Current Events > 1 billion dollars but you have to fight a Cassowary with your bare hands.

(+) Yeah! (+)

You don't have to win but if it kills you, you're just dead.

The Cassowary is an adult male.

I like my odds better than against an Ostrich but I mean it'll probably still kill you in a single kick.

I'll die when I am killed?! I don't know about this deal.

I wouldn't enjoy that but with that amount of money on the table you have to take the offer.

If I can wear like a full set of armor than sure why not.

what is a cassowary and why is it so dangerous

AceMos posted...

what is a cassowary and why is it so dangerous

It's basically the last dinosaur on the planet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA2LkrR0_dw

AceMos posted...

what is a cassowary and why is it so dangerous

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/56024826.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/538cda91.jpg

ok, i'll wear an electric spike suit and just tackle the cassowary, impaling it and eletrocuting it to death. the spike suit leaves me hands bare so i technically follow the restrictions

AceMos posted...

what is a cassowary and why is it so dangerous

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/9/9319e28c.jpg
Australian bird.

of course a hellbird would live in australia

I find myself casso-wary.

I'll just run up real quick and kick it. That's technically fighting it, I didn't win but I don't have to, so I immediately call an end to the fight and enjoy that sweet cash.

Turducken posted...

I'll just run up real quick and kick it. That's technically fighting it, I didn't win but I don't have to, so I immediately call an end to the fight and enjoy that sweet cash.

Sure a couple seconds after winning the fight the Cassowary has ripped out your intestines.

unless i can wear some sort of armor then not a chance lmao

What good is a billion dollars if youre going to die almost immediately

Nope, no thanks.

I'm not fighting a dinosaur

Tyranthraxus posted...

Sure a couple seconds after winning the fight the Cassowary has ripped out your intestines.

Nope. Fight's over. He isn't allowed to attack if we're not fighting.

Turducken posted...

Nope. Fight's over. He isn't allowed to attack if we're not fighting.

you stopped fighting. That doesnt mean the bird did

Deal, I'd wear a shit ton of Cassowary proof armor and punch it twice with just my exposed fists.

Or

Lasso its legs, and shut its beak, and 'fight it' as it squirms around on the floor using only my hands.

Thanks for the fake money.

ssb_yunglink2 posted...

you stopped fighting. That doesnt mean the bird did

Fuckin' cheater birdinosaur.

For a billion dollars, I'd risk it.

Cassowaries fucking dismember people. I ain't touching this deal.

For a billion I'd fight 2 at once. As long as you can get to the neck it should be over fast.

LeoRavus posted...

For a billion I'd fight 2 at once. As long as you can get to the neck it should be over fast.

dawg youre not getting to the neck of 1 much less 2

Look up videos of these things. Youd be hoping they get to your neck fast in a fight against 2 of them

AceMos posted...

of course a hellbird would live in australia

*something exist*
Australia: Hold my beer!

Tyranthraxus posted...

It's basically the last dinosaur on the planet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA2LkrR0_dw

Dude ate half the apple lmao timer should have kept going

no problem, Ive watched enough karate movies to side step this bird and twist this mofo into a knot

AceMos posted...

of course a hellbird would live in australia

They mostly live in Indonesia and Papua New Guinea. The Australian population is endangered.

Solar_Crimson posted...

They mostly live in Indonesia and Papua New Guinea. The Australian population is endangered.

Because of invasive pigs destroying the habitat.

It's weird to think about sometimes when animals go extinct that the first thing that comes to mind is how the sea mink was hunted to extinction but in reality it's because we keep destroying the habitats or upsetting ecosystem equilibrium with invasive animals.

I'll shoot the thing.

Define "fighting".

Can I just smack it once and immediately flee? Preferably to a waiting vehicle, such as an ambulance, and be driven to safety?

that's just a 3 foot turkey

What's the Cassowary's name?

I'm confident enough at my chances to sucker punch it and win immediately

I befriend it and then challenge the cassowary to an apple eating contest.

The apple is poison.

Azn_Psycho posted...

Define "fighting".

You must engage it in such a way that it is sufficiently enraged that it attacks you.

You can definitely try to flee but good luck with that.

Heh. Jokes on you. I'm actually more dangerous with my bare hands than with my swords.

Touch posted...

Heh. Jokes on you. I'm actually more dangerous with my bare hands than with my swords.

You can't fight a bird with your bear hands, that's just science.

DrizztLink posted...

You can't fight a bird with your bear hands, that's just science.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/85816a48.jpg

Tyranthraxus posted...

You must engage it in such a way that it is sufficiently enraged that it attacks you.

You can definitely try to flee but good luck with that.

Do I get to pick the Cassowary?

KajeI posted...

Do I get to pick the Cassowary?

It's an Adult Male Cassowary

Tyranthraxus posted...

It's an Adult Male Cassowary

Got it. I find the oldest Cassowary that looks like it's right on death's door and slap that one, then bravely run away.

Not all adult male cassowarys are created equal. Pick a shrimpy, sickly-looking one.

isnt it typically female birds that are the more dangerous?

are last living dino birds different?>

So if I just sucker kick it in the back of the head and run for my life does that count?

Mordecai and Rigby couldn't fight one of those without calling baby duck friends, what could we do alone?