Current Events > My father passed away tonight

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Scorsese2002
05/01/23 11:31:34 PM
#1:


He battled bladder cancer last Nov/Dec, got everything removed, went to physical rehab, couldnt wait to get back home.past couple months it was a steady decline again.he passed while I was at work, my brother came over to the house to help him into bed, by now he was wheelchair bound, but that was that

Got to kiss him and tell him I love him one last time at least

Random rambling so bear with me

Its really like living in a dream right now.not sure how to describe it.everything is slow motion but the time is going by quicker than I can look at the clock.back and forth between acceptance and sadness, sadness is winning at the moment

RIP Pops aka Wild Bill


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Spiderman23J
05/01/23 11:32:32 PM
#2:


sorry bro at least he's not suffering and in pain anymore

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#3
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#4
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Flauros
05/01/23 11:33:55 PM
#5:


RIP.

Did he have arrangements for a memorial or funeral service set up in advance?


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CommonStar
05/01/23 11:34:52 PM
#6:


Sorry for your loss.
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SiO4
05/01/23 11:35:05 PM
#7:


This day will last with you.
I found my father dead on the floor.
I was one of the few people who he told had a condition.

I hope your father at least had his arrangements in order.
~My father did not.

Things will be difficult for a while but trust that things will get better.

You will be You again.

Until then, I will tip one for Wild Bill.

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StarDestroyer
05/01/23 11:35:28 PM
#8:


Fuck cancer :(

I'm sorry for your loss TC.
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boxoto
05/01/23 11:35:43 PM
#9:


I'm sorry for your loss, TC.

I don't know how much of a comfort it is, but I think it's important you got to say your goodbyes.

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Verdekal
05/01/23 11:36:10 PM
#10:


I'm deeply sorry.

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KogaSteelfang
05/01/23 11:36:34 PM
#11:


Sorry for your loss.
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RIPVyseCity
05/01/23 11:38:10 PM
#12:


Sorry for your loss. May he rest in piece
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Scorsese2002
05/01/23 11:38:11 PM
#13:


Flauros posted...
RIP.

Did he have arrangements for a memorial or funeral service set up in advance?

No, parents had to cash in both life insurances years ago cause we hit hard times..he will be cremated with a memorial service, but the one thing we have to figure out is he always said over the years he wants full military honors(minus the burial now).need to figure out the funds through that because I dont think even through the VA its free

And the Gordon Lightfoot death news came out after Pops passed, GL was one of his favs, especially the Edmund Fitzgerald song, obviously were Michiganders.makes it all more surreal

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#14
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Ryvell
05/01/23 11:39:33 PM
#15:


I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some small comfort that he was able to pass in his own home instead of a cold and sterile hospital room.

I'm in health care. It sounds silly, but there is such a thing as a good death, and getting to be where you feel comfortable and safe is a good death.
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CreekCo
05/01/23 11:41:26 PM
#16:


My condolences

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SiO4
05/01/23 11:41:33 PM
#17:


Scorsese2002 posted...
Its really like living in a dream right now.not sure how to describe it.everything is slow motion but the time is going by quicker than I can look at the clock.back and forth between acceptance and sadness, sadness is winning at the moment


You are in shock.
Do your part, but don't be a hero.
Your inclination right now is to go above and beyond.
Please understand, you will need some of that energy for yourself.

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karmageddon28
05/01/23 11:41:47 PM
#18:


Fuck cancer, man, I'm sorry.

It's got to rough, but it sounds like you had really great dad, and as much as it might hurt right now, it's the good things about him that you'll always remember.
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Scorsese2002
05/01/23 11:42:24 PM
#19:


He passed in his chair, watching Gunsmoke, his favorite show..doubt Ill ever see that show the same anymore

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DD_Divine
05/01/23 11:43:08 PM
#20:


Im really sorry to hear this

hugs

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Scorsese2002
05/01/23 11:44:34 PM
#21:


karmageddon28 posted...
Fuck cancer, man, I'm sorry.

It's got to rough, but it sounds like you had really great dad, and as much as it might hurt right now, it's the good things about him that you'll always remember.

