Current Events > I think my dad might have dementia. Long post inside.

(+) Yeah! (+)

So here's the full story.

My dad, who is 74 and is in regular health for his age (and is neither a drinker or a smoker) had something strange occur two months ago.

Even though he's been retired since 2012, he dreamed one night two months ago that he had to go some work-related function. To him, the dream seemed so real that he was actually getting ready to go to this non-existent function. As the morning went on he realized that it was just a dream and wasn't real. Same thing happened next morning as well.

Early in April he couldn't his car at a Walmart parking lot that he's been to many times before. He found it after an hour. Later that very same day he asked me when this year's Super Bowl was. I told him it already happened this year and for a bit he didn't believe me but eventually he remembered that it was this year.

Later in April he had another dream about how his former employer had an employee appreciation day Busch Gardens (a theme park here in Tampa) for employees and their families where they get free admission for that day and he asked if I wanted to go. I told him it was just a dream and he agreed.

He also had accidentally locked himself out of the house like five or six times over the past two months when he stepped out for a little bit to do an outside chore like take out the trash. This never really happened before the past two months.

Other than that he hasn't had any real trouble with things. He can talk normally and follow conversations normally the vast majority of the time. He also has no trouble driving anywhere.

But, just to determine what is going on, he had an appointment earlier today with his doctor for a memory test. I didn't go with him but he told all of the above information (he actually had a piece of paper with all of that written on it) to the doctor and the doctor also had him take him a memory test.

After the appointment, dad told me how it went and he said that the doctor really diagnosed him with dementia or Alzheimer's. Like the doctor never said that he has those things but in their long conversation the word "dementia" but it wasn't an official diagnosis. She said that whatever he has it's very mild right now. She seemed upbeat during the whole appointment and wasn't solemn at all. In fact, she was very glad that he came to get help because she said that most people don't come until the major warning signs start appearing. Hell, even he was in a good mood when he was telling how the appointment went!

So, she prescribed him Donepezil. The official description for that drug says that it is primarily used for the treatment of dementia associated with Alzheimer's disease and has FDA approval for use in mild, moderate, and severe stages of the disease. But like I said before, the word "Alzheimer's" never came up during their conversation. He has another appointment in three weeks.

So like, what exactly am I supposed to think here? Should I be worried? Cause right now my heart is racing. I can't seem to process all this right now. Is it possible he just has regular cognitive impairment from just aging and the doc prescribed him Donepezil as some sort of precautionary measure (even though Donepezil doesn't cure dementia and just simply slows it down a bit if he indeed does have dementia)?

I don't know who to turn to for support other than my mom. I don't have a wife or kids.

Thanks for reading!

Sorry to hear - I don't really have any experience with this so can't give any advice. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Hopefully the medication will help and you'll know more once he goes to his next appointment

AlCalavicci posted...

Sorry to hear - I don't really have any experience with this so can't give any advice. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Hopefully the medication will help and you'll know more once he goes to his next appointment

Thanks man!

that sucks man, I can't say for certain what is and isn't an early sign of dementia, but if it is at least you're catching it early. idk if that will make a difference long-term, from my understanding dementia can't be cured, but the decline can be slowed down.

my grandma had a really rapid decline a bit after she turned 80. she went from being sharp as a tack to not knowing where she is, and would always repeat the same questions. Like I'd stop by to mow her lawn, and she'd constantly ask why I was there, how I got there (as in, assuming I was a kid again and my mom dropped me off), and stuff like that. she'd also call my mom at very early hours, like 2-3am, and would claim to be at a hotel (she was either at her home, or my parents home while calling, so my mom would literally be in the next room) from working late (fwiw, my grandma has not worked since my mom was in college, so around 30ish years ago at this point)
now it's way worse, every time I see her she seems completely lost. she is at least aware of who my mom and uncle are, but anyone else is a stranger.

I really hope for you and your dad's sake, that it's not dementia or you're at least able to slow it down if it is.. dementia is like watching a person you love die without actually dying. it sucks and nobody should have to go through that.

BucketCat posted...

that sucks man, I can't say for certain what is and isn't an early sign of dementia, but if it is at least you're catching it early. idk if that will make a difference long-term, from my understanding dementia can't be cured, but the decline can be slowed down.

my grandma had a really rapid decline a bit after she turned 80. she went from being sharp as a tack to not knowing where she is, and would always repeat the same questions. Like I'd stop by to mow her lawn, and she'd constantly ask why I was there, how I got there (as in, assuming I was a kid again and my mom dropped me off), and stuff like that. she'd also call my mom at very early hours, like 2-3am, and would claim to be at a hotel (she was either at her home, or my parents home while calling, so my mom would literally be in the next room) from working late (fwiw, my grandma has not worked since my mom was in college, so around 30ish years ago at this point)
now it's way worse, every time I see her she seems completely lost. she is at least aware of who my mom and uncle are, but anyone else is a stranger.

I really hope for you and your dad's sake, that it's not dementia or you're at least able to slow it down if it is.. dementia is like watching a person you love die without actually dying. it sucks and nobody should have to go through that.

Very sorry to hear about your grandma my friend. I wish her all the best!

Btw I have an update. Just now my dad called the doctor so that I could talk to her because I wanted to ask her the gist of what she told my dad during his appointment, and she said didn't diagnose him with anything yet. They prescribed him Donepezil to see if it will help with his memory problems and in two weeks he has a follow-up appointment to see how he's doing with the medicine. They will determine at that appointment if he should keep taking the medicine or go see a neurologist. I straight up asked her if it's possible that he doesn't even have dementia and she said that yes, it is possible.

