Board 8 > The October Horror Movie Marathon Topic (Year 4)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Yeah, I'll probably put that on my watch list for this month as well.

20. Slasher: Solstice (TV Series) (Netflix)

I made it to the last season of Slasher on Netflix! And what a season it is. After this, they moved over to Shudder, where they remain successful and have even been greenlit for a third season.

Solstice is about how someone gets murdered during the Solstice party in a small town, and a killer appears to be killing people who seemed to have an issue with them that lived in the same apartment complex.

I have to say I believe this is the best season of Slasher, and it's really freaking good. Getting the easy stuff out of the way: the kills are extremely creative and brutal. Constantly unexpected ways to die that I think surpasses the previous two seasons. I had seen the season once, but I forgot just how wild some of these kills are.

Now, for the more substantial stuff. This season has so much diversity in it in terms of race and sexuality. White, Black, Middle Eastern, Indian, Hispanic, asexual, bisexual, gay--there's a ton here. And none of them fall into some kind of stereotype. They're all fully fleshed out characters, even to the most minor one. That's what's so impressive about this season is that the characters are outstanding. There's even a character who has fallen into the alt-right pipeline that is easy to hate, but you eventually see him go through his own arc. They take their time to really flesh out people, before death, during death, and after death with flashbacks. It's great.

And there's so many twists and turns and relationships with one another that get flipped around. It rules, and none of it is expected. Easily the most creative season in terms of having a giant storyline that seamlessly weaves these characters into the narrative.

Probably what stands out most about this season is that the entire season takes place in a 24 hour span (flashbacks excluded). Every episode is 3 hours time, which I thought was very cool as well because they stay in that timeframe.

So if you have to watch any one season of Slasher, I recommend Solstice the most. It's the most ambitious season that completely pays off. If serial killer stuff is your thing, you won't be disappointed by this one at all.

Rating: 9/10

21. Eden Lake (Amazon Prime)

How about a terrifying horror thriller starring Michael Fassbender in 2008 with a concept that is a lot more terrible to think about than expected?

Eden Lake is about a couple that goes to vacation by a lake, but they end up being terrorized by a group of pre-teens who seem to have no problem seriously hurting them.

With a concept like that, it seems a bit ridiculous, right? A group of freaking children trying to kill you? You're an adult. You can handle it. Well, it turns out you can't when they are fully prepared to do the whole killing thing. In what starts as children just being little assholes to a couple on a vacation slowly turns into them clearly wanting to cause them all serious harm. And, of course, our protagonists don't really want to hurt actual children, but slowly but surely, they start to realize they'll have no choice if they want to survive.

What makes Eden Lake so good is that it gives us villains that present a serious moral quandary. How many times do you watch a horror movie and go "Well okay, but they shouldn't hurt the monster?" Not often! But in this one, we're slowly being driven to that point just like our protagonists. Where they slowly have more and more contempt for these little shit children and you have to start thinking about when the hell it's time to fight back, and how far to go.

It doesn't even stop there! It continues to present different situations where you're questioning how bad you should be feeling over it. It's crazy that there's so many layers in the movie.

And to wrap all of this up, it has one of the best conclusions to a horror movie. It takes all of the feelings we've felt and then throws you into another situation that lets us all come to yet another realization with our protagonists. And then we question what we'd do in that situation too. And it's just so good. I won't get into exactly how it makes me feel, because that probably spoils it a little too much.

But if you're looking for something that is going to constantly twist at your morals while delivering an outstanding thriller, Eden Lake is worth your watch. Just an outstanding film I've been meaning to re-watch for a while. Go out of your way to watch it!

Rating: 9/10

22. Gerald's Game (Netflix)

So my girlfriend threw up while watching this and we had to watch the last 15 minutes the following day. I'm sure anyone who has seen this movie knows precisely what moment was enough to make her throw up, and I can handle most horror gore stuff, but it's one of those moments that makes me cover my eyes.

But anyway, Gerald's Game is about a woman who goes on a remote vacation with her husband. When engaging in a little bit of kinky sex play and is handcuffed to the bed posts, but then she gets trapped in the handcuffs with no way out. Even worse, she has visitors.

This is another Mike Flanagan movie! I might actually be able to finish all of his movies and TV this year. We'll see! We see his talents refined in this one, as there are many visuals that stick with me that are just perfect. He really knows how to create these scenes and visuals that pops, and that's why he's always stood out to me. Watching again, I could remember certain scenes completely. And the directing is always dynamic and manages to keep you engaged, even in the simplest of scenes. Mike Flanagan rules, and we all know that.

The very talented Carla Gugino stars in this movie and it's basically a solo show for her to display her talents. And she's freaking great. You feel the desperation, the frustration, the pain throughout this entire film with her. Just an outstanding actress, and it takes someone very special to pull this movie off.

I also enjoy that the movie gets to explore our protagonist's entire life, and we learn so much about her. It's not so much a movie about her being trapped on a bed and helpless so much as her being trapped in life as well, and working through it all while she tries to survive. It's a fascinating character piece that I love.

However, I think it's still not a completely perfect narrative. It's good, but it does pose questions at some moments, and I find a lot of the epilogue a little strange. It wraps everything up fine, but it's still a little disjointed from the rest of the film. But then, I don't know how you do the epilogue to service the movie in any other way but this.

But I still think it's a great movie. Not one of my favorite Mike Flanagan works, and That One Scene keeps me from wanting to re-watch it, but it's still a very quality movie with the same excellent cinematography from Flanagan and exceptional acting from Carla Gugino.

Rating: 7.5/10

23. The Eye (2008) (Max)

The American remake of, from what I understand, a middling Chinese horror. It's nooot great. After Red Eye, I'm watching many eye-themed movies I guess.

In The Eye, Jessica Alba stars as a blind violinist who gets an eye transplant and starts seeing spooky ghosts and haunting images.

So yeah, I did not like this movie. They do a solid job making Jessica Alba's character very likable for a while before making her kind of annoying and crappy for a while. Even being understanding of her situation, she's basically bullying her physical therapist into breaking his rules under potential of losing his license to help her and that doesn't sit right. And her freak outs get kind of tired after a while.

There's a way this movie doesn't actually suck if they just don't get sucked into all of the crappy 2000-era horror movie tropes. You know the ones. Jump scares, flashing on the screen, louder and more obvious is better. Let's take a trip to X area and learn about the origins of this malevolent thing and find peace with it. Absolutely no subtlety. It sucks and the directing is frankly bad. I looked up the directors and this is basically the last thing of note that they worked on. They also did the original Them, the French horror movie that I thought was a bit overrated and mostly pretty decent. But this killed their careers dead, for good reason because there's nothing here that worked.

But the rules of the thing are ridiculous too. Sometimes she just sees a lone ghost there doing stuff. Sometimes she sees full on visions of how an area looked around her for no reason. And then sometimes she just receives flat out visions. And she sees the eye donor's face as her own in the mirror. Nothing is consistent and all of it lacks any kind of subtlety that could actually make it good.

The drama doesn't work either, as hard as Jessica Alba tries to make us feel bad for her. And please know that Jessica Alba tried harder to make something quality in this movie more than anyone else. But ultimately, the script isn't there and the directing isn't there. This one is a dud.

Rating: 1.5/10

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

15. The People Under the Stairs (Peacock)

I've never seen this, but a few months ago at work I received an email from one of my company's new sales agents, and I noticed that the profile pic on his email looked kind of like an actor's headshot. He had a unique name too, so I decided to Google him and it turns out he played the Stairmaster in this movie!

Don't know if he's even a big part of the movie or anything, but I thought it was interesting. In case you were ever wondering what the guy who played the Stairmaster is up to these days lol

mcflubbin posted...

I've never seen this, but a few months ago at work I received an email from one of my company's new sales agents, and I noticed that the profile pic on his email looked kind of like an actor's headshot. He had a unique name too, so I decided to Google him and it turns out he played the Stairmaster in this movie!

Don't know if he's even a big part of the movie or anything, but I thought it was interesting. In case you were ever wondering what the guy who played the Stairmaster is up to these days lol

He does not have a big role. Lol that's pretty cool though.

24. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (Peacock)

What a strange but delightful little movie based on a book series. Also notable for being a joint work by director Andre Ovredal (of The Autopsy of Jane Doe phase) and screenplay writer and producer Guillermo Del Toro. And I feel the influence from both of them here.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark is about a group of kids who find a book in a home where supposedly a girl was killing kids with her stories. But then stories seem to be written in real time now about everyone who entered the house that day, with terrible conclusions.

I'll start by saying I think this movie is a visual wonder. Each and every one of these stories here look pretty incredible. The monsters they have are just awful and unsettling, and there was such a great job presenting these creatures. Ovredal really knows how to slowly ramp up the terror of it all, and Guillermo del Toro knows how to write it. The best of both worlds here and I love every terrifying story.

The plot itself is a little... lacking in some areas, but very strong in others. For instance, I love how unrelenting and terrifying they manage to make it. They don't pull punches on what kids get got, and how terrible it looks when they get got. It really presents itself as a standard kid's horror movie where the kids go through shenanigans but all come out already in the end, except this one kicks all of those tropes and really allow for some of the kids to get taken. I love that.

And there is just one scene where Dean Norris of all people gives just an incredible monologue and it's just shockingly emotional. Love it so much. It's just as memorable as the awful monsters they create in this.

Now my one issue with the movie is that a lot of the development doesn't actually seem to be fleshed out, and a lot of it just kind of appears there. Like even as great as the Dean Norris speech is, I don't think it's really fleshed out too much prior to that. And then they just kind of throw stuff in there like "Guys, I've had this weird dream, I hope the book doesn't make me relive it." It does. And then the development with Ramon being a draft dodger feels a bit sudden too. I also feel like the conclusion is a little rushed.

But those things don't really bother me as much because there's so much to love in this movie. I'm always happy to watch it again because it really lets creativity flourish. And I can't wait for the sequel that they still maintain is definitely going to happen! I just assume Guillermo Del Toro is just too damn busy anymore to put his focus on it.

Rating: 8/10

25. V/H/S 85 (Shudder)

In what seems like another yearly release... the new V/H/S movie is out! And this has now become something to always look forward to, in my opinion. Especially since this one has a couple surprising directors in it.

How I normally do these is by going over the movies, then saying what the directors have done after it. So let's keep that up. I will say, however, this might be the most consistent quality V/H/S movie yet though.

The first story is by Mike P. Nelson, in which a group of campers are all going out to a camp by a lake. There are signs warning people not to go swimming in the lake though, which they all defy. This one threw me for a fucking loop. I never would have expected any of this happened. It was done extremely well and I loved how it played out. Freaking gruesome stuff here and I thought it was a great first story here.

The second story is by Gigi Saul Guerrero who does a Mexican-themed story where a giant earthquake destroys a news building that sends them into an underground path. What they find there is unbelievable. And I like this one a lot too. I think it goes a little slow, but when the shit hits the fan, it's extremely unique and I loved how it played out.

The third story is by Natasha Kermani where a woman is on stage claiming God is dead, and he's been replaced by a new God of Technology, and she shows them a Virtual Reality world to meet this God. This one is simple, but it's very jarring and I loved how it played out too. I don't have much to say--I just appreciated this short little story that does everything you need it to.

The fourth story is by Mike P. Nelson again, and it relates to his other story. This one is about a teenager who is meeting up with her family for a big party. And she's going to continue a tradition they all do. It gets insane. I thought this one was excellent, and the tie-in with the previous story was great too and really surprised me. Did not expect it or make that connection, but it's great.

The fifth story is by the legend Scott Derrickson, who is probably the biggest director they've gotten for these movies so far. This one is very inspired by Sinister, in which a home invasion murder plays out, and we're actually watching a VHS tape that was sent to the detective a week earlier that depicted the murder that just played out. This one was awesome, and I loved being able to see Scott Derrickson do these home video sort of shorts again, being such a huge fan of Sinister. This story plays out rather fun, it turns into some really grisly stuff that Derrickson probably hasn't been allowed to do lately. I think this might be the best one out of the whole bunch. James Ransone and a teenager related to Derrickson, maybe his son, were in it.

The framing story is by David Bruckner, another big director, where a bunch of scientists have a young boy watching TV and researching him, trying to see if they can have a scientific breakthrough. And uh, they sure do alright. This one is simple, but it's pretty fun. Easy watch, pretty funny

So like I said, I think this one is one of the most consistent entries. I don't think any of them hit the peaks of this series and really blew me away, or kept me as enthralled. But it's all just consistently good stuff. There's not a single one I was disappointed in or did not enjoy. There's usually at least one of them I don't care for that much, but this one clears. It's definitely one of the better entries, and I think you're missing out if you don't watch this one, especially if you like Scott Derrickson movies!

So what's everyone done before?

Mike P. Nelson directed the newest entry in the Wrong Turn franchise that came out a couple years ago, but nothing else notable. I haven't seen it yet, but I'd be interested to now.

Gigi Saul Guerrero has directed Bingo Hell, an Amazon Prime movie I wasn't interested in at all. She also did Culture Shock from the Into the Dark series I haven't really touched in these marathon topics. I remember enjoying that one though.

Natasha Kermani directed Lucky on Shudder, which I thought was an awesome movie. I was thinking about watching it again this month too. She's also set to direct Abraham's Boys, which is based on a Joe Hill story, who you may as the author of The Black Phone, recently adapted by Scott Derrickson!

Speaking of, Scott Derrickson has a large pedigree. Most recently he did The Black Phone. He's also done The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Sinister, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Deliver Us From Evil, and Doctor Strange. Upcoming, he's set to direct a movie called The Gorge, which is supposed to be a clever romantic action movie. Anya Taylor-Joy, Miles Teller, and Sigourney Weaver are all set to star in it.

And finally, David Bruckner who got his start mostly with the V/H/S franchise. He did the Siren entry in the first one and the follow up movie based on it. He also did The Ritual, The Night House (which I absolutely love), and the reboot of Hellraiser that was very well-received.

So yeah, the V/H/S franchise since returning after a lengthy hiatus has done nothing but hit with each new entry. It's a yearly tradition that I'm always excited to watch, and I'm glad there's a platform like this where people can get their short films noticed. While I said it's most consistent, I don't think it's my favorite overall entry (which is V/H/S 94), but it's definitely worth checking out if you're looking for an easy and fun anthology movie to watch!

Rating: 8/10

And don't forget, Hail Raatma

Nelson's Wrong Turn is fantastic, way better than any of the original ones.

This was the first VHS I felt where there was no obvious weak link. Every story was unique and compelling and tense in its own right. I think it's my favorite entry in the series yet the more I think about it. The way the first story was continued later on was perfection and I'd like to see that kind of thing more. It made this feel like you really just found some strange VHS you popped in from a thrift store with a bunch of weird, random, and disturbing shit on it, I think it definitely had the strongest vibes in the series too.

Yeah, after seeing this I'm far more interested in seeing that new Wrong Turn movie because Nelson seems like he can churn out some great stuff.

Honestly, if you told me your favorite V/H/S movie was any of the ones that have come out since the Shudder return, I wouldn't fault you for it. 94 is still my favorite of the bunch, but I think there's so much good stuff on these that it just comes down to taste at that point.

Completely agree that there was no weak link here. I think the second story with the Mexican news team was probably the weakest, but it's still great.

Really, I'm just glad there's a franchise out here that can get these directors with tons of promise, give them a bit more of a budget to do a short film to really flex what they can do, and just throw it on a platform like this.

I cant say I loved the techno god story, but yeah overall is a strong showing

With the techno-god story it was perhaps a little predictable but it was still really compelling to me and the best part was definitely inventor guy explaining his "eye-phones" it was on the nose but that's what made it hilarious to me.

I went out to get a Roku device so we can watch Shudder on the TV finally and can eliminated some of this big backlog, this one apparently came out way back in February. Now that I have it though I guess I'll be sure to add the V/H/S film to my list for this month.

