Current Events > Happy Person Must Either Be Stupid Or Evil

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MANDAN, NDGenuinely at a loss as to how else they could account for the smiling, seemingly contented individual, witnesses reported Tuesday that local happy man Leonard Olson, 36, must either be stupid or evil. Im not sure what that grinning fuckers deal is, exactlymaybe hes a completely corrupt and appalling person, maybe hes just a dumbass, said passerby Jason Hansen, who appeared bewildered by the visibly cheerful Olson, adding that the man either had no clue about the horrible things going on around him every day, or was knowingly and deliberately causing the horrible things going on around him every day. Im not sure which it is. Its actually pretty hard to tell. Of course, theres always a chance its both. That happens sometimes. But if that self-satisfied piece of shit isnt totally brainless, hes definitely a sociopath. Reached for comment, Olson told reporters he was only happy because he had just scored some ketamine and, later on, he would be sad again.

https://www.theonion.com/happy-person-must-either-be-stupid-or-evil-1850967054

NGL people who seem content with life are highly sus