he go poop on that?</quote>Nope. Gotta be in your home.Waxitron_Gazer posted... </cite><quote>Do area rugs count as carpet? or will he only shit on fixed carpeting?</quote>Fixed preferred when available, area rugs otherwise. In situations without either, he'll give you a sad look as a single tear rolls down his cheek, and then leave. Your door will repair itself by reversing the breaking motion.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
ArkhamOrigins 03/30/23 5:57:14 PM #10:	What if I'm already using my carpet to shit on? --- The <cite>ArkhamOrigins posted [p:972523494] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>What if I'm already using my carpet to shit on?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 03/30/23 6:01:01 PM #11:	ArkhamOrigins posted... What if I'm already using my carpet to shit on? He'll move you if you're in the way and shit on top of your shit, if any. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:972523608] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>ArkhamOrigins posted... </cite><quote>What if I'm already using my carpet to shit on?</quote>He'll move you if you're in the way and shit on top of your shit, if any.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Trumble 03/30/23 6:02:04 PM #12:	What if my house is a shit-free zone? --- The only thing we have to fear is Trumble itself. http://error1355.com/ce/Trumble.html <cite>Trumble posted [p:972523642] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>What if my house is a shit-free zone?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 03/30/23 6:02:39 PM #13:	Trumble posted... What if my house is a shit-free zone? Shut the fuck up. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:972523659] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Trumble posted... </cite><quote>What if my house is a shit-free zone?</quote>Shut the fuck up.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Imit8m3 03/30/23 6:05:00 PM #14:	Priere posted... The second someone kicks my door in, they are getting shot. --- Yes, I am aggressively handsome. Thanks for noticing. <cite>Imit8m3 posted [p:972523713] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Priere posted... </cite><quote>The second someone kicks my door in, they are getting shot.</quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
The_shibe 03/30/23 6:05:21 PM #15:	Heartomaton posted... As soon as he's inside, he finds the nearest carpeted area and attempts to dump ass in the center of it. He will not harm you, but he will move you out of the way if need be, and he won't stop trying to accomplish his goal unless he is either moved at least 200 meters away from the targeted spot or killed. Wat do? how the fuck can he just kick down my door? --- So post. Much gamefaqs. Wow. <cite>The_shibe posted [p:972523727] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Heartomaton posted... </cite><quote>As soon as he's inside, he finds the nearest carpeted area and attempts to dump ass in the center of it.He will not harm you, but he will move you out of the way if need be, and he won't stop trying to accomplish his goal unless he is either moved at least 200 meters away from the targeted spot or killed.Wat do?</quote>how the fuck can he just kick down my door?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
remandramdoll 03/30/23 6:06:12 PM #16:	I'm in the bathroom and we don't have any carpet in here :( <cite>remandramdoll posted [p:972523752] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>I'm in the bathroom and we don't have any carpet in here :(</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
thronedfire2 03/30/23 6:06:25 PM #17:	I don't have carpets --- I could see you, but I couldn't hear you You were holding your hat in the breeze Turning away from me In this moment you were stolen... <cite>thronedfire2 posted [p:972523759] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>I don't have carpets</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
ellis123 03/30/23 6:08:12 PM #18:	It sounds like he's going to have to make due with my front door mat if tile and wood aren't going to work. --- "A shouted order to do something of dubious morality with an unpredictable outcome? Thweeet!" My FC is in my profile. <cite>ellis123 posted [p:972523805] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>It sounds like he's going to have to make due with my front door mat if tile and wood aren't going to work.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Zonbei 03/30/23 6:11:45 PM #19:	Priere posted... The second someone kicks my door in, they are getting shot. So you stand by your door all day with a gun in case someone kicks your door in? Weird flex but okay --- It's a luscious mix of words and tricks, that let us bet, when we know we should have folded. <cite>Zonbei posted [p:972523904] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Priere posted... </cite><quote>The second someone kicks my door in, they are getting shot.