Just watched Huesera: The Bone Woman. Don't know that I really liked it. Might just be sort of one of those films that's a bit over my head in terms of the message. Those kinds of films are hit or miss for me.

26. Totally Killer (Amazon Prime)

A Back to the Future slasher comedy? AND it's actually pretty hilarious, charming, and witty? Sign me up!

Totally Killer is about a girl who accidentally gets sent back in time and has to stop the Sweet Sixteen Killer before it can kill her mom and her friends.

So alright, there is exactly one hurdle to jump past here to enjoy this movie to the fullest. And that's the protagonist's best friend creating a time machine for her high school science fair. Get past that, and this movie is an absolute blast.

This movie could be a lazy Back To The Future But Horror movie--it would be extremely easy to do that. But it goes above and beyond to deliver something unpredictable that takes complete advantage of the genre with tons of hilarious time travel jokes. We've seen movie and TV with this stuff and it's usually tired and played out, but this movie does it better than most. I laughed out loud multiple times in this.

And aside from the humor, the plot is actually outstanding too. It has tons of twists and turns and developments you won't expect, and seeing our protagonist navigate it all is just great.

And Kiernan Shipka is our lead in this, who you may know as Sabrina from the new Sabrina series that was on Netflix. And she absolutely blows it out of the park. She acts with such presence and confidence that I think it's inevitable she'll reach big things. She carries this film effortlessly and she was funny, emotional, and charismatic. Her being able to sell her frustration at trying to save all of these idiots from being murdered.

Honestly, if you're looking for an outstanding horror comedy, this is a great one to go with. It probably would've done well for itself if it got released in theaters. I don't have much else to say about it but that I highly recommend it!

Rating: 8.5/10

27. Servant (TV Series) (Apple TV)

I finally got through the last of this series created by M. Night Shyamalan. I think it's a very disjointed show, but also overall outstanding.

Servant is about a couple that tragically lost their baby in an accident. They replace their baby with a therapy doll to allow the mother to try coping with losing the baby. Then they hire a nanny to help take care of the doll, and shockingly the baby appears again shortly after, and the nanny isn't very surprised.

That's the premise right there and it becomes sooooo much more. This does have the M. Night fingerprints all over it--at least at first. The series begins as weird, bizarre, chilling, and a frankly confounding mystery. And I love it quite a bit. It hit every single aspect of strangeness I'd want out of this series and I think it delivers it exceptionally well in season 1 and season 2.

Unfortunately, this show starts to lose a lot of what made it so special in seasons 3 and 4. It loses a lot of the focus on what made you be drawn into it and they made it far less bizarre and unsettling. That's not to say it doesn't have it's moments still--and the high points in those seasons are certainly very high--but it becomes far less interesting when they go in the direction they do.

Lauren Ambrose plays the mother, and she does an exceptional job at it. Her character becomes a bit too much at times, but she completely nails every important scene. Just a phenomenal talent. Loved watching her in this.

Her husband is played by Tobe Kebbell, who does a great job slowly evolving through the show. As a chef, it provides an interesting perspective on the show, surprisingly, as a lot of stories revolve around that.

And the mother's brother is played by Rupert Grint from Harry Potter fame as a completely grumpy asshole with tons of wit. I freaking loved watching him go. Just a guy who is barely keeping it together and takes it all out on everyone else. He has the best one liners in the show and he somehow cracks me up. Incredible delivery too on his lines.

And the nanny is played by Nell Tiger Free, who manages to nail her performance. From being a shy nanny, to being subtly unsettling, to being confident and manic at times. She's just an all-around great actress and her character evolves so much and is fascinating to watch.

And a special shoutout to two other characters. Boris McGiver plays the nanny's creepy as fuck uncle, and he is a delight to watch because he just makes this dude so freaking weird all the time and you just never know what he's up to. And Toby Revolori plays the husband's assistant cook. And this poor fucking guy is seeing this weird and creepy bullshit happening around him constantly and he just remains blissfully naive and optimistic. Bless this dude. I would just howl every time I saw him like "How are you still answering their calls to help!? Bro, you have seen some shit, GET OUT! You are too pure for this place!"

Perhaps one of the most interesting parts of this show is that 99% of it takes place in their home in Philadelphia. Only in the third season do they branch out to... just across the street. But every scene takes place in this home, or on that street. Even when they do have to branch outside of it for story purposes, it's mostly through video calls or news reports. It's such a great decision and it leaves you feeling trapped with these people.

And the directing is also pretty outstanding too. M. Night Shyamalan directs the most key episodes in the show, and you know something? M. Night really deserves more credit as a director. This guy completely gets it. You can tell the jump in quality in each episode he directed because it was GREAT. Just really creative decisions and shots. I'm giving him his flowers here, and I'm surprised it took me this long to really appreciate his directing talents. His daughter, Ishana, also directed a ton of episodes. And it was actually really interesting to see her steadily improve as the show went on. It was something I found myself really noticing as well. I hope she does something in the future!

So like I said, this show has such a strong first half and a less strong second half. I could get into more reasons why, but that gets into significant spoilers. And I don't want to spoil it because I want all of you to watch it! It's great, and it really scratches a creepy itch with an intriguing concept. I honestly don't think you'll be disappointed in it.

Now sometimes I'll do individual seasons with their own rating, and normally I would do it like that here. But I think it makes more sense when it's an anthology show (such as American Horror Story or Slasher) or it's a show that continues the story but plants them in very different settings and situations (such as Chucky or Scream Queens). But for this show, I think it makes more sense to rate it as a whole, since the whole thing is one overarching narrative that doesn't really hit a reset button even remotely.

So let's give it a season rating, but only really grade it by the overall rating.

Season 1: 9.5/10
Season 2: 9.5/10
Season 3: 7.5/10
Season 4: 8/10

Overall Rating: 9/10

27. Hell House LLC: The Abaddon Hotel (Tubi)

Well. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna watch the Hell House LLC trilogy before the new movie comes out. But you know what? I think this is better than the first one.

Hell House LLC 2 is about a new group of people going to investigate the hotel. This branches off of a talk show where the mayor, a member from the team doing the documentary in the first film, and a hot shot investigator who doesn't buy into it discuss the validity of the evil of the Abaddon Hotel.

So alright, I felt the first one was just random BS strung together in a narrative and I wasn't a huge fan. I thought it had good ideas, just a rocky execution. I think this one resolves most of those issues and provides a much more clean narrative while also bringing in more LORE.

Like I legitimately feel that this one has a pretty good story overall. It gives more purpose to the hotel, more story of what is going on there, and it doesn't do it in a way that ruins the mystique. It makes sense and by the end I loved it.

What I also loved was that they also sprinkled in shorter scenes to help flesh out that LORE as well. Just short stuff of other people who tried to get in and what happened. It all serves a purpose to help expand upon what we already know about the hotel.

Like I don't care about your dopey found footage random spookiness. I want story mixed in there too, and this delivered that. Of course, I don't think it's amazing by any stretch. We're still working on a found footage movie that doesn't break any barriers or do anything exceptionally well.

What's important is that since they did decide to make a full on universe with this series, is that I understand that universe now and know what in the world is happening there. And I can invest in it more, for better or worse.

So props to Hell House LLC 2. You turned your alright idea into a very solid one.

Rating: 7/10

28. The Doll (2016) (Netflix)

I saw there is a The Doll franchise on Netflix and I decided to check it out. It's an Indonesian horror film. Why not check out what I'm sure is the best that Indonesian cinema has to offer?

I was not prepared.

The Doll is about a couple that moves into a new home, and when the husband cuts down a tree that has a doll in it, they are being haunted by an evil spirit.

So this movie is about an hour and 45 minutes long and it frankly does not need to be that long. So that's one hurdle you need to consider.

But oh my god this movie absolutely sucked until it became incredibly hilarious. It's all funny to begin with, but then it's just completely off the wall absurd.

For one thing, they have the same stock stinger you hear in any movie when there's a jump scare and they abuse the fuck out of it. It doesn't matter what it is, they will use this stock stinger. It's so obnoxious.

