Current Events > Im 36 have no kids no wife

(+) Yeah! (+)

Glob posted...

I think I will get married in the next year or two though.

Going that well, eh?

bsp77 posted...

Going that well, eh?

It is. Also, theres more incentive to get married as a foreigner than there ever was back home.

Do you go to public areas regularly? To you have an outside life? Do you have a stable job? Are you able to live on your own? Hobbies? Interests?

Theres a metric ton of late 30s women who want a guy. Like... put yourself out there lol bur you gotta have something to offer.

Glob posted...

It is. Also, theres more incentive to get married as a foreigner than there ever was back home.

Awesome! And makes sense

Toonstrack posted...

Do you go to public areas regularly? To you have an outside life? Do you have a stable job? Are you able to live on your own? Hobbies? Interests?

Theres a metric ton of late 30s women who want a guy. Like... put yourself out there lol bur you gotta have something to offer.

Also a metric ton of 20s and early 30s women who are cool with a guy in his late 30s (or even 40s).

NatsuSama posted...

With that attitude, yes.

36 really isn't that old in the grand scheme of things. There's people who start families much older.

I only just recently, like, within the last two months, figured out my cousins were actually my second cousins. Their Dad had them when he was in his early 40's.

bsp77 posted...

You have two kids though? You also obviously figured out the sex part before too.

well, yeah. i've got the having sex part down.

B18Champ posted...

There are three things we all have to do alone: be born, die and you know the third.

umm.... Nobody is Born alone especially not in this day and age.

The odds of a woman dying while giving brith with absolutely no one else around are very low

Recently came to terms with fully accepting I'm asexual. I deflect/don't pursue any relationships. I've been single for about five years now, not so much of a date (by choice, rejected more than a few over time) and have been nothing but happy about it. I go by myself to movies, restaurants, bars, museums, overnight stays in new places when I have free time, etc. It is considerably cheaper and more chill.

My last relationship was living with my ex-gf for seven years straight. After she cheated on me, it just short circuited something in my brain and I could never go back into one after that.

Idk what you want

But you have a freedom a lot wish they had

My co-worker got married at age 44 and had his kids at age 47 and 49

Requiem posted...

Pretty sure adoption / foster services don't look kindly upon single men (or single women, for that matter).

they prob. look more kindly upon single women. It prob would be hard for a single man. Don't really know have not read about it that much

Euripides posted...

My co-worker got married at age 44 and had his kids at age 47 and 49

is his wife much younger?

CedarPointcp posted...

is his wife much younger?

~8-10 years younger

Euripides posted...

~8-10 years younger

Not too bad. But she was definitely ready to have kids at that point.

You should at least have a bunch of money then.

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Fuck off.

I was just pointing out that not being married and not having kids at that age doesnt mean anything.

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Sure did.

Still, if you want to continue to be a dick about it, Ill do us both a favour and just make use of the block feature.

I almost got married twice and I thank God I didn't because I would be either divorced or miserable , probably both. Not really interested in kids either, although I think they are great and I love my niece.

I'm just hoping prostitution is legalized soon so I can pay for sex and then after just leave instead of talking about my feelings or some other crap I'm not interested in. Luckily I had plenty of sex and some relationships when I was younger so I'm not lonely at all.

GateOfDoom posted...

Live with a family member should I just face the fact I'm going to die alone?

No man. Get into the gym, dedicate a year of your life to fitness. In the meantime figure out what makes you happy, and strategize a way to turn that into a career.

The gym portion is easy. You can start immediately and just keep going. The happy career portion may take time. Its a day by day progression.

But you take care of your health, wealth, and by proxie your happinessand the ladies will come.

What wont work his simply making no effort to change your current position in life.

STEROLIZER posted...

No man. Get into the gym, dedicate a year of your life to fitness. In the meantime figure out what makes you happy, and strategize a way to turn that into a career.

The gym portion is easy. You can start immediately and just keep going. The happy career portion may take time. Its a day by day progression.