</quote>So you stand by your door all day with a gun in case someone kicks your door in? Weird flex but okay </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SoIidLegacy 03/30/23 6:15:59 PM #20:	I'll ask the guy he confused me with buy me a new carpet. Cause yeah, well, you know, that carpet really ties the room together, man. --- Choco: why are americans so weird omniryu: To make a long story short, self esteem issue. <cite>SoIidLegacy posted [p:972524006] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>I'll ask the guy he confused me with buy me a new carpet.Cause yeah, well, you know, that carpet really ties the room together, man.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Zonbei 03/30/23 6:16:04 PM #21:	Anyways, I leave out the back door and call the cops. That should make it easier to get my home insurance to pay for the door and any damage to the carpet. I tell them what happened, do some cleaning, then I move on with my life, slightly perplexed by its absurdity. Meanwhile mr gun fantasy over here is going to have to deal with a whole fucking thing and also killed a man, assuming he didnt manage to shoot himself in the foot --- It's a luscious mix of words and tricks, that let us bet, when we know we should have folded. <cite>Zonbei posted [p:972524013] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Anyways, I leave out the back door and call the cops. That should make it easier to get my home insurance to pay for the door and any damage to the carpet. I tell them what happened, do some cleaning, then I move on with my life, slightly perplexed by its absurdity. Meanwhile mr gun fantasy over here is going to have to deal with a whole fucking thing and also killed a man, assuming he didnt manage to shoot himself in the foot </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
shironinja 03/30/23 6:17:43 PM #22:	thronedfire2 posted... I don't have carpets --- Now or never. <cite>shironinja posted [p:972524052] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>thronedfire2 posted... </cite><quote>I don't have carpets</quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Imit8m3 03/30/23 6:23:04 PM #23:	Zonbei posted... So you stand by your door all day with a gun in case someone kicks your door in? Weird flex but okay Stay strapped or get crapped. --- Yes, I am aggressively handsome. Thanks for noticing. <cite>Imit8m3 posted [p:972524201] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Zonbei posted... </cite><quote>So you stand by your door all day with a gun in case someone kicks your door in? Weird flex but okay</quote>Stay strapped or get crapped.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Zonbei 03/30/23 6:52:41 PM #24:	Imit8m3 posted... Stay strapped or get crapped. I would quite literally rather have someone shit on my carpet than shoot anyone or even have a gun in my home. But then, Im sane. --- It's a luscious mix of words and tricks, that let us bet, when we know we should have folded. <cite>Zonbei posted [p:972525000] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Imit8m3 posted... </cite><quote>Stay strapped or get crapped.</quote>I would quite literally rather have someone shit on my carpet than shoot anyone or even have a gun in my home. But then, Im sane. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
rodu_jr 03/30/23 6:53:25 PM #25:	but sir these are hardwood floors <cite>rodu_jr posted [p:972525020] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>but sir these are hardwood floors</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
BloodMoon7 03/30/23 6:56:59 PM #26:	But I don't have carpets. --- My maid will hear about this. <cite>BloodMoon7 posted [p:972525120] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>But I don't have carpets.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
WBC_Injury 03/30/23 6:57:56 PM #27:	I'm shocked this wasn't an UR spreadsheet research topic. <cite>WBC_Injury posted [p:972525144] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>I'm shocked this wasn't an UR spreadsheet research topic.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Pepys_Monster 03/30/23 6:59:17 PM #28:	Priere posted... The second someone kicks my door in, they are getting shot. --- Ryzen 3700X \| ASUS RTX 3070 8GB \| 16GB DDR4 3200 \| Crucial MX500 2TB <cite>Pepys_Monster posted [p:972525174] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Priere posted... </cite><quote>The second someone kicks my door in, they are getting shot.</quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Heartomaton 03/30/23 6:59:43 PM #29:	Don't start an anti-gun fight in my joke topic, man. Take it outside. --- https://www.youtube.com/user/Heartomaton Heartomaton for President 2028. <cite>Heartomaton posted [p:972525188] in A large ma... [t:80396365]...</cite> <quote>Don't start an anti-gun fight in my joke topic, man. Take it outside.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > A large man kicks in your door, determined to take a shit on the carpet. (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > A large man kicks in your door, determined to take a shit on the carpet.