And then you have the spirit itself which is always just waiting from some elevated area to just jump on them. That's mostly it.

Now I will grant that the girl spirit is actually very good! Really good work there! The rest of the effects are completely garbage though. There is a scene where she summons a million bats for some reason and it's the fakest CGI bats you've ever seen. And they don't actually attack, they just fly around. I laughed so hard at this.

But they just have so many bizarre script decisions like stopping them to talk about farts for a minute, or having what felt like the same conversations or same situations but slightly different for a while.

But the plot. Oh my god the plot. Let me tell you about some of my favorite plot points.

The beginning is a montage of some other family being haunted by the Doll. But it's just that the doll keeps appearing places. It felt like they were trying to use the style of Conjuring/Annabelle there.

The Doll is in a tree but nobody wants to cut it down. But they cut it down and the whole town protests it and the workers all have nightmares about it.

The wife possessed by the Doll spirit stabs the husband no less than a dozen times. Full on blade into the body. And the husband just doesn't act hurt for the remainder of the movie from it and is just running around.

The best friend is killed because she recommended a spirit medium. She goes outside the window and cuts her neck, jumps off with a noose, and then it rips her head clean off.

The Doll summons an army of terrible CGI bats that don't attack anyone but people have to pretend they are being mauled by them.

The Doll is not haunting them because he cut down the tree. The Doll is haunting them because the husband, out of nowhere, was afraid he was too poor to keep his wife, so he went to rob a family with a friend. The friend killed the whole family, including the daughter who is the evil spirit, and then the husband got away with the money.

The husband hears the garbage disposal going off and decides he should shut it off knowing the spirit wants to murder him dead. So he loses a hand over it.

The spirit possesses the husband and does the most hilarious CGI belly flop off the second story to the floor. And then he gets back up and the second time it's clearly a dummy with no impact on the fall at all. He dies from this.

Just phenomenal stuff. I actually recommend watching it if you want a so bad it's good foreign horror movie.

There's three The Doll movies and a spin-off called Sabrina. And they're all different dolls. And the only thing linking them is the same spirit medium is in all of them.

I somehow don't regret this. I laughed heartily. This movie is horrible though. It takes a certain art to be this so bad it's good.

Rating: 3.5/10

29. Prey (Hulu)

The first good Predator movie in foreeeever, and it's one where they finally got it right.

Prey is about a Predator attacking a Native American tribe in the 1700's and one girl's struggle to defeat it.

Like honestly, that's the entire gist of this idea and that's all you need. Give me Predator. Give me humans trying to overcome him. Having it set in a different age? Oh hell yeah. That's all awesome. It shouldn't be more difficult than that to make these movies! Just keep doing exactly this! I'll watch every one!

But what makes it so awesome is that it takes the time to develop our protagonist. She's great. Love Amber Midthunder and her performance here was perfect. Not only that, they took the time to develop this 1700's plain they're on. Because it's foreign and it's our setting, and it feels just as important as the Predator and our protagonist.

Adding in some twists and turns here is good too, but for the most part this entire thing is simple. It doesn't get complicated. You know how it all is going to end up after the beginning of the movie, and it delivers.

This movie manages to be so creative without modern technology, and while the Predator doesn't have his wildly futuristic weapons, it still very much futuristic gimmicks, and it is a nightmare to behold. You watch it just tear through EVERYONE. Even making a dent on this thing is so much effort. They make the Predator every bit as vicious and badass as it needs to be. Positively love that portrayal.

Nothing feels unfair either about this girl with a bow and arrow trying to put in the work to take out the Predator either. Just a masterful, tight script here. Tremendous work, and major props to the director Dan Trachtenberg (notable for 10 Cloverfield Lane) for being able to make this movie such a delight to watch. This guy gets it. Put him in charge of more things.

But just give me more Predator movies like this. Not that garbage they shoveled at us in 2018. Just give us this! Big recommend for anyone wanting to see a good Predator film. This not being a major theatrical release is such a missed opportunity.

Rating: 9/10

30. Jagged Mind (Hulu)

This movie was quite a trip. Pretty solid psychological horror though.

Jagged Mind is about a girl in Haiti who seems to start repeating nights that begin with a date with the same girl. But with this, she has a hard time remembering things now.

So I think this was a very stylistic and interesting movie. It has a compelling plot that carries it along through the narrative. I kind of figured it out super early though, but even then just watching the narrative play out was satisfying.

Maisie Richardson-Sellers is the lead here and I knew her from Legends of Tomorrow, and I always enjoyed her there. She's a very likeable character in this one too. She has a charm to her that makes you want to root for her throughout the story. Shannon Woodward is her girlfriend, and she does a very solid job as well. And when it gets intense, she's even better. Quality acting all around, really.

The directing was also quality as well, and they really found a good way to convey the haziness of everything and the confusion of it all. Shout outs to Kelly Kali. I'd be interested to see what she does next.

But overall, this is a satisfying psychological mystery that gives you a likeable protagonist to follow. The concept as a whole is really good too and I liked seeing how it was used. I got nothing else, but I recommend checking it out!

Rating: 7.5/10

31. There's Something Wrong With the Children (Amazon Prime)

This is a movie I was on the fence about watching, but I was pleasantly surprised!

There's Something Wrong With the Children is about two couples who go on a camping trip, one pair with two children. And when they explore an area, the children start acting strangely and toy with one of the adults in a more malicious way.

This has tremendous 80's vibes and an outstanding soundtrack that really evokes that era of horror while presenting it in modern day. You can tell this is a love letter to that era just by the directing as well. A really good first outing from Roxanne Benjamin. Her directing was very solid. I loved a lot of shots in this movie too.

I think this overall had great acting. Some people didn't like how the children acting which I frankly don't get. I thought they did a very good job. But Zach Gilford is in this, who you may know from Midnight Mass. He does a great job really bringing to life how bizarre this entire situation is. I don't know how many people could sell it as well as he did. Alisha Wainwright is great here too, and she does a good job as the heroine in peril. Carlos Santos is also surprisingly good in this too. Normally he's pretty exclusively done comedies, but here he's rather serious and does a good job.

I feel like the strongest part of the movie is the middle where it's clear that the kids are acting weird and nobody believes Zach Gilford's character. That part is so deeply uncomfortable and unsettling as we see more and more what plays out. I think when we get to the more horror parts, it gets less strong, but still very creepy and tense in its own right. The interpersonal drama is pretty well-done too all things considered, and it gets freaking nasty at points.

Overall, this is a great movie if you want to scratch an 80's itch. A creepy, simple movie that I really enjoyed! Give it a watch!

Rating: 7.5/10

Glad you enjoyed those two! Your thoughts on TSWWtC are pretty much exactly how I felt about it to the letter, though I do prefer Jagged Mind to it by a good bit. I'm more of a person that appreciates 80's horror rather than being a huge fan of it; I'm probably a bit more contemporary in my tastes in that regard. But that closing shot of Gilford's character before the end credits... most 80's horror thing ever, right?

Just recently finished S1 of Servant, and I'm definitely intrigued. I'm still not really sure I understand all of it, but I guess that's the point? Really surprisingly great showing from Rupert Grint here

v_charon posted...

Glad you enjoyed those two! Your thoughts on TSWWtC are pretty much exactly how I felt about it to the letter, though I do prefer Jagged Mind to it by a good bit. I'm more of a person that appreciates 80's horror rather than being a huge fan of it; I'm probably a bit more contemporary in my tastes in that regard. But that closing shot of Gilford's character before the end credits... most 80's horror thing ever, right?

Oh my god, yeah. I loved that entire last scene. Just totally 80's and perfect.

Johnbobb posted...

Just recently finished S1 of Servant, and I'm definitely intrigued. I'm still not really sure I understand all of it, but I guess that's the point? Really surprisingly great showing from Rupert Grint here

Rupert Grint is easily the best part of the show. It is such a delight seeing his grumpy ass just trying to deal with all of the nonsense in this show.

I think by the end of season 2, they explain most things. But I recommend watching the whole series if you're digging it.

32. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Max)

Well, all of the Friday the 13th movies are available on Max now, so maybe I'll make good progress on watching through the franchise. I decided to start on what is, according to the title, the obvious last entry in the series.

Friday the 13th 4 is about Jason Voorhees, after having died, returns to Camp Crystal Lake and begins his long standing rivalry with toddler Corey Feldman.

I kinda love that this movie starts off with camp fire stories of Jason that act as a montage of the greatest hits from the first three movies and delivers the LORE of it all.

But outside of that, you get your standard fare of Jason. This time, they seem to have more fun with it. They're a lot more to gue in cheek and have fun with the hokey concept and many jokes are had. The opening with the nurse and doctor being so corny I really enjoyed it. And they ramp up the kills here a lot more. I think they're mostly more inventive than the first three films, and they feel a lot more fun to watch him just butcher these people.

The movie does feel it's age though. In a time where we have so many slasher movies doing so many new and great things with the genre, it feels like taking a large step back. Respect for the OG paving the way though.

But what do you do with Jason Voorhees? He can't just keep carving up teenagers forever, can he? Well, yes. But they also decided to give Jason his own nemesis. All the other slashers have them! So he needs one too! Enter child Tommy Jarvis played by child Corey Feldman. I maintain you can't do much with Jason in general, but this movie does a good job giving him a little bit more depth with Tommy.

Most people consider this one in the top three of the franchise, and I think I might like it a little bit more than the third film. But it's Friday the 13th. It's dated and you know exactly what you're in for. I think it's very good though, and I think if you're going to watch one of them, this might be the best option.

Rating: 7.5/10

33. Rose Red (TV Series) (Hulu)

A Stephen King screenplay split into a three part miniseries that came out in 2002! I have never watched the whole thing. I have waited 21 years to see how this damn show ended. And finally I know!

Rose Red is about a college professor that takes a team of psychics to a haunted mansion to see if they can find out about the tragic past behind it.

So I have to say that I still really enjoy the show. It has that classic Stephen King feel to it and there's a lot of charm and memorable characters and moments. I haven't looked at this show at all for 21 years and somehow I remembered so much about it. I can even pinpoint the exact moment I had to stop watching because I had such a vivid memory of it. That's crazy to me. I felt everything awaken the first time I heard "EMERYYYYY!"

This was split into three 1.5 hour parts, and I think it could stand to be even longer. I think if it came out in present day, it would have become an 8 or 10 episode miniseries. There's just so many fascinating characters here that I would have loved to see more of. So many other crazy, creepy things to happen in this mansion.

The plot is engaging and I loved watching it through. The way things are slowly revealed, the way characters develop. It's really a very, very strong script. Maybe a little slow at first, but it's done in service of these characters and to build up the mansion as well.

And the characters are all tremendous. I loved each of them in their own way. I loved how the house was able to mess with each of them. And I loved the way they interacted with each other. I'd love to see Stephen King do another screen play because he's outstanding bringing these characters to life in such a dynamic way. I could name each characters separately, but it would be too much time. But notable is that this is one of Melanie Lynskey's first roles.

The house itself is haunting and terrifying. You watch as it manipulates everyone there and, at times, just outright maims and attacks them. It's so unpredictable and I loved a lot of the creativity involved.

One thing that is unfortunate is that David Dukes passed away during filming, and it seems like his character was meant to do a little bit more that they just weren't able to get around to.

I would love to see Rose Red make some kind of comeback in a remake or some kind of reboot, or hell, for Stephen King to make something like this again. It feels like a very special show and it absolutely holds up and brought back some fond memories from my childhood. I couldn't ask for more. Check it out folks!

Rating: 9/10

34. Bloodthirsty (Peacock)

This is a movie where I saw the trailer a couple years ago, was interested, and never actually saw it until now. It was... okay.

Bloodthirsty is about a independent pop singer who has very bloody hallucinations. But after receiving an offer to work with a producer, she goes to a remote cabin with her girlfriend to work with him. Her hallucinations start to get worse though.

So this movie is pretty slow, and while it kept me intrigued through a lot of it, I don't think it does anything tremendously well. I didn't have a blow away moment or anything that struck me as great. Everything just felt fine.

The most interesting part was actually watching them go through the creative process. Where she has a song that sucks a lot and he helps her transform it into something better. I really liked watching that process.

But ultimately, she hallucinates being a werewolf. It gets progressively worse. You see her slowly getting worse. Greg Byrk, the producer, has another above average performance manipulating her. And you repeat that for a lot of it.

Now, it leaves everything a little more ambiguous, so you're not precisely sure what, if anything, was a hallucination. But the thing is that I just didn't really care. I had no impression and the only second thought I gave about the first bring is what I'm typing here.

So yeah, not a bad movie. Not a good movie. I think your time can be better spent elsewhere if you want a werewolf fix though.

Oh and Michael Ironside is in this probably as a favor for all of two minutes and does nothing but sit in a chair. That was funny.

Rating: 5.5/10

35. Jacob's Ladder (1990) (Paramount+)

It has been forever since I last watched this, and I really wanted to re-watch it again for a long while. But I freaking love Jacob's Ladder.

Jacob's Ladder is about a man who has hallucinations after returning from the Vietnam War, and they get progressively worse as he believes there is a conspiracy.

I have nothing but glowing things to say about this movie. I don't think it's as scary as I remember, but there's some scenes that really ramp up that scare factor.

But everything else? Just a masterpiece. I don't want to talk too much about the plot because, well, it's a very special movie for that reason. But watching it a second time allowed me to notice a lot more with it. On a repeat watch, everything makes so much more sense.

There's something special with exploring PTSD in this manner that seamlessly flows through the narrative that I love. And when you factor in a lot of the rest of the story, it makes certain scenes hit differently. You get a sense of how awful things seem for Jacob Singer, played by Tim Robbins. And you see these scenes that are portrayed as seemingly random, and it feels so strange, but with the knowledge from the conclusion of this movie, it makes them even more powerful.

Tim Robbins also does a great job playing a tortured soul in turmoil just trying to get by and finding and appreciating the good wherever he can before his life starts breaking down more. And his utter agony is portrayed so well when it happens.

I also think the effects and directing is top notch too. Just subtle things that make certain scenes pop more and then some not-so-subtle things meant to smash you in the skull. Both done so well.

It's always been one of my favorite films. The ending is so well done and leaves just enough for you to fill in the blanks for the rest of the film before it.

If you've never seen Jacob's Ladder, it's a must. A complete classic that has influenced so many things after it, and it feels as bold today as it did then.

Rating: 10/10

Im a big fan of Jacobs Ladder too. Legendary composer Maurice Jarres score is also fantastic.

36. The House on Sorority Row (Shudder)

So I had somehow missed that Sorority Row was a remake of this one. And I can safely say by "remake" I really mean "Absolutely fucking nothing alike".

The House on Sorority Row is about a sorority that plays a prank that leads to the death of somebody. After they cover it up, they begin to get attacked by someone.

So this is an early 80's slasher and it feels every part of it. But honestly? I think it's pretty solid. Dated, sure. But I was more engaged with this than a lot of other 80's slashers in this same vein.

They do a good job making all of these girls seem pretty funny and fun before it gets oddly unhinged. Just a bizarre prank that I am like "Wtf whyyyy?" But it ends up working for the movie and for the time, I guess.

I think the direction is solid. The kills end up being pretty good even though they're all using the same weapon for the most part. Them being hunted down is engaging as well. Overall, it's pretty good there.

And the plot is pretty solid too. You are legitimately wondering who the killer is, and the reveal is... I dunno, it's okay. I'm sure it's a lot better in the time it was in, but with a lot of these slashers you just need to remember that 40 years ago, some of this stuff wasn't done to death and it was less corny. I try to allow myself to remember that as I watch and review these, but sometimes it's just hard.

One thing that was very weird was that the ending comes with them thinking the killer is dead. The girl just passes out close to them. And then the killer's eyes just open and that's the end of the movie. Such a bizarre place to end it! The killer us alive and next to her and we don't get the conclusion!

Anyway, it's an 80's slasher. Better than most, but it's age is felt.