But you take care of your health, wealth, and by proxie your happinessand the ladies will come.

What wont work his simply making no effort to change your current position in life.

Great advice.

Sounds like a good thing to me.

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From an unbiased party both of you are being silly.

Razor posted...

I almost got married twice and I thank God I didn't because I would be either divorced or miserable , probably both. Not really interested in kids either, although I think they are great and I love my niece.

I'm just hoping prostitution is legalized soon so I can pay for sex and then after just leave instead of talking about my feelings or some other crap I'm not interested in. Luckily I had plenty of sex and some relationships when I was younger so I'm not lonely at all.

The thing is, we want a partner in life that you can grow old together, do activities like visiting new places, eating out or just watching tv together. Take each other to the dcotors when old and ill. But its just so hard to find the perfect match. You have to be both find each other physically attractive and then your personalties and lifestyles have to be somewhat compatible.

You cant get that with escorts. You want to love someone and have someone love you back.

Everytime someone says theres plenty of fish in the sea or how theres 3 or 4 billions women in the world. In my mind, im like "oh fuck off".

STEROLIZER posted...

No man. Get into the gym, dedicate a year of your life to fitness. In the meantime figure out what makes you happy, and strategize a way to turn that into a career.

The gym portion is easy. You can start immediately and just keep going. The happy career portion may take time. Its a day by day progression.

But you take care of your health, wealth, and by proxie your happinessand the ladies will come.

What wont work his simply making no effort to change your current position in life.

Dunno about that. I'd sooner hang out with a drunk or a vegan than a gymbro.

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No, being a gymbro makes one a gymbro.

Who in hell hangs out with gymbros at gyms?

--Zero- posted...

Nah you got plenty of time. Mid 30s-40s is a good time to still date because all the hot chicks you went to school with have lowered their standards or have kids that are grown lol.

Lol too true

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But they exist in gyms and they obsess over fitness.

Avirosb posted...

But they exist in gyms and they obsess over fitness.

You can work out and do cardio and not obsess. Let's not be all or nothing about things.

Im 33, have a decent job, car, my own house so I should have decent odds. Also in shape and hit the gym regularly. However it just seems so insurmountable to find someone and I just have this feeling of dread that Im going to be a lonely old man. I worry about it a lot and just find its something I dont want to open up to people about so I guess Ill tell CE. Its sometimes hard to even spend time on things I enjoy as I start to think about it and just want to do nothing. Sometimes I can get my mind off it for like a day or a week and be OK but it always comes back.

Anyway TC youre not alone.

CoolMaskGuy posted...

Im 33, have a decent job, car, my own house so I should have decent odds. Also in shape and hit the gym regularly. However it just seems so insurmountable to find someone and I just have this feeling of dread that Im going to be a lonely old man. I worry about it a lot and just find its something I dont want to open up to people about so I guess Ill tell CE. Its sometimes hard to even spend time on things I enjoy as I start to think about it and just want to do nothing.
Anyway TC youre not alone.

Are you social? Do you go out with friends and to events? Helps a TON. You probably are a good catch but you can't just be good on paper.

I've come to terms with it because trying hard and actually improving myself ain't worth the change of lifestyle it would initiate.

I've got a successful career and my own home. At this point I'd rather chase stability rather than risk getting into a relationship that could potentially blow up in my face. Being lonely is a burden but maybe one that I'm safer accepting.

bsp77 posted...

Are you social? Do you go out with friends and to events? Helps a TON. You probably are a good catch but you can't just be good on paper.

I'm mid 20's, not in amazing shape, decent job, but I haven't struggled with women since I was a teen, at least, none of my friends think so.

Just be the friend you want from others. Try online dating, if it worked for me it'll work for anyone I'm sure.

Cemith posted...

I'm mid 20's, not in amazing shape, decent job, but I haven't struggled with women since I was a teen, at least, none of my friends think so.

