Current Events > I don't fit in at work

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@ShiftBlood There's nothin more soul destroyin than stumblin across old friends on facebook, only to discover they're now happily married with a perfect life, it's honestly rope fuel.

@MatzoTov They outright ignore me and speak to me abruptly if I dare to interact with them. They don't even say hi to me as I arrive on duty. If I'm in a room with them, they don't say a single word to me. They freely interact with each other as I'm completely ghosted. They don't engage eye contact with me, always abruptly dismissing me in their tone like I'm a piece of shit.

I've spoken directly to the deputy about this, she agreed with me that it's not right. Then she relayed this to a respected staff member and the latter was like "I don't know what I'm supposed to do to help him feel included". Yet she hasn't said a fuckin word to me for the past year just like the rest of 'em.

I just don't relate to them at all, they're all married with kids, privileged status that I have no comprehension of being the loser I am in life. In my previous role elsewhere, I was outright bullied by 1 girl, who would literally shout at me and humiliate me for the most basic things like not cleanin up properly or missin a spot.

This went on for a while, until it was picked up by my manager who asked me straight up if she was bullyin me. He reported her to HR, who called her in and told her off. I was honestly terrified of this person. In other roles I've been locked in the freezer by the manager who openly took the piss out of my nose in the fast food kitchen. At school and other provisions, I was bullied for my nose and my involuntary eye twitching which can be uncontrollable due to my anxiety. This twitch along with my nose, short height and introverted nature make me stand out basically. I've also had derogatory comments in regards to my half asian background. At home as well, I'm often gaslighted and have lived under domestic abuse from an evil brother. This just gives you an idea where this prejudice stems from and why I'm treated like I'm sub-human.

TeamSilent4Life posted...

They outright ignore me and speak to me abruptly if I dare to interact with them. They don't even say hi to me as I arrive on duty. If I'm in a room with them, they don't say a single word to me. They freely interact with each other as I'm completely ghosted. They don't engage eye contact with me, always abruptly dismissing me in their tone like I'm a piece of shit.

I've spoken directly to the deputy about this, she agreed with me that it's not right. Then she relayed this to a respected staff member and the latter was like "I don't know what I'm supposed to do to help him feel included". Yet she hasn't said a fuckin word to me for the past year just like the rest of 'em.

Let me ask you this - do you need to interact with your coworkers in order to do your job effectively?

If no, then they're ghosts too. Who fucking cares if they don't say hi? You said it yourself, you're an introvert. You can do your job and pretend they don't exist just as they pretend you don't exist. To your point that you can't relate to them because they have kids and shit -- who cares? They're ghosts. They're miserable dealing with changing shitty diapers and driving to soccer practice.

If yes, then escalate to management. Ask for a come to jesus meeting with management and your coworkers. It's hard, but you have to voice your concerns. Otherwise, business will continue as usual.

Separately,

TeamSilent4Life posted...

In my previous role elsewhere, I was outright bullied by 1 girl, who would literally shout at me and humiliate me for the most basic things like not cleanin up properly or missin a spot.

This went on for a while, until it was picked up by my manager who asked me straight up if she was bullyin me. He reported her to HR, who called her in and told her off. I was honestly terrified of this person. In other roles I've been locked in the freezer by the manager who openly took the piss out of my nose in the fast food kitchen. At school and other provisions, I was bullied for my nose and my involuntary eye twitching which can be uncontrollable due to my anxiety. This twitch along with my nose, short height and introverted nature make me stand out basically. I've also had derogatory comments in regards to my half asian background. At home as well, I'm often gaslighted and have lived under domestic abuse from an evil brother. This just gives you an idea where this prejudice stems from and why I'm treated like I'm sub-human.

This is legitimate bullying and harassment. However, as you indicate, they're previous roles and time at school. This is all in the past. Based on what you're writing in this topic, it sounds like your prior experiences are clouding your current experience. I'm not saying your current experience is ideal, but your issues from the past are causing your current minor issues to balloon in your mind.

I'm not saying your current experience is a good one, but it's not nearly as bad as your past experiences are leading you to believe.

I haven't read all the posts in the thread, but here is general advice for anyone anywhere:

If you truly hate your job, there is never any harm in looking for other opportunities elsewhere while continuing to work there in the meantime. Then once you get accepted somewhere new, you can give the two week notice and move on.

Just don't ditch a job without a plan.

@MazTov I just wish I had a life of my own tbh to offset this alienation. If I had friends of my own then it wouldn't affect me so much. This was the case at the start of this year when I had a girlfriend, I was goin to work with more of a spring in my step but that ship soon sailed.

I've always been a loner tbh, which is attributed to being highly introverted. Some have even questioned if I have asperger's but it's more social anxiety and extreme shyness as I have sensory needs and can communicate well with the right people.

All I've ever desired is to fit in, yet I've struggled all my life. Every environment I'm an outcast, which leads me to believe it's to do with how I look. But then I'm conflicted as the odd few staff do vibe with me. A few years ago, I formed a connection with an older lady in my home life, she understood me more than anyone and we had a fling, followed by the other person I was with earlier this year.

So on that basis, there's some evidence to suggest that there is hope if I open my heart more. But I'm very perceptive and I just know that this workin environment has a bad vibe about it. Even the cleanin lady agreed with me, tellin me that it's full of snobs who look down on others which is so fuckin true.

There's a new guy who just started and he approached me today regarding some duties. He acknowledged that he hasn't really spoken to me yet which I respected because at least he had the courtesy to approach me and actually converse with me.

Guy's been here 5 minutes and already said more words to me than any fucker has in the past year, that tells you everythin about this environment and it's hostility towards people of perceived low status. Funny how these companies are marketed as a 'friendly inclusive welcomin environment' it's all bollocks tbh.