Rating: 6.5/10

And here's the round up!

Horror Movie Marathon 2023 Ranking:

The Best of the Best:
Jacob's Ladder (1990) - 10/10

Must Watch:
Chucky: Season 2 (TV Series) - 9.5/10
Pet Semetary (1989) - 9.5/10
Silence of the Lambs - 9.5/10
Eden Lake - 9/10
Prey - 9/10
Rose Red (TV Series) - 9/10
Servant (TV Series) - 9/10
Slasher: Solstic (TV Series) - 9/10
The Boogeyman - 8.5/10
No One Will Save You - 8.5/10
Totally Killer - 8.5/10

Great:
The Autopsy of Jane Doe - 8/10
Red Eye - 8/10
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark - 8/10
V/H/S 85 - 8/10
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter - 7.5/10
Gerald's Game - 7.5/10
Jagged Mind - 7.5/10
Mimic (1997) - 7.5/10
School Spirits (TV Series) - 7.5/10
There's Something Wrong With The Children - 7.5/10
Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel - 7/10

Pretty Good:
The House on Sorority Row - 6.5/10
Till Death - 6.5/10
Veronica - 6.5/10
Hell House LLC - 6/10
Bloodthirsty - 5.5/10

Below Average:
The People Under the Stairs - 5/10
Spirit Halloween - 4.5/10
The Doll (2016) - 3.5/10
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey - 3.5/10
At the End of Eight - 3/10
The Possession - 3/10

Trash:
The Friendship Game - 2.5/10
Beneath - 2/10
Requiem for a Scream - 2/10
The Eye - 1.5/10

37. Last Shift (Tubi)

I don't know why, but I've always been meaning to watch this one. The poster equal parts made me want to check it out and also not want to check it out.

Last Shift is about a female cop that's alone in a station, waiting to let in a haz-mat crew. But then some creepy stuff is happening around her.

So this stars Juliana Harkovy who I liked from the Arrow series (even though she was in the bad ones). She does a great job carrying this movie all by herself, because this movie is pretty much 100% her for the entirety of it. She's very easy to get behind here and she delivers a quality performance.

Aside from that, I thought the movie was kinda corny at first. Your typical "alone in a creepy place" movie. You've seen them before. But eventually, this movie just takes off entirely and becomes an unpredictable ride for the remaining duration as you piece things together. There's some imagery I think will stick with me because there are some very good ideas here.

I think the best part of this movie is definitely the climax to the ending though. When we get to the height of scares and then going through the aftermath of that peak, it's really damn good. The conclusion is great and really brings the whole movie together, I felt. Very satisfying ending.

What's weird is that this director remade this film recently for some reason. Kind of curious to check it out, but I'm not sure why he wanted to change this movie too much.

If you're looking for some kind of isolation movie, that brings some good scares and has a good ending, check it out!

Rating: 7.5/10

38. The Mill (Hulu)

A psychological horror that isn't very scary, but is very much an allegory for large business culture.

The Mill is about a middle manager who wakes up in a secluded prison and must push a stone wheel around in a circle to meet his quotas, or face a permanent termination.

The director, Sean King O'Grady, also directed We Need to Do Something, which I had previously not really cared for all that much. These rather suffocating films seem to be what he wants to do, and I think of anything I liked in We Need to Do Something, it was probably his directing style. This allows him to be a little bit more inventive with more space than a bathroom to work with, and I think he did a great job here.

There's a lot of style placed into this movie, with Mallard, the super corp, having various logos and advertisements thrown in. The way it's set up is very clever and I think they do a good job presenting the callousness of these giant corporations through this film. Because, as I mentioned, this is a very clear allegory and it doesn't pull back punches. It hits pretty much all of the issues you could think of and does so in an effective manner.

And you might be surprised to know this stars Lil Rel Howery, a comedian I think is rather hilarious. In this, he gets to show off his dramatic chops and honestly? The guy is really, really good as a serious actor. He really exceeded expectations for me, and considering this film is all him, he needed to blow it out of the park and succeeded.

As for the plot? It keeps you interested enough to see what happens. I don't think it's incredible by any means, but I was intrigued and enjoyed myself. Seeing this absurdity develop and following Lil Rel in trying to get out of his situation was a good time. I think it's the directing and presentation that really sells it though. I got a kick out of both of those.

I would say you may go either way on the ending of the movie. I was middle of the road on the conclusion. I sort of pegged it early on, but not exactly. And I had appreciation for it to an extent. But I can see not liking it.

So yeah. It's an interesting little movie that gets by on style points and if you want to see a takedown of big corporations, you'll enjoy it.

Rating: 7/10

39. No One Gets Out Alive (Netflix)

So this is another movie based off the writer of The Ritual, Adam Nevill. I don't think it's as good. But I'm trying to watch the entire No One franchise, so I may as well continue here.

No One Gets Out Alive is about an undocumented girl from Mexico living in Ohio in a crappy boarding house. And then she sees a bunch of awful visions and spookiness.

This movie is kind of disjointed, in which the first part feels very different from the second part. But starting with the good, Cristina Rodlo is great as our protagonist and she's extremely likeable and I wanted to see her beat all of the evil.

I also think the spirits have a very good design. They pop very well and I think they did a great job integrating it in some legitimately good scary scenes. And then there's a monster in this too that is FUCKING AWESOME. Just outstanding and I love it and I wish there was more of it 10/10 stuff give me more of that fucking nightmare. It came out of nowhere and I didn't expect it to slap so hard but that made the entire movie worth it.

They also integrated Aztec elements into this that I thought were really cool. They even get usage out of that badass saw sword that was popular back then, among other things that I'll not spoil you on.

But like I said, this movie feels a bit disjointed, I didn't care about a lot of the characters here, and I feel like the story overall is just kind of messy. The antagonists are also kinda who gives a fuck too. I didn't find myself very interested in them. It's a movie that absolutely gets by on all of those positive elements.

But those cool elements are very cool. And I recommend checking out the monster in this at least because it's tremendous. Unfortunately, it's in service of a story that isn't very interesting. I wish I could rate it higher, but I don't think I can.

Rating: 6.5/10

40. Frozen (Amazon Prime)

No, it's not that Frozen. This one has Shawn Ashmore.

Frozen is about three skiiers/snowboarders that sneak up on a chair lift right before they close the resort for a week due to terrible weather. They then shut down the lift when they're halfway up, leaving them stranded.

This is a weird movie because I think there's parts that are done so well, but oh my goooood I do not care about their interpersonal drama AT ALL. It's a full movie about people stuck on a chair lift, so you know they need to add plenty of that. The opening is fine for establishing the characters but it doesn't feel like it needed that much attention paid to it? And the payoffs are like, negligible entirely for all of it. There's no ending to any of these arcs among all three of them. It's just time filler.

Now where this movie excels is giving you a good look at the damage that happens from being out in the frigid cold for days. There's some legitimately gross stuff there, and it was kind of interesting to see how bad it gets. They also do a good job keeping it realistic and freaking terrible. The guy will try to make his way on those cables that hold the chair lift and it just tears at his hands and then it feels like he was going forever and then it zooms out and he went like, five feet.

There's some actually intense moments too and some awful, terrible stuff that happens and it's so damn gross and I'd just hate to be in this situation. And that's kind of where the intrigue of this movie comes from is watching them in these awful positions and trying to deal with it.

So in that respect, it's a nightmare of a film that's unfortunately not interesting enough for its runtime. But if that concept interests you, I think it's still worth checking out, because I did enjoy a lot of it.

Rating: 6/10

41. Scream 3 (Max)

So I'll just come out and say it, and I think this is the general consensus: Scream 3 is the weakest movie in the franchise.

Scream 3 is about a Scream killer targeting the cast of Stab 3, the movie based on the events of the Scream movies, and the killer seems to have a connection with Sidney.

This movie felt like such a slog to watch again, and I actually kind of dreaded watching it because I just didn't like it that much. Which sucks because there are some STRONG moments in this movie and some pretty funny moments as well, but overall I was able to pinpoint why I dislike it so much.