Like when I gave him the finger when I was 6-7 years old and he SET down his Budweiser and chased me around the house and whooped my ass.then went back to his beer ..old school

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fire_bolt
05/01/23 11:47:13 PM
#22:


My sympathies, bro. Lung cancer metasied to brain got my day a few years back. It was... Rough.

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SiO4
05/01/23 11:49:01 PM
#23:


Scorsese2002 posted...
He passed in his chair, watching Gunsmoke, his favorite show..doubt Ill ever see that show the same anymore


You won't.
But it is funny, when you called him Wild Bill the first thing I thought of was Wild Bill Hickok.

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FigureOfSpeech
05/01/23 11:49:26 PM
#24:


Fuck I'm sorry to hear that man. RIP.

I've never lost anyone that close to to me but my grandmother was in hospice care at the end of her life and I got to see her one last time the night before she passed, along with much of my family, since we happened to all be in the area at the time. I got that same last opportunity to tell her I loved her and kiss her on the forehead and I was really really grateful for that. The wasn't always lucid and kinda drifted in and out that night, but so many of us were there and she was really struggling with letting go. I feel the family presence was ideal for her. I had missed that with my grandfather. I was working and it was sudden... but my parents and aunts/uncles were there and he had a peaceful passing, so I'm glad for that.
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Scorsese2002
05/02/23 12:00:22 AM
#25:


FigureOfSpeech posted...
Fuck I'm sorry to hear that man. RIP.

I've never lost anyone that close to to me but my grandmother was in hospice care at the end of her life and I got to see her one last time the night before she passed, along with much of my family, since we happened to all be in the area at the time. I got that same last opportunity to tell her I loved her and kiss her on the forehead and I was really really grateful for that. The wasn't always lucid and kinda drifted in and out that night, but so many of us were there and she was really struggling with letting go. I feel the family presence was ideal for her. I had missed that with my grandfather. I was working and it was sudden... but my parents and aunts/uncles were there and he had a peaceful passing, so I'm glad for that.

The weird thing is, when I got him up this morning, something just felt off.he couldnt speak, barely could keep his head up.I went to work and then Ma texted me saying a hospice nurse appointment was set up for tomorrow, cause we were at a last resort..then it happened

Did he know? Was he able to overhear her conversation and decided fuck that? I want my chair and my own home..I dont know

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NOM
05/02/23 12:05:31 AM
#26:


Very sorry to hear that. He will live on through you and the memories you have and share of him. Hes never truly gone, just out of reach for a little while.

I will keep him and you in my thoughts.

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FigureOfSpeech
05/02/23 12:17:35 AM
#27:


Scorsese2002 posted...
The weird thing is, when I got him up this morning, something just felt off.he couldnt speak, barely could keep his head up.I went to work and then Ma texted me saying a hospice nurse appointment was set up for tomorrow, cause we were at a last resort..then it happened

Did he know? Was he able to overhear her conversation and decided fuck that? I want my chair and my own home..I dont know

every situation is different. You mentioned cancer. My grandmother was not formally diagnosed at the time but she did have breast cancer earlier in life, about 15 years prior, and it was suspected that it may have come back. She did have dementia though, and all of the later visits were a combination of elated recognition and "what is she talking about?" At one point during a visit when she was in hospice, she semi-mistook me (as in asked if I was this person but did not fully assume that I was) for a young Japanese immigrant she knew from her church before I was born (I am adopted but not of Asian descent. She was like "Are you Japanese?" and I sort of laughed and was like "No, Gramma. You're thinking of someone else. I do have an interest in Japanese culture though.").

In my opinion, having family around at the time probably made it easier and it was probably a choice at the end. Not like a "to stay or go" choice but a "it's gonna happen soon so when do I let go exactly?" choice. At least that's how I felt with my grandmother and to a lesser extent my grandfather (even though I wasn't there in his case). I just feel like at the end, when it's inevitable, you pick your time. (Obviously does not apply to unexpected imminent trauma situations)
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Questionmarktarius
05/02/23 12:21:46 AM
#28:


fuck cancer
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Number090684
05/02/23 12:26:45 AM
#29:


Damn, sorry for your loss TC. I'm glad you were able to at least find some contentment in being there for him until it was his time. How old was he if you don't mind me asking?
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mcpwnia
05/02/23 12:27:00 AM
#30:


my dad passed 3 weeks ago, also of cancer. don't have any consoling words, but you're not alone

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SomeLikeItHoth
05/02/23 12:27:23 AM
#31:


So sorry for your loss. It sounds like your father raised some great kids who truly loved him.

