Current Events > How do you radically accept being ugly? It's tough out there.

(+) Yeah! (+)

• The lady at the cash counter doesn't even look at you, while she laughs and flirts with the person after you.
• People your age assume you're older than them
• Match making apps are all zero matches
• Servers are rude or not as energetic with you compared to others

I get it, life isn't fair. But the idea of beauty is so pervasive around me that it's difficult not to get sucked into a vortex of self loathing. I hate it. I hate looking at my stupid face.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N0yXGVWS1Y

I just don't care. I'm not looking for sexual validation or relationships from every woman I meet so I just function in society as normal. If people clown a grown ass adult for looking ugly, I just quip some shit back and go about my day.

is this a meme/pasta, or....

it feels very 4channy

You're probably carrying yourself in a way that makes people uncomfortable, even if you are as ugly as you claim. People don't know how to react in general, and most people are just indifferent to other people in general.

Also, some people are just good at small talk. I make attractive women or average looking women laugh sometimes at the checkout, but it's usually because I'm being friendly and say corny, harmless jokes... but I'm guessing maybe 0-1% of the time these women are actually thinking about it as actual flirting or that there's any potential hook ups in the works. (once beyond the small talk I have a lot more trouble relating to people, I don't like to talk about myself and I suck at telling interesting little stories)

Do you have a noticeable deformity or injury? - I'm guessing not.

You probably mostly lack confidence and are just kind of a regular derpy dude that doesn't stand out - if you were really attractive - yeah women would be paying more attention to you, but that's not your lot in life and neither was it mine.

Try to carry yourself with more friendly of a demeanor, and remove expectations of what you think the other person is thinking about you, or how they will judge you.

Also, hooking up with a cute checkout lady is probably a bad place for it. They are probably bored and irritated and their feet hurt from standing all day.

Very few people are properly ugly.

The vast majority of people, if they are around the correct weight, nice haircut, decent skincare, get their teeth fixed, dress OK, good posture . . . they are going to look fine.

No, they won't catch the eye of every female service worker. But no one's going to think theyre 'ugly' either.

ai123 posted...

f they are around the correct weight, nice haircut, decent skincare, get their teeth fixed, dress OK, good posture . . . they are going to look fine.

Too much work

Regardless of what you look like, you'd be surprised how far you can get by simply keeping yourself clean and neat looking, have the ability to make someone laugh, and be really good with kids.

Those are/were the only real attributes I had when I was single, and it got me more attention that I ever deserved.

Torgo posted...

Try to carry yourself with more friendly of a demeanor, and remove expectations of what you think the other person is thinking about you, or how they will judge you.

Is there a method/trick into doing this? IE. imagining everyone naked. Every time I make an attempt to remove expectations and not care, that feeling seems to come back even stronger.

You're probably carrying yourself in a way that makes people uncomfortable, even if you are as ugly as you claim. People don't know how to react in general, and most people are just indifferent to other people in general.

I have bad teeth so I do awkward closed smiles. I also have acne scars that don't look easy on the eyes so I'm always looking down. I mean I'm polite and I do greet everybody that I encounter, but I'm sure my body posture could use a lot of work.

bigblu89 posted...

Regardless of what you look like, you'd be surprised how far you can get by simply keeping yourself clean and neat looking, have the ability to make someone laugh, and be really good with kids.

Those are/were the only real attributes I had when I was single, and it got me more attention that I ever deserved.

Will having really bad acne scars make it more difficult to achieve that clean and neat look? Ideally I'd like to keep myself clean and neat looking, but those nasty pimples and scars on my face make me look sort of greasy.

I think the most helpful thing is develop a passion for something. Ideally something you enjoy. Passion is infectious with certain people and that can help have something in common with someone else. Finding your people is a huge help here too because once you find like minded folk the desire to fit in is satiated a lot more opportunities open up.

delusion

Have you tried being attractive?

Jiek_Fafn posted...

Have you tried being attractive?

I tried smiling at a random girl close to my age in the grocery outlet today and she replied with, "pardon me sir" as she walked past me. I felt like a total mob character at that moment.

This is why I miss wearing masks. It was such a great equalizer.

I wear a facemask so as not to offend others ._.

I'd need to see a pic. You're probably just average looking. Few people really are ugly. Just like there are few really attractive people.

Dreepapult posted...

I'd need to see a pic. You're probably just average looking. Few people really are ugly. Just like there are few really attractive people.

Not me as I'm a guy but this picture looks very similar to my skin texture; almost identical.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/2/1/AAfYCkAAEy11.jpg

Ah, so like acne scarring? Lot of people have that.

I think to fall into UGLY you have to have something really bad.

Like gigantic nose, ears, etc.

Eyes way too far apart or close.

Parasitic twin growing off the side of your head.

Iamdepressed posted...

Not me as I'm a guy but this picture looks very similar to my skin texture; almost identical.

Honestly, I don't think that is anywhere near as bad you think it is. And I doubt others even really notice in day to day life.

I completely understand why it hits your self-confidence, but it doesn't have to be that way.

update:

I decided to ask the girl at the 7-Eleven if they sold "CBD pens" and she stroke up a 3-5 minute conversation with me about how her bf prefers this specific brand and suggested I buy it. What irks me about this is, there's a chance I could be friends with this clerk and her bf, but they also know my full name, date of birth, and where I live based on my ID. I think they have too much leverage to the point where I'm feeling a bit suspicious. What if I become friends with them and they socially engineer me for more info? They could potentially get into my bank accounts, brokerage account, and even sim swap me. What should I do?

Iamdepressed posted...

What if I become friends with them and they socially engineer me for more info? They could potentially get into my bank accounts, brokerage account, and even sim swap me. What should I do?

...you should obviously leave them alone as paranoia at this level is extremely unhealthy and there is no need to subject others to it

Honestly it really does come down to just having to accept it and learning how to just live for yourself.

Its not always easy, but it is so liberating.

That said, it does majorly suck being the ugly friend - watching girls hit on everyone youre with except you, and such.

Iamdepressed posted...

update:

I decided to ask the girl at the 7-Eleven if they sold "CBD pens" and she stroke up a 3-5 minute conversation with me about how her bf prefers this specific brand and suggested I buy it. What irks me about this is, there's a chance I could be friends with this clerk and her bf, but they also know my full name, date of birth, and where I live based on my ID. I think they have too much leverage to the point where I'm feeling a bit suspicious. What if I become friends with them and they socially engineer me for more info? They could potentially get into my bank accounts, brokerage account, and even sim swap me. What should I do?

Jesus Christ