Scream 3 just plays with the meta of all of the really awful tropes in slasher movies, which makes it ultimately too campy and frankly stupid. Like we're pulling stuff from Sidney's mom as a long lost connection? That sucks. We're getting goofy with a cast of characters identical to the Scream characters? Like it's all just too over the top for what this franchise is. It feels almost like a parody rather than meta commentary at this point. EXPLODING HOUSES? What are we doing with this series?

And as a result, the rest of the movie follows this tone and it just makes it feel so weak as a result. Scream 3 feels like something the Scream series would make fun of, and I hate that.

But it's still a Wes Craven Scream film, so it does have some really good bits. There's things to like in this movie a lot. The wit is there some of the time and really catches me. And I like a lot of the meta commentary on filming a slasher movie within a slasher movie. But it's everything else that drags this movie down to a crawl and it just really suffers as a result.

It feels like grading on a scale, but this movie is so disappointing. It should have been a lot more clever and interesting than it was, but I think they thought they were being more clever and interesting than they actually were with it.

It's crazy, because every other Scream movie, you can have a debate about the ranking in all movies in the series aside from the first being best, and this one being the worst. I could even hear a case for a couple other Scream movies being better than the first. But this one is just not good. And it's wild because I love every other movie in this franchise so much. But this one I just can't stand to watch because it's just not nearly as good as the rest.

Despite all my complaining though, as a stand alone movie, it's still pretty good. That's most of the praise I can give it though.

Rating: 6.5/10

I feel like Roman is really underrated. He's still the first and only, probably ever, solo Ghostface

Roman has that whole fax kill thing so I refuse to give him any respect.

42. The Grudge 3 (Peacock)

I guess today is 3 day because this is the second time I watched the third installment of a franchise today. And they both sucked.

The Grudge 3 is about the grudge spirits murdering the hell out of everyone in a Chicago apartment.

Fuck me, was this one bad. Like really, really bad. First of all, they get rid of the disjointed storytelling structure and just have a linear story format for this one, and while that's not a terrible idea on it's own, the story is AWFUL.

Like I don't know what to even say. It's just so generic. Spooky spirits croak at people until freaking Kayako's sister arrives to say "Yo I wanna help get rid of the spooky spirits" while they take over the one guy who lives there. He does horrible schizo acting for a while and then they do a ritual and he just dead ass murders Kayako's sister in a gruesome way that feels so out of place for this franchise and then there's a THIRD GHOST. And yes I did spoil it, but you aren't missing much.

It barely feels like a Grudge movie, and if it didn't have croaking pale children there, you wouldn't know it. Dead ass, the one adult girl sees Toshio, this fucking pale white child with black around his eyes and then goes up to talk to him like he's a normal kid. If I see this fucking child that is PALE WHITE then I am running my ass the other way.

Just a frustratingly slow movie too, because they have this random side plot that has a doctor trying to figure it out after the kid from the second movie dies after the spooky spirits kill him and she just dies in the middle of the movie out of nowhere and that plot's just done I guess.

It's not all terrible, but it's mostly terrible. There's some clever ideas they do with them, but it's mostly so uninspired and boring. The directing is terrible. The editing is even worse. I shit you not, in the scene where Kayako's sister is being killed, there's a point where in the spam of three seconds, they do no less than 50 cuts when she gets hit. I almost had a god damn seizure.

And the acting is even worse. The guy who they got to be the grumpy possessed fella is just so freaking awful. He just tries to be menacing but he's so bad I just had to laugh. The lead girl isn't much better but she at least puts in an effort. The rest of the actors are so forgettable, as are their characters.

I cannot understate how bad this movie is. Just removes any soul that this franchise has. I was expecting bad, but I didn't expect this bad. Also, Kayako's sister is like "Yo this is the ritual pls drink this blood to stop the curse." And then this little girl does in the mess of the last confrontation, and the curse of Kayako stops and she disappears. But Kayako's sister becomes a spooky revenge ghost and then at the end, the little girl is now the vessel for Kayako. SO KAYAKO'S SISTER DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT AT ALL. Way to go idiot.

So yeah, this was terrible. A few good scares, but I was so bored watching this and I couldn't believe it every time I checked to see how much of this movie was left because it felt like it was four hours long. Do not recommend.

Rating: 2/10

43. The Last Matinee (Showtime)

I decided maybe I'll try a little recent foreign film from Argentina. It was... interesting.

The Last Matinee is about a girl that runs a movie theater where, during one of the movies, there is a serial killer taking out each person inside one by one.

So okay, I liked this well enough, but I didn't love it. What I liked a lot was that just killer is just mean as fuck. A total psychopath and a supremely sick man. He's just a fucking crazy person who collects eyes what the fuck. They reveal this and I'm like WHY DUDE? And it gets constantly gets worse.

I should say that there is heavy, heavy influence from Italian horror in this one. And I think they did a great job of that. The visuals and directing are pretty great here. It takes its time to set up just some gruesome moments and I really enjoyed the style in this one. Of course, coming with Italian horror is also some corniness that I also kind of associate in a lot of them, but I don't think that got in the way too much because this movie never got too serious.

I don't have much to say about our characters for the most part though. They're here to just service the story, get killed, give a couple laughs, and in specific cases be heroes in the end. It's not a very inspired plot either. It's getting by on style.

I also learned they played a movie by the actor who played the killer, which was a Frankenstein one. It didn't seem very good from what little we saw of it though.

So yeah, it's not a special movie by any stretch. I think if you want a stylish slasher, it's worth checking out; especially if you want to add a little culture to your line up or horror viewing as well. It kept me entertained and gave me some moments I don't think I'll forget, and I think that's pretty good for a film like this.

Rating: 6.5/10

44. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (Max)

It's HIS DAY. So I'm only going to watch Jason Voorhees films today! Happy Friday the 13th!

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning takes place five years after the last movie where Jason is dead for real now this time honest. Tommy Jarvis from the previous movie, now a teenager, is at a halfway house. But after someone dies there, Jason seems to return to go on another murder rampage.

So let me tell you, this movie is ass. Just one of the worst Friday the 13th films. It's so boring and so many of the kills are dull and half the time there's just one off scenes with characters before Jason kills them, and rarely are any scenes that are funny meant to be funny.

Baffling is them opening with a dream sequence of child Tommy seeing two graverobbers digging up Jason and him returning. It was actually legitimately funny in how corny it was. But I wasn't prepared for how bad it would be after that. There's just nothing here with this movie. It really feels like a complete cash-in on the franchise.

I'll go ahead and spoil the ending because it's so fucking dumb.

So the killer isn't a returned Jason. It's some random paramedic we never see that went to the halfway house after that kid died, and the kid was actually his son. And he had a breakdown and was apparently a big Jason fanatic, so he decided to put on his outfit and start murdering everyone.

And if you think that reveal is bad, there's more!

Tommy attempts to kill the survivor girl. PSYCH! That's a dream. Tommy then sees Jason come into his room, PSYCH! That's a dream. Survivor girl comes into his room and sees the window broken, and Tommy isn't there. PSYCH! Tommy is behind the door wearing a Jason mask and trying to kill her.

This movie sucks, and it sucks a lot. While I've enjoyed all of these movies before, this really feels like the first one to be outright awful. Do not recommend the fifth installment.

Rating: 3/10

Well, I had a hellacious day of work followed by fun at a haunted house. But I did end up finishing another.

45. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (Max)

This is still HIS DAY, so another Jason movie! And good news! This one is actually probably the best one so far!

Part VI is about Tommy Jarvis wanting to destroy Jason's corpse in case he comes back. But indoingso, he accidentally resurrects him as a zombie revenant!

This movie fucking rules. I remember vividly the whole opening with Tommy jamming a spike into Jason's corpse, the lightning striking, and Jason coming back to life and being an unkillable monster who punches a hole through a man.

This is so much god damn fun. Like this is peak Jason Voorhees for me. This movie takes the entire concept and finally gives us more depth to the character. Jason now feels more rounded somehow, instead of generic slasher machete man. He's an actual monster and he kind of interacts with people instead of shambling mindlessly.