Btw, from this page (https://www.kiplinger.com/.../breakthroughs-in-alzheimers...) I saw this, and I quote:

According to the Alzheimers Association, some early dementia symptoms (contrasted with normal signs of aging) are:

Memory loss that disrupts daily life. Forgetting recently learned information, important dates or events, asking the same questions over and over, and increasingly needing to rely on memory aids or family members for things you used to handle on your own. A typical age-related change in memory that isnt necessarily cause for concern, would be occasionally forgetting names or appointments, but remembering them later.

Challenges in planning or solving problems. Changes in your ability to develop and follow a plan or work with numbers. You may have trouble following a familiar recipe or keeping track of monthly bills. You may have trouble concentrating and take much longer to do things than before. On the other hand, its normal to make occasional errors when managing finances or household bills.

Difficulty completing familiar tasks. You may have trouble driving to a familiar location, organizing a grocery list, or remembering the rules of a favorite game. Its not particularly concerning if you occasionally need help using microwave settings or recording a TV show.

Confusion with time or place. You lose track of dates, seasons and the passage of time. You may have trouble understanding something if it is not happening immediately. Sometimes you may forget where you are or how you got there. On the other hand, its not unusual if you get confused about the day of the week but figure it out later.

Trouble understanding visual images and spatial relationships. You could experience vision changes that may lead to difficulty with balance or trouble reading. You might have problems judging distance and determining color or contrast, causing issues with driving. This is different from vision changes related to cataracts.

But the thing is, he doesn't really seem to have any of those symptoms. Even his memory issues don't disrupt his daily life unless you count him locking himself out of the house those times (but that hasn't happened in a while). However, the doctor that saw him was a memory specialist so she knows a lot more than I do.

I remember this mostly same post from March 19th. I wouldn't overly worry until something more concrete is confirmed from the doctor.

archizzy posted...

I remember this mostly same post from March 19th. I wouldn't overly worry until something more concrete is confirmed from the doctor.

Ah, so you remember. I wanna say, ty for remembering that. Sincerely.

This thread is like an update to that one basically. I didn't think anyone would remember it lol.

I can't say for sure but if it's like the memory test my dad went for (he's also started having memory issues recently but not quite as frequent/significant) part of the purpose of the first test is to establish a baseline. So that when they perform the same test in the future they can get an idea of speed of mental decline which helps them diagnose things more specifically. so it's normal they haven't concretely said anything yet

kirbymuncher posted...

I can't say for sure but if it's like the memory test my dad went for (he's also started having memory issues recently but not quite as frequent/significant) part of the purpose of the first test is to establish a baseline. So that when they perform the same test in the future they can get an idea of speed of mental decline which helps them diagnose things more specifically. so it's normal they haven't concretely said anything yet

I see!

The_Sock posted...

This thread is like an update to that one basically. I didn't think anyone would remember it lol.

I remembered it but I basically never look at anyone's username so I wasn't sure if you was the same person or not.

Another thing you can do if certain forgetfulness moments start causing trouble is stick some notes around. When my grandfather's memory started getting bad he'd often drive somewhere, come back, and go into the house without turning off the car. So we stuck a paper on the front door that said something like "Remember to turn off the car!" Maybe you could do something the same with keys / getting locked out. Might not be appropriate for everyone since with the wrong mindset it can feel a bit patronizing maybe, but just a thought

How did he do with the memory test?

I've had dreams like that back in my 20s, where I thought I had to go to work or school and started getting ready and realized it was my day off work and I hadn't been in school for years

but not being able to find his car for an hour and locking himself out of the house multiple times is a bit concerning.

unfortunately there's no cure for dementia, but if he is developing it you seem to have caught it early so hopefully the medication would slow the progress.

Oh man...do I understand this. My own father has dementia pretty bad and just broke his hip because he was out moving 50 pound stone flower pots for some reason and when it tipped over he went down with it.

Now he is in a rehab home and won't be getting out. My Mom at least was able to go with him so they are together but it is so brutal to see and witness in those you love.

My thoughts go out to you.

kirbymuncher posted...

Another thing you can do if certain forgetfulness moments start causing trouble is stick some notes around. When my grandfather's memory started getting bad he'd often drive somewhere, come back, and go into the house without turning off the car. So we stuck a paper on the front door that said something like "Remember to turn off the car!" Maybe you could do something the same with keys / getting locked out. Might not be appropriate for everyone since with the wrong mindset it can feel a bit patronizing maybe, but just a thought

Thanks for the reminder! I'll keep your advice in mind.

thronedfire2 posted...

How did he do with the memory test?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Well from what I understand, it wasn't a test where you get a score. It was more like a test to determine gaps in his memory and cognitive thinking. But from what dad told me, she was upbeat and cheerful even after the test was done. She didn't act solemn or concerned. I hope that is a good sign.

Sandalorn posted...

Oh man...do I understand this. My own father has dementia pretty bad and just broke his hip because he was out moving 50 pound stone flower pots for some reason and when it tipped over he went down with it.

Now he is in a rehab home and won't be getting out. My Mom at least was able to go with him so they are together but it is so brutal to see and witness in those you love.

My thoughts go out to you.

Thanks man, and sorry to hear about your dad! I'm glad your mom is with him though so together it sounds like he will have a lot of love and support. :)

to add to the discussion my grandfather has dementia but during the time in which my uncle was alive and helped me with grocery shopping in another city he seemed normal. though now i guess he blanks out at times in conversations however still remembers me. he's 89 years old

kingdrake2 posted...

to add to the discussion my grandfather has dementia but during the time in which my uncle was alive and helped me with grocery shopping in another city he seemed normal. though now i guess he blanks out at times in conversations however still remembers me. he's 89 years old

How old was he during the time he helped you with grocery shopping? I wish him all the best.