Current Events > Engaged/Married folk of CE-

(+) Yeah! (+)

When I felt we were ready, had jobs and an understanding what being married would be for us. We both had grow up before we tied the knot, but here we are three years later and still together a growing as a couple.

bsp77 posted...

Every woman I have said it to in that manner was in a month or less.

The few previous ones I said it were usually a couple months so this one was very quick for me. She ended up moving in slowly to my parents house until we moved out and got an apartment and a cat. It was pretty quick but considering we're married, well, it worked out!

Kaldrenthebold posted...

The few previous ones I said it were usually a couple months so this one was very quick for me. She ended up moving in slowly to my parents house until we moved out and got an apartment and a cat. It was pretty quick but considering we're married, well, it worked out!

I have wondered if I can tell the difference bwtn infatuation and love. Anyway, congrats!

I dont really think there is a too fast when it comes to live. However I am of the thought that since marriage supposedly means youll love each other forever, then theres probably not a reason to rush into that (except if you need like benefits or some bureaucratic thing). But also some people be out here dating for all the years cuz one is making it seem like theyll ask.eventually. Thats not my fav thing to hear about.

Is there a particular reason for this topic? Just curious?

We were still in college, had dated for like 2 years. Wanted to wait till I had a good job and could afford somewhere to live before we got married, so I wasn't in a rush to officially be engaged, but definitely planned to marry.

One day, we were trying to get to some event and got lost and I just kinda spur of the moment asked if she wanted to go look for engagement rings instead. I think we had talked about it a bit before, but it was pretty out of the blue. And bam, now we're engaged. lol
Didn't get married for a few more years after that, and when we did we eloped.

I'm not much into tradition, I guess. *shrug*

bsp77 posted...

Is there a particular reason for this topic? Just curious?

A little bit of a lot of things. Just hardly get to hear about the decision making process, moreso just the stories of meeting or proposing to partners. And add in that everyone has diff timelines, so I wondered what made the dating period last longer or shorter.

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Yeah. Some of these are really cute!

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I mean honestly tho. How long is too long?

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But so at what point does it then become just fucked for the other person to keep the relationship going, because that seems like just leading them on?
You're right that everything is going to be individual, so that is one interesting thing many married people here have stated: we knew we were gonna get married, it was just when or how. So how do you know when and how do you know how !?!?

I lived with my last girlfriend for over a decade. Marriage was never on the cards.

Im engaged now, but thats partly for visa reasons.

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In the instances I am aware of, communication is still key in whether or not both parties are happy. If it is a long term relationship and they have discussed that they do not wish to get traditionally married, then both can be happy. If the relationship drags on, but with no discussions or consensus, then usually at least one person is unhappy. Whether it is viewed as "pressure" or not, it isn't a proper relationship if they don't tell each other their long term plans.

I've been with my partner for almost 10 years, married for just over a year. We were together for maybe 3 or 4 years when we got engaged, then didn't get married until about 4 years after that.

We were together long enough to be reasonably sure things were going to pan out, and it was beneficial to tax filing and insurance to get married so we finally went in on it

The actual "wedding" was this lady we knew through a friend who was ordained or whatever and came over with her wife to sign everything and call it official lol. It was real chill

My wife started out as a friend of a friends, then a friend, then my roommate and then my gf/fiance/wife. The proposal and wedding were nothing very fancy or even noteworthy at all.

We'll have been married 15 years next month.

There isn't a one size fits all timeframe for what is too long. Depends on the couple and their specific circumstances. I proposed to my wife after 9 months, which was far quicker than even I thought I would. I always told myself 3 years at a minimum, enough time to get through the honeymoon phase, have some fights, see how we handle and grow from them, and really just determine if the compatibility could endure forever.

It'll never not be a gamble; people change. But I was always one who dated to find a wife and not for casual hookups. I proposed at 26, she was 31, we both knew what we wanted so that took a lot of work out of it from the start. We both have changed since then, but for the better, and in ways that compliment each other. Some aren't so lucky. Marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding.

Never have and probably never will. Maybe I would be now if life went in a different direction.

Glob posted...

I lived with my last girlfriend for over a decade. Marriage was never on the cards.

Im engaged now, but thats partly for visa reasons.

Was that her or you, explicitly stated or never mentioned?

LordMarshal posted...

It was Christmas after a couple of years together and my wifes like "Want to get married?" and im like "Sure"......

Very similar situation for us as well.

Daffadilio posted...

What the FUCK this is the kind of thing I needed to hear, that is amazing and I love it so much

Im glad! My wife and I tell the story often.

Westernwolf4 posted...

Im glad! My wife and I tell the story often.

Your story is borderline batshit crazy and I love that. I always say it's better to say "yes" to opportunities than "no". You regret what you don't do so much more than what you actually do.

bsp77 posted...

Your story is borderline batshit crazy and I love that. I always say it's better to say "yes" to opportunities than "no". You regret what you don't do so much more than what you actually do.

I totally agree with your last line-I am pretty old at this point, and I absolutely regret stuff I didnt do more than anything else.

What I cant believe to this day is the courage my wife showed to get us together. Me saying no to my buddies was kind of a no brainer. But walking up to someone you are interested in and being like: drop everything and come away with me.? I am no wallflower, but I could never ever do that. I really admire that, and I am grateful every day that she took a chance.

I am not much of a reward for her courage, but still

Westernwolf4 posted...

I totally agree with your last line-I am pretty old at this point, and I absolutely regret stuff I didnt do more than anything else.

What I cant believe to this day is the courage my wife showed to get us together. Me saying no to my buddies was kind of a no brainer. But walking up to someone you are interested in and being like: drop everything and come away with me.? I am no wallflower, but I could never ever do that. I really admire that, and I am grateful every day that she took a chance.

I am not much of a reward for her courage, but still

Yeah, most would not do what she did. I am sure she thinks you are a good reward

Started dating my fiance in October 2020. I had a strong feeling that I'd want to marry her after about a year, but I didn't want to rush into it too fast. So I gave it a while, while also waiting for a good time when we'd be alone and I could make some type of plan. Once we started talking about going somewhere on a vacation together last summer, I figured that'd be a great time. Of course she said yes, and now we're planning for sometime next year.

bsp77 posted...

Yeah, most would not do what she did. I am sure she thinks you are a good reward

She isvery patient and kind. She has put up with me for a long time. Just celebrated 25 years this summer!

I am a very lucky person in so many ways, meeting her being the biggest one. And I dont think we would have started if she hadnt pressed the issue.

Phantom_Nook posted...

Started dating my fiance in October 2020. I had a strong feeling that I'd want to marry her after about a year, but I didn't want to rush into it too fast. So I gave it a while, while also waiting for a good time when we'd be alone and I could make some type of plan. Once we started talking about going somewhere on a vacation together last summer, I figured that'd be a great time. Of course she said yes, and now we're planning for sometime next year.

Congratulations!