What stands out are little things. Jason reacting to situations that are seemingly nothing. Just canting his head in confusion when they attempt to stop him, seeming annoyed at certain actions. Standing triumphantly over fucking burning trucks. Like he just feels like he leveled up in terms of actually giving him the slightest bit of personality now, and it feels like a characterization that sticks.

This movie gives us action, good comedy that I actually laughed at, an actually interesting story of Tommy obsessed with stopping Jason and his nightmares, seeing the effects Jason had on this city, and taking a tone that's more about having fun rather than giving us outright scares. And honestly? I like that tone a lot.

Having Jason being a lot stronger now helps too, I think. He seems like more of a menacing force now. Encounters seem more interesting. Stakes are raised with every attempt to beat him.

Everything just works with Part VI. And it's really shocking, given the shakeup they gave Jason. I just really appreciate how they managed to get more bold with this creative choice after what an uninteresting dud the last movie was. I just wish the quality had stayed like this through the whole franchise, because I remember it slowly starts going down from here.

Anyway, Part VI. Best Friday the 13th movie. If you watch one, make it this one.

Rating: 8.5/10

46. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (Max)

This not HIS DAY, but I started it last night and was too exhausted to finish it, so he gets this one anyway.

Part VII is about a psychic girl resurrecting Jason from the bottom of Camp Crystal Lake and he comes back to murder everyone.

You know what the Friday the 13th franchise never needed? A psychic. You know what we got? A psychic. But in honesty, I think I enjoyed this one a little more than I probably should, given the consensus is this one sucks. And let me tell you, it does kinda suck, but it's nowhere near A New Beginning.

This one at least has more of a plot to it and there's more investment in stakes given how badass Jason is as a killer zombie fella now. You have the doctor trying to induce the psychic's powers, her mother being protective, the psychic girl befriending A BOY, and him not being into the debauchery of the rest of his friends that aren't even there for him. There's stuff there.

But I don't particularly think many kills are great except for one with a sleeping bag. It as a couple more chuckles from the jokes, but it's such a let down after Part VI was so good. Legitimately, they ripped away what made Jason so great in that one, which was just rampaging through anyone and everyone. Scaling it back to just teenagers in the woods again makes it so much weaker to me. Not to mention there's not really a ton of action here, Jason is a lot less emotive here, and his broken mask makes him seem less cool?

Of course, the mask being removed entirely is also not a great look for him during Jason vs. Psychic Girl battle. And it's noooot a good zombie look for him, and it would have been far better to just leave him with the mask on! But we get that goofy fight that's just so disappointing.

I must stress that this movie is still pretty bad, but I liked it more than I probably should. Not really worth going out of your way to watch if you're only watching so many Friday the 13th movies.

Rating: 4.5/10

47. The Puppetman (Shudder)

Holy shit this movie came out of nowhere and was AWESOME.

The Puppetman is about a girl whose father felt compelled to murder her mother. But when her roommate notices her sleep walking habits, it's clear that something from her past has returned to her.

So let me first say that Brandon Christiansen is an outstanding director. This guy has done Still/Born and Z, both films that I think are both tremendous and creative. Like easy 8+/10 movies. I still need to re-watch Z for this one. But Christiansen put out his best film yet, easy.

The Puppetman pulls no punches and is just completely fucking brutal. There are scenes here I can't believe he pulled off on his budget. Like this comes across as a blockbuster release with how good a lot of this feels.

The characters are all great too. Each of them feel fleshed out and serve the story rather well. I think the lead actress, Alyson Gorske, did an outstanding job. But I really loved watching all of these people interact, and it felt very natural.

The script helps with this, because it's freaking great. Just a really strong script that there's just a long time in this movie where nobody has died or anything and when I noticed I didn't even mind it, because it's such a tight script.

And the Puppetman is tremendous too. I want to see a sequel to this somehow because I think this concept and everything around it just rules. I don't want to give away too much, but it really delivers something great with this idea. While it's not fully original, but feels actualized extremely well.

For the last part of this movie, it's nuts. I couldn't believe how tense and gripping it was. And then the conclusion felt actually really good too.

I don't know if everyone will like The Puppetman as much as I did, but I thought it was completely awesome. Just a strong, strong movie, and I can't wait to see what Brandon Christiansen comes up with next, because he always delivers. Go out of your way to watch The Puppetman! On Shudder, now!

Rating: 9/10

48. The Hoarder (Tubi)

I have seen this movie poster so many times and never actually bothered to watch this. But I figured I watched something outstanding last, so I can afford to watch something that probably sucks! It did.

The Hoarder is about a woman who wants to check out her fiance's storage locker. But there's a storage killer afoot!

So this was bad. That's all, really. The worst part was that Robert Knepper somehow got wrapped into this, and he's leagues above acting-wise to anyone else. Knepper is such a legend. I don't know why he just hasn't really been in much lately or when he is, it's crap like this that feels beneath him.

But it just has a bunch of weirdos that Knepper and the lead tolerate while they get picked off one by one by random BS that's in these storage lockers. It's not nearly witty or fun enough, and the humor just never lands. Not even once. It's all just an idea that feels half baked and I couldn't bring myself to care about anything in it.

I don't know what to say. It's just not good and it's a pretty mediocre slasher movie that could probably be better in someone else's hands, but it's clear that the vision wasn't there to make this halfway decent.

Rating: 3/10

I noticed The Puppetman. Might see it later this month, we'll see.

49. Fear Street Part 1: 1994 (Netflix)

I was always looking forward to re-watching this series. I really loved it a lot!

Fear Street 1994 is about a group of kids who accidentally awaken a curse that sends serial killers throughout their town's history to come and kill them, and they must survive them!

There's something that feels very special about the Fear Street series. I think the most tragic part about it is that the pandemic ruined something potentially revolutionary. The trilogy was created in mind to release the three entries within months of each other. It's an idea that I think would have probably worked. They're great movies, they've got some really good lead-ins to one another, and they make you want to see each installment of the series. Releasing them so soon one after another ensures people are engaged enough to want to see the next. Unfortunately, the pandemic happened and ravaged theaters for long enough that they had to release the series weekly on Netflix. Still cool, but this could have been a special release that may have had other series trying the same thing.

But this movie is great. It's a vicious movie that doesn't hold back. The kills are pretty awesome and it has a rather compelling plot through the whole thing. The idea is awesome too. Serial killers in the same town running around and trying to kill our protagonists is great. And all of them are unique and fight in different ways. And the teenagers in this movie feel like actual teenagers in a rough town, and they hit issues that may otherwise be taboo as well.

Leigh Janiak directs this whole trilogy, who I learned directed Honeymoon--a movie I've wanted to re-watch for a while because I really enjoyed it! Very different style, but I think that Janiak does a great job with the presentation of this. So many shots are outstanding and really deliver the fear factor here.

It also makes some very bold choices with the narrative that I'm a little bit equal parts disappointed by but intrigued by as well. Like it's hard to be disappointed by this series, and especially this entry. It's such a great movie and I love the way that each of these movies, despite being a trilogy, really feel like that one story has come to a conclusion.

If you haven't checked out this trilogy. I think you definitely should. It's really awesome and word is they're trying to make another one, which I think will be great. Bless R.L. Stein for delivering us these fun series for so long.

Rating: 8/10

Busy day today, but I ended up getting pretty hooked on the new Goosebumps series and have been watching that! The first five episodes are on Hulu and Disney+.

It's actually pretty outstanding. It's serialized, but with new takes on the classic stories. And the main characters are all in high school, so it all comes across as fresh, and they manage to make a lot of stuff legitimately scary.

Also they are hyping up the appearance of Slappy so hard I kinda love it.

I recommend it a lot! It feels wildly different from any other Goosebumps thing out there and it's done extremely well!

I'll watch a movie here tonight though. I have a ton of work stuff the next couple days though, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to watch.

I have a write up to do about Appendage soon.

But Southwest has no horror movies for this flight lol what?

Cool, curious to see your thoughts on it! I'm trying to decide on tonight's film still... think it's going to be Blood Flower on Shudder.