Just be the friend you want from others. Try online dating, if it worked for me it'll work for anyone I'm sure.

You are agreeing then, right? Being social and doing stuff works for most people in the long run.

I agree that online dating can work, but you have to learn how to make it work, and it doesn't for many guys.

bsp77 posted...

You are agreeing then, right? Being social and doing stuff works for most people in the long run.

I agree that online dating can work, but you have to learn how to make it work, and it doesn't for many guys.

Yep. You have to meet people in order to meet people. Whether that's online or in person, it's literally the only step you can't skip.

Yeah, so crash course for online dating:

1.) Take good pictures of yourself
2.) Be actively working towards something that's not relevant to a relationship, you don't want to rely on anyone other than yourself for purpose.
3.) Just talk. Ask questions, make it a dialogue. If someone is uninterested in talking, they won't make for a good date. Every woman I've seen in my friend group, gf or otherwise, talk about how awful online can be, don't be the reason they think that. Don't be afraid to move on if there's no conversation happening.
4.) Don't be afraid to just make friends. Not every girl you meet is gonna want to fuck you, you're not going to want to fuck every girl you meet. Don't be afraid to be a person first and then let the relationship develop on it's own. I talked to my gf for over two months because she was out of town before we ever went on a date. We've been together for almost a year now.

Im 37 and just had my first kid. Wed been married for ten years, but you know how it goes sometimes. But if I were you, Id get aggressive on getting out there.

Cemith posted...

Yep. You have to meet people in order to meet people. Whether that's online or in person, it's literally the only step you can't skip.

Yeah, so crash course for online dating:

1.) Take good pictures of yourself
2.) Be actively working towards something that's not relevant to a relationship, you don't want to rely on anyone other than yourself for purpose.
3.) Just talk. Ask questions, make it a dialogue. If someone is uninterested in talking, they won't make for a good date. Every woman I've seen in my friend group, gf or otherwise, talk about how awful online can be, don't be the reason they think that. Don't be afraid to move on if there's no conversation happening.
4.) Don't be afraid to just make friends. Not every girl you meet is gonna want to fuck you, you're not going to want to fuck every girl you meet. Don't be afraid to be a person first and then let the relationship develop on it's own. I talked to my gf for over two months because she was out of town before we ever went on a date. We've been together for almost a year now.

Congrats on your relationship!

I will copy and paste in my dating app advice. I know this pisses off some people in these threads, but if there is even a chance to help one person...

1. I used multiple apps (all free)

2. I spent time on my profile and pictures, made it clear I was active, social and geeky. I was also honest I had kids. Point is, be honest but put your best self forward. Make sure to have others look it over, especially women.

3. I gave people a chance and wasn't too picky just based on pics (people can be a lot more attractive in person and when using speech and mannerisms and such)

4. But don't swipe right on everyone as the algorithm will kill you on certain apps

5. When you have a match. Message enthusiasticly with something on their profile, ask a question and tease (but don't completely answer your own answer). If they like traveling:

"Hi Anna! What is your favorite place you have ever traveled to? Last year, I went on a European River Cruise which was a lot of fun." (I didn't say where or if my favorite)

6. Hopefully she responds (admittedly like 50/50 for me). If she responds, ask a question at the end of every single message.

7. After just like 5 or 6 messages each, ask her out: "I am really enjoying chatting with you and would like to continue the conversation. Are you available to meet for happy hour after work next week? I am open Monday, Tuesday or Thursday?"

This is somewhat specific but allows some options on her side so she can't just say no to a specific time or place. I never received a "no" from this. Probably reached that point about 25 times over the course of a year, using it on and off.

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Tinder
Bumble
Hinge
OK Cupid
Coffee Meets Bagel
Plenty of Fish

Other more niche ones too

Just dont use eharmony. Its absolutely shite.

If you have a good paying full time job or have a lot of money you're still better off than a lot of people who have those things that you don't

I'm hoping for marriage and first kid by next year. I'm turning 38 this year