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Aitz
05/02/23 12:28:59 AM
#32:


I am very sorry to hear that. I hope he rests in eternal peace.

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Tyranthraxus
05/02/23 12:30:37 AM
#33:


Sorry bro. And also fuck cancer.

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AgentCoulson
05/02/23 12:31:07 AM
#34:


Sorry to hear about that.

Scorsese2002 posted...
Its really like living in a dream right now.not sure how to describe it.everything is slow motion but the time is going by quicker than I can look at the clock.back and forth between acceptance and sadness, sadness is winning at the moment


I know this feeling. Just try to remember that his suffering is over now.

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boxoto
05/02/23 12:31:59 AM
#35:


mcpwnia posted...
my dad passed 3 weeks ago, also of cancer. don't have any consoling words, but you're not alone
sorry for your loss, too

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KaZooo
05/02/23 12:49:48 AM
#36:


Scorsese2002 posted...
Its really like living in a dream right now.not sure how to describe it.everything is slow motion but the time is going by quicker than I can look at the clock.back and forth between acceptance and sadness, sadness is winning at the moment

It's kinda like that. A weird numbing thing. Just making sense of death and it actually happening. Hoping the person found their own peace when going.

Every case is a little different, as far as what sticks and levels out. For me the thing I'll always be hung up on is never meeting the person my dad was probably meant to be before/if he wasn't dealt the hand he had in life. Spent virtually all my life never getting along with him. No one ever showed me pictures of his younger self, and I can just see he was different in more than just visual appearance.

RIP Wild Bill.


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KINDERFELD
05/02/23 12:50:06 AM
#37:


My heart goes out to you and your family tc.

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
05/02/23 12:52:10 AM
#38:


I am so sorry for your loss.

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joe40001
05/02/23 12:59:35 AM
#39:


Very very sorry to hear.

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dragonstar13
05/02/23 1:00:44 AM
#40:


Sorry for your loss :(

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cjsdowg
05/02/23 1:04:12 AM
#41:


I'm so sorry for your loss.

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TerraSeeker
05/02/23 1:04:30 AM
#42:


I'm so sorry.

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Garabandal
05/02/23 1:08:45 AM
#43:


Sorry for your loss

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SaintSeiyaX
05/02/23 1:41:01 AM
#44:


RIP to your dad and my condolences to you and your loved ones going through these hard times.

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Master_Kazuya
05/02/23 1:41:49 AM
#45:


RIP

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noisetank
05/02/23 1:41:51 AM
#46:


sorry for your loss tc.

my dad passed away a little over a year so I feel for you.

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darkmaian23
05/02/23 1:55:32 AM
#47:


Scorsese2002 posted...
He passed in his chair, watching Gunsmoke, his favorite show..doubt Ill ever see that show the same anymore
There is a whole host of things my Dad liked or that we did together that I can't do any more or even stand the thought of. I'm really sorry for your loss. While it does get easier over time, do go to therapy if it gets too bad. *hugs*

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Scorsese2002
05/02/23 1:32:59 PM
#48:


Number090684 posted...
Damn, sorry for your loss TC. I'm glad you were able to at least find some contentment in being there for him until it was his time. How old was he if you don't mind me asking?

He recently turned 76, his birthday is Christmas Daythats another thing, didnt have one last Christmas or Easter with him, cause he was in the hospital last December and not physically able to go to the Easter family gathering.when all is said and done theyre just days of the year but still

Also, thanks for all the condolences and well wishes CE

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DKBananaSlamma
05/02/23 1:36:43 PM
#49:


I'm sorry to hear that

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goatthief
05/02/23 1:38:32 PM
#50:


I'm sorry bud. I can't think of how bad I'd feel if I